deercountry | [closed] general catch-all

Oh, good for you! [She muses with supportive amusement. Grenades are a dangerous thing, but she's sure Tanya knows what she's doing! Or she hopes this doesn't blow up in her face. Hey, if that's her passion, she's ready to support it!

And she also doesn't have a problem with Tanya's request, it's a semi-common one when it comes to her and smaller beings. Scorpia nods along.]

Sure! I don't think of it as being like a horse at all, just as being a very helpful friend! [She immediately crouches down so that Tanya can climb on!] Come on board! Welcome to the SS Scorpia!

[ It's great having such a helpful friend. Even better that Scorpia respects and trusts her judgment enough to forego any questions. Without further ado Tanya hops onto Scorpia's back, her small hands carefully gripping the largest of the spikes on Scorpia's shoulders.

The logic behind bumming a ride this way is twofold: first, to clip the wings of temptation by taking away Tanya's ability to wander off; and second, to tie up Scorpia's claws just in case she ends up being more enticed by the treasures over time. Even if Scorpia currently feels strong of will, there's no telling what curveballs the challenge may throw their way. ]

I appreciate the welcome, Captain. We may be navigating treacherous waters, but I expect a luxurious cruise.

[ For Tanya, anyway. She's a bit hefty with her gear and weaponry, but at least she can alleviate a bit of that weight with a formula. ]

Grenades are wonderful implements of violence that any man, woman, or child can take advantage of. They're portable, simple to use, come with all kinds of functions, and don't even require you to get close to the enemy. The only tool I could recommend more would be the shovel, an invention at the pinnacle of human civilization.

Oh yeah, it will be a smooth ride.... uh... Co-Captain! Anchors away!

[She chuckles, trying to play along. Once Tanya's securely on her back, Scorpia rises to her full height and starts to move through the room at a leisurely stroll. And she listens to Tanya... with growing concern as she goes more into detail about grenades. Scorpia might have been raised as a soldier since childhood, but this still sounds like A Lot to her!]

Well, you know, not sure if I'm as much of a fan of them myself? Maybe, maybe not the best for kids too! They are really good for if you need to clear boulders or debris or something... stuff like that! I'd probably go for the shovel myself. You never know what you're gonna dig up! [That's the only use Tanya could be referring to, right?]

[ No fan of grenades? ... Well, that makes sense. It should have been obvious to Tanya from the beginning. ]

Not to worry, Scorpia. I'll be looking into alternative safety pins to ensure accessibility for even the most thickly clawed consumers. I'm sure you'll grow to love them.

[ Tanya is a businesschild for the people! She'll be happy to accommodate anyone willing to trade her a mark. Anyway, with that promise proudly made, she continues on. ]

Shovels are indeed great vehicles for material recovery. They're also great for defense if you dig a hole — and if you make it a warm bonding activity and dig with your friends, you can make a trench. If you and your friends want to go on an adventure, you can even dig a tunnel. And if at the other end of the tunnel, you come across hostiles, why, you can turn your shovel into a magic wand and convert people into corpses! It's almost folly to leave your house without a sturdy shovel.

You know, I do always have trouble using them because of these ol' pincers! [She admits with a sheepish chuckle. She's probably had more than her fair share of close calls in the past.] Wow, that's really considerate of you. Thank you, Tanya! That - that's still not my least favorite thing about grenades, but I appreciate that thoughtfulness!

[She moves along steadily while Tanya continues to speak. Most of her words about shovels sound agreeable. Most of them!]

Hmmmm! I think I gotta make it clear, I'm not really looking for people to be... corpses. I was right here agreeing with you up until that part! Maybe a shovel could be good for knocking someone out, that would be preferable in my book. Of course, if I need to knock someone out, I usually don't really need a weapon! [Between her pincers and her stinger...]

[ She's not a fan of grenades for other reasons? Ah, of course. It must be the danger of friendly fire — or the panic grenades represent when they suddenly drop in out of nowhere. Unfortunately, that's just the reality of life with grenades.

Tanya nods agreeably to Scorpia's shovel opinions. They are fair points, especially to someone like Tanya who despises killing. ]

The versatility of a shovel is really unparalleled. You're right — a shovel can fit any temperament, whether someone wants to use it for lethal means or merely to induce an involuntary nap. You do have an advantage in that your appendages are much harder than mine, but... oh, that looks like a shovel right over there.

[ It's sticking out of a pile of gold right in their path! Automatically, Tanya tries to hop off Scorpia's back so that she can retrieve said shovel. Its metal parts are beautifully brushed and gleaming, the wooden shaft delicately patterned. How could anyone possibly resist? ]

[It's the death-causing part in general, Tanya. That's her main problem with all of these things!

She does nod along as Tanya talks more about shovels. To each their own when it comes to those, it seems!

Then when she points one out, she glances towards it curiously. ...But then she feels Tanya shifting around, as if she's trying to get off... In response, she makes sure to secure her legs gently with her pincers.]

Whoa! You okay there, Tanya? Felt like you were gonna fall off for a second there! [A nervous laugh.] It- that sure is a shovel alright! I'm no appraiser of them or anything, but it sure looks like a good one! Very, very nice to look at! [And only look...]

[ She's glad that Scorpia has such a supportive hold of her, she really is, but it seems there's been a simple misunderstanding of Tanya's intent. Well, it's an innocent enough mistake, so Tanya isn't too bothered. She's much more preoccupied with claiming that nice shovel for herself. ]

It does look exceptionally well-crafted. And not too big either. Perfect timing — I'm just about out of ammo.

[ If she can't drop down, then she'll go over the top. That is, she'll start trying to climb up and out of Scorpia's grip... ]

[...Now it really feels like she's trying to get off of her. She tries to keep a hold on her legs, though she might still be able to slip out.]

Ummm! Okay, what's going on up there? Please - please keep your arms and legs on board the super great friend express at all times! In- including now!

[ Tanya isn't uncouth enough to rip herself out of Scorpia's hold when it's so insistent, so after a moment, she frowns and reluctantly settles down. ]

Alright... Then I'll just grab it on the pass. Carry on, Scorpia.

[ Minimal effort for both of them! A flawless plan. ]

[A confused blink.]

I certainly will carry on! ...But, uh, weren't you telling me that grabbing things is a thing we... shouldn't be doing at all?

[ Also a confused blink. ]

I was telling you...?

[ Tanya jolts in place, a horrified expression taking over her face. ]

I did say that! Barely a minute ago!

[ She's more or less shouting now... but the fuss is entirely justified, surely! Tanya suppresses a shudder at the thought of how completely she fell under that cursed shovel's spell. ]

Right! I knew I wasn't imagining that!

[She says as if she was almost starting to entertain the idea! But no, she ultimately remains steadfast, and is concerned at someone like Tanya seemed to forget.]

So, y'know, you can see why I'm a little confused here! I really wanna stick to this whole 'not touching' thing. It sounds like the safest thing for both of us!

[ This is really bad. Possibly even the worst. If not for her current arrangement with Scorpia, Tanya would almost certainly have succumbed to temptation and died a gaudy statue. On the bright side, it would seem that Scorpia really is highly resistant to whatever is corrupting Tanya's brain. As long as Scorpia stays at the helm of this ship, they should be able to get through okay.

Alright. Tanya slaps a hand on a non-pointy section of Scorpia's shoulder. ]

I can't be trusted. I'm relying on you to keep me in check, Scorpia. Keep on not touching anything, no matter what I end up saying.

[ For good measure, she pulls the hood of her cloak low over her face and slaps her hand against her eyes. If she can't see anything, then she can't get tempted by anything. She mutters into Scorpia's shoulder. ]

I have to wonder if you have incredible mental fortitude or if I've become mentally decrepit...

[Scorpia's taken her words to heart. And she's trying not to pay much attention to all the riches regardless! As Tanya goes on, the weight of the responsibility that comes with her role becomes clear. She has to be strong when Tanya isn't, and make sure she doesn't touch anything to become a golden statue. Time to keep her pincers up on her legs to help make sure she stays secure!]

Right. Got it. You can count on me, Tanya! I will not let you down, and I will carry out your words! ...And just those ones, not ones that you might say when you're being confusing!

[She does hear her muttering and gives a little smile in turn.]

Hey now, you are mentally glorious! I- I guess I'm just good with this kind of thing? I've never really wanted much of this kind of stuff. I'm kinda more about friendships than possessions, you know? [If there was friendship among this treasure trove, they might have a problem!]

I wouldn't have called myself particularly materialistic before today. In fact, I'm positive that I keep a light load compared to most other people. I think you must be a natural bodhisattva.

[ Her words are shaped like a compliment, but they come out like a grumble. Oh well. This is why diversification is important; what Tanya lacks, someone else will have. ]

In any case, I'll be closing my eyes for a while, so let me know if you see anything strange.

I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a fancy kind of compliment, so thank you! I'm sure you're also bod... body-satva in your own way!

[Scorpia grins, trying to make the best of Tanya's words. But now, it's back to business.]

Okay! Time to keep on this trial!

[With that, she starts marching forward.]

Nothing out of the unusual so far! Just, you know, more riches and treasures, some magical-looking swords... Are those crates of ammo? I dunno, probably not! It's probably nothing. Moving on along!

[ Crates of ammo? It is a little strange that there would be something as commonplace and expendable as ammo mixed in with all this epic weaponry. Unless they're magical bullets? If only she could sneak a handful and find out...

Dimly, she's aware that her desires are being yanked around by whatever enchantments are in this room. Her mind is fixating on things that will definitely kill her, and her logical self is fighting an uphill battle to keep her hands pressed over her eyes to prevent herself from peeking.

Talking about things in the room is a mistake. Tanya hurries to move the topic along. ]

Tell me something about where you're from, Scorpia. Anything will do.

[It sure looks like it to Scorpia! She's toted enough crates around to tell. Maybe they're special in some way, but she knows better than to dwell on that.

Which is why she gladly clings to the topic change offered by Tanya! She's glad to talk about anything that's more pleasant than this situation.]

Oh boy! I will gladly do so. Where do I start? ...Ooh, how about the Fright Zone! Yep, that's where I came from. It used to be the kingdom of its people until the Horde came along. My grandfather was the last Scorpion King, aaand now I'm supposed to be its official princess back home! Just, y'know, I've just been hanging around here instead.

... Princess?

[ Um?? Why is Tanya just hearing about this?? On the bright side, she is definitely not thinking about random ammo anymore.

Technically, Scorpia being a princess doesn't matter here any more than Tanya being a lieutenant colonel, but she still feels like she's done one or two things to Scorpia that have horrendously breached princess-handling protocol. Scorpia almost assuredly doesn't care, but Tanya, who does her best to be mindful of social status, feels like she's dropped some kind of ball. ]

You're being awfully casual about this. And why is it called the Fright Zone?

[ Awful name. Would not visit. Why would anyone visit? ]

Yep! I'm a princess alright! Just, I don't always think of myself as one because I've been used to being a soldier most of my life.

[She gives a light shrug, continuing to be very casual about it as she strides forward.]

It's just ordinary stuff about my life, nothing wild. And, y'know? I never really asked why it was called the Fright Zone. That's just, what it's been called. Forever! I like to think it's because we're frightfully good at giving out hugs! [She says with a confident smile.]

[ A beat of silence says pretty much everything about what Tanya thinks about that explanation. ]

Would you have become Queen if you hadn't come here?

Most likely! I mean, when I came here, we had kinda just liberated the Fright Zone from the Horde's control. So I don't know for sure how all the details are gonna shake out. But I think, most likely, I'll end up queening it up! It- it's something to look forward to someday!

It sounds like your work is cut out for you...

[ Being a king or queen would be way too much responsibility for Tanya's blood. Better to be a prince or princess a few steps down the line, just important enough to have a modicum of influence but unlikely to ever assume the throne. ]

You'll have to pardon me saying so, but I wouldn't have guessed you were royalty.

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