deercountry | april catch

Entry tags:

april catch - all

Who: viktor and others, open to all with some closed prompts
What: some late march/early april logs, including some tdm stuff. i'm happy to attach something else on if anyone's interest in doing something specific
When: late march through april
Where: various

content warning; terminal illness, arcane season 1 spoilers, likely game typical beast gore/body horror, potentially ableism mentioned, claustrophobic imagery

open prompts.

fishers of dreams - the lighthouse, early april (tdm)

a. while awake

[if you've been roped into this lighthouse business too you may enter to find a man already there. he seems vaguely disgruntled by the business, offers vague greetings but otherwise sticks to scribbling in his notebook. it looks like schematics and formulae, but anyone with an eye for either might notice they tend to trail off and start in odd bursts.

viktor will offer to cook when evening falls (or whatever seems to be the right mealtime in this place) so maybe that is a better time to strike up conversation. the smell coming from the kitchen is heavy on whatever spices the place stocks, promising pain to anyone who doesn't have the stomach for that sort of thing. worse if he finds the rotgut liquor tucked away, which he will pull out and offer despite smelling more like turpentine than anything edible.

these tricks of the eye though, flashes of people vaguely recognizable, he chalks it up more hallucinations. last month was mushrooms, so this? irritating, far more distracting, but it followed the pattern.

it isn't until later in all this he'll track whoever is with him down.] Did you see someone else come through? There, just up the stairs.

b. nightmare

[trying to reach the odd lighthouses is fruitless, the shadows converge and when the dark clears the area seems more closed in than before. it shouldn't be, he was just outside on the shore, yet now the dark sky seems to hang too low, lower still, suffocating.]

What now? This is another illusion of sorts, is it not? One this place is so fond of. [viktor sounds more irritated than anything, maybe defensive since the grip his has on his crutch is white-knuckle tight. in the distance seems to be a lighthouse, though the light is far and the area is so stifling, promising a tunnel that will close and snuff out the light entirely.

it's ridiculous of course, the walls are not that close, certainly not enough for this suffocating grip on the lungs and throat. there's no real explanation, less so when a few steps forward and the ground begins to dot with great metal cables, the distinct, sickly sweet smell of chemicals in the air. there are pools between them where the ocean should have been, this time shallow spills of what could be gasoline or something similar, slick rainbow puddles, oily and difficult to walk through without slipping or sinking.]

(ooc; for this one please, feel free to add your own character's nightmare in any flavor at any point!)

odds and ends - willful machine, early april

[viktor can be found around the vendors often enough, especially those specializing in scrap metal, tools or small machinery. for the most part he doesn't stick out, except for the fact often his massive omen often accompanies him, some sort of huge pink salamander/axolotl that he'll lean against or ask rather politely to help carry larger purchases.

he doesn't seem to notice or care about any attention, though the creature will blink curiously around. feel free to approach or find him haggling rather intently for such a stick of a man, accent thickening when it gets heated enough. maybe you want the same scrap? or are looking for something and he's standing nearby enough to notice a lost look and offers assistance?]

[one might also find him about by the sound of a nasty coughing fit. he stands with his back curled, a rag to his mouth as a makeshift handkerchief. it's a wet cough that shakes his entire frame, and when it's over his sniffs and clears his throat, straightening.

the cloth is stained in a pale color that catches the perpetual moonlight of april. paleblood, that he regards for a moment before folding the cloth in on itself with a small frown.]

closed prompts.

jinx - willful machine, late march

[viktor doesn't stay by the lamp exactly. he would usually but he hardly sees the point when this person he's meeting knows him by sight as far as he can tell. it leaves him feeling comfortable to wander within eyeshot mostly of the lantern, strolling down the canal docks to find a place to stand and watch the boats cut slowly through the water.

he likes it here, he thinks, in this district. the noise and foot traffic, the winding canals and dirty water, the boats bobbing to and fro - it wouldn't be a bad place to set up. a lab that will double as his home because he doesn't see the point in separating the two any longer, even if he can practically hear heimendinger's tutting about his work-life balance in his ear. it will be closer to the vendors, less of a hike to acquire what he'll need to start fresh. first a new brace for his leg and back, then some basic experiments into lunar energy to get a feel for it.

his lungs flare and burn, minor enough he manages to swallow it down without reaching for the rag in his pocket. he makes a note of the severity and timing, adds it to his growing mental list that seems to indicate his illness does indeed remain but is diminished. promising, if he's being optimistic, but at the moment he feels only a sense of irritation that now he doesn't know the timeline of his own life. one he might be shortening drastically with this ridiculous stunt.

a sigh and viktor goes back to watching the boats, trying to clear his head. he considers trying to message vi and ask her opinion of this but... no, he doubts he'll get anything. he's not sure if he disgusts her as a class traitor or amuses her in truth. better to just see for himself what he's gotten himself into like a fool.]

allen - willful machine, early april

[the 'grand tour' doesn't amount to much yet, the lab area just a large, empty space dotted with a few tables and a couple of desks, not even a chalkboard he's been keeping an eye out for or something that could do the same. one of the desks at least is littered with junk, at the moment tools and the starts of a knee brace, a table nearby with all the scrap he's managed to grab that could be useful in the future. one corner has a cot, maybe he'll clear out whatever other small rooms the place has later for a bedroom proper. maybe not.

viktor seems satisfied with it as he gestures around, and rio has commandeered one of the tables for her own to lie across.] A solid start, I think. I like this area, this eh... Willful Machine, that is.

[he'll never admit part of it is the boats. everyone's allowed a sort of childish interest, right? they're soothing, even if they lack the motors that fascinated him.] Have a seat, if you'd like. How have you been since the tombs?

wildcard.

[as i said, feel free to ask for anything else, including other tdm prompts, i am more interested in seeing the worlds built by others for the archway prompts so i didn't include any here. my plurk is

dichotomy or you can dm me here!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm still not certain if she could understand me or was just a very intelligent wolf. [viktor admits, more to himself. honestly the variety of sleepers has been something. he's met a robot too, which he had a bit of an easier time believing than the magic wolf with a dolphin, if he's honest.

rio does get up but thankfully not to cause trouble, instead just plopping her head into viktor's lap like attention now, please. he winces a little at the groan the couch makes- yes, getting rio her own place to rest soon. the last thing he wants to do is start his stay here by breaking pal's couch.

he runs his hand over her head idly, regarding the room again with the new perspective of living here. honestly it's not too different from what he's used too, his apartment in piltover was obviously much nicer but he preferred to keep things small and... well, cluttered with books and schematics. so already mostly there. once they inevitably get a chalkboard in here it really will be pretty much everything he'd want in a place.

feelings again. he distracts himself by glancing over as pal speaks, a soft huff of amusement.] I don't disagree. In a way I find this place and existence very beautiful, though I could do without the odd mind games here and there.

[really it's the invasive psychological aspects that occasionally happen that really bug him. shockingly he prefers his mind to be a safe haven he never needs to worry about being breached, and surprise! no longer the case. it's very irritating and also a little terrifying.

regardless his attention remains on pal, a moment's thought before he says,] Did you still wish to speak of Camilla? [he did say to ask later, and they seem to have wound down from work for the moment.]

[Ah, Viktor just talking to a wolf, that's not supposed to be funny and yet it completely is. Palamedes talks to skeletons, when the opportunity presents itself? So he has no room to judge and certainly no room to raise his eyebrows and look faintly amused, and yet! And yet.

—And good god, Rio; the pain of the couch draws his attention back over there (even Rocky in her Ignoring Everyone nest swivels her head around to stare), but it appears undamaged? Actually, he pushes off the wall to go sit on it, where he will maybe stop moving constantly for ten whole minutes. Remains to be seen.]

Right. If I could study corruption under a microscope without being subject to it, I wouldn't mind it at all.

[Which is the shallow interpretation, but he's there with Viktor on the subject of the mind games. He thinks about the hope orbs and that they exist at all, about having to bodily turn strangers around to not look at large bugs or else they'd go insane, about every time he's found himself apropos of this whole place shaking someone by the shoulders to tell them again that the horrors of this place are not their own fault.

Yeah, no. He's there. Trench could definitely improve its overall take. His ton of (rightfully earned, he thinks) confidence in holding himself together gives him plenty of extra time to vibrate out of his skin every time someone he cares about here is hurt or upset, which is basically weekly!

So, does he want to talk about Camilla. Yes.]

Where should I start? [a gesture, please, ask one of those trademark questions] I miss her like a whole piece of me is gone and I have complete and utter faith that she'll force her way back here eventually, so what would you like to know?

[honestly viktor is a bit amused by the constant moving about, it just seems to fit the whole palamedes overall picture. he wonders how much of that reflects in work, he commiserates with always needing a project or two to work on. well, given all their work so far he can probably safely say that yes, palamedes shares that.

rio's tail thumps in a slow rhythm as he ruffles her frills, blissfully ignoring the trauma she caused the poor couch.] The blood magic would also be a plus if the whole corruption aspect didn't come with it. For us non-magic users it's quite the thrill, really.

[again, he can only imagine how jayce would react to it. all those lectures about magic from heimendinger just out the window without so much as a wave goodbye. his lips quirk faintly at the thought.

viktor considers for a moment what he would like to ask about it all- shockingly he has a great many things he'd like to know so it's more a matter of what would go first. after a beat he says,] I'd like to know more about her, I think. What was her reaction to this place? How did she cope with it?

[Palamedes will invent himself a project to fill air time whenever necessary — it simply feels better to be busy than restless. Having a thousand things on their to-do list already is absolutely fantastic.]

One day we'll conquer corruption and you'll be doing magic like you've always had it, guaranteed.

[He's completely earnest about this, and only more so when he thinks that this, too, would be the moment Camilla leans in to tell him not to get cocky. But why not, when the groundwork is solid and the plans are good...

Now it's kind of lucky that Camilla is the main topic, hmm. Well, he remembers everything, so-]

She came to find me first thing, [he holds up a finger, like yes, he knows how predictable this next part will sound, hush in advance,] Back then I was spending most of my time camped out in the Archives with a soup thermos and a handful of spare pens.

[It was great, she even tolerated him getting book dust all over her when he went in for the Mega-Hug. The memory of it draws out a small smile, a touch bittersweet.]

Her time here wasn't very long — she set up most of this, [he pats the couch cushion for emphasis,] Then we mostly mucked around looking for interesting things to investigate. Besides how the whole place wants to slowly kill us, it was like being kids again, just finding the most interesting buttons to push to see what would happen. We were both avoiding the worst topics — being squids and other assorted crap facts, you know.

[That's just Sixth of them. He shrugs, because it was not necessarily an issue until she vanished again and those ties were left undone.]

She didn't have to tell me she was stressed out by this place for me to know. We kept busy. Once, we went on a boat ride to look at crabs. [generous description of the Emperor's disastrous boat trip: part one] She uses swords, I should mention, and spent the rest of her time practicing with those. You should see her at it; I always told her I was lucky to make necromancer adept, or else I'd have lost her to the upper echelons of the military years ago.

[a thoroughly packed schedule is the only way to live, truly. aside from that pal's optimism in this matter makes viktor's lips quirk- corruption? yes, he does believe at least that one day they can find a better balance than this. why else would he take the risks he does if he didn't believe there's always a way to change the world for the better?

hm, he's starting to sound optimistic now, which is unfortunate.] I will hold you and our projects to that.

[they can definitely do something, it's just surviving all the fun stuff inbetween that's the problem.

ah, he can't help but chuckle- he did the same honestly at first. who could blame them, learning as much as you could quickly was the ideal way of handling things, in his opinion.

but there's the aspect of these two that really get to him, just how long they've been together. it's incredible to him, to have someone for that long, so integral to each other's lives without growing resentful or stifled. he would have been skeptical of it before jayce, who taught him that yes, sometimes you do just find people like that. that was only ten years, but this? an entirely different level.

the avoiding topics doesn't really surprise him either, despite their talk now. it does tell him something about camilla though, that maybe she's more similar to pal than he was imagining. so fa the picture is a tale of opposites in many ways, scholar and warrior, friendly and a bit more serious.]

... crabs? [because ok, what?] I admit it's mind boggling to me to think of having someone placed at your side and remaining for so long. I imagine it must have been a frustrating situation for her, a place where protecting you was so tricky. Given how matter often happen at random here, there really is no perfect defense, is there?

[getting just plopped into catcombs or weird jungle games or the ocean. he can picture just how endlessly frustrating that would be, especially now that he's grown quite fond of palamedes and would share in the upset of his getting hurt in some way. he's just such a bright spot in this place, it's incredibly irritating the many ways that could be dimmed.

probably a morbid line of thought. he refocuses.] How long has it been since she left then?

[That's the spirit. Palamedes holds a hand out, to mime a handshake from over here across the little room, because of course he does.]

Deal. I won't let you down. Or anyone else here, for that matter.

[To give himself and then carry around a personal obligation to improving lives in this town is perfectly normal, and should he run himself ragged eventually — well, he has this couch to relax on.

So:] Crabs.

[Crabs!]

There isn't, though. No. We didn't talk about that, either.

[But it was certainly on her mind, he has no doubt about that. And if something had happened to her while she'd still been here, Palamedes knows he wouldn't have been able to react in any kind of rational manner, so — in that regard, they're about the same. Protecting anyone in this place is tricky, yes, that's one of Trench's universal truths.

It's simpler to think of doing anything at all here as high risk, high reward, and avoid the worst parts as much as he's able. Keep the safety of others at the forefront without obsessing to the point of mutual loss — a fine line. It doesn't escape him that Viktor is apparently concerned with protecting him, in some way; it's sweet, and Palamedes has the exact same thought process. He's attached now, he'd more than likely get a little irrational if something happened to Viktor, too.

He elects then, for the time being, to not tell Viktor about the time a sea monster maybe, kind of— swallowed him. Another time. But that covers a chunk of the time Camilla has been absent, and so if he briefly does a little finger counting...]

It was just after new year's, so... three months, almost? I'll admit I spent a few days in denial, back then.

[ah, he's really about to pull a jayce here. he can only imagine how amused the man would be with using his own ridiculous sort of lines.] Hm, we won't let them down. It is a collaboration, no? Shared glory and shared blame.

[viktor offers a crooked quirk of the lips at that, and does take a moment to consider how much responsibility pal is probably used to having. the necromancer for this planet of his? viktor wonders exactly what that really entails. another question to add to the pile one of these days.

crabs. his brow raises.] Are they really that interesting? [to be fair zaun probably has horrible, mutated by pollution crabs but viktor's still not really seeing the appeal of looking at those either. so what, they have extra limbs and some are probably the size of a large dog, welcome to the zaun run off.

he nods.] I suppose there isn't much to be said regardless. Venting, I suppose? [a shrug. maybe just mental preparation that yes, things will likely go wrong eventually. maybe he should have been more open with jayce and sky about that, now that he thinks of it. jayce especially was taking his illness hard.

rio pulls away after a few more pats, going over now to sniff at pal properly. after a few moments she seems satisfied and plops down at his feet. viktor shakes his head with a small smile, one that drops a touch at three months.]

In a way it seems cruel, to have someone here and lose them rather than be here alone. It's easy for me to navigate feelings about the people I left behind- there and here, they are two separate lives. [he frowns, considering it for a moment more before saying,] I suppose in the end it really doesn't change anything, does it? Just the hope of seeing them again. We are here and they are not.

[Oh? More sentiment? Credit the lines this: ridiculous or not, it does raise Palamedes' spirits enough to laugh. Part of him is momentarily hung up on shared blame; it isn't as if he anticipates disastrous failure? Maybe normal, no-results failure, surely more than a few times as they fumble through what works and what doesn't, but it warms him somehow to hear that Viktor will go all in for good or ill.

Trust, then. Trust and sentiment, and he gives a mock-guilty shrug; yes yes, we. Our. Of course.]

You're right, it's down to us. Luckily there's no one half as brilliant this side of the ocean.

[And crabs are not very interesting at all, they just pinch onto his clothes and hang there, useless and pesky, until someone else rescues him. This is not too embarrassing to share, but he's distracted by Rio coming over to- approve? Is this formal Rio-approval? Everything's coming up Palamedes, indeed— he shifts to lean down, hand outstretched -

To his credit, he glances up at Viktor again, like, may he? Can he do this thing?—before he gives her a well-deserved pat with all the airs of someone who does not really interact with animals much ever and is doing his best to learn. Wow!! Rio!!

Ah, but he can multitask:] Venting. And I don't think I need to tell someone as smart as you that there's only one of you, between here and there.

[Here he is doing it anyway, though. He's sure every Sleeper knows this one, the compulsion to separate Here from There, he's even done it himself. Still, Viktor is right: the hope is the same. The reality is the same, a bittersweet thing that frames so much of how to live here, differently.

But they agreed, and so Palamedes' only-one-you is merely a reminder: talking about it is allowed.]

For what it's worth, I'm glad you're here.

[intentional sentiment even, the worst kind. he truly is a sap now. still, after learning the Power of Collaboration (and friendship) with hextech makes him keen on being clear about it. they're partners in this, wherever it goes.

it's a nice feeling. he does have to chuckle at that statement.] Precisely. What could wrong, eh? [do not say that. it's magic science, going wrong in dramatic ways is what it does.

he doesn't know that ~~yet~~ so he feels rather confident that the worst that will come of this is failure to make anything useful. even that he thinks is very unlikely, they've already got so many good ideas going he is very confident at least one will bear fruit, which will keep leading to more and more growth.

at the look viktor nods.] Go ahead, she enjoys being pet. [he confirms, and to prove it that pat gets a happy tail thump. she's such an odd mix of lizard and amphibian its hard to tell what her skin will feel like but it seems a little more on the lizard side.]

Mm, we could spend a great deal of time discussing identity, memory and the shape of it all- I think it's easier just to say I agree. [he doesn't mind philosophical but honestly? he prefers to simply work with the moment and the facts.] Honestly I can't say if I'm impressed or concerned with your ability to compartmentalize with all this Camilla business. A useful skill, but likely not a very comfortable one.

[and as it turns out he'd prefer pal have an easier time of his life. ridiculous. especially if he goes around saying things like that, making viktor duck his head with a chuckle.]

For what it's worth I am glad you nearly ran into me catching those orbs. [he glances up again leaning his elbows against the table.] And I am glad you are still here. [rather than vanishing as well.]

[Good thing nobody here is superstitious or prescient or anything; oodles of confidence in the success of their endeavors can simply be what they are, without having to be genre savvy about it. Palamedes shoots him a grin, for their partnership and also for Rio, who will receive several pets, even. She's just so... large. And pink. Amazing.

Actually— nope, he can't sit still for ten minutes, he's already scooting to the edge of the couch and then down to the floor, leaning back into the cushions, to do his part in contributing to how spoiled she is.

He glances up from behind all these frills, eyebrow raised at Viktor's completely accurate assessment of his compartmentalizing. If Viktor were anyone else he might be a little bothered at probably the most piercing take he's gotten so far? Mostly, he just gets polite silence about Camilla. That Viktor is getting away with it is credit to Palamedes' fondness for him, certainly. Hmhmhm...]

I'm... practical. [Most Of The Time, and everything.] She'd give me hell if I fell apart in the interim, and I'd hate to disappoint. If you can't tell that I'm a complete mess, I must be handling it deftly.

[Joke? Maybe? He is adept at holding it together, except for when he isn't, so this is more or less true.

Now, that's two nice things Viktor says in a row, which soften him completely in an instant. He can't honestly remember the last time he felt relaxed enough to sit on the floor and pet animals? Not, obviously, the specific circumstances, but he's lived through so many high-stress events in quick succession. Personal connection and emotional self-care really do work, wow...

Well then. He does something stupid-looking with his shoulders, trying to point at the couch behind him but also not stop petting Rio - please just go with it.]

I'm not going anywhere, if I can help it. In the meantime, it's a well-known fact that all kitchen chairs are hellishly uncomfortable after a mere ten minutes, and the couch is free now. [Ahem!! Get over here and Relax, it's a brand new experience.]

[oh no, this means she'll plop her big head on pal's lap, making viktor snort. she's usually friendly but typically a little wary of people, maybe even a little skittish, so this is a good step. again unsure if she's reading something off him or making decisions on her own, but it's good to know she'll be generally approving of all this.] Sorry, I can tell her to move if you'd like.

[he nods along, a one shouldered shrug as he says,] You've already opened up several fascinating areas of research in just a few hours of conversation, I would say you are doing very well in that regard. [another pause and he says,] It is the power of momentum, I suppose. If you keep moving the building force helps along, eh?

[maybe not the most healthy way of dealing with things but it's worked. a beat and he asks,] I'm curious what you think Camilla's advice in all this would be. She seems similarly practical. [moving forward still? he knows jayce would tell them to take a break and feel things, probably, which sounds terrible to him. then again jayce wasn't always the type to give himself said break anyway.

that offer makes him blink, and yes, his back is killing him. that's kind of normal, since he's had to make do with a brace he's hobbled together in a rush, but still. rio trills in agreement and viktor huffs, pulling himself up by his crutch to come over.]

Have you died here? [relaxing topic. he takes a seat, pauses for a moment before moving to loosen his knee brace a bit. not take it off, but in the spirit of relaxing he's making an effort.] Not to dredge up bad memories, I've just been curious what it entails- or maybe more so I want to know if there's any truth to this... rebirth they keep saying.

[No no, she's a gem and he will let his legs inevitably fall asleep for her, for sure. Palamedes hums and shakes his head - all good! - and fiddles with one of these frills. Gently, of course. Fascinating...]

Camilla would default to me, [he says, with a light shrug. There are some aspects of their necro-cav relationship that lean into what could be called tradition - that is, that the necromancer calls the shots in times of serious action - and it's more comfortable to fall back on those old habits even in a place removed from the Nine Houses entirely. In both scenarios it leaves Palamedes to decide what to do in all this; the difference is simply that were she here, he wouldn't have any trouble. She defaults to him — she also tells him when he's being an idiot and likely to get them both killed.

So that's fun. The situation.]

Momentum is what I've been running on, [he can concede that much. It's been working, and his handful of treasured people here stop him from drifting too far, more or less.

He waits until Viktor has settled on the couch and then leans his head back on the other seat, looking up at him with - for a moment - pure exhaustion. This is the thing he just decided not to talk about, and here's Viktor, asking him in such a way that he can't just lie to him. That it's this over the experience itself that bothers him is another one of those handy compartmentalizing tricks, but - Viktor would find out eventually, anyway. Even if the Sixth were not committed wholeheartedly to The Truth, all Viktor has to do is catch a witness giving Palamedes a haunted look behind his back, and the jig is up.

So, alright. He makes another face, looking up at the ceiling.]

You're fine— I'd have told you eventually. It's true, what they say about rebirth. What irks me is how long I was, you know, a squid again. I'm not sure about the average expectation when it comes to... time lapsed, let's call it, but I'm fairly certain mine was abnormally long. The dumb fucking ocean— [nope. no. he's fine, he's taking a breath,] —has a mind of its own.

[He traumatized at least one teenager by taking so long to wriggle out of the depths again! Truly, what the hell!]

It was dark. I wasn't aware of myself and then I was. There's no discernible trick to it, and I'm not eager to go through it again to figure one out.

[if he didn't already like pal this would have easily tipped him over. shockingly viktor is very fond of rio, and people who treat her well always get an immediate boost in his book. it makes him smile softly to see them together, rio's little tail thump and sleepy closing of her eyes. it's getting easier not to picture her floating in that tank, a corpse in everything but name.]

Ah right, would that be the necromancer's job in this partnership? [makes sense, and he can't help but wonder how many of these partnerships are like pal's and how many are a disturbing imbalance. call him pessimistic but he has a hard time believing there aren't plenty who don't treat the bond with the same respect. he is also incredibly jaded for some wild reason. might be all the classism an biases thrown at him. weird.

ah momentum, and viktor feels a touch guilty when he sees the look that crosses pal's face. he feels he might have put a bit of a bump in the road there without meaning to. he bites his tongue from apologizing, especially since his motivations were purely selfish and based on his own fixations with death.

better to listen to it with the gravity it deserves, tapping a finger idly against his knee brace as he takes it in.]

Sometimes I wonder if we are lucky or not with this rebirth business- maybe more so if I am lucky or not. For example, should I die to my illness what happens then? Do I return to a fixed point and simply die again, then again? Does the time get shorter, is there some miracle where it all simply goes away for the price of one death?

[his lips thin, that is... much more than he's ever said outloud to anyone. equal exchange he supposes, offering a vulnerable spot for poking at one of pal's unintentionally. he glances back down with a humorless smile.]

We'll just have to make sure nothing like it happens to you again at least. What is all this research business for if not creating a better world, or at least better tools to live in it? Less... oceanic whims. [he can't even say that dryly, more with a level of bitterness at some of those whims.]

[He's learning what the tail thumps mean slowly but surely. This one is for frills? Then he'll keep doing that, and definitely have a numb leg or two if she falls asleep on his lap. Ah.]

Ideally, the whole thing is perfectly balanced, but most people will hear that one person protects the other in the immediate, the physical, and assume the rest of the dynamic from there.

[Other necromancers and cavaliers not excluded from this, if some of the other Houses' adepts and their partners are anything to go by. Palamedes only needed to see the Third Princess bite her cavalier's fingernails off for a rush of thanergy once to understand that whole thing really well.

But nothing for it now; some relationships are innately more fucked up than the others, and isn't that true of every kind? Some of their peers consider him and Camilla to be codependent weirdos who double as easy pickings - it is what it is.

Here he is, angry at the ocean, and Viktor blindsides him completely with this theorizing about his own death. Palamedes' brow creases, still frowning up at the ceiling, as he thinks about dying over and over and over again, in pain, because of the whims of some distant, unconcerned observer. His stomach twists for the horror of it and for the memory of the last time someone tried to ply him with this, as an excuse. Hmm.

Yet Viktor is different, and Palamedes couldn't possibly understand the experience, but he thinks he understands... the desperation?

Is that what it should be called, to wonder if dying would be lucky? He thinks, Shit, and then, fuckshit, for good measure.]

I can't tell you not to find out, [he manages, after a moment. Does he want Viktor to get himself killed? Absolutely not! But likewise, well — it's not up to him. But also, please don't find out.] I can tell you that I came back with the same scars as I went out with, though.

[Offered mildly, like, that's the best he can do. The scars on his ankles from pulling out bloodstones, that he'd shown the other day - older than his recent dip back into the dead sea, whatever that means.

Viktor has to go and say these things circling around protecting him again, though, and god, is this what it's like when he gets going? How does he focus on being angry at the ocean and having Complex Emotions about Past Events in the face of this? Jeez.]

Less oceanic whims. [Deal, again. The topic of death is, eh, tiring? Not that he's changing the subject, but it is actually exhausting, and he tilts sideways until his shoulder bumps Viktor's leg just so, like the point of contact alone can alleviate the death stress. He's got this.] Just don't go too far ahead of me.

In our world it sounds like a knight and their noble charge, but even that is imbalanced. The knight's life would revolve around the noble, and that duty would be respected but it would only ever go one way. [viktor muses. more a demacian thing, piltover really doesn't have anything like it.] In truth how you spoke of your ideas about how this cavalier and necromancer bond should be made me respect you more.

[it's not meant to be a compliment really, just a simple acknowledgement of a simple fact. it certainly made him more open to collaboration, and look where they're sitting now.

he rests his head back against the back of the couch, listens to rio's calming little trills.] I don't want to find out. I want to find a miraculous cure that could in turn better the lives of others here. [he snorts like that's a ridiculous wish.] But we rarely get what we want, eh? We learn to make do with what we get.

[and this really is depressing. he shakes his head at himself, some new roommate, dragging up topic upon depressing topic. at least he'll give himself a little leeway, it was important to know a little more about death here from someone he trusted the information of.

horrible and haunting, good to know. at least life still had great meaning rather than a toy to play with and toss away only to be fixed on the whims of the damn ocean. when pal bumps into his leg he offers a wane smile.] I will try.

My apologies, I think I am beginning to realize I can be a... a downer? [said dryly, though with some genuine apology. how did people hang out when it wasn't working? he thinks maybe with less intense introspection. maybe.]

[That sounds. Like. Romance novels, if he's being honest, it sounds like trashy necro-cav romance novels and trust him, he is a connoisseur, but that doesn't make the real life dynamic good. But that aside, he is going to take the bit about him and Cam as a compliment, because why shouldn't he. They're easily the best, unbiased.

Despite himself, he laughs - a quiet thing, a little rough, a little wry. Oh, are these depressing topics? Who'd have guessed.]

Don't apologize.

[He thinks he has something else to add to that, but nothing that comes to mind immediately sounds... right. Platitudes never sit well with him, and after the sheer amount of oceanic whims and opening up they've sifted through in a few minutes, he rather thinks the companionable silence is enough, for a moment.

... He could probably see about working on a medical miracle, though-- no, peace. Chilling out for five seconds.

He puts in the effort to count to five, then shifts to look up at Viktor again, doing his best not to disturb Rio. So, conclusion:]

I think we need a hobby.

[that makes viktor laugh, and as if to spite them he finds himself quickly coughing into a hastily drawn out rag for doing so. it isn't so bad this time, though there's a speckling of paleblood he regards for a moment before dabbing onto a finger then onto his brace with a little furrow of concentration.]

Could use better structural integrity, it's not built to last so much as be a placeholder and it knows it. [a moment and he wipes the blood away, looking down again with a shrug.]

I cannot say I've ever really had one of those that isn't work adjacent. Maybe we could learn to play chess? [that... he's not sure if it sounds fun honestly? it sounds engaging, at least.] Or... what are they, the reading clubs?

[he's not even sure if he's joking or being serious right now.]

[Oh— what a rollercoaster of a couple seconds, a spike of concern over that cough and then curiosity about the machine empathy's casual return, despite himself. Look at him go with that, huh. He squints at the brace, as if perhaps that will gift him with a deeper understanding of machinery - but he's got nothing. Now, if it were made of bones...]

I already know how to play chess, [he says, like, and so he doesn't play chess anymore - which is essentially the long and short of it. Camilla won't play with him because he thinks too far ahead and doesn't even enjoy himself.

He raises an eyebrow then, amused.] Book clubs? How far from work-adjacent are we aiming?

[There are at least a dozen books visible from this couch right now.]

[the biggest obvious problem with the brace is how it's clearly made from whatever scrape he could get his hands on and quickly. he misses jayce's forge like no one's business, but he's a little pleased to get a chance to do magic again now that he feels more open to it. even if his brace was basically mocking his own damn work.

his lips quirk regardless, folding up the rag but keeping it on hand in case. hm, that sounded like no chess then, or at least the lack of followup and interest made it sound that way. book club though?]

Well... I suppose in the spirit of a proper hobby it should be purely recreational, but I don't see why books that are also useful and relevant to our interests wouldn't be recreational. [they're already trying to cheat.] And you clearly have an interesting collection already.

[Oh yes, this is already cheating. Palamedes' only, ah, spare novel is a trashy necromancer romance novel, but that's not book club material anyway if he only has the one.]

Now, that's a study group. We already are one of those. Still, I'll put a pin in it — just in case.

[When they cheat and do more research for "book club," inevitably. He does try to think of other hobbies, but what, uh... what hobbies exist, actually... He lets his head fall back on the couch again to ask the ceiling for advice; if nothing else, trying to Find a Hobby is a pleasant diversion from other, heavier topics.]

How about cooking? [This one is inspired entirely by how criminally underfed they both are, at a glance. Maybe, self-care is the hobby.]

[viktor sighs, cheating caught out. he has a point, he guesses. maybe one day they can just swap between reading the trashy romance novel because honestly if that's not an excellent book club i don't know what is. the world of trashy romance might be good for viktor.]

Oh, well... I suppose that's at least a useful skill. [and yeah, they both look like maybe they could use it.] I know how but I rarely do so, though... I have cooked for some people here a couple of times and that was enjoyable enough. It has more purpose that way.

[maybe this could be the hobby? it's better than something like sports or hiking in the many dangerous places that will kill them.] Do you know how to cook?

[viktor please read his original sequel he wrote mostly on wallpaper at first for reasons ty]

I put fruit in a bowl for you. No; I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to actual cooking. And before you ask: Cam isn't a master chef, or anything like that. We grew up in a dormitory with a kitchen prime for sneaking into.

[So, perhaps cooking is the hobby. Sure, they have a... mini kitchen in here, essentially, but they are only two people.]

You're a man of many talents, [compliment! are not 99% of academics workaholics incapable of cooking, yes, Palamedes includes himself in that one,] You'd teach me?

It was very good fruit in a bowl with other things. [viktor huffs. he liked that fruit in a bowl. also he will read that the second he sees a bunch of writing on wallpaper and simply must know what the hell that's about.

that sounds about right though and he nods. the only reason he knows how to cook is fending for himself for a very long time, and it has been useful in this new place whee fending for yourself is the name of the game. so after a moment he nods.]

Of course, though I must warn you of two things. Most of what I know how to make is eh... not particularly gourmet. It will be useful here though, they are recipes very easy to substitute for what you can find. The second is I prefer spicy food when possible. Do you like that?

I know; you're weak to sweets. [He's going to remember this fact, do not worry. Luckily, he's rewritten most of his draft properly, in one of his too-many notebooks; it's somewhere in that mess, discoverable with patience.

Apropos of nothing, that is.]

Spicy food? Maybe. I don't know; Sixth food is fairly basic. [That, and Camilla usually has to bother him to finish Plain Vegetables? Maybe spicy food will finally convince him that meals aren't tedious interruptions.] I'll try anything once — just look away if I start crying.

[Real possibility. What are spices.]

One day I will make you sweetmilk. It is a drink from home. [that'll teach pal for saying he's weak to sweets. it's less sweet and more a warm, spiced milk drink and apparently sharing things you like with people you like is a whole thing.

basic makes him think he should probably try to tone it down a little at first.] You certainly need to be introduced to spices in general then. We will work on this. [it might even be nice.

he plops his head back against the couch again, a soft sigh as shifting puts his back into a more comfortable position.] You could draw more, that is supposed to be a good hobby.

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