mehanizovati: (27)
Viktor ([personal profile] mehanizovati) wrote in [community profile] deercountry2022-03-31 12:24 pm

april catch - all

Who: viktor and others, open to all with some closed prompts
What: some late march/early april logs, including some tdm stuff. i'm happy to attach something else on if anyone's interest in doing something specific
When: late march through april
Where: various

content warning; terminal illness, arcane season 1 spoilers, likely game typical beast gore/body horror, potentially ableism mentioned, claustrophobic imagery



open prompts.

fishers of dreams - the lighthouse, early april (tdm)

a. while awake


[if you've been roped into this lighthouse business too you may enter to find a man already there. he seems vaguely disgruntled by the business, offers vague greetings but otherwise sticks to scribbling in his notebook. it looks like schematics and formulae, but anyone with an eye for either might notice they tend to trail off and start in odd bursts.

viktor will offer to cook when evening falls (or whatever seems to be the right mealtime in this place) so maybe that is a better time to strike up conversation. the smell coming from the kitchen is heavy on whatever spices the place stocks, promising pain to anyone who doesn't have the stomach for that sort of thing. worse if he finds the rotgut liquor tucked away, which he will pull out and offer despite smelling more like turpentine than anything edible.

these tricks of the eye though, flashes of people vaguely recognizable, he chalks it up more hallucinations. last month was mushrooms, so this? irritating, far more distracting, but it followed the pattern.

it isn't until later in all this he'll track whoever is with him down.]
Did you see someone else come through? There, just up the stairs.



b. nightmare

[trying to reach the odd lighthouses is fruitless, the shadows converge and when the dark clears the area seems more closed in than before. it shouldn't be, he was just outside on the shore, yet now the dark sky seems to hang too low, lower still, suffocating.]

What now? This is another illusion of sorts, is it not? One this place is so fond of. [viktor sounds more irritated than anything, maybe defensive since the grip his has on his crutch is white-knuckle tight. in the distance seems to be a lighthouse, though the light is far and the area is so stifling, promising a tunnel that will close and snuff out the light entirely.

it's ridiculous of course, the walls are not that close, certainly not enough for this suffocating grip on the lungs and throat. there's no real explanation, less so when a few steps forward and the ground begins to dot with great metal cables, the distinct, sickly sweet smell of chemicals in the air. there are pools between them where the ocean should have been, this time shallow spills of what could be gasoline or something similar, slick rainbow puddles, oily and difficult to walk through without slipping or sinking.]

(ooc; for this one please, feel free to add your own character's nightmare in any flavor at any point!)



odds and ends - willful machine, early april

[viktor can be found around the vendors often enough, especially those specializing in scrap metal, tools or small machinery. for the most part he doesn't stick out, except for the fact often his massive omen often accompanies him, some sort of huge pink salamander/axolotl that he'll lean against or ask rather politely to help carry larger purchases.

he doesn't seem to notice or care about any attention, though the creature will blink curiously around. feel free to approach or find him haggling rather intently for such a stick of a man, accent thickening when it gets heated enough. maybe you want the same scrap? or are looking for something and he's standing nearby enough to notice a lost look and offers assistance?]



[one might also find him about by the sound of a nasty coughing fit. he stands with his back curled, a rag to his mouth as a makeshift handkerchief. it's a wet cough that shakes his entire frame, and when it's over his sniffs and clears his throat, straightening.

the cloth is stained in a pale color that catches the perpetual moonlight of april. paleblood, that he regards for a moment before folding the cloth in on itself with a small frown.]





closed prompts.


jinx - willful machine, late march

[viktor doesn't stay by the lamp exactly. he would usually but he hardly sees the point when this person he's meeting knows him by sight as far as he can tell. it leaves him feeling comfortable to wander within eyeshot mostly of the lantern, strolling down the canal docks to find a place to stand and watch the boats cut slowly through the water.

he likes it here, he thinks, in this district. the noise and foot traffic, the winding canals and dirty water, the boats bobbing to and fro - it wouldn't be a bad place to set up. a lab that will double as his home because he doesn't see the point in separating the two any longer, even if he can practically hear heimendinger's tutting about his work-life balance in his ear. it will be closer to the vendors, less of a hike to acquire what he'll need to start fresh. first a new brace for his leg and back, then some basic experiments into lunar energy to get a feel for it.

his lungs flare and burn, minor enough he manages to swallow it down without reaching for the rag in his pocket. he makes a note of the severity and timing, adds it to his growing mental list that seems to indicate his illness does indeed remain but is diminished. promising, if he's being optimistic, but at the moment he feels only a sense of irritation that now he doesn't know the timeline of his own life. one he might be shortening drastically with this ridiculous stunt.

a sigh and viktor goes back to watching the boats, trying to clear his head. he considers trying to message vi and ask her opinion of this but... no, he doubts he'll get anything. he's not sure if he disgusts her as a class traitor or amuses her in truth. better to just see for himself what he's gotten himself into like a fool.]




allen - willful machine, early april

[the 'grand tour' doesn't amount to much yet, the lab area just a large, empty space dotted with a few tables and a couple of desks, not even a chalkboard he's been keeping an eye out for or something that could do the same. one of the desks at least is littered with junk, at the moment tools and the starts of a knee brace, a table nearby with all the scrap he's managed to grab that could be useful in the future. one corner has a cot, maybe he'll clear out whatever other small rooms the place has later for a bedroom proper. maybe not.

viktor seems satisfied with it as he gestures around, and rio has commandeered one of the tables for her own to lie across.]
A solid start, I think. I like this area, this eh... Willful Machine, that is.

[he'll never admit part of it is the boats. everyone's allowed a sort of childish interest, right? they're soothing, even if they lack the motors that fascinated him.] Have a seat, if you'd like. How have you been since the tombs?



wildcard.

[as i said, feel free to ask for anything else, including other tdm prompts, i am more interested in seeing the worlds built by others for the archway prompts so i didn't include any here. my plurk is [plurk.com profile] dichotomy or you can dm me here!]
megatheorem: (284)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Gosh. Palamedes scoffs, shrugging one shoulder and resisting - mostly - the urge to roll his eyes.]

You're too enamored with your machines; flesh yields more than you'd expect. [He can put lungs in there, good gracious, don't make it sound so impossible. But speaking of flesh yielding, and the quip back about his soul-ripping plan that dies on his tongue, ah— It's not the first time they've done this particular dance, it's not even the first time today, but the touch of cool fingertips centers him on Viktor the way a rogue innuendo only sometimes does.

He leans in, just a smidge; just tipping his face obligingly. He's helping.]


You'd give up an entire afternoon? You have been thinking about this all night. [Ha ha,] And if it will get you to take a break— gladly.

[He's not going to renege on the taking a break point, it's important - but taking a break and harmless flirting aren't mutually exclusive items. The magnetic draw of Viktor's touch nearly sparks at the part of Palamedes that knows he should keep his distance, that Viktor doesn't deserve to be dragged into Lyctor business, that he should stop asking about the other terrible thing—

But it makes his restless mind an iota less so; too compelling to ignore. He lifts his dismissed hand again, this time to curl fingers around Viktor's metal wrist and settle there, poised between encouraging and pulling away.]


Hmm, but would I like to— I might.
megatheorem: (284)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
You'll just have to trust me and my profound knowledge of the medium of the flesh. It's more elegant than you're giving it credit for, but regardless— I promise I won't let anything grotesque happen to you.

[Well, here meaning "utter failure," perhaps, and not "large-scale bodily experiments." Those aren't grotesque, Palamedes supposes; he doesn't understand Viktor's metal hand and how it works, for example, but it doesn't viscerally horrify him as much as what Harrow tried to do to her own skull. It certainly doesn't horrify him as much as what he himself did to Camilla!

Hurrah, then, for lung surgery. This is a task he can actually accomplish, and bonus, Viktor will be better off for it. If Palamedes never has to hear him cough like all of his bones will rattle out of him at once again, it will be too soon.

In any case, a solid might. A firm maybe. He lets go of Viktor's arm to thumb at the collar of his shirt instead, eyebrow raised.]


Are we bartering? If I take your drugs and sit still while you take your notes, you'll do me the favor of doing another thing you already want to do? [such a huge and noble sacrifice, sir,] Very cunning of you.
megatheorem: (376)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course I can. It wouldn't take long.

[Here's to hoping Viktor will accept some new fleshy lungs and not do something weird with metal parts, if only because Palamedes cannot help with metal parts and getting new lungs seems like a thing that should always be a two-man job, Viktor.

Eventually, in any case. Here and now, he must dissect this new "hands on" information, hm - fascinating. The innate eroticism of multitasking strikes again.]


I drew the wards for you, [he says, faux-petulant in response to Viktor's attitude. You draw a man wards and agree to pull out his lungs and he makes quips about doing all the work, wow... no respect.]

But— alright. I do want you to be hands on. [Like, just getting to the point, this is a thing he's considered, with and without the 'oh it is an experiment, I am merely observing' context tacked on. And how bad can these drugs be! Ha.] I'll try it.
megatheorem: (213)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 04:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ah, there it is. He rolls his eyes, but fine,] If you must, yes. Anything you can do to ordinary lungs.

[He's ready to move on from talking about metal parts entirely, though, and focusing all his attention on what Viktor is doing now. That he already has a metal part has been grandfathered in as acceptable and not unpleasantly distracting, so, congratulations to the metal hand.

Palamedes can't help the flicker of amusement that crosses his face when he sees Viktor blush just a fraction, and it's that which becomes the damning thing. That and the way Viktor starts talking about mutations, like that isn't a mood killer, and Palamedes has to remember ah - right. This is the thing Viktor doesn't want him to do. Or, well, ingesting any of that drug is a precursor to the thing Viktor doesn't want him to do, and much as he's set on doing that thing, the tangle of emotions about Viktor's involvement hasn't untangled itself even a little.

For a moment he was so caught up in being hands on that he forgot they live in a world where Viktor would rather he not try to rip his soul in half. Ah.

He reaches out, touching the vial but not taking it. Shame that Viktor doesn't have a second, less potentially useful drug, huh.]


Do the effects correspond to the quantity imbibed? [like maybe if he takes a small sip he'll just feel real cool for a while and Viktor won't have to give him any looks about his unhinged soul ideas, that would be handy. Maybe they can skip the unhinged plans entirely just for an afternoon, and he won't have to worry about Viktor trying to lobotomize himself so he never blushes again.

Boy, is it hard to be both concerned about a guy's welfare and also resiliently attracted to 'hands on multitasking'. Damn it.]


Are you sure you want me to do this?
megatheorem: (295)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Right, I wouldn't want to knock any beakers over. [Hm, well now he wants to know about the paleblood effects— no, no. He's focused. Later. He puts that aside, and with it the oddness of this thing they're doing right now, standing here both holding this vial and talking about the drug's side effects like it's cold medicine and not - a drug, obviously, but also just ignoring the elephant in the room.

Well, until the end there. There, Viktor's sidestepping, his removal of his wants from the whole thing, there's the center of it. And if Palamedes were any of his Lyctor colleagues, he'd have the right idea: why should anyone else's wants or needs matter when it comes to his goals? He's already made Camilla's restoration nonnegotiable, what does it matter if he walks over a few people to get there?

But it does matter. Palamedes hasn't been a Lyctor long enough to see other lives as meaninglessly short, hopes to not be a Lyctor that long besides, and— well.]


I can care about two things, [he says, almost like it's too obvious and he shouldn't have to say it. Even if he were so callous, upsetting his scientist enough could risk his resource supply, hm? So, obviously, caring about Viktor is allowed. Sorry. Next time, he'll make certain to be horny on main without drugs involved.]

Think of it as eliminating all the unknowns. It does matter.
megatheorem: (307)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[The obvious lesson to be learned here, of course, is that teamwork is a sucker's game. Relying on anyone else will surely end in being attached, and being attached only makes the inevitable worse. For all intents and purposes, he never should have asked Viktor to help him with Camilla. Probably, Camilla would be pissed at him for doing it too, as a bonus.

But he still would have been drawn to him besides, and would it have been more cruel to one day simply vanish, having rent himself in two and ceased to be because the work cannot be undone when it begins with such fucking amateurish steps? Would that be worse than the way Viktor looks at him right now, reminds him that he's already bothered by Palamedes' goals, and it simply hasn't escalated to genuine hurt?

His hand closes around the vial and he uses it like a sort of anchor, stepping closer. He lifts his other hand and then just hovers with it, not fully reaching for Viktor, because that is kind of the issue, isn't it.]


I'm not going to do that to you, [support his lobotomy? dismiss him as unnecessary if he backs out? either,] and it's stupid of you to think that.

[Camilla is still nonnegotiable, but Palamedes doesn't think it's down to one or the other - but he also doubts "but I really would like to do some soul cutting" would go over well right this second. About as well as Viktor implying that affection for him is a thing to be excised via lobotomy so as not to inconvenience him is going over, as it happens.

Now, then, does he touch Viktor, grip tight on the spot where neck meets shoulder, betraying the distress he feels from the fucking lobotomy that he manages to keep out of his voice.]


When you told me about this drug, I wasn't thinking— I haven't been fair to you. I'm sorry.

[He crowds a little closer again, close enough to kiss him, but he holds back on that for now. Quietly,] It was an asshole move of me to ask you to do something like that. So don't; I'll find a better way.
megatheorem: (036)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-07 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't even think it's going to work, [he points out, a murmur. Viktor doesn't break but he bends, in the look on his face and the timbre of his voice, and that solidifies something for Palamedes. He feels the full brunt of that one in his chest, a sudden sputtering ache, and ah; it was inevitable, wasn't it.

He continues,]
You don't think it's going to work and you still want to lecture me about my options.

[The shut up is implied there, of course. Palamedes slides his hand up into Viktor's hair, holding them together like this, maybe ready to make Viktor look at him if he suddenly needs to, or anything, ahem.

He reviews the facts: Camilla is nonnegotiable. He will never give up on reversing the work to get her back. He cares about Viktor, somehow, maddeningly, impossibly after plunging himself into a world where he never imagined he'd care about anything but rage and regret ever again.

Hmm. Well, it is a fact. Further: he's a miserable wretch at the best of times, and Viktor's banter and his company somehow makes that sort of okay. To beg Viktor not to shove pins into his brain or whatever he'd like to do is pointedly not the same as throwing away Camilla.]


Don't hurt yourself for my sake. You can call me daft a hundred more times, maybe I'll deserve it. But don't turn away from me and tell me it's for the sake of my goals.

[Which, again, Viktor doesn't even think will work, so how is this an impasse? Why keep trying to remove himself from the equation, while Palamedes loudly insists that's impossible? It's as frustrating as it is, hm, dismal. Perhaps if he simply holds Viktor long enough, he'll get through to him.

It was much easier to 'have an understanding' when he barely knew the man. So, oops, more or less.]


Camilla can't be reduced to a desired outcome, and I've never thought you were just a useful tool. I'll get her back, but I won't hurt you to do it.

[It's not A vs B, please. It's C, both of the above.]

Are you— [boy, this is going to be a question, but considering the lobotomy plans he has to ask,] Does it frighten you that I care about you?
megatheorem: (081)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-08 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
Not if you're right, and it isn't going to work. I can only gamble with so many things, and I won't let Camilla be one of them. Or you. [Now, himself... well, they don't have to unpack that right now, but the point is: he meant it earlier when he insisted he wouldn't act in haste; if Viktor can verify beyond the shadow of a doubt that this drug will not ever do the thing he wants it to, then why would he pulverize his brain with it! Logic.

He's not entirely sure that's the point; it's something else on top of that, some conviction Viktor has about People and Goals, and perhaps that isn't a problem Palamedes can solve. But he can curl his fingers into Viktor's hair in silent reminder that he's still here, he hasn't left for other ambitions or anything else.

The tears undo him. Viktor can be sulky, and furious, and indignant, but Palamedes has never seen him cry— has never known him to let himself shed a tear. Maybe that's the point Viktor is trying to make— it's not going to stick, though.]


And? [okay, not just And, hold on--] You're threatening to do the same thing if my work hurts you too much.

[Just saying. He tugs his other hand out of Viktor's grip and- ah, puts the vial down on the table, after a beat, right- and cups his cheek, brushing away a tear with his thumb. What kind of monster would go ahead with his unhinged plan now, after making Viktor cry over it? He'll keep insisting that plan is over as many times as it takes...]

Letting you get hurt scares me— of course it does. I care about you all the same; enough to risk it.
megatheorem: (307)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-08 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, that's semantics, first of all - and Palamedes is sure it isn't true. In this instance, watching Viktor cry like this and call it excess, he thinks, no: they are exactly the same. Neither of them have any idea how to value themselves anymore, do they? The things he would do to himself to ensure the lives of the people he cares about— well, they'd make Viktor cry even longer, most likely.

So.]


It's the same. It is.

[So alright, he can admit his sharp turn into self-destruction if that means Viktor can see it too, in himself. They both have to admit this thing, he thinks - if only to see it clearly.

And so his voice is soft, gentle even, while he wipes away another damnable tear and presses a kiss against Viktor's hair, lingering there a moment just - just to stay centered. To hold Viktor against him like he'll run off and destroy himself if Palamedes lets go, to stop his own tears from falling. If he lets go of Viktor, he thinks, he will lose him; if he lets go of Viktor his hands will shake too hard to reach for him again, and he will have tried to save one precious person and care for another and royally fucked up both his chances, and he cannot go through another immutable loss.

(He knows Camilla is gone, is the thing. Deep down, in a quiet place, he does. The shape of grieving her is his own face staring back at him. He won't lose anyone else to the same spectre, if he can help it.)

Now that he knows Viktor's self worth sits at a stunning zero, however-]


You are to me. You're so much more.
megatheorem: (295)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-08 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah, and there he is, leaning into Palamedes with all the things neither of them have managed to say. Palamedes' grip in his hair is probably a fraction too tight but it's only to keep him steady, and he half expects kissing him like this to feel like drowning but it doesn't, it's—

It's a jolt back to his senses, back to - to reality, as he blinks himself awake in turn and squints at the vague shapes of Viktor and Rio, dimly lit by the moon orb on the other side of the room. A dream, then, and he wonders why he's woken up so abruptly, shifts to lean up on one elbow on his side, to squint some more.

Were he wearing his glasses to sleep like a complete madman, it would take him less time to notice the tears still running down Viktor's face. Instead he has to squint, and the realization makes the whole room lurch for a second. Automatically his hand goes to Viktor's cheek to brush off the freshest tears there, and, ah-?]


You're awake? Did you dream, too?

[Let's start there, at the beginning: did that happen, insofar as they both were 'there'? He already feels like his heart's been wrung out and left on the floor, and now Viktor is (still) crying— that's not... great.]
megatheorem: (036)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-08 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Mm. That's the one. [A stilted little agreement, as he's not entirely awake enough to unpack being a Lyctor in a dream that felt as real as that one did. He's not particularly interested in unpacking it while Viktor is still visibly crying, either, lying back down from his elbow-lean to move in close, to kiss him on the cheek like he's definitely not weeping.]

Shh, don't apologize. [He didn't do anything, etc. Sometimes an earth-shaking shared vision just happens around here - although that's the first time Palamedes has participated, rather than just watch. Ah.

...And. Emotional transference? He smooths his thumb over Viktor's cheek once more before shifting to wrap that arm around his shoulders, hand lingering at the back of his neck. Emotional transference, Viktor??—]


In there, you— said some things about yourself.

[he's not asking, but he is asking.]
megatheorem: (020)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-08 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
Right; I think I could have done without the enlightenment, [he mutters, already feeling tired again just thinking about this dream. The knowledge that his feelings for Viktor cross the lines of possibility into other versions of themselves is— well, he likes that on principle. Mostly, it was the other things.

Why did he cut off his hand, for example... Well, baby steps. He kisses him again, purely for the feeling of it being- not so desperate, the way it was at the end of the dream. Mm.]


Alright. [Hm, all of those do make him feel better, actually. He doesn't need to press.] It's not every day I wake up to you crying. If you're sure you're okay, then— good.

[He does not ask, hey, about the lobotomy? because why would his Viktor, who has emotions all the time without a problem, do that thing. Ridiculous. Wouldn't ever happen.]
megatheorem: (211)

[personal profile] megatheorem 2022-05-08 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
[Palamedes is content to let him just breathe, tracing little loops on the back of his neck in thoughtful silence. Viktor is alright, he reminds himself again, Viktor is here in his arms and in their bed the same way he always is, not about to shake himself apart. Even the pink blob that is Rio past the edge of the bed is a quiet relief; they're fine.

And he, himself, well— his immediate response is to not want to talk about it, but they've seen how that strategy plays out in the long term. He hums, and thinks about it more earnestly, if nothing else than to be fair to the other version of himself. He knows how he felt in the dream, and to think of it again now is faintly dizzying - but he is just Palamedes the Sixth, not the Lyctor half-delirious with grief.

He does still make a face, though. Enh.]


You're sweet not to demand it of me. Go ahead, the floor is yours.

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