[Hoo boy, Palamedes thinks, and looks briefly aside to give his own mug a look like maybe it can advise him on how best to handle another traumatized youth (tm). Okay.
(Also, is a terrible sea beast that genuinely ate him now a sympathetic figure? Is that the situation? Maybe if someone had told him to try talking to it first, damn...)]
Right, [he says, still gently, and also,] Someone's undoubtedly told you already, but what happened to you isn't your fault. I don't need to have seen it to know that much. Whatever it is you're feeling now—
[Hmm. How to. Word this concept.]
Let yourself feel it. But you won't have to feel it forever.
[It's probably a strange response. But it's the only one that a boy who is still learning that time and distance can heal wounds or at least scar them over. These feelings are something he's never contended with before.]
I've said those words to others and meant them honestly, but it didn't seem to make them believe it wasn't their fault. And now I see that sometimes it's easier for others to be kind to you than it is to be kind to yourself.
[Odd, maybe, but so much easier to handle than someone who might require Palamedes to start spitting out stupid platitudes at them. He raises an eyebrow - thinks about it, then nods.]
Well — no, you're right. It usually is. And don't get me started on the trials of proving you give a damn about someone.
[Even traumatized angel boys met one time on a beach. Ahem. Like, for example, for no reason whatsoever.]
There isn't a cure-all for... let's call it adversity. You change, and you figure out how to deal, and it takes a while.
[He glances around the room, taking in the remnants of the party that still haven't been cleaned up.
Then he turns back to Palamedes, watching him thoughtfully, thinking about he too was consumed by this beast but only Kaworu was able to connect into it's very soul. Of course, it would be hard for everyone else to understand why the beast was the way it was.]
It hasn't been that long. Not really. Still, I feel like I have changed since that day.
[The real variable is the realization, he thinks. One could take ten minutes or ten years to realize some significant change took place and funnel it back to its source — the interim is not the point.]
Look, I could be talking straight out of my ass right now— [from a mind extremely good at compartmentalizing baggage, about a thing he did not experience firsthand, ahem,] But try not to moralize your actions. Justification will take up all of your time; there's no trick for it. So— process. Have another party, anything.
[If Palamedes feels anything at all over the epithet 'Teacher,' not a flash of it shows on his face. He almost doesn't know what to feel about God, For Real gathering all these impressionable sad teenagers into his house, so he settles on wow, creative— and puts it solidly aside, to be unpacked later.]
It's not my party to throw, but I feel I have an obligation to point out that you can throw parties in other places.
[And that's not even commentary on anyone or any particular behaviors, that's just a fact.]
Regardless: that's good. You've all been good friends to each other, here.
[He's never had people he cared for. Or people who cared for him. People that just sit on the couch and listen to him play piano because they like it. The opportunity to just be with someone is so precious.
I don't see why not. You have fireworks? [HMM] Are they here?
[Teens these days sure are wild. In Palamedes' day the hip thing to do was stare out the view screens and hope a few space rocks ran into each other... Yes, obviously fireworks can't go wrong.]
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(Also, is a terrible sea beast that genuinely ate him now a sympathetic figure? Is that the situation? Maybe if someone had told him to try talking to it first, damn...)]
Right, [he says, still gently, and also,] Someone's undoubtedly told you already, but what happened to you isn't your fault. I don't need to have seen it to know that much. Whatever it is you're feeling now—
[Hmm. How to. Word this concept.]
Let yourself feel it. But you won't have to feel it forever.
no subject
[It's probably a strange response. But it's the only one that a boy who is still learning that time and distance can heal wounds or at least scar them over. These feelings are something he's never contended with before.]
I've said those words to others and meant them honestly, but it didn't seem to make them believe it wasn't their fault. And now I see that sometimes it's easier for others to be kind to you than it is to be kind to yourself.
no subject
Well — no, you're right. It usually is. And don't get me started on the trials of proving you give a damn about someone.
[Even traumatized angel boys met one time on a beach. Ahem. Like, for example, for no reason whatsoever.]
There isn't a cure-all for... let's call it adversity. You change, and you figure out how to deal, and it takes a while.
no subject
[He glances around the room, taking in the remnants of the party that still haven't been cleaned up.
Then he turns back to Palamedes, watching him thoughtfully, thinking about he too was consumed by this beast but only Kaworu was able to connect into it's very soul. Of course, it would be hard for everyone else to understand why the beast was the way it was.]
It hasn't been that long. Not really. Still, I feel like I have changed since that day.
no subject
[The real variable is the realization, he thinks. One could take ten minutes or ten years to realize some significant change took place and funnel it back to its source — the interim is not the point.]
Look, I could be talking straight out of my ass right now— [from a mind extremely good at compartmentalizing baggage, about a thing he did not experience firsthand, ahem,] But try not to moralize your actions. Justification will take up all of your time; there's no trick for it. So— process. Have another party, anything.
no subject
[So the hosts sort of got wasted and things were stolen and people threw up in places that they should not have thrown up in.
But, it was fun, and scenes and conversations from the last night play out in his head and bring a smile to his face.]
But I think... that's why I wanted to have one. To help process. And know that others were processing too.
[Not for him. Or maybe a bit for him. And a bit for everyone who was there.]
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It's not my party to throw, but I feel I have an obligation to point out that you can throw parties in other places.
[And that's not even commentary on anyone or any particular behaviors, that's just a fact.]
Regardless: that's good. You've all been good friends to each other, here.
no subject
[He's never had people he cared for. Or people who cared for him. People that just sit on the couch and listen to him play piano because they like it. The opportunity to just be with someone is so precious.
Then he blinks.]
Oh. Can we have a party at your house?
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[It's a bunker. It's one room and only one tiny bathroom, and there aren't even any plants.]
You could have a party in the field outside my house.
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I don't see why not. You have fireworks? [HMM] Are they here?
[Teens these days sure are wild. In Palamedes' day the hip thing to do was stare out the view screens and hope a few space rocks ran into each other... Yes, obviously fireworks can't go wrong.]
no subject
[He drums his fingers thoughtfully against the side of the mug.]
I'm sure we can find some. Or someone to make them.
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Yes. We should do this. I'll pick up any fireworks I can find; d'you know how to fire them?
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[So ostensibly yes but technically no.]
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We'll find someone who knows how to fire them. I'll make a list. You can have a party with fireworks in my field, just let me know in advance.