megatheorem: (032)
palamedes THEE sextus ([personal profile] megatheorem) wrote in [community profile] deercountry2022-04-04 12:05 am

catchall for homies

Who: Palamedes and Friends (and Other)
What: the necromantic urge to come back from the dead
When: April (various)
Where: various

Content Warnings: death talk and necromancy inevitable, all else tba

it's a catchall baby, see prompts
mehanizovati: (50)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-18 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
[this is what he knew would happen, with allen, with pal, this disregard for their own safety to help because of course. they're stalwart, they thrive on putting others before whatever's lurking in their own heads, and pal cares in a way that makes viktor's chest hurt. not even the lungs this damn time.]

I don't- I don't have enough data to promise you anything. If I just had a bit more time-

[he sucks in a breath when pal touches his jaw, it's- he can't remember anyone touching him there before. it requires a whole new understanding, different from firm hands on the shoulder, brushing against his back, the startling warmth of a hug.

and he doesn't even think before he's leaning into it a little, exhale soft as a great deal of the silver creeping up his neck retreats back, all the more around the areas pal's fingertip meets his skin. it takes all of a moment more before viktor is quickly taking pal's wrist and moving his hand away to check it, a touch panicked as he looks up but-

but no, the tether is still his shape, trying to stare back from behind pal. his eyes then go to pal's brow furrowed.]
Palamedes, you could have contaminated yourself! [he sounds a lot more like himself now, down to the way his accent thickens as it always does when he's frustrated.]
mehanizovati: (7)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-18 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Stubborn- [viktor mutters, a great many other words he'd add lost because pal's cupping his jaw properly now and like the fool he is he melts into it. his hand returns to pal's wrist but it isn't to pull him away, it's not even to try, it's simply another point of contact.

the silver recedes back down to his collar, only peeking out on the other side of his face. viktor keeps his eyes closed for a moment and swallows, focuses on the shape of pal's hand against him. it feels like missing something he's never actually had- it feels like he should pull away rather than feed on pal's warmth like a parasite, regardless of how freely given it might be. it feels a bit like planting his feet and taking what he can get because high risk, high reward, right? like pal said.

his thumb runs down pal's wrist without thinking about it a sigh as he finally opens his eyes. pal saying what he says, being enough, has a visible reaction too, the silver still peeking out from his collar on the other side shrinking back.]


Fine, you win. [he says after a beat, torn somewhere between unease and gratitude so profound he's afraid to dissect it. he offers a helpless, wane smile, more to the fact he imagines pal and his tenacity winning many battles this way, simply by being so set on his goal.] Let's... go home.
mehanizovati: (71)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-18 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
That is what a hopelessly stubborn person would claim. [viktor answers, not quite the dry he usually aims for, somewhere between tired and fond.

his sense returning properly demand he address all this, categorize what is happening into something he can understand. maybe it can be simple enough- pal is determined and it's only natural to try to reach out and touch what one needs to reaffirm. that viktor feels such a pang of loss when pal pulls his hand away is a weakness of the self or... or an effect of his current, uncertain condition. the way he just brushes viktor's hair back like that helps temper the loss in some odd exchange.

he's not a completely dense fool though, and he can recognize when he makes the pointed choice to take pal's hand with his own.]


It's been that long? [he sounds contrite, time got away from him rather quickly. probably more so for pointedly ignoring the messages he knows pal sent, which with pal's palm warm against his seems particularly absurd even in his quest to keep him at arm's length. he frankly can't say it isn't his own brand of stubbornness in the end rather than some spooky tether, one that holds its own hand out as if it too holds pal's hand.

viktor pulls pal closer to his own side with a bit of a glower at the thing, expression softening only when he glances back over. apologetic.]
Ah... well I owe you dinner then, at the very least. Does the Sixth have the concept of comfort food?
mehanizovati: (18)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-18 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven't even started. Reckless, bull-headed- [viktor answers back, all very normal except for the fact his fingers tremble a bit as he holds up his free hand to count them off.] - ridiculous.

[sweet, is another and he's not going to say it even if he thinks it. maybe it's implied in how he trails off. he follows without complaint, eyes ahead instead of to the mimic that follows in a mockery of his own limping gait, as if it leans on a crutch that isn't even there. it's easier to ignore it and focus on pal's hand in his, or watching him from the corner of his eye as they move and pal fusses.

there's a few things on the tip of his tongue. i can take care of myself is a classic, one he's used on jayce and even sky several times over, a good way to scare off well meaning concern. i'm fine is a standby for many in this place, he'd imagine, pal included. pal especially, maybe, if he's lived by himself in his quiet little bunker meant for two people this long. that one never flies anyway regardless of who says it, not in a place where no one is really fine at any point without a lot of compartmentalizing and a splash of denial.]


No. [he settles for the truth, because he doesn't really remember when he last ate in the mad rush of things and he has the distinct feeling the moonlight is the only reason he doesn't feel markedly worse for that fact.] You can... you can subject me to what you've been forced to make for yourself. A fitting punishment.

[again, at least an attempt at dry. they're still just casually holding hands and that is something he can't remember ever doing before outside of being a child. even jayce and all his tendency to physical affection would lead him by the elbow at best. he thinks he should find this childish but his grip tightens regardless as they get closer to home.]
mehanizovati: (10)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-18 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Mhm, quite bull-headed. That's really the one that sticks out? [is the answer, though he's quick to grimace a little at the real crime- leaving on read. talk about rude. he knows he would have been climbing up a wall of pal did the same to him, which... really, goes to show he can't call pal all this without being a bit hypocritical.]

I am sorry about that. [he tries, and hence accepting food as the ultimate punishment apparently. or at least offering an attempt to reign in his own stubbornness and conceding that pal can and is going to help. the second he sees any hint of the tether shifting to pal he'd panic, of course, but for now...

in some ways it feels like a blink and they're there, plopped on the couch as his double sits across from him on nothing like an absurd, unnerving mime. losing pal's touch doesn't immediately bring any silver back, it isn't until he focuses on staring at his mimic that it starts to creep up again like a punishment for the world's most unsettling staredown.

he lets go of his crutch where he had been holding it tightly, letting it rest against the nearby wall to take the sandwich.]
I have notes, somewhere... observations. They can move through solid matter to stay with their target, they will break their mimicry in small ways to course correct and remain in eyeshot if possible. Any harm done to them is reflected on the user, they repel water and presumably other liquids.

[eat the sandwich pal slaved over a hot bottle of jam for. he does take a bite, and some of that silver that creeped back up recedes with the fact pal make food for him, of all the stupid little things.

he's slowly chewing his first bite and regarding the sandwich like it holds some mystery, because it does, in a way. of all the things they've done, of all the little moments and vocal affirmations, this is the one that finally strikes something in him. maybe it's the undercity in him, food and offering it always had a different connotation when food was largely scarce. maybe it's being too worn down for mental gymnastics, maybe it's a lot of things but when he glances at pal he finally thinks back to pal cupping his jaw and what the next logical step often was with such an action.

oh.

his eyes go back to the sandwich, heart rate picking up but not exactly surprised. oh. he closes his eyes and struggles with what happened with information like this. he didn't get 'crushes,' he could recognize when someone was attractive and appreciate that fact, he could understand the lure of wanting to spend time with someone for their personality but a draw that comes from such a deeply vulnerable place is-

he takes another bite of his sandwich like a stalling tactic. pal got him fruit he never tried before the first time he came over, and he wonders if that isn't where this started. the talks before even? their ridiculous little heist that holds a special place in his heart.]


T-thank you. [he does manage eventually, trying to go with compartmentalizing as a tactic to deal with the sudden onslaught of information and everything he currently needs to re-establish ie their interactions. he needs charts for this.

what this does on a tether is probably a bit odd, a sort of faded quality to some of it's edges but a sharpness in other areas. a rollercoaster one way or another.]
mehanizovati: (30)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
[viktor snorts softly, does as he's told and takes another few bites- wonderful, if he looks too long he thinks of things like how he can see pal's eyes better this close, the shade of them, how the little, constant motions draw his eyes-

no. another bite. a crooked smile, weak but present as he answers,]
I may have gotten annoyed and given it a little whack. Just earned a bump on the arm for my trouble.

[he should have just messaged pal then, he accepts that much. he's still a bit unsure about this but thus far they're safe, the tether hasn't grown teeth or reattached or... whatever it does. annoy him personally, he thinks. corrupt him, more likely. that did seem to be a running theme, and he quells a spike of nerves at the thought of turning into something that could hurt pal.

no, that won't help things. he knows enough about corruption to know it's just make things worse.

he does a good job of burying it along with several pal related thoughts, up until pal's touching him again. he looks over with a touch of surprise, cursing whatever damn god or pthumerian is making this happen because really, pal keeps looking at him like that and viktor can't see how the silver just keeps receding the more he's touched, the more he reads such a sincere concern in pal's gaze it aches.]


Fine- better. Ah- [he scrambles for something, glancing over to where the tether seems more and more faded out, a lingering shadow rather than a solid threat.] So... touch is the key to this? It's diminishing based off your- based off contact, it seems.

Wonderful, if that's the case I really did make quite an ass of myself running off. [he's not blushing about any of this, you are. he can handle being touched by his newfound infatuation. god, why couldn't it be simple attraction? that is so much easier, it's all the tangle of feelings involved that have him scrambling on what to do. attraction he could just accept then dismiss, maybe make an offer if he's feeling bold and accept whatever outcome came from it.

this? it shouldn't be anymore complicated but it truly is.]
mehanizovati: (17)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
[viktor's brow quirks, a moment to consider how pal might have finished that sentence and reaching-] Going to fight someone?

[that should be said with humor but he damns himself, his tone going soft. (the tether shuddering minutely, lesser.) he doesn't know how to thank something like that other than making an earnest effort to finish off half of the sandwich, which he does after a few more bites. he can't say he has much of an appetite but it helps regardless to get some food down. he can't bring himself to focus on it any longer when pal is still touching him and he's trying not to shiver and give himself away.

he wonders if there is an ethical issue here, should he say 'you are touching someone who just realized he very much could kiss you right now, does that change your comfort with the situation?' just check it off like a list of requirements for said touching to even be allowed. it probably made their living together questionable too, which really, his own damn feelings couldn't let him have any nice things?

a shame they couldn't be switched off like a well oiled machine, which is a passing thought that might be a harbinger for troubles to come, though here it's met with a humorless smile as he places the other half of the sandwich to the side.]


I hope you understand I wasn't- it was not a matter of trust. Foolishness, yes, but I simply did not wish to subject you to any of it. You... you deserve better.

[he can't even sound awkward, just a little resigned, a soft chuckle at pal's insistence. he pulls off another piece of it at least, trying not to be too obvious in how he leans back into pal's hand.] Morose nonsense. Regrets for a world I am not longer a part of. [he tries to dismiss.] The only use for those failures is to learn better for our time here, not living out the same pointless tragedies again and again.

Eh, sorry... I think despite knowing better I still struggle with putting a firm line between this life and where I was before. I'm sure all sleepers do at some point.
mehanizovati: (58)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ah, there's another of his undercity roots coming to play, that willingness to fight for someone you cared for. he's never cared for violence, avoided it as far as he could manage but he can recognize the care that comes with it. what it is to have someone you snarl and bear your teeth for. to be the subject of that is a little novel, hits him in the chest again like an unrelenting series of blows pal keeps piling on simply by caring the way he does.

he can't bring himself to do more than focus on the piece of sandwich in his hand, letting the warmth of pal's fingers ease some deep ache rather than feed into how much he is allowed to enjoy that. the silver has vanished from anywhere visible now, perhaps off his skin entirely. he still feels a faint chill down his back, under his makeshift brace, but it too is receding to a gentle warmth.]


... I'll say something, next time. [because there will probably be a next time, one way or another. he turns his head to regard pal.] If you'll let me have your back as well. Equivalent exchange.

[incredible bullshit, though the sentiment in general is there and strong. strong enough he even gives into sentiment to say,] I'd have it anyway, whether you agree or not. But an agreement would make things easier.

[a glance to the tether and he can see it all but crumbled where it sits, a state of decay without the actual rot, a little on the nose given the state of his life but he choses to see it as the dying of something he's needed to cut out of himself anyway. the way it's faded now makes it difficult to tell who it's staring at anymore, and when viktor raises a hand it follows shakily.]

In truth it's for the best, I think. To let go of everything of our old worlds would be denying ourselves something integral. When I moved to Piltover it would have been easier to do that, let go of everything the undercity made of me, but I would have been greatly lesser for.

[he moves his raised hand to rest on pal's arm, around his elbow, the one still at his neck. he watches his tether touch something that isn't there and feels the oddest sympathy for the briefest moments before his attention and gaze turns to pal again.] For what it's worth I'd sneak you any books you'd like, if you were locked up for such crimes. [more for what it's worth he's glad pal lets himself be who he is, regrets and all.]
mehanizovati: (22)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
[the grin on pal has viktor's lips quirking, and really, all this makes him feel more the fool for running off. maybe he should learn a valuable lesson about asking for help or keeping people in the loop rather than, you know, passing out bleeding over hexcores or considering taking dangerous drugs and doing dangerous magic. or running off to the docks.

well, he's learned something at least. he doesn't think he'll leave pal on read again, so that's a start.

he's happy to settle back with a sigh, keeping his hand on pal's arm for the moment, using the last of the tether as his excuse despite knowing better now. the chill is gone, he thinks if he checked there wouldn't be a scrap of silver on him. he focuses on pal's words instead of that glaring fact.]


I know. [morose but sometimes even morose things were very much true.] I've done as much already here, grand plans to make better on mistakes I've made, pretending the ugly bits of them are now easy to locate and conquer with perspective and logic.

And yet I still ran off again to the docks rather than accept the chance of hurting people is simply a part of companionship. The eh... the character growth could use a little work.

[he offers a faint smile, and with it the tether fades entirely. viktor glances to where it was, swallowing but keeping his hand against pal's elbow for just a beat too long before he reluctantly pulls it away.]
mehanizovati: (22)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
[there is something comforting in this worn out space, the walls lowered enough he can even ignore the twisting feelings he has about finding himself wanting to touch pal's jaw the way pal did him. it's an easy place to be an ear, or a nod, an understanding without the baggage of vulnerability.

he's no longer cold down to his bones, and he can just nod to that, curling a little so he can face pal better, shifting to find a spot that doesn't have either brace digging in.]


The cruelest aspect of this place is the understanding even when we wake up of our new reality, that... knowing deep down. We deserve the chance to thrash against it, to try and shape it around until it slots naturally. I wouldn't call it arrogance so much as rebellion, the right to react irrationally against all this blasted rationality and change.

Hm... though maybe that's just the messy humanity in me. [he closes his eyes a moment, a little surprised at how comfortable he is when typically his body is a myriad of aches.] I want so badly to do good here. Do you think it's possible, in so nebulous a place?

[of course pal claiming a victory makes him chuckle and open his eyes again. oh if only he had jayce's bravery with all the casual touch, he wants to reach over and squeeze his shoulder or just... anything.

instead he offers,]
Thank you. Really. I don't think I would have lasted much longer.
mehanizovati: (53)

[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
Hm, that is true. It is a trait I admire about you. [viktor says honestly, no real intention to flatter just... he does. it is an admirable trait that should be commended, in his mind.] But it is a maddening thing, no doubt. Sometimes I feel the deeper you look here the more twisted the road goes. Too many worlds and realities with too many sets of rules suddenly thrust together, many of them retaining echoes of those rules as far as they will fit.

[maybe that is why everything is so unstable. but yes, in a way it breaks his heart to imagine the time after camilla left and pal stuck without even the small comfort understanding what it all really meant. just there and gone, human formed than a squid in the ocean- than a squid himself. why any of it, why called here, what purpose.

it really is a maddening road to go down, one he lets drift to snort softly at the knee bumping his thigh.]


I am very much so, or at least passive. It was my greatest sin back home, playing by their rules and hoping I'd one day be let off my leash. ... ha, waiting for permission to change the world.

[at least that is a lesson he's trying to learn well, though he's aware the next extreme of being too active and meddling where he should not is a distinct possibility. he'd rather lean towards that than being passive again, ever again. just as back home all he needs is time.

of course pal is spreading his arms like that and viktor... well, he's too tired to start wondering if he's somehow an evil creature for hugging someone he's very much developing feelings for without their knowing. meaning he can be perfectly platonic about this, he can, only that beat of hesitation before he shifts so he can wrap around pal.

well. maybe purely platonic is impossible, but it can just be a rush of gratitude as he holds him, a rattling sigh like the last of the ice dissipating with it.

he's going to need to tell him, to say something, maybe when they have both had time to rest and emotions aren't running so high. he can't keep being passive in his own life, in his work, he promised himself that and it pertains to here too. the worst that could happen is hurting, and they all already hurt plenty, for far worse reasons.]
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[personal profile] mehanizovati 2022-04-19 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
So be it. [viktor repeats with a one shouldered shrug, because that really was it. so be it, this was where they landed.] Our research is promising regardless, and every dead end is just another possibility to cross off the list and narrow it ever down.

When you're feeling particularly generous you can even call it exciting. [a touch dry but not entirely untrue, he thinks. there is something to standing at the start of some great understanding, when the possibilities still feel endless. it wears you down quickly but it has its moments.

with the hug over viktor offers a crooked sort of smile, a final squeeze of pal's arm with his hand before he's flopping back again. maybe before he'd make some kind of joke, about never being much of a hugger before pal, but there's too much rolling in his mind about that for it to feel appropriate.]


No fundraisers, no galas, no council breathing down our necks- maybe we actually are in the superior world. [a joke. sort of. sort of a joke. he'll admit, he does miss funding, that was nice when they actually got their hands on it.] No... Oversight Body, was it?

It does put a lot more responsibility on not pushing where we should not, I suppose.

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