That is true, we may be the super villains here, depending on how much morality cares about the theft of a chalkboard and several hundred pens. [all a joke because again, no one here is one day going to probably be making actual heists of piltover labs and having robot goons and what not. just a fun hypothetical don't worry about it.
what will make him go into a proper villain arc is hearing that metallurgy pun, head thumping down against pal's shoulder as he makes sure his sigh can be felt through both their bodies before he lifts his head again.]
Language might have been a mistake. [he leans down for a kiss, which may be partially to stop any more puns but actually is because pal's got his fingers in his hair and looks less grim and he simply can't help himself.] I'll hammer that point home.
[stop.] Though these aren't matters to screw around with, it's serious work. [it's not stopping, though he closes his eyes like he's been defeated.] What have I become... Let us stick to bad bone puns.
i'm officially apologizing for writing a pun that my father has printed on a tshirt
Several hundred is a gross exaggeration. Unless we're speaking in the long term, in which case: maybe. [But hmm, all very funny, and Viktor's most world-weary sigh ever makes Palamedes grin over his shoulder with smug satisfaction. He's still grinning when Viktor looks at him properly again, and grins into the kiss, and good god, more puns? This is only going to encourage him.]
You're a poet, [he says, again very serious, and pulls up for another kiss, the reward for playing in the bit with him.] Bone puns aren't necessarily bad.
[Is he going to. Should he. He purses his lips and glances away at nothing in particular, which should be the first red flag, but oh: he is going to do it.]
One day I am going to request you line up all the pens you have hoarded from the Trench alone and then we will see about that. [foolishly he is mostly joking, it will probably be way more pens than he's assuming and he'll find that endearing because he's a criminal apparently.
there's a moment viktor just stares at him, waiting it out, thinking that maybe pal will see reason and not say whatever is happening in his head there. maybe he'll just allow them mercy, even if the reward kiss was compelling.
when pal glances away viktor's brow raises, at least somewhat prepared when the blow is made. oh the sigh he gives. it has no fondness in it, don't listen too close.]
I think I am going to keep your mouth occupied for the rest of the evening so I am not subjected to anymore of this suffering. [he can only handle so many puns, he is weak. and to make good on that promise (threat?) he leans in to kiss pal soundly and languidly, as though maybe he can chase any future puns straight out of his mouth, thank you.]
We'll need to do that outside, then, [he says, probably joking, although it depends on how long it takes Viktor to make this specific request. He might just have way more pens in a month or so, ahem.
In any case, that sigh guarantees Viktor has to hear about a dozen more stupid bone puns in the near future. Palamedes hopes very much that he will enjoy hearing about the necromancer-cavalier catchphrase, or: 'one flesh, one end'. It's versatile.]
Well, [Well, and he definitely attempts to get one more pun out there, but he's not going to not kiss Viktor, especially when it's as intent a kiss as this. On absolutely no level is this punishment, but they don't have to point that out; Palamedes threads his fingers through Viktor's hair again and tugs him all the way down so they can be flush against each other, humming into the kiss with definitely-not-satisfaction. He's defeated, earnestly; this is the sound he makes when he's sad he can't make more jokes.
So be it; he doesn't know what time it is, but 'the rest of the evening' is generously open to interpretation, and he intends to keep Viktor true to his word.]
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what will make him go into a proper villain arc is hearing that metallurgy pun, head thumping down against pal's shoulder as he makes sure his sigh can be felt through both their bodies before he lifts his head again.]
Language might have been a mistake. [he leans down for a kiss, which may be partially to stop any more puns but actually is because pal's got his fingers in his hair and looks less grim and he simply can't help himself.] I'll hammer that point home.
[stop.] Though these aren't matters to screw around with, it's serious work. [it's not stopping, though he closes his eyes like he's been defeated.] What have I become... Let us stick to bad bone puns.
i'm officially apologizing for writing a pun that my father has printed on a tshirt
You're a poet, [he says, again very serious, and pulls up for another kiss, the reward for playing in the bit with him.] Bone puns aren't necessarily bad.
[Is he going to. Should he. He purses his lips and glances away at nothing in particular, which should be the first red flag, but oh: he is going to do it.]
You might even say they're quite humerus.
there is no god here
there's a moment viktor just stares at him, waiting it out, thinking that maybe pal will see reason and not say whatever is happening in his head there. maybe he'll just allow them mercy, even if the reward kiss was compelling.
when pal glances away viktor's brow raises, at least somewhat prepared when the blow is made. oh the sigh he gives. it has no fondness in it, don't listen too close.]
I think I am going to keep your mouth occupied for the rest of the evening so I am not subjected to anymore of this suffering. [he can only handle so many puns, he is weak. and to make good on that promise (threat?) he leans in to kiss pal soundly and languidly, as though maybe he can chase any future puns straight out of his mouth, thank you.]
puns wrapped this thread in the lord's name
In any case, that sigh guarantees Viktor has to hear about a dozen more stupid bone puns in the near future. Palamedes hopes very much that he will enjoy hearing about the necromancer-cavalier catchphrase, or: 'one flesh, one end'. It's versatile.]
Well, [Well, and he definitely attempts to get one more pun out there, but he's not going to not kiss Viktor, especially when it's as intent a kiss as this. On absolutely no level is this punishment, but they don't have to point that out; Palamedes threads his fingers through Viktor's hair again and tugs him all the way down so they can be flush against each other, humming into the kiss with definitely-not-satisfaction. He's defeated, earnestly; this is the sound he makes when he's sad he can't make more jokes.
So be it; he doesn't know what time it is, but 'the rest of the evening' is generously open to interpretation, and he intends to keep Viktor true to his word.]