you're not my homeland anymore

[dohaeris]

Who: sansa and her crs
What: catchall for non-event logs. mostly she wants to tell some friends her name. also for some prompts that are simply too long for the event post
When: early april, broadly. late april for sibling-based event prompts
Where: her house (or wherever windows into the world of ice and fire can be found)

Content Warnings: canon-typical violence. character warnings in her app. uhhhh spoilers for asoiaf as if her canonpoint wasn't enough


[starters in the comments I just really wanted to use the taylor swift lyrics for this]

Comments

[dohaeris]

[sansa's mouth twists fondly. she wonders if sasuke is like this with all his students.]

Lord Sasuke.

[she walks through the door and into the house, lady padding at her heels. she pauses.]

I wanted to talk to you about that. [she draws a breath, watching his face carefully.] Alayne Stone is a false name I've been hiding under for some time. The people who murdered my family put a bounty on my head. My true name is Sansa Stark.

[she exhales.]

I never meant to lie to you.

[retsuden]

[ It's a lot to take in all at once; not because of her name, he could care less about names, but the reasonings behind it. The people who murdered my family put a bounty on my head. It makes him stare at her, swallowing roughly, because wow has he never related to anyone so hard with a single sentence in his entire fucking life. Save for maybe Naruto, and even then.

He should say something. Anything. ]

Oh. [ Maybe something more than that?? ] It's fine. Sansa.

[ It comes out much smoother in his accent than Alayne ever would have. He goes to slide the door shut now that his brain is starting to catch up to his body again before going to the stove to put some water on for tea. It feels appropriate. ]

I'm sorry. About your family.

[dohaeris]

[it's nice to hear the people she cares about say her name. and it's very nice to hear their condolences. she smiles at him gratefully.]

Thank you.

[and she walks further in, vaguely in his direction. lady follows her.]

They would have liked you, I think.

[actually,]

My brother Jon, the one that's still alive, he was always training. He was determined to be the best swordsman in Winterfell. He could say any stupid thing and look perfectly serious, so you'd believe him. And he never cut his hair.

[she grins.]

I think the two of you would get along.

[retsuden]

[ There's the faintest smile at the idea of someone's family liking him, still not entirely used to the concept of anyone finding him likeable to begin with. It makes a little more sense as to why she thinks so when she describes her living brother, though, and he gives a soft snort. A part of it is that he's glad to know she still has a living one, someone who can share the burden of losing so many, wondering if maybe that makes it easier. ]

Sounds like it. Though I do cut my hair. [ ... Sometimes...

He goes to scoop some matcha into a teapot, staring at it rather than her because he's always been awkward talking about any kind of family matters. ]

My older brother didn't, though. He used to tie it out of his face and it would hang almost all the way down his back.

[dohaeris]

[sansa comes to stand a short distance away from him, and gives a gentle laugh. lady yawns and finds a warm corner of the kitchen to curl up in.]

My father used to tie back his hair. It was common enough in the North. I suppose it was only that Jon seemed to disappear every time he was meant to have his hair cut. I can't imagine how long it's gotten since he's been at the Wall.

[retsuden]

The Wall?

[ Sasuke finally glances up from the tea preparation to look at her. Curiosity about her home is a lot easier to handle, apparently. ]

[dohaeris]

Oh! Yes, at the northern border of our lands. It's made of ice. The Night's Watch guards it.

[she beams with pride.]

He's Lord Commander now.

[retsuden]

[ He doesn't know what a Lord Commander is, but she says it with the kind of tone someone usually announces their relative being a jonin level ninja with, so he assumes it's probably something of similar impressive standing.

He glances at the water to see if it's boiling. It isn't. Why is this the longest part of tea? ]

You must miss him.

[dohaeris]

[she smiles softly.]

I miss all of them.

[there's something brittle here. she doesn't want to press him, and risk breaking it.]

It was easier to be Alayne, and not have anyone to miss.

[retsuden]

[ He nods, his eyes still on the water, which finally have the proper sized bubbles in them for him to remove it from the stove and pour it into the tea pot to let the leaves steep. ]

Mm. I understand.

[ The words are quiet, and it seems like he might just leave it at that when he sets the pot down. ]

... I never changed my name, but after my clan was killed, I... eventually tried to cut ties with the past to alleviate the pain. [ A toned down version of events, to the say the least, but it's something. ] I don't know that anything keeps it at bay forever, though.

[dohaeris]

[sansa's mouth twists, her eyes resting on the pot. she is genuinely interested in the powdered tea.]

I don't want to forget my family, or Winterfell.

[it feels almost like littlefinger had been trying to take even her memory of them away from her. she...still doesn't think that's what he meant to do, exactly, but it flares hot in her chest all the same.]

My enemies took everything from me, but they can't have my memories. I think I would rather have the pain than lose them.

[retsuden]

[ He nods again. That seems like a reasonable stance to take. Sasuke isn't sure whether or not he'd like to forget; a part of him thinks maybe the parts he hates about himself would disappear if the pain did too.

He grabs a whisk, going to start to swirl the tea in the bowl. It's not... the easiest thing to do with only one hand, but he's trying his hardest here. ]

My sensei used to say the same thing about the memories of those he lost. I think he was as protective of the past as he was of whoever he was fighting with in the present.

[dohaeris]

[sansa allows herself a small snort of laughter.]

The North remembers.

[she watches him whisk with interest. by way of explanation:]

My people are known to be stubborn. It sounds as if your sensei might be at home in our lands.

[she pauses, smiling, and thinks about how she met sasuke in the first place.]

Our sigil is the direwolf. I wasn't allowed to wear it, before.

[there are little wolf faces carved into each end of the collar of her leather armor that weren't there before. they are hard to see from any kind of distance away, but she's thinking of filling them with pale bloodstone eventually, once she's better at details.]

[retsuden]

[ Sasuke watches the tea froth around the whisk, clearly waiting for a specific look to them before he finally stop. He taps the excess liquid off of the whisk before carefully placing it to the side.

Grabbing two matcha mugs from the shelf, he places them down, pouring an equal amount of tea into each. He goes to hand one to her. ]

Drink before the leaves can settle at the bottom.

[ He has yet to meet a non-Japanese person here who has actually had matcha before, the instructions are automatic. ]

Why couldn't you wear your sigil?

[dohaeris]

[sansa accepts the mug with both hands.]

Oh, I was hiding.

[she smiles at the tip--she is new, even, to tea as a plant--and takes a careful sip. it tastes a bit like nettle tea, but with a brightness that is entirely new. she's not sure if it would be polite to ask for unoffered honey.]

Before that, I was a hostage. I had to pretend to be loyal to the king that murdered my father and our household while they waged war against my mother and brother. I got away when he was killed, but the queen regent thought I had something to do with it--as if I could ever do anything in that place. That's why she put the bounty on my head.

[she takes another sip and contemplates her next step. she told adaine a little bit about littlefinger, for context. she doesn't have any reason to tell sasuke anything about the vale.]

They had traitors murder my mother and brothers and steal our home. There was nowhere for me to go. Not for a Stark of Winterfell.

[she takes another sip of tea, and draws a breath.]

Alayne Stone's sigil was a mockingbird.

[retsuden]

[ Sasuke frowns slightly as he stares at the tea in his cup while he listens. The story is far from pleasant and he hates that such a thing had to happen to someone who has been as kind a person as Sansa.

He also knows that there's no use in feeling pity for someone for their past. It doesn't help and if anything makes him feel that much angrier about it when such a sentiment is extended his way. ]

The Uchiha sigil had two meanings. It's meant to look like a paper fan, as that's what our surname means. The red on top was also meant to symbolize fire, as it's my clan's chakra specialty, and paper fans encourage flame. [ He gives a small smile, shrugging. ] It isn't very deep, I suppose, but it's easy to recreate at least.

[ There's a beat before he has to ask: ] What's a mockingbird?

[dohaeris]

[sansa smiles faintly to hear him explain his sigil, and sips her tea. it's nice that it has a story. she had never bothered to wonder why they were wolves. she knows some of the newer houses do have stories behind their sigils, and wonders if the starks' was simply lost to time. there was no bran the signpainter or bran the bannermaker; perhaps one of the queens of winter had chosen it.

she never actually saw a mockingbird, in the vale or otherwise. her tone is a little mocking itself.]

It's a little bird that mimics the calls of other birds. I suppose it's fitting.

[littlefinger made it fit her. he was the one who got them sent to king's landing in the first place, where she had to become a liar. she sips her tea and sighs.]

Alayne Stone wasn't just a well-mannered dressmaker from the Vale--I wish she was. A man was hiding me, and I had to pretend to be his daughter. He was very proud of how he could lie to everyone. The mockingbird was his sigil. He chose it himself. It was like he wanted to tell everybody he couldn't be trusted, and then make them trust him anyway, with their money or their land. I suppose it made him feel clever.

[she takes another, sullen sip of tea.]