deercountry | faceless man counting crumpled bills // OPEN

She'd managed mind-reading and dream-walking. Now she had to check hallucinations off of her list, but that was the one she least looked forward to using. It seemed like cruelty for the sake of it with very little room for the barest of possible benefits. But if she didn't use it, there was a strong chance it would use her without her permission.

I think so, too. Though, I do have to wonder what someone from my time has to offer anyone.

Slowly, but surely. The horns were slowly retracting and the coarse dog hair was slowly starting to give way]

Yes. So many did.

Ooh. Right. Luz was not in the know about hallucinations, but she would have likely told Rose to be careful there. How would you know what was real and what was fabricated?

Over the years, I'd say life gets pretty complicated. Not in the field of race, orientation and sex, mind you, those have gotten at least a little better. But people have found ways to alienate themselves with the advancement of technology. Wisdom from earlier times would probably help.

That was her way of thinking about it, anyway.

It sounds awful. Hope you never have to see something like that here.

Goodness knows in Deerington, October would have rivaled anything on the Titanic by a substantial amount].

And then there were the premonitions. Another she's living in dread of it kicking in. She keeps hoping that maybe she'll be spared that much, after all she'd realized that the Titanic didn't have enough life boats for everyone aboard before anything happened. Isn't that a premonition enough?

Hmm. I assume that hand-written letters have gone out of fashion since they're not available here.

Which seems a shame. Valentine's Day cards are probably gone, too, since she saw nothing of the sort.

I desperately hope so. I can be brave, but it's easier with company.

Perhaps so. After all, October is an entire month. The sinking of the Titanic only took a couple of hours. But that hadn't been the worst part, the worst part had been being surrounded by scores of the dead and dying, hearing their screams. Deafening at first, then fewer and further between.

Luz didn't know about premonitions, but she certainly figured it was a lot to take in. Rose was going to have to master those in due time, and was going to have it's own weight on her. She hoped it wasn't too cruel.

I never found out, honestly. When you can use the network for things, letters are kind of obsolete.

Luz was still a kid of her time, and letters definitely seemed like a thing of the past.

Oh, preaching to the choir, sister! Most things are much easier to deal with when you have people.

She didn't used to think so, but over time that changed!

How bad was October? Bad enough that Luz didn't even want to think about it around Rose. Those horrors were better left unsaid and not thought about.

So did Rose, but she wasn't sure if she could be that fortunate. But who knew, maybe her luck would turn around? Other than this. This was very much an exception. She never wanted this to happen again if she could at all help it.

Really? That's a shame. I used to love to write letters, to practice my calligraphy if nothing else.

Most of the time, they weren't letters which were to be sent. They were letters to Mr. Darcy and Rochester. But none to Heathcliff, he seemed abominably cruel even though most of the girls she knew were crazy about him.

They really are. I hadn't known how important they would be.

Which was putting it mildly. She'd suspected life would be easier with people who understood and had gotten a heady taste of it with Jack. Now the only thing which would make things better would be this place and Jack.

Better to be surprised, even if were an unpleasant one.

Luz hoped that beasthood wouldn't come so easily following this. There was far too much misfortune happening already. Corruption being so rife wasn't going to help anyone.

Ooh, calligraphy? Could you teach me that someday? It looks so elegant and pretty!

Esay Luz, easy! She scolded herself slightly. Rose was still dealing with her own corruption! She wasn't going to be able to teach you this kind of stuff right now!

I should have made sure you knew how important that was. I'm sorry!

Really Luz, you were RIGHT HERE helping. Obviously she knew that she wasn't alone. But leave it to Luz to blame herself for things that couldn't be helped.

At least Rose was starting to gain more of herself as they "talked."

You're looking better now!

She never knew how quick it could be. She hadn't even felt corrupted when the not-her had taken her over and turned her into this. And now she knew why people were so afraid of beasts. She was afraid of herself.

Yes, if you're interested? If it's true that there's no use of it here, but want to learn it anyway, I'll teach you.

Maybe not, but it gave her a goal to strive towards.

It's not your fault.

A common enough thing, traversing time and space into making people feel guilty about things they couldn't help. She sometimes felt guilty when she bought more than one container of smoked sturgeon at the fishmonger's.

She was. The horns had retreated further and now the eyes were unmistakable.

Good, I'm glad. Thank you so much.

It was a surprise to Luz too, and a disturbing one. She hated that it had descended on Rose before she even had time to truly settle in Trench, or at all. Considering what she had been through, she honestly didn't deserve any of this.

Thanks, I'd appreciate that! It's sort of become a lost art in my time, looked at as frivolous, but I say there's something admirable and refined about calligraphy!

Luz is an odd one, and doesn't mind this at all.

But its important! In this place, you really need all the help you can possibly get. Believe me, it helps.

Really, they needed to give themselves a break.

Of course, Rose. I'm glad we're friends. It reminds me of why I can stand being here.

She was still getting used to life in the whichever century this was, it was true. She'd found a house she liked and had moved in her few meager belongings, but she still wasn't entirely used to cooking and cleaning for herself, as awful as that would have sounded. And she hadn't had time to be retraumatized by the river in March and the blasted door showing up out of nowhere, she'd been too busy surviving and helping someone else do the same.

It is beautiful and it makes invitations and letters and even little things like recipe cards look so much nicer.

Not that she actually has recipe cards. But she's seen them before.

I'm not entirely used to relying on others. Back home, I'd mostly had only myself to rely on, though I had Jack for a handful of days.

They did. She wanted to be strong enough to be on her own, but she feared that would come at the consequence of being alone again.

I wish I could cry. But I feel the same way about you.

Good grief. It was so much. TOO much. Luz had always thought that the way this place just threw things at people were too cruel and awful that they could be managed without feeling like you were going a little crazy.

She really should have pondered about how much SHE had been able to take, having had to deal with the town before this one.

I know! I have to admit I'm a bit of a nerd for art though, so I'm biased!

Luz will help her find recipes, or at least direct her to Snow White, the champion of living by yourself.

You keep mentioning Jack in your memories. What was he like?

She knew it was a memory that had pleasure and pain, but she still Rose to come back, and this might be something she needed to talk about.

It's ok. Crying will come eventually. And thanks! Believe it or not, I didn't make friends that easily back home.

She'd been used to the idea that she'd simply have to function as the human equivalent of a marionette when she thought she had no way out of marrying Cal. She'd done her best to numb her emotions, but even that wasn't enough, leading to her meeting Jack and having the life breathed back into her again.

There may be a great deal of repressed trauma.

So am I! I had so many paintings I'd bought while I was in Europe. Now all of them are at the bottom of the North Atlantic.

But she has since come to learn that "Something" Picasso had become a world-renowned artist, one who inspired generations after him. Eat that, Cal.

He was...how do I describe him? I needed someone to question me, to ask out loud the things I'd been wondering about to myself for months and he was willing to do that. At first, I thought it was because he was a poor boy who'd grown up without proper manners, but his lack of regard for proper manners was actually attractive. My society lived on proper manners to the point of being priggish and it was intolerable. He was smart and funny and kind and he was willing to do anything to make sure I lived, that I was okay.

And he was cute.

Though, she's ignoring the "anything" for now, for fear it sends it sends her back into distress.

But I hate crying. Once I start, it's hard to stop. And that's something we have in common.

And the dog-beast form contorts, but doesn't change other than losing some of the dog hair.

Luz was never going to understand how women dealt with such an unjust world back then. Nowadays she could do what she wanted and dress how she liked, and that wouldn't have happened without decades of women who had to forcibly make that happen. She thought if anyone was a testament to how strong women were, it was embodied in Rose.

And she knew that came with its own baggage.

There's always new art to find though! One thing that never stops in any world, its creating things!

At least, Luz hoped she was never in a world where that was punished.

He sounds great, Rose. I mean, the cute part IS nice, but it also sounded like he was someone you really needed at that time. He really opened some doors for you to find out what you were really all about.

True, in a typical story Luz might have been slightly outraged that a man had to show the woman how to be herself, but obviously with this Rose and Jack were both on completely different sides of a coin. She'd needed him to remind her how much better life was without all of those rules.

Sometimes its ok to have a good, long cry. It hurts, but after some time it actually feels good to get some of that pain out.

She'd be flattered, but demur, stating that she hadn't been in the streets marching for the vote (although she believed in the cause, she knew her mother would be enraged if she openly supported it). That all she really had done was refuse to marry a man she knew was wrong for her, read a few books society hadn't wanted her to read, and buy the paintings she liked.

Hardly great strides, especially after finding out how little she knew by later standards.

True. Are there artists here?

She'd think there would be, but maybe art galleries and art in general didn't mean much in a society like Trench.

I think so? Or at least he gave me the courage to openly be who I wanted to be and the chance to become her for the rest of my life. However long that may be?

Things were different then. A woman without a man was a woman without a place in the world. She'd let that get to her more than she'd like to admit but she loved Jack and he loved her. To be loved for her, not for her name or her societal connections was something she'd considered a dream on a level of sprouting wings and flying.

Maybe. I don't know if I can cry...like this.

Luz would have countered that if her mother didn't know, she'd likely be doing it herself. She couldn't help but see that rebellious spirit in Rose, the need to have autonomy after seeing so many people lose their own life. It was hard to imagine Rose as anything but a fighter.

Sure there are. Heck, you're talking to one in their spare time!

Hard to believe, right?

Well. Now that all is said and done, would you say that you're more like the person he inspired you to be, or someone that's completely different?

Luz nodded, then laid her hand on Rose's paw.

That's ok. It'll come on it own. At least you're starting to come back to you.

She would have, but there were only so many places a society girl like herself could hide in Philadelphia. It might have been different in New York, but even there everyone seemed to know what everyone else was up to. Though, she'd agree to being a fighter, she was certainly learning how to.

Really? What is it that you like to paint?

Not really! Luz was certainly very smart, oftentimes that came hand in hand with creativity.

I feel like...I'm the me I always was. He helped give me the courage to be her, with no apology.

When Luz did, Rose moved her head to rest it on her hand. Her hind legs were looking a bit less doglike.

I can do this. I can do this. We can do this.

Luz couldn't wait to see what Rose would get up to, once she really got going.

I like landscapes, but I also draw people too. I have some nice and not so nice paintings I can show you back at the house!

She thought that this might be the case. Rose had been stifling herself, and Jack was the person that eased her into the idea that she might not really need to do that anymore. But she also loved him, so Luz could imagine there was some pain in that memory too.

It was coming about slowly, and Luz, inspired, activated a small light glyph for Rose.

Concentrate on that. Maybe it will help.

She wanted to study and study and learn and research and experiment. Though, the talk of art made her wonder...she was fairly certain Trench locals wouldn't see the need for an art gallery. But that didn't mean that the need wasn't there. There had to be beauty to counter the ugliness this place could cause.

I love landscapes, I love portraits. And I can't wait to see them! It's felt like too long since I enjoyed art for its own sake.

That was pretty much the case. Jack had been afraid that if she'd married Cal, she'd let him dull her spirit. But. What if she didn't let him? And if he tried, what if she wouldn't let him succeed? It's all academic now, but she wants to think that she's strong. Stronger than she'd originally given herself credit for.

The light revealed Rose's eyes, not dog's eyes. And her lower legs were rapidly losing curly red dog fur, leaving skin in its wake. Before long, she'd do just about anything for a bathrobe.

We can do this.

Luz had not had the chance to think that they should ever make an art exhibit in Trench: she drew for fun, and sometimes for sanity, because some of the nightmares she had needed to have a physical form and worked as a little bit of therapy for her. Rose was certainly onto something though.

I'll show you whenever you come over to the house, ok? I have a few of them up in my room!

She was glad that they were at least moving into a better place. Rose certainly seemed to be moving more into her own mind and less of the beasts. What was more, it looked like the beast was slowly starting to move on from Rose, and Luz was more fixated on making sure her friend turned back that it was only now slowly dawning on her what had happened in HER case when she transformed back].

Yes we can! And when we do, I'll toss you a glyph, and you hold your breath. It'll keep you invisible long enough for me to grab you something to wear, ok?

Rose couldn't draw to save her life. But maybe that was why she gravitated towards art that was interesting, challenging, daring her to find understanding. And she'd already been here long enough to understand why someone would need an outlet for their nightmares.

That would be wonderful. I'd love to see them.

She was. She was lucid enough to be terrified of what she'd become, how fast it all had been, but she was trying to keep that terror stomped down until she could deal with it later. A clear head. A clear head was what she needed to keep now that her thoughts were hers again. And her front legs started to look more like arms, to shed hair.

Oh, thank goodness. I'd cheerfully take a burlap bag if that was all that was available.

That was fine! Rose expressed herself in plenty of other ways, ones that Luz felt a small but reserved bit of envy for. Rose may not have known it, but she wore class and grit flawlessly, with inner strength Luz couldn't but admire. That, and Luz knew Rose likely had another hobby she excelled at.

If you ever come over, I'll be sure to show them to you, ok?

[Luz was going to keep her back to talking as if she were already in that mode, because it seemed that this was where Rose wanted to be anyhow. It helped that the two of them tended to talk to each other quite a lot].

Let's hope we can get something better than that! A cloak, at least. You might be nude, but you'd look SO COOL, like a skyclad witch or a dryad!

Could you tell that Luz had an appreciation for art?

Her main hobby was learning and she had a terrific memory for what she'd read, watched, or experienced. She had a good mind for languages, too, teaching herself Spanish, French, and German by finding copies of books she'd already read in those languages and trying to reconcile the two. Now she could read (and speak) all three almost flawlessly.

That would be wonderful! I'd love to see all of them!

And it makes her wish she had one of Jack's drawings. Just one. It wouldn't have to be the one of her wearing the Heart of the Ocean and not a stitch else, one of his others would have been more than welcome.

Hmm. I think I can live with those comparisons? Yes, I think I rather like them!

Just a bit, yes, but that was endearing.

See, clearly Rose was so much smarter and cleverer than her decade would have admitted. Luz would have been super elated to know that she could speak with Rose in Spanish! Of course, Luz could speak in English just fine, but it was still nifty to know!

You will, trust me!

Having art would have just been a boon. Really.

Hey, why not try focusing on what they would look like. That might make this go much easier!

It might not, but it was worth a shot, right?

Maybe. But she knows she wants to grow old. Very old, so that maybe she can see some of the progress she's been told about first-hand. And Rose's accent was likely atrocious, but she'd love to speak Spanish with Luz any time the other young woman wanted.

Thank you!

Yes, it would. Maybe one day, this place would see fit to give her the Picassos which had been lost in the North Atlantic. She had done enough reading to find out that she was right and Cal was wrong (as usual) and Picasso was a once in a generation genius. In the meantime, who knew how many other artists were out there?

Okay...I'm picturing The Birth of Venus as inspiration. Of course my hair isn't as terrifyingly long as hers.

[Luz would be happy enough just hearing Rose make the attempt. As for growing old, well, Luz hoped that was something that Rose got to see happen for herself.

No problem!

Luz hoped she had lots of time to see as much art as she wanted. Of course, Luz also put up some select art pieces in her room that she wanted Rose to see].

Ha ha, no way! Besides, your hair is way more striking!

Rose knows enough about basic pronunciation rules to not completely mangle the language, but she didn't know anyone fluent in it during her time. French, yes. German, yes. but she didn't know why not Spanish. Had she thought about it for a while, she would have realized much of the problem on her own, but right now her mind was in flux.

And Rose wants to grow old. Positively ancient! She needs the time to squeeze in all of the living she wants to do, the things and experiences she wants. The progress she wants to help happen.

She wanted to not just see it, she wanted to display it for others to enjoy and talk about. She wanted others to feel free to express themselves, both the good and the bad, through art. So yes, she almost certainly was going to start an art gallery.

You think so? Grandmother deWitt, may her soul rot, said it made me look too Irish.

And much of the remaining dog hair was shed, the dog body slowly, painfully starting to become human again.

faceless man counting crumpled bills // OPEN

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(CW: Titanic deaths)

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(CW: PTSD?)

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html, my mortal enemy!

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(CW: racism, period prejudice)

That sounds about right

the answer is almost always racism/classism. even when it doesn't seem to be. :(

Too true

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(CW: ignorance, racial inequality, death)

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