( closed ) is anybody out there out there

[facultative]

Who: Anakin Skywalker (facultative) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (jedies)
What: Anakin's free of Maul and he thinks Obi-Wan is mad at him
When: Sometime in the second half of the month
Where: the Kenobi house for wayward Jedi

Content Warnings: n/a

[Anakin returns in much the same fashion that he had left, without any warning or sign. It's a dark day as it had been for every other day this month, but there's a lightness to his steps that had been absent for a while. It had been an indescribable feeling to have the weight of his bond with Maul lifted. He'd struggled and now he could look back and see how much he had taken without breaking. He survived and he hadn't given in. Things could be better, he could do better.

He goes into every room as if exploring, but he's really only looking for one person. When he does find him, there's no greeting or words exchanged. Anakin goes right up to him and wraps his arms around Obi-Wan. Only then does he speak, his words muffled slightly against the older man's robes.]

It's gone.

[He trusts that whatever Obi-Wans personal feelings, he wouldn't pull away right now. And then hopefully Anakin can cajole forgiveness while Obi-Wan was stuck here.]

Comments

[facultative]

[Resentment spikes and he feels this is only proving his point.]

No.

[jedies]

[ he isn't budging. ]

Am I talking to Anakin Skywalker? Or Maul?

[facultative]

That's not fair.

[jedies]

Then I fail to see how you could provide reasons to a Sith Lord and not myself.

[facultative]

I didn't know that then.

[He can't hold that against him.]

And you didn't mind.

[jedies]

I'm minding now. And I'm done with excuses. You're not a child. Palpatine fed you what you want and look where it has gotten you.

It's time for the whole truth.

[facultative]

You already have everything.

I go to him because he's the only one willing to try and then I destroy everything.

[jedies]

Try at what? Lying to you?

Are you making excuses for him even now?

[facultative]

This is why I didn't tell you!

[Even knowing what he did he still struggled with letting go of the memory of what the Chancellor meant to him.]

I can't just forget everything.

[jedies]

No one is asking you to.

What I want is the truth. All of it. Not just what I've learned or bits and pieces told by other people.

This is your chance to tell your truth. The one you claim no one listens to. The one you've deliberately held back.

[facultative]

You know I've always wanted more.

[He's been snapping back at perceived slights, but there's nothing to push back here.]

[jedies]

[ that's a start. obi-wan reins himself in a little. ]

I do. You want to be a Jedi and have a family. So you lied to the Order about your attachments.

It's fine if you want one or the other. There is no shame in leaving the Order. But you've rejected my asking every time I brought it up.

So I'll ask something different. Did you want more because you thought you were special or because you feared losing?

[facultative]

[Some days he'll chafe and want exceptions made for him, on others he remembers he came from the dirt.]

I wanted something for myself, something no one could take away.

[jedies]

And?

Did you succeed?

[facultative]

[Quietly.] No.

[jedies]

What does that tell you, Anakin?

[facultative]

[The quick answer is that they should never have bothered with him in the first place. The next answer comes slower.]

I can't stop change any more than I can stop the suns from setting.

[jedies]

[ it feels like a breakthrough. small but no less important. obi-wan places his hands on anakin's shoulders, gripping them tightly. ]

I know you feel you're alone in this, but all of us — even Jedi — fear loss. We fear losing. Fear is in the heart of us all.

[facultative]

[He looks at Obi-Wan, eyes bright with unshed tears.]

But no one else will do what I do.

[Fear doesn't drive people to murder and subjugate an entire galaxy. That was all him.]

[jedies]

No one else was in the presence for a Sith Lord that long. You held out as long as you could and then Palpatine used your fears to do the rest.

Yes, you are still culpable but you were also used.

[facultative]

He didn't-- he didn't even say anything. I thought that he wouldn't want me to be happy, but he didn't do anything.

[He wishes he could put some of the blame on someone else, but he doesn't see how. Even Maul was open about how horrible he was to him.]

[jedies]

Didn't he?

The information about the Sith. Did he volunteer that himself or did he know you were having visions of Padme?

[facultative]

He already knew when he told me. He begged me to let him help.

I swear I went to the Council after that. I told them. I didn't join him! Master Windu took some of the masters to confront him. They were going to arrest him.

...They were supposed to stop him.

[He was going to kill them, wasn't he? He'd change his mind, rush over to the Senate building and when he sees them threatening an old man, he'll snap.]

[jedies]

I believe you, Anakin.

I think Palpatine put those visions in your head. He manipulated you.

[facultative]

How? Can you really do something like that?

[This is not good for his suspicions that they were hiding something from him, but he won't think about that until later.]