[ OPEN ]

[anthropophagite]

Who: Kaneki and OPEN
What: Ken's daily life
When: beginning of the month
Where: Around Trench

Greenhouse, books and a dog
cw; possible mentions of mental issues, ptsd

[ Thanks to the Wonderkind portals last month, Kaneki was able to get some special gifts for himself> coffee plants. Of course that means the half-ghoul will do his best to grow and propagate the plants, and hopefully eventually get the beans in order to roast and make coffee. It won't be a steady flow of coffee, he doesn't think but he hopes to at least get some for himself and a couple more people.

However, Kaneki has to learn on his own a lot about plants. He never did that in his whole life but that won't intimidate him: with the many books he took from the Archives, Ken sits on the porch of his house, reading some of the books he brought that specifically talk about coffee and its plants. Nearby the house there is also glass and a plastic tarp and by the looks of it, Kaneki seems to be wanting to build a greenhouse. There are many gardening tools, however it's clear Ken is slightly confused by the whole process... it's a lot! Building a greenhouse, learning how to take care of plants, re-potting and growing... ]

... Maybe I should ask for help on the network... [ besides him, his Lamp Friend is still there, not set anywhere, but handing around Kaneki's shoulder with a flower on top of its head. Ken's own omen - a large Chinese red head centipede - seems to be playing (??? do Centipedes play? Hopefully so!) with the Bloodhound he got a couple of months ago. Said Bloodhound is incredibly destructive however, and Kaneki ends up having to keep an eye on it constantly - specially when it gets closer to the plants ]

Don't you dare...! [ Ken stares at the dog, who stares back at him, and after a small staring contest, the Hound leaves to go back to playing with the centipede.

With a big sigh, Ken places his gardening books on the ground which will work as a small podium for his Lamp Friend who is delighted to feel tall. And afterwards he reaches for another type of book, one about nightmares. Kaneki has been having a lot surprisingly (or not so surprisingly) although last month hasn't been exceptionally terrible compared to the others... still, he knows there is a big chance corruption might be making its way and Kaneki wants to avoid that at all costs, although he isn't entirely sure how. ]

Cemetery walk
cw; cannibalism, dead bodies

[ Being a ghoul in a world where blood shed can cause a lot of issues is... complicated. At least kaneki isn't the type of ghoul who'd go out and hunt others and instead relies on the already dead, although that might also be an issue, he supposes. After all, no one would like the idea of a cannibal around, right?

he is careful at least. or tries to be. As careful as one is allowed in Trench. Not wanting to be found by anyone, Kaneki visits cemeteries and morgues in the dead of night, when everyone else is presumably asleep. He sneaks there and carefully takes body parts, always avoiding heads as he still finds it really creepy to anyone's head even if it's an already dead person. Also disrespectful? Honestly, Ken has many conflicting feelings over his own nature and what it forces him to do, and found strange hard-limits on what NOT to do.

This night he heads to cemetery. He saw a small funeral there the other day and decided not to touch the dead body just yet to let people mourn, but when a ghoul is hungry, a ghoul has to eat. And that means, eventually Kaneki heads there to dig out the source of food. It's fairly easy since Kaneki is a ghoul; inhuman strength and reflexes provide him with tools to dig out the coffin, and eventually he is able to open it. Despite what Kaneki is, however, there is still much sorrow and disgust in what he has to do: when he sees the body, he a choked sound escapes his throat and a whimper follows, while Kaneki tries to hold back mixed feelings of disgust but also hunger. ] I'm sorry... [ he whispers softly and then places his hands together for a small prayer and to thank this person who passed away. Kaneki doesn't exactly believe in afterlife, but he learned this from Yomo-san and thus decided he'd do the same.

Afterwards, Kaneki places down a plastic tarp and begins - yes, he will cut the body to pieces (with way too much ease, it seems) and will wrap the pieces to carry after. And during all of this? Kaneki is crying. Because in the end, this is terrible.]

Ravenous apetite
cw; cannibalism, blood shed, violence against player-character, please read note at the end

[ This month will be particularly difficult for Ken: he is hungry. Always hungry. No matter how much he eats, he is still so hungry. He went through most of the food he kept in his house and then most of the food he could find at the morgue. Cemetery had also been raided by him, although he is certain he hasn't found all there is over there just yet. But this hunger that doesn't fade is dangerous because ghouls are dangerous.

And this hunger that doesn't fade is hell and painful, and Kaneki feels like he is dying and his body is burning from inside. No human will ever fully understand a ghoul's hunger because no human will ever feel this kind of pain in their lives: it's the kind that drives one mad almost immediately, and the kind that makes one believe that nothing can help but to bite into someone's flesh and just eat without regards for anything or anyone.

It's a scary, horrendous sort of pain and a monstrous sort of hunger.

While Kaneki tumbles through the streets of Trench, following the sweet, delicious smell of humans, he bites onto his own finger. It's obvious he is not okay, but it's also obvious he is trying hard to avoid people, trying to only move through empty alleyways and trying not to be seen by others. His Omen , a gigantic Chinese Red Head Centipede, is out hissing loudly at whoever passes by and tries to approach - it won't attack just yet, but there is a clear warning to keep away. ]

OOC

[ If you are interested in having your character be attacked by Kaneki in that last prompt, it is possible! However, Kaneki will not kill anyone; it will just be a bite. For anything more serious than a bite (which is also possible), I ask for characters to have healing abilities; I don't want to make a murder out of Kaneki. Information on Ghouls can be found HERE, specifically on their inhuman abilities, but short version is that kaneki has unnatural strength, speed, reflexes, and he is able to bite through skin like it's butter, and this means characters should be able to fight in order to push him off, otherwise reasoning with him through words might also work! if you are unsure how to make this play out, my CR MEME top-level is here and we can talk about it there, or you can add me to plurk over vilani

Comments

Cemetary Walk

[swellter]

[ Cemeteries draw the corrupted to their gates which is why Hunters often patrol the area. This night it falls to Todoroki who doesn't usually take night shifts, but after taking a week off, he's back in rotation, picking up slack.

Alone, he enters through the front gates and makes his way through the various walkways that spill all over the landscape leading to headstones and statues of every kind. Midway through his patrol of the area, he catches a sound in the air and turns toward the Northgate where a burial was held not to long ago. ]

[anthropophagite]

[ Kaneki finishes wrapping up the body parts he will be taking, and afterwards places them inside the backpack he brought along. It's not a great feeling to carry something like this across town and back to his home, but he needs to eat, and this is the best method he found that won't cause anyone being hurt.

After his bag is packed, it's time to tidy everything else around him, mainly put back the coffin in place. Whoever passes by it will know the soil was moved but it's not like Trench cemeteries aren't creepy and mysterious and weird things happen in them; hopefully whoever questions it will chalk it up to that. At least kaneki tries to cover everything slightly, so it's not that obvious - plus, it's respectful, he supposes. Grieving families don't have to be horrified at the idea that something was sniffing around their loved ones.

(even though it's true).

And one last time, kaneki presses his hands together and says "Thank you" while bowing his head towards the grave.

Sadly, he is getting better at all of this. It's not easier, but he is getting better. ]

[swellter]

Did you know them?

[ He asks from behind looking curious having walked into the unknown, unaware of what exactly he's walked into. He caught sight of the medic a ways back and drew closer, the recently upturned earth muffling his steps.

Todoroki stays a respectful distance back, breaking the silence only to make his presence known in case he was going to say more. He knows he's intruding on a private moment, but it was too late to turn back by the time he realized it. ]

[anthropophagite]

[ the voice (a familiar voice) startles him, and Kaneki almost wants to jump out of his skin when he turns to look back at Shouto with his eyes wide. He is glad it's dark, because it will be hard to tell how scared Kaneki just was for a second there.

But it seems that Shouto didn't see anything at all, and that means Kaneki can... lie.

He doesn't enjoy it. But it will save him. ]

Uhmm... I saw them around the Archives. [ a lie, a lie, a lie. It's fine, though, a lie like that won't hurt anyone, right? he quickly grabs his bag, thankful it's completely closed and everything is wrapped. ] I just though to drop by and pay my respects. [ another lie, a very ugly one. But it matches who kaneki is ]

[swellter]

[ The started look doesn't look go unnoticed nor the way he looks when he catches sight of him. He's cared, but it's dark and they're in the cemetery and he did just appear out of nowhere. It makes sense that he'd be scared. Even Kizu, asleep inside his ribcage, seems woke up enough to take note of the situation and once they verified it was the medic, she goes right back to napping, dismissing him as no one dangerous.

His brows crease at the lie, not quite so easily fooled by it, nor easy to dismiss as his reaction. ]

At night?

[ Isn't that a strange time to come by? ]

[anthropophagite]

[ kaneki really doesn't like this. he doesn't want to lie, he doesn't want to break people's trust. he doesn't want to be cruel and selfish.

But he is so scared, too ]

With no sun last month, days and nights are still a bit confusing. I'm usually awake during the night. [ that last part isn't a lie, at least. kaneki doesn't sleep very well and often spends nights awake ]

[swellter]

Oh. That must be hard for you.

[ Okay, so maybe he is THAT EASILY FOOLED! ]

The cemetery is dangerous at night. I'll escort you back so you make it out safely.

[anthropophagite]

[shouto pls

kaneki feels guilty, of course, but is also relieved it worked and the other didn't notice anything strange ]

Ah... yes, of course. Thank you. [ with bag in hand, he gently nods at Shouto, letting him lead the way, if he wishes to do so. he does at least take something from this: he really needs to be careful in the future when visiting the cemetery, and make sure he will at least find a way to be warned if someone is coming closer ]

[swellter]

[ He nods at the thank you and waits for him to pick up his bag before starting up walking side by side, leading the way. ]

Are you more tired now that you sleep during the day?

[ You know, your lie, yeah. He's contemplating the health benefits of switching your sleep schedule so drastically. ]

[anthropophagite]

[ and off Kaneki goes, following Todoroki while he is carrying a bag full of human parts. This sure is a night.

And the lie is brought up again and Kaneki's stomach twists. ][ kaneki is not lying. His sleep schedule is a mess both because of the month with no light but also due to a lot of things that prevent him from sleeping. ] I prefer to be awake during the day...

Ah- how was your last month, Todoroki-san? [ let's change the subject, yes! ]

[swellter]

[ Ah... you hit a sore spot. Eyes shifting ahead instead of his companion, he keeps walking a few steps in silence before breaking it in a more somber tone than before. ]

It... wasn't easy.

wow my html really failed there

[anthropophagite]

[ kaneki goes silent. Mostly, he doesn't want to bring up difficult situations, specially if they are still so fresh ]

I'm sorry. This place can be rather difficult. [ shouto probably knows that much better than kaneki, for sure ]

I saw nothing

[swellter]

[ He thanks you for the kindness. ]

I think it's supposed to be difficult. Why else would they trap us here?

[ Dark thoughts. They've grown darker since last he saw him. Fortunately, this is as dark as they get with his regular visits to one of the sacred trees that recently popped up. ]

[anthropophagite]

Hmm... [ kaneki glances at the ground. Honestly it's hard to know what to say because everything is pretty awful. but: ]

I don't think everything is bad. Even with the bad, there are still some good things that can happen.

perhaps it's about balancing the good and the bad.

[swellter]

[ His thoughts are in a darker place this month with his corruption levels creeping up to medium. After losing a friend, he can't seem to find the balance in all of it. ]

How do you balance death?

[anthropophagite]

[ a pause. Death?

Kaneki looks back at Shouto. A lot of people die in Trench, and Sleepers often return as squids when they do. But Kaneki is not going to say something like that.

How does one balance death? Well, kaneki doesn't. he doesn't balance anything at all. He does not accept death and he has never gotten over it. He is also surrounded by it, all the time, because of what he is, and he still has no semblance of balance in that regard either. If he did, he wouldn't have his backpack full of human remains right now. ]

It's difficult to balance such a thing. But sadly, it exists, and it's something we see, sometimes too often. [ Kaneki shakes his head ] In the end, you can ask yourself if it had a meaning. Death isn't always pointless.

[swellter]

[ In his time here, death has been a distant notion. He was in stasis whenever Trench turned into a true killing field. He never experienced it directly. Midoriya, almost turning into a beast a few months back, was the closest he got to the reality of this place. He never saw a friend die, never had one die in his arms, never cremated one.

The last part sticks with him still, handling the remains. His brother knew what to do, and afterward, his grief and guilt were so great, corruption dug its claws into him. Amaterasu's sacred trees keep it under control, but his levels haven't fallen back to their old standard, making him a little less hopeful with darker thoughts creeping in.

Kaneki's answer, when it comes, contains a hopeful note, enough to settle his mind. There was meaning to Allen's death. He saved his brother from corruption. He breathes a little lighter catching the scent of freshly turned earth in the air and a floral scent from the many bouquets that decorate the graves they pass. ]

It had meaning, at least, I think so.

[ Thank you for reminding him of it. ]

Do you deal with it a lot? Being a medic?

[anthropophagite]

[ At least it wasn't mindless death, with no reason or explanation. Kaneki ìs familiar with death and he still doesn't fully understand why it was something that had to happen.

Kaneki is good at giving others advice, terrible at taking it. Do what he says, not what he does.

But he stops, looking back at Shouto with a confused frown ]

Medic? [ what. ]

[swellter]

[ His eyes shift to his, does he find that question suspicious? Of course, not. ]

I don't know what term you go by.

[ Doctor? Nurse? Medical professional? Is he getting closer? ]

[anthropophagite]

[ kaneki looks so confused ]

I'm not.... a doctor? [ why would shouto think so???? ]

[swellter]

[ Okay, that's blunt enough. He keeps walking but shifts his eyes to him. ]

Then what are you?

[anthropophagite]

I'm just a literature student. [ well, not here. So Kaneki adds: ] Arcane Scholar. [ he is a bit useless, truth to be told. ] I know first aid and CPR, and give my blood, but that's it. [ he can't actually heal someone himself ]

Why did you think i was a doctor...?

[swellter]

... Yes.

[ And now he's trying to parse his memories of their last encounter.]

You're a warmblood. [ From what he remembers. ] I think I misunderstood your first aid training in the catacombs.

[anthropophagite]

[ right.

or not? Kaneki is still confused as to why anyone would think he is a healer, of all things ] I'm... pretty useless. I couldn't heal anyone.

[ he can only heal himself, really. But that's not because he is a healer, quite the opposite ]

[swellter]

[ A small crease of his brow. ] What about your first aid and CPR training?

[ He was able to help quite a bit with that alone on the front lines. ]