(closed)

[azurestar]

Who: Lance (azurestar) and various
What: Catchall for September.
When: During September's event and possibly the TDM.
Where: The Gate, Cellar Door, Willful Machine, River of Regrets

Content Warnings: Probably talk of ptsd, general violence, will add as needed

[This post is for closed starters with anyone who wants a thread with Lance but doesn't have a top level or open post themselves. If you'd like a thread with Lance for September's event or perhaps using some of October's TDM prompts somehow just contact me any of the following ways: spypigeon, charley#8222 on discord or PM this journal. Thanks!]

Comments

[arclightning]

[ As soon as he sees the Omni level in front of him Mako's eyes go wide, and a second later he's trying—and failing—to lean around the bulk of the horse to stop but NOPE, picture taken.

Instead he just sort of flails, rights himself, and accepts the stool and the brush with a very sulky kind of huff. ]

Remind me why we're friends?

[ ...he does set the stool down, though, so he can step up onto it with brush in hand. Lance made it look easy. He's brushed Naga before, massive thing that she is. This... can't be harder. And Bob doesn't have giant polar bear dog teeth.

Slowly, Mako reaches up, watching Bob carefully. He hovers with the brush for a moment, then lowers it and drags it along Bob's massive flank.

So far so good! ]

[azurestar]

[Lance grins mischievously and tucks his omni safely away.]

Because you love my sparkling personality~

[And he watches Mako get started on brushing Bob for a moment before heading over to pick up the horse's front leg nearby and start picking mud out of his hoof. The horse is probably the chillest in the universe and just placidly stands there as they groom him. After a moment, Lance eases back to where they started.]

Y'know. Chloe and I used to film memes on our fluids. How much you wanna bet she'd have five meme ideas ready to go the moment she saw the picture I just took of your new horse lick? [There's a pained and sorrowful edge to his voice, but it's also nice to remember the good stuff]

[arclightning]

She'd have at least seven.

[ Mako says it without even thinking, snorting quietly as he drags the brush carefully along Bob's back. Chloe would've probably given him a new nickname or something on top of it all, called him that forever just to annoy him.

It's easy to see, after a second, what Lance is doing. Mako brushes at a bit of dirt, glad the bulk of Bob's body hides his face for the most part. It hurts to think about her, and it shouldn't, because it isn't like Mako hasn't lost people over and over again. ]

And she'd probably send them one by one over a week or something. Just to be annoying.

[azurestar]

[Lance chuckles lightly as he continues to pick mud and debris out of the massive hoof. He locates a pebble caught in Bob's shoe and his tongue sticks out the side of his mouth as he works at dislodging it.

When Chloe disappeared from Deerington, he was still dealing with losing Keith, and around that time is… when he started dying more frequently. That's not a coincidence, though he'd certainly say it was. A lot of other terrible things were happening as well, as that's how it goes in Deerington, and he just… shut down. Lost the will to feel or move forward or fight as hard. And he hasn't fully connected with those feelings since, which makes this subject easier for him in a way.

He dislodges the pebble finally and lets out a breath, putting Bob's foot down and then moving to the next.] Memes were her love language, man. She gave me this Pepe painting for Christmas… or was it my birthday? Anyway, I've got it up in the loft, along with all the other meme gifts she put together over the years. So if she was sending you memes that often, you might as well tattoo your forehead with 'Chloe Approved'.

[arclightning]

That's a pretty hard tattoo to get.

[ Mako stops brushing, trying not to think about that stupid kitchen or their talk in the library or any of the hundreds of memes she sent him. It's stupid to get choked up over jokes, so he isn't going to do it. ]

You and Chloe were... really close. Right?

[azurestar]

[Lance shrugs about the tattoo. It could be henna for a prank, that might be funny. But his thoughts on that are interrupted when Mako asks him that. It feels like there's a shift of some kind, and he picks out the last of the mud on the hoof in his hands and stands to look over at Mako with a quizzical brow raised.]

Yeah, you could say that. Why?

[arclightning]

[ You could say that. Mako drags the brush over the bulk of Bob's flank, staring down at the fur. ]

Do you think she'd hate this? Getting all sentimental about her?

[azurestar]

[Well, that has him delving a bit deeper into some thoughts and feelings he'd locked away for a long time. Not enough to get him falling apart, but enough to give him pause.]

She'd act like she hates it. But… [He shakes his head as his voice dips momentarily when he thinks about what she went "home" to. Grief grips his chest and his voice goes quieter.] She'd secretly love it…

[arclightning]

...yeah.

[ Mako's voice is barely above a breath. ]

I miss her.

[azurestar]

[Suddenly, there's a lump in his throat and that vice on his ribs is cracking them and crushing his heart. He doesn't reply right away and after a pause he has to shakily turn away and wipe at his face.]

Sorry, uh- got some barn dust. Lots- lots of dust here…

[Yes, that's completely believable when he sounds like he's about to crack apart into a million pieces. He swallows and just tensely stands there trying to keep his shit together.]

[arclightning]

[ Mako can barely press on that particular bruise himself and he certainly isn't going to do the same thing to Lance, not when they're both moments from cracking. He looks away, drags the brush along Bob's fur in the exact same spot he's been brushing this whole time, and lets the moment settle with the dust in the barn. ]

She'd kick our asses for this whole conversation.

[azurestar]

[Too late, that bruise has been pressed and it's like opening the floodgates. He nods distractedly and his shoulders hunch as his hands come across his middle to grip at his elbows. A glow starts to form under his clothes, and he lets out a shuddered breath.]

I promised her… I'd save her. That I'd bring her home with me and Shiro and…

[And Allura and Keith. He swallows and tries to hold the rest of the pain back, hops off that track, but it might be fruitless. This is months and months of suppressed grief.]

A-anyway… that's why I didn't leave the dream. The lighthouses were right there, and… what if she came back somehow, y'know?

[arclightning]

You wanted to be there in case she did.

[ Mako fills in tonelessly. It's not hard to guess, the way Lance is hunching down, the pain in his voice, what he knows about Lance as a person.

He'd made a different choice, and he still isn't sure how to feel about it. ]

[azurestar]

[Lance nods. Yes, more or less that's what he wanted.]

Well, a promise is a promise.

[It felt wrong to leave without her. And admittedly, it wasn't the only reason for his hesitation.]

But also... I'm not who I used to be. [Not the person his family remembers. He lets out a shuddered breath, tries to shake it all off. Not very successfully, he's still a glow worm.] It doesn't matter, not like we can go back and change anything, right?

[arclightning]

I think it matters.

[ Mako's voice is quiet but full of feeling. He doesn't feel like himself either, not entirely. He wonders, sometimes, what Beifong would think about him if she washed up here. Would she recognize him? ]

I'm not who I used to be, either. This place... really changes you.

[azurestar]

[He's quiet for a long moment and then he lets out a shuddered breath and nods. His hands come up to slap a bit at his face and get control over his damn stupid emotions and the glow they pull out from his powers. Then he turns back around to face Mako, though he doesn't meet his eyes and looks to Bob, assessing what else he can busy his own hands with.]

…Is that why you came here? Instead of going back home, I mean.

[arclightning]

No.

[ Mako says quietly, and lets his head drop briefly against Bob's flank. ]

We tried to go home. Wu thought he couldn't abandon the Earth Kingdom if he had a choice.

It just... didn't work. Is all.

[azurestar]

[Lance watches Mako, or what he can see of him from where he's standing, brows pulled together. He gets the sense that he shouldn't pry here. The emotions he's picking up on definitely enforce that. Plus, it involves Wu and he doesn't think Mako will be open to sharing how Wu felt about it behind his back.

So Lance heads over to the other side of the horse and picks up a back hoof to start cleaning again.]

Well, you'd make a lousy prince consort anyway. Maybe if you do a good job brushing Bob, you can call yourself a stablehand instead.