deercountry | ( open ) do not stand on my grave and weep

Entry tags:

( open ) do not stand on my grave and weep

Who: Obi-Wan + You
What: Obi-Wan updating to Post Revenge of the Sith
When: May 7th
Where: Around Trench + Obi-Wan's House

Content Warnings: Possible intense discussions of grief and trauma. Mentions of genocide and mutilation.

( i. awakening — closed to immediate cr + vyng )

[ he awoke in darkness.

that is what terrified him momentarily. the darkness closed in on him, on everyone and he had to warn, he had to stop it, he had to do something. the yawning abyss stretched out and obi-wan thrust his hand forward to touch . . . something soft? like the folds of a cocoon. he grasps and pulls, the force answering his cry like the tempestuous rush of the tide —

— and it breaks, light cascading into his strange prison. he pulls himself out with a gasp, dragging himself along the floor. blearily, he blinks, taking in his surroundings before he rasps out in a voice ill-used for days. ]

W — Where?

( ii. drinks on the house )

[ after (hastily) settling affairs, obi-wan drifts around the town like a ghost. his robe is pulled over his head, leaving his gaze in shadow. not that he meets anyone’s eyes for long. listlessly, he wanders until he finds himself at a bar. before, he would have called up constantine and they would have settled themselves in a corner, drinking without judgment but mindful of each other. constantine is gone. abby is gone. all the friends he used to do such things with — quinlan, shaak ti, mace, kit . . . they’re all gone. his family. his brothers and sisters, all in the force.

gone. the absence of their bonds ache like forgotten stars. he signals for a drink with a sigh. if anyone approaches him in his melancholia, he will reply as such. ]

I’m afraid I’m not much for company at the moment. You’d be better suited elsewhere.

( iii. the sword in hand )

[ in the morning, he tries to return to routine. normalcy. he shouldn’t forgo everything simply because he is changed.

oh, but everything has changed.

he performs the exercise without the use of his saber. not everything is reliant on the edge of the blade and he had other skills to hone. every day, every minute. obi-wan may dislike a number of things, but he refuses to be anything less than perfect in all his deficiencies. and there were just so many, cluttering his head and his heart.

obi-wan wrenches himself out of his thought with a jerk of his head and in a hurried motion, draws his saber and — lava and fire burns all around them, but all he can feel is cold, cold is the touch of the dark, cold is the way that withers all and not even the hatred in anakin’s eyes changed that and obi-wan is so cold, why was this happening, how did they come to this —

— he flings his saber in a burst of pain. it soars through the air before falling to the ground, landing on soft grass. it makes no sound. obi-wan can’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears. his knees sink to the ground and he bows his head while his fingers grasp at his ears.

he can’t hear anything anymore. it’s all cold. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ariadne's taken to bringing cherry blossoms to all of the local bars and restaurants. Really, any place that could do with some brightening. She has flowers to spare and...well...who doesn't love a flower?

No one. No one doesn't love flowers.

She's going from table to table, gently dropping fresh, pink and white blossoms into some of the bowls that barkeep has put out for her. Doesn't say much. Doesn't do much more than smile at the patrons, before going on her way.

But she recognizes Obi-Wan's scent when she approaches, pausing when he speaks.]

There's no better company in the multiverse than a flower. They're fantastic listeners. Mostly because they never offer advice.

[ he manages to dredge up a smile, though it's half-hearted at best. ]

Ah, but what if flowers don't see me as pleasant company? Surely they have a right to choose.

Well, that's the miracle of flowers. They bloom anywhere they want, no matter who their neighbors are.

[Cautiously, she approaches the table, going around to the far side to give Obi-Wan plenty of space.

And she leans over, dropping two blossoms into the water.]

I talk to my flowers all the time. It really helps.

[ obi-wan lets out a non-committal hum at that, not really listening. in fact, he seems to be listening to something else. his fingers reach out to brush gently over the stem of the plant and it rustles for him. even now he is connected. even now he is adrift. even now he is cold.

he pulls his hand back. ]

I think it would prove beneficial to others, certainly.

[Someone's in a mood. Of course, he's entitled. If anyone in Trench is entitled to feel a little burned out, it's Obi-Wan Kenobi.

But she never really expected to see him so...sad.

Why is it immediately her first instinct to ask what Anakin's done this time?

Ariadne shakes her head.]

People who want to be alone rarely visit bars.

[ obi-wan shrugs. ]

People who wants drinks certainly do.

[Or people trying to avoid Skywalkers, maybe.

Ariadne folds her hands behind her back.]

I won't bother you. I was only delivering flowers. But as long as I'm here...

I just wanted to say I was sorry.

[ ah. obi-wan looks into his drink. there are no ripples here. all is still. as it would be. he's not angry or resentful. perhaps still nursing a wound of sorts. he would expect maul or someone else to take a memory from his life and use it against him. he wouldn't have expected ariadne.

perhaps that was the crux of it. ]

What are you apologizing for?

I still feel bad. About the things I said to you when I was angry with him...

[And there's a deep earnestness in her. Especially in light of the way things have shifted between her and some of the others, especially Luke.]

I thought about contacting you a few times, but I thought it might upset you. Maybe we were meant to meet like this. So I could say it in person.

[ he considers that, turning in his seat to face her. ]

I can't exorcise that for you. I am not angry. But at the same time, they were my memories. I lost my friend. I watched her die. It was a part of me.

It is . . . not an easy thing to reconcile.

[It's not easy to reconcile Anakin getting away with murder.

But two wrongs don't make a right.]

I can't undo what I did. Only try to do better.

And I welcome that.

[ he sighs, reaching for his drink. ]

Though now may not be the best time.

I'm pretty sure it's an ongoing endeavor but...

[Well, that's probably not the point.]

I can leave you alone.

[In a room filled with other people.]

[ he shakes his head. ]

No. Stay. Perhaps if you don't mind, tell me what's going in your life. You still matter to me.

["Still" matter? She mattered to him? That's...strangely flattering.

Ariadne takes a few steps closer, not quite at the table, but closer to it. Still on the other side.]

I...I'm not sure what to say.

I opened my garden. I call it "Serenity."

I did see that.

[ he takes a small sip of his drink. lets the burn chase away the cold. ]

I imagine you have plenty of visitors.

Not as many as I would like. But maybe now that the sun is back...

[She shrugs. Ariadne is nothing if not hopeful.]

Ezra sometimes likes to use it to meditate.

[ unsurprising. ]

Meditation does work best when we connect to nature.

Maybe that's why I like talking to my trees so much.

[A small, shy shrug.]

Mmm.

We used to have a beautiful garden at the Temple. The Room of a Thousand Fountains. Whenever we had the time or needed a moment to ourselves, we'd go there. We all took part in raising and caring for the plants there.

That sounds like something I'd like to see.

[Really, one of many things from his universe.]

It's probably much more impressive than Serenity.

I don't know about that. But it was unique as there was no real greenery on Coruscant. The planet didn't have place for it, which I always thought was a shame.

That does sound...kind of sad.

[She drifts a little closer to the table.]

[ sadder than it becoming the capital of an empire? he wonders. the temple was home more so than coruscant itself. and yet. ]

Sadness is what we make of it, I suppose.

I guess.

[Her hip bumps against the edge of the table.]

All things considered, I prefer to be happy. And there's a lot to be happy about, around here.

ii

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