( open ) do not stand on my grave and weep

[jedies]

Who: Obi-Wan + You
What: Obi-Wan updating to Post Revenge of the Sith
When: May 7th
Where: Around Trench + Obi-Wan's House

Content Warnings: Possible intense discussions of grief and trauma. Mentions of genocide and mutilation.

( i. awakening — closed to immediate cr + vyng )

[ he awoke in darkness.

that is what terrified him momentarily. the darkness closed in on him, on everyone and he had to warn, he had to stop it, he had to do something. the yawning abyss stretched out and obi-wan thrust his hand forward to touch . . . something soft? like the folds of a cocoon. he grasps and pulls, the force answering his cry like the tempestuous rush of the tide —

— and it breaks, light cascading into his strange prison. he pulls himself out with a gasp, dragging himself along the floor. blearily, he blinks, taking in his surroundings before he rasps out in a voice ill-used for days. ]

W — Where?

( ii. drinks on the house )

[ after (hastily) settling affairs, obi-wan drifts around the town like a ghost. his robe is pulled over his head, leaving his gaze in shadow. not that he meets anyone’s eyes for long. listlessly, he wanders until he finds himself at a bar. before, he would have called up constantine and they would have settled themselves in a corner, drinking without judgment but mindful of each other. constantine is gone. abby is gone. all the friends he used to do such things with — quinlan, shaak ti, mace, kit . . . they’re all gone. his family. his brothers and sisters, all in the force.

gone. the absence of their bonds ache like forgotten stars. he signals for a drink with a sigh. if anyone approaches him in his melancholia, he will reply as such. ]

I’m afraid I’m not much for company at the moment. You’d be better suited elsewhere.

( iii. the sword in hand )

[ in the morning, he tries to return to routine. normalcy. he shouldn’t forgo everything simply because he is changed.

oh, but everything has changed.

he performs the exercise without the use of his saber. not everything is reliant on the edge of the blade and he had other skills to hone. every day, every minute. obi-wan may dislike a number of things, but he refuses to be anything less than perfect in all his deficiencies. and there were just so many, cluttering his head and his heart.

obi-wan wrenches himself out of his thought with a jerk of his head and in a hurried motion, draws his saber and — lava and fire burns all around them, but all he can feel is cold, cold is the touch of the dark, cold is the way that withers all and not even the hatred in anakin’s eyes changed that and obi-wan is so cold, why was this happening, how did they come to this —

— he flings his saber in a burst of pain. it soars through the air before falling to the ground, landing on soft grass. it makes no sound. obi-wan can’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears. his knees sink to the ground and he bows his head while his fingers grasp at his ears.

he can’t hear anything anymore. it’s all cold. ]

Comments

[jedies]

[ he exhales quietly. ]

A great upheaval plotted by a lord of the dark.

[frogfear]

[Willow thinks of Maul and the strife that's occurred between them over the course of the last year, and it's difficult to grasp how much trouble someone like him could cause back in his own world, should he take it into his head to do so.]

What about the rest of the Jedi? Are they safe?

[jedies]

[ obi-wan closes his eyes in pain. ]

They're gone.

[frogfear]

[Willow draws a sharp breath. It's almost a reflex to ask, 'all of them?' From the look on his face, though, and the way he closes his eyes, it's clearly an unnecessary question.]

I'm so sorry, Obi-Wan. When did all this happen?

[jedies]

[ when? he couldn't say. it was the blink of an eye. one minute, the war was over, the next they were being shot at. ]

Too soon, I'm afraid. Once it ended, our enemy struck when our backs were turned.

[frogfear]

[It's alarming that their enemy's plan was a success. Willow knows the Jedi are - were - very powerful, and a force for good in the universe, even if most of of them is limited to what Obi-Wan had told her that night at the pond back in Deerington, and the little bits and pieces she's picked up from other people from his world she's talked to.]

Well... I guess that answers how they managed to pull it off, if they took you by surprise...

[jedies]

More than that. Our . . . trusted allies shot us in the back.

Quite literally. And with our Temple unguarded . . .

[frogfear]

[It's all so terrible, and it just keeps getting worse.]

It sounds like they had it planned for awhile.

[jedies]

Years, I would think.

They had us all eating out of the palm of their hand.

[frogfear]

That must have been some conspiracy for it to go that deep and be kept quiet for that long.

[Willow lets out a quiet sigh. She doubts there's really much she can say or do that would offer much comfort under the circumstances, except for let Obi-Wan talk about the experience in hopes it will help.]

From what you've told me, the Jedi are a really powerful force for good in your universe. I mean, I guess it's natural that means you would have some really powerful enemies too.

Did any of your people survive?

[jedies]

. . . I wish I knew for sure.

[ he sent out the messages. lit every beacon he could in hopes some survived. and obi-wan knew some did because he met them here in trench.

still. in his heart, he knows it is paltry. and he'll never see another jedi again. ]

[frogfear]

[Maybe it's a moot point, talking about the Jedi back home when Obi-Wan is here and all Willow knows of what happens when someone is called back to the ocean is that they simply go back to being a squid. It's not exactly helpful, though; she imagines considering that is probably about as comfortable for him as it is for her to think that the odds are well against her seeing her friends or family from home again.]

From what you've told me, the Jedi are powerful. Resourceful. I think if anyone could survive something like that, it's them.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan sighs. ]

One can only hope.

[frogfear]

Hope can be a powerful thing.

[It's intended as a gentle reminder to hold on, and not give into despair, even though things look particularly bleak.]

What do you think you'll do now?

[jedies]

. . . I don't know. I don't know what I can do.

Keep living, I suppose. Make it useful.

[frogfear]

That seems like a good way to keep the memories of the others alive.

[jedies]

. . . It is, I'm afraid, the only way left.

[frogfear]

I guess that's one up side to this place. There's always a chance you'll see the people you're missing here, no matter how bad things are back where we came from.

[jedies]

It won't make up for what happened though.

[frogfear]

Sometimes it's not about making up for something out of our control, but finding a way to move forward from it.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan merely sighs. ]

As you say.

[frogfear]

I know. It's probably not much consolation. I'm sorry. I wish I had something better to help.

[jedies]

It's all right.

I'll manage.