( open ) do not stand on my grave and weep

[jedies]

Who: Obi-Wan + You
What: Obi-Wan updating to Post Revenge of the Sith
When: May 7th
Where: Around Trench + Obi-Wan's House

Content Warnings: Possible intense discussions of grief and trauma. Mentions of genocide and mutilation.

( i. awakening — closed to immediate cr + vyng )

[ he awoke in darkness.

that is what terrified him momentarily. the darkness closed in on him, on everyone and he had to warn, he had to stop it, he had to do something. the yawning abyss stretched out and obi-wan thrust his hand forward to touch . . . something soft? like the folds of a cocoon. he grasps and pulls, the force answering his cry like the tempestuous rush of the tide —

— and it breaks, light cascading into his strange prison. he pulls himself out with a gasp, dragging himself along the floor. blearily, he blinks, taking in his surroundings before he rasps out in a voice ill-used for days. ]

W — Where?

( ii. drinks on the house )

[ after (hastily) settling affairs, obi-wan drifts around the town like a ghost. his robe is pulled over his head, leaving his gaze in shadow. not that he meets anyone’s eyes for long. listlessly, he wanders until he finds himself at a bar. before, he would have called up constantine and they would have settled themselves in a corner, drinking without judgment but mindful of each other. constantine is gone. abby is gone. all the friends he used to do such things with — quinlan, shaak ti, mace, kit . . . they’re all gone. his family. his brothers and sisters, all in the force.

gone. the absence of their bonds ache like forgotten stars. he signals for a drink with a sigh. if anyone approaches him in his melancholia, he will reply as such. ]

I’m afraid I’m not much for company at the moment. You’d be better suited elsewhere.

( iii. the sword in hand )

[ in the morning, he tries to return to routine. normalcy. he shouldn’t forgo everything simply because he is changed.

oh, but everything has changed.

he performs the exercise without the use of his saber. not everything is reliant on the edge of the blade and he had other skills to hone. every day, every minute. obi-wan may dislike a number of things, but he refuses to be anything less than perfect in all his deficiencies. and there were just so many, cluttering his head and his heart.

obi-wan wrenches himself out of his thought with a jerk of his head and in a hurried motion, draws his saber and — lava and fire burns all around them, but all he can feel is cold, cold is the touch of the dark, cold is the way that withers all and not even the hatred in anakin’s eyes changed that and obi-wan is so cold, why was this happening, how did they come to this —

— he flings his saber in a burst of pain. it soars through the air before falling to the ground, landing on soft grass. it makes no sound. obi-wan can’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears. his knees sink to the ground and he bows his head while his fingers grasp at his ears.

he can’t hear anything anymore. it’s all cold. ]

Comments

[survivalthroughhate]

I am sorry. [He says, running a hand over his face and across his mouth.] I'm not very good with all.....this.

[He gestures all around him as if trying to comfort someone else is a tangible thing that can be seen in the air. Maul decides maybe shutting up and being quite is the kindest thing he can do for Obi-Wan right now, so he sits down next to the Jedi, just close enough for their shoulders to occasionally brush. He figures being right here, a quiet, solid presence if Obi-Wan needs him, might be the best thing he can give him right now.]

[jedies]

[ that might be the most comforting thing maul has done. it's strange to have him here, this old wound, in a tangible space. it doesn't make his heart ache like everything else does. obi-wan finds himself leaning closer, his head brushing against maul's shoulder.

he is so tired. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

[The silence between them stretches out but it's not an uncomfortable one. Sometimes, words just aren't adequate for a situation. Obi-Wan has lost everything. So has Maul, on a much smaller scale, and once again it had happened on the same day. Maul's time to process had been easier given the disorienting experience of turning back into a Zabrak after being a squid. Obi-Wan had no such cushion when he'd experienced all that he has.

At any other time, Maul might have been thrilled to have Obi-Wan's head brushing up against his shoulder. Right now, all he can do is feel a little sorry for the man, his nascent empathy being awakened right now. One hand comes up, stroking through Obi-Wan's hair in a comforting manner. 'I'm here' the movement says. In the Force, his presence is quiet and muted. The Dark Side is not always evil and right now it simply exists, just part of Maul the same way the red color of his skin is.]

[jedies]

[ let it be, obi-wan thinks to himself, closing his eyes.

tomorrow will come and he cannot stop it. so he must let it be. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

[Such a strange turn of events, to go from hating someone to caring about him so deeply that he was willing to stay and offer whatever comfort he could at one of his lowest moments. He'll stay there as long as Obi-Wan needs him.]