( open ) do not stand on my grave and weep

[jedies]

Who: Obi-Wan + You
What: Obi-Wan updating to Post Revenge of the Sith
When: May 7th
Where: Around Trench + Obi-Wan's House

Content Warnings: Possible intense discussions of grief and trauma. Mentions of genocide and mutilation.

( i. awakening — closed to immediate cr + vyng )

[ he awoke in darkness.

that is what terrified him momentarily. the darkness closed in on him, on everyone and he had to warn, he had to stop it, he had to do something. the yawning abyss stretched out and obi-wan thrust his hand forward to touch . . . something soft? like the folds of a cocoon. he grasps and pulls, the force answering his cry like the tempestuous rush of the tide —

— and it breaks, light cascading into his strange prison. he pulls himself out with a gasp, dragging himself along the floor. blearily, he blinks, taking in his surroundings before he rasps out in a voice ill-used for days. ]

W — Where?

( ii. drinks on the house )

[ after (hastily) settling affairs, obi-wan drifts around the town like a ghost. his robe is pulled over his head, leaving his gaze in shadow. not that he meets anyone’s eyes for long. listlessly, he wanders until he finds himself at a bar. before, he would have called up constantine and they would have settled themselves in a corner, drinking without judgment but mindful of each other. constantine is gone. abby is gone. all the friends he used to do such things with — quinlan, shaak ti, mace, kit . . . they’re all gone. his family. his brothers and sisters, all in the force.

gone. the absence of their bonds ache like forgotten stars. he signals for a drink with a sigh. if anyone approaches him in his melancholia, he will reply as such. ]

I’m afraid I’m not much for company at the moment. You’d be better suited elsewhere.

( iii. the sword in hand )

[ in the morning, he tries to return to routine. normalcy. he shouldn’t forgo everything simply because he is changed.

oh, but everything has changed.

he performs the exercise without the use of his saber. not everything is reliant on the edge of the blade and he had other skills to hone. every day, every minute. obi-wan may dislike a number of things, but he refuses to be anything less than perfect in all his deficiencies. and there were just so many, cluttering his head and his heart.

obi-wan wrenches himself out of his thought with a jerk of his head and in a hurried motion, draws his saber and — lava and fire burns all around them, but all he can feel is cold, cold is the touch of the dark, cold is the way that withers all and not even the hatred in anakin’s eyes changed that and obi-wan is so cold, why was this happening, how did they come to this —

— he flings his saber in a burst of pain. it soars through the air before falling to the ground, landing on soft grass. it makes no sound. obi-wan can’t hear anything but the ringing in his ears. his knees sink to the ground and he bows his head while his fingers grasp at his ears.

he can’t hear anything anymore. it’s all cold. ]

Comments

[jedies]

Not today, Savage. I made that quite clear.

[opress]

Yet you were eager to fight just a moment ago. You aren't afraid to kill me, are you?

[jedies]

[ a long pause. ]

No, Savage. I'm not afraid to kill. But it is pointless to do so.

[opress]

How is being a victor in a fight pointless?

[His anger allowed him to start to push back against Obi-Wan's Force usage on him.]

[jedies]

For one, you're already dead. You lost long before this battle.

I told you. It's over. And I'm not interested in your petty tantrums.

[opress]

I did. My brother's Master made an example of me, so I must be stronger. If you can kill me, I must be stronger still.

[He rolled his eyes and extinguished his saberstaff, though he kept it in hand.]

Why do you look like you wish you were dead?

[jedies]

[ obi-wan sighs. ]

I'm tired, Savage. That's all.

[opress]

Then maybe you should sleep instead of fighting.

[jedies]

[ buddy,,, you started it. ]

I suppose.

[opress]

[He snorted through his nose, shaking his head.]

Fine, we can fight another time. When are you aren't so tired.

[He didn't even care that it wasn't the moral of this story here.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan sighs. ]

Fine.