Everyone's capable of doing it, is the thing. [Willow didn't think so, at the time, and then a few years later she flayed a man alive and burnt him to ashes when she was done.
The thing is, actively killing people didn't feel harder than killing vampires. She'd always thought of herself as something akin to a monster, rather than a hero. There was something primal and hungry in her, because really, it's unnatural how much she enjoys hurting people, and monsters, and anything she can get her filthy little hands on. But the guilt as she became everything she hated? Everything she was supposed to be against as a champion of the people? She felt guilt for that. And when she familiarized herself with the lives of the people she killed, drove herself mad with fixating on what she took away, she felt guilt for that.]
You get better at telling yourself it's easier. Telling yourself you don't have a choice and all that... Actually doing it is easy unless you're overthinking it. It's the living afterwards part that's hard.
I was made to kill anyway. It was sort of only a matter of time.
cw for mention of flaying, suicidal ideation
The thing is, actively killing people didn't feel harder than killing vampires. She'd always thought of herself as something akin to a monster, rather than a hero. There was something primal and hungry in her, because really, it's unnatural how much she enjoys hurting people, and monsters, and anything she can get her filthy little hands on. But the guilt as she became everything she hated? Everything she was supposed to be against as a champion of the people? She felt guilt for that. And when she familiarized herself with the lives of the people she killed, drove herself mad with fixating on what she took away, she felt guilt for that.]
You get better at telling yourself it's easier. Telling yourself you don't have a choice and all that... Actually doing it is easy unless you're overthinking it. It's the living afterwards part that's hard.
I was made to kill anyway. It was sort of only a matter of time.