deercountry | Blessed Day [Open]

Who: Tara Maclay and OPEN
What: Dealing with her Blessed Day
When: May 7
Where: The Sanctuary Courtyard, the Gardens

Content Warnings: Talk of death, numbness and grief.

The Sanctuary

[Seated in front of the guardian sapling, Tara managed to connect her energy to the earth and everything beneath. It was risky, possibly drawing in darker forces than her magic ever allowed. The puzzle of it, was finding the pure energy and weeding out the bad. She liked the challenge, it kept her occupied and pressed her to have more active control over her abilities. This place largely had good energy, what she had been searching for.

There were flashes of memory, even as she tried to put everything else from her mind. 'Your shirt'. A "POP", a sudden sting and then nothing. Endless peace, comfort, and rest.

Tara sighed, severing the connection to the earth. She pressed her gloved hands to her eyes, well aware that meditation wasn't happening today of all days. Though she had no idea what any of it meant. Blessed day. What exactly was supposed to happen or what was she supposed to feel? At the moment, she felt numb, not really feeling "blessed" on her death day.

She noticed a figure from the corner of her eye and forced a smile to her face, getting to her feet.]

Are you here to see the grounds or are you here for help?

The Gardens

[Bausphomette. They were the most honest and empathetic of the Pthumerians, though why she had never reached out to them, she couldn't say. Maybe because it was an effort to figure it out, along with so much else in this place. She had been here for half a year, but still never spoke to her Pthumerian Patron. It occupied her as she tried to remember if someone had told her before, leaving her restless.

She likely looked like she was lost, pacing back and forth around the grounds.

Summoning was easier in Sunnydale, here, did it require blood or something?

There were others here, though she didn't pay much attention to them at first. Some came, others went, it just meant there were figures in the park. It was only when someone came directly in her path that she pulled out of her daze, fumbling to smile.]

S...sorry, am I in your way?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She's not unaware of what Willow is doing and that she is trying to shield her. It's happened too often for her liking, but she doesn't blame Willow for her concern. Given their tendency for obfuscation regarding their issues, it was threatening to be a habit and, to survive here, they had to trust each other.

She nodded, sympathetic. Remembering how Willow dealt with so many other losses the years she was here, it's painful to hear she's hurting again.]

I'm sorry. I know that a lot of them have been family for you.

How are you managing?

Yeah... They were.

[Willow sighs. It really does feel better to get it off her chest, and she does trust Tara. It's just also remarkably easy to fall into the habit of coping by pretending it's not actually a problem.

She remembers what feels like a lifetime ago, Tara reassuring her in their room that she didn't have to pretend everything was okay when it really wasn't, and she manages a little smile.]

Uhh... I think I've been managing by keeping busy with the shop. But it's getting easier.

That's sort of what I've been doing too, so I understand.

[She does miss sharing a room with Willow, but between the issues with touch that she hasn't figured out yet, there's been a number of revelations that probably need to be worked through. Willow killing someone, nearly ending the world was part of it, but mostly how easily they kept secrets from each other.

This though, this was a good start and gave her hope.]

If it helps, we could start having lunch together? I get some time off or are you too busy?

[There's so much uncertainty in the things that go unsaid between them, but the reassurance, and the understanding, and the offer is very much appreciated.

Willow's smile warms as she nods.]

Yeah. I'd like that. I'm definitely not too busy to make time for lunch.

It seems a bit better than just coffee, right?

[She's shy and flirty with Willow again, as she used to be. Maybe it was better that they went through that hurdle, because at least now, they could genuinely try to find their way back to each other.]

And that way, you can talk about anything you need to or tell me about your day?

[Willow absolutely beams. It's nice to feel back on good terms with Tara again. Things haven't felt this right in a long time - not since Sunnydale, as far as she can recall.]

Yeah! And you too, of course. I know you're going through stuff too. I'll help however I can.

[She knows that the awkwardness between them is her fault. The lack of feeling and desire, the sense of decay, she had pulled away from the person she loves the most. Now, with the help of the sapling, things were starting to change.]

It's hard. [She offers this chance to talk, the sort of stuff she normally talked to Faith about. Willow deserved to know and have a part in her healing.] It's going too slowly for my liking, but maybe that's how it should be?

I'm meditating every day and linking my energy to others to help them, it gives me a sense of their emotions. That taps into the ones I used to feel.

[Willow blames herself for the awkwardness between them as well, and everything that's happened (that she remembers anyway) since Tara came to Trench, then some of the things that happened before. Even under the best of circumstances, she can imagine how difficult Tara must find it to be, especially after the unwilling confession of what happened in Sunnydale after her death.

She nods with a small, sympathetic smile as Tara chooses to tell her how her recovery is going - that it's hard, and slow going, but she feels better.]

I'm glad it's helping. Even if it's hard. And slow. I'll help however I can. If you want, I mean.

I know you will.

[She hesitates, but decides to open up a bit more. It's a big step she's offering towards their relationship healing even more, but she wants to try. Just like before, she doesn't want to put too many hurdles between them.

Willow was important to her.]

I...I think you will be really important. I'll tap into other people's emotions, but there's only one person that can help remind me how big love feels.

We...we can practice together again?

[The way Tara hesitates, just for a moment, makes Willow think she's gone too far too fast, and she half expects the offer to be turned down as the smile begins to fade.

Tara doesn't pull away, though. Instead, she reaches out, and the warm smile returns with relief and joy. Willow has been worried that they wouldn't be able to find a way past everything that's happened - that she had crossed too many lines for their relationship to be repairable.

It gives her hope.]

I'd like that.

Blessed Day [Open]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

End tag?