Vyng Vang Zoombah (
spiritwalks) wrote in
deercountry2021-10-01 09:40 pm
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September & October Catch-All
Who: Vyng
spiritwalks and YOU
What: Catch-All for September + October. See comments for prompts!
When: Various
Where: Various
Note: Style veers wildly between prose and brackets. Just choose whatever style feels good when responding, and I'll match it ♥
Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
What: Catch-All for September + October. See comments for prompts!
When: Various
Where: Various
Note: Style veers wildly between prose and brackets. Just choose whatever style feels good when responding, and I'll match it ♥
Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable
no subject
[Maul corrects absently. Then he goes on to explain.]
The Sith’s tenants believe in bending the Force to our will, that it is there to be for our use and benefit instead of the other way around. Because of that, we bleed our kyber crystals, pouring all of our negative emotions into them until they turn red, to show we have mastered them.
[It truly is a horrific process, taking all the anger, hate, and pain that one possesses and forcing it upon a crystal that is nearly sentient in nature. For Maul, it was even worse, given he’d bled six crystals over the course of his lifetime to create his double-bladed lightsaber. In a way, it shows just how damaged the Sith really is at his core, so full of anger and pain that he was able to do that six times over to crystals that had been attracted to him simply because they wanted to help him.]
no subject
And yet, no rush of anger or indignation flows through Vyng's veins. Maybe when he was younger, he might have allowed self-righteousness to take over. More than anything, he pities them — both Maul and the crystals he's chained with his own misery.]
That sounds exhausting. [His words are quiet and measured.] Why waste the energy, when you can find a crystal that's willing to help you? What does dominating them like this prove?
no subject
[He'd been a teenager, barely fifteen years old when he'd made his first lightsaber.]
But they would not let themselves be found by me at all unless they had intent for me I cannot yet see. The crystal chooses the Force-wielder, not the other way around. I could be standing in a cave full of crystals and never be able to take a single one unless one of them spoke to me.
no subject
[A simple observation, with no moral judgment attached. Most creatures are driven by their need to survive. It's totally understandable.
And yet, from a Druidic standpoint, a survivalist who views the world as an obstacle to conquer will only stagnate spiritually. Vyng's own Winter Walk, a right of passage for many young Druids, was an absolute failure for that reason.
Once you're no longer ruled by your fear of death, however, something incredible happens. Your way of moving through the world radically changes. You're not a single person anymore. You're everything...and everything is you.
But also? Maul's master was an asshole. That's the obvious takeaway here.]
Does that mean a Sith never waits for a crystal to choose them? It's just...take-and-take, all the time?
cw: physical child abuse mention
[It really was a matter of survival for the young boy, scared and alone as he was, being terrorized by a monster. Of course, that didn't absolve Maul of knowing right from wrong when he'd gotten old enough to make his own decisions, but it did explain why he'd done the things he'd done being raised by Sidious.]
Traditionally, yes. Most Sith gather their crystals by killing a Jedi and taking the kyber crystal from their slain foe. I, however, was an unusual case. My master knew if I killed a Jedi, it would draw suspicion onto him, and he wanted to keep his secrecy until he was ready to unfold his plans. So he took me to a planet that was full of them called Ilum. He gave me an hour to find one. It took me an hour and a half because I kept finding another and another until I had four, which is a most unusual number for any Force-user, Light or Dark aligned. He whipped me in the face for taking too long before he ordered me to bleed them all.
no subject
[Vyng can already imagine what it's like to grow up under the thumb of a man who wants to mould you into something you're not, just for his own ends. But to have the threat of a swift, brutal death always hanging over you like that? Fucking yikes.
He lets himself sit with that feeling for a moment. Finally, he asks:]
Where's your master now? Is he here?
no subject
[Ah, the complications that came with time-traveling, people from the future showing up, and all the other shenanigans that this place could get up to. Still, Maul does sound quite satisfied at even just knowing that Sidious will die at all. He's been afraid the old man never would, just go on ruling the galaxy forever and ever until the end of time.]
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[An insensitive question, maybe. But Vyng doesn't always have the most tact, and he can't help but ask. Besides, he's pretty sure most Sleepers have died at least once. It's basically a given at this point, right?]
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We reap what we sow. Sounds like he treated people like tools...until he finally became the tool's tool and got his ass handed to him.
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A very good way to put it. And why I have been trying not to do the same.
[Maul knows anger and vengeance will only end in an empty life for him, so he's determined to do better while he's here in Trench.]
no subject
[Sounds like a radical shift from the life Maul knew before. Even if he's moving in a healthier — and, as Maul notes, a more practical — direction, he can't imagine it's been an easy transition.]
no subject
I do my best. But it is easy to backtrack when my entire life has been spent looking out for myself and my own interests rather than others.
[Maul's got a lot of people here who are looking out for him and helping him along the path of redemption but it's not easy. So often, he's liable to backtrack into what's quick and easy for him instead of trying to what's right and just.]
I don't want to be a good person. I don't think I'm ever going to be good. But a better person...perhaps that I can manage.
no subject
[Different people are going to have different definitions, obviously. And in places like Deerington or Trench, Vyng can see how progress won't necessarily be linear.]
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When he speaks, the words come slowly and haltingly.]
I suppose...I don't want to always have to hurt and kill people to get what I need or want. I want to protect and help those I care about without having to worry that someday I'll need to kill them for some reason. I've only ever cared about a handful of people before in my own galaxy but here...I have formed actual connections with people and have become friends with them. That isn't always a good thing, you seem cognizant enough to realize love can be as toxic and destructive an emotion as something like anger can be. I've done my best to kill people when they hurt those I care about. It's easy to slip back into the idea of murder in those moments. But so many here believe I can be redeemed, and while I don't think that process will have a set end goal of ending up on the Light Side, I at least think their faith is not completely misplaced.
[This is the first time Maul has really put into words what he actually sees his end goal as on the path of redemption that so many of his friends are helping him to walk. He's not looking to become a "good person" in the sense that he sees people like Usagi and Obi-Wan are. But better is something he can strive for, someone who isn't just a destructive force of nature, a weapon meant for killing.]
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You have faith in their faith. You understand hurting others won't end well for you. You're willing to find alternatives for getting what you want.
[All contrary to the me-first, survival-of-the-fittest mentality his abusive teacher instilled in him. Vyng nods in quiet acknowledgement of the strides he's already been making and says:]
You've come a long way, Maul.
no subject
From you, I shall take that as a compliment.
[Maul's eyes soften up just a little bit.]
You are not nearly as much of a fool as I first mistook you for.