deercountry | June catch-all and Return of the Boy (OPEN)

Entry tags:

June catch-all and Return of the Boy (OPEN)

Who: Lance (

azurestar)
What: June catch-all. Return from deer-hood.
When: All June. Boy returns first week.
Where: Forest, around town.

Content Warnings: depression, ptsd, nightmare demon, throat wound, house fire, will add as they appear

( ooc: Lance has spent most of April and May in his deer form, for those unfamiliar: the ability to transform into a deer is something some characters from Deerington obtained via death and a special event. There are consequences to transforming too often: you lose yourself more and more. This is what has happened to Lance over the course of the last 2 months. Pulling Lance out of this state is reserved for Keith alone, but there is a prompt to interact with him in the midst of this predicament. )

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WEEK 1

i. [This is the last time he was human. For a brief few hours at the start of June. The constant retreating into his deer form to escape from the loss of Hunk, of... just, so much, has increasingly caused him to become detached and not all there even when he's human. He's having trouble figuring out what he is, where he is, when he is... sometimes he feels like he's straddling two worlds at once, or drifting between spaces in time. He can be found on the first day of June for a short handful of hours wandering at any random hour of the day or night, looking almost like he's sleepwalking. It'll be difficult to get him to focus on you as he seems to keep staring off placidly at something else in the distance. He may even struggle to remember you. If there's any danger from beast or villain about to harm him, he doesn't seem aware at all no matter how much noise is made, even when you swoop in to save him.

And when those short handful of hours pass, he's slipping back into the form of a deer. If you've interacted with him in this form before, you'd have noted there was a sentient self awareness behind his big eyes. Now they are dull, he looks and acts so much like a real deer that it's likely disturbing and frightening to those who know better. He can be found mostly on the outskirts of the city in Trenchwood, and much like a real deer, he's rather skittish so approach carefully if you come upon him in this form instead of as a human.]

ii. [It's the end of the first week of June, and he's been pulled out of his deer fugue. If you'd happened upon him in his disconnect and/or or as a deer at any point in the last two months, the difference is striking. He's self aware, he's more present, but he's not completely back to himself ether. There's a lot of holes in his memory, things completely missing and slow to return, or in some cases, perhaps never to return. And he still has moments where he stares off at something far away or through someone. But it's momentary and he shakes his head to clear it of his own accord here and there.

To keep himself present and grounded, he's trying to go out to public spaces and engage. So of course, that means he'll be all over Willful Machine and Cellar Door especially. Catch him in the markets either noticing a thief trying to steal or falling into one of his detached moments and a thief taking advantage at that moment. Or find him in Earworm at the bar partaking in a little bit of alcohol and watching people dance, and after a few drinks, he'll get into a breakdancing contest with someone, but he's kind of fumbling a bit like Bambi, which is uncharacteristic, it's almost like he's still trying to figure out how to walk on two legs...]

( ooc: feel free to assume he wanders into any venue if you have an idea for a prompt. You may also assume/handwave that your character ran into Lance while he was in a similar state to prompt 1 at any point in the month of May. Including the Karate Tournament because he was involved in that. )

DREAMS and HOLES

i. [But of course yanking himself out of the deer dream, nightmares return in full. At first, he doesn't think much of it because he has them all the time anyway. But he seems to be more prone to waking nightmares now, they come on when he has his intermittent fugue states that still come along in the wake of nearly losing himself to being a deer. That's… not so usual.

Find Lance around town, sometimes seemingly frozen in the middle of a task and seeming to stare placidly into the middle distance. Maybe he was already talking to you or just saying hi, or in the middle of checking the hooves of the horse he's taken for a ride through town. Try to shake him out of it or perhaps come upon him as he's coming out of it with a strangled gasp on his own and shakily rubs at his face, trying to stay on his feet. His voice is hoarse, tone a weak attempt at dark humor.]

…Remind me why I didn't just stay a deer again…

[Or perhaps he happens upon you in the opposite predicament after he's been rid of his own demon, or is suffering the same. He'll approach with a slight notch in his brows, not looking entirely sure of himself in his own body, but not able to ignore your obvious plight.] …You okay?

ii. [He was a deer at the time when the earth started to shake and standing right where one of the ice cavers opened. He was so terrified on all levels both human and animal, he bolted so far out into the forest that he got lost for a good while. More lost than he already was, anyway. And if anyone tried to enter in the holes in that first week and he was nearby, you would have heard a loud elk screech in protest echoing through the trees. But he wouldn't come anywhere near that hole from where he stood watching you from afar, moving restlessly in fear, like the hole is a rabid bear.

Once he's human again, his reaction is not so frightened, and he doesn't seem to remember the holes at all from when he was a deer. He comes upon one for the first time as a human closer to town. He stops, stares, seems frozen and caught in another fugue. Then he turns on his heel and starts to walk away.]

Nope! no, nah-uh. No way. Not happening. Bye.

[Perhaps you really want him to come down there with you because you've been bitten by the adventure bug, or you agree. Regardless, he has very strong feelings about holes and there is a story there. Whether he will tell it or not probably depends on you. The real challenge is getting him in there if you're looking to try.]

SPIRITS

i. [At first he thought the spirits were his usual hallucinations. He tends to see people he loves and misses and has regrets of all the time in flashes and lingering moments all the time anyway. But just like the nightmares that started to get more harrowing and happen during the day, he does eventually figure out this might not be just his usual crazy.

It's more vivid than usual when he sees Hunk going through the food stalls like any other day in Willfull Machine, picking out the best crops out of what scarce ones there are. He hasn't hallucinated in that much vivid detail or color or in such an ordinary way in… it's hard to say, his memories are still messed up since he nearly lost himself to his deer form. After staring hard for a long moment, he'll reach out without looking to the first person he can, gripping their ar,]

Do you see a big guy with an orange headband over there or am I losing my mind? …Again.

ii. [It's not just Hunk, he also sees pretty much everyone else as well. The hardest is Allura, because of course Allura is there. Of course, she appears as the ghost she was in her last moments caught in a loop. His memories are a patchwork of of holes, and the ones around that time in his life… one of the worst times, are the most shattered. But that image he will never be allowed to forget in full, it seems.

It's when he's out and about when he sees her against a building wall and he has to stumble back into another wall as it knocks the breath out of him. Tunnel vision takes hold and he can barely breath, breaths short and shallow. He looks like a frozen terrified deer caught in headlights just waiting for the oncoming collusion and unable to think enough through the terror to move.]

iii. [If he still had lingering doubts about if the ghosts are a product of his own mind or something else, they certainly dissipate when Chloe's ghost starts wrecking his living room. Bolin's not at home, thankfully, or he's pretty sure his friend would freak out and make it a lot harder to calm her down. He doesn't know how or why he knows what to do, but when she throws a table outside the front window and he trips over himself falling out of the window as well, he gets up, ignoring any glass piece in his skin and just starts talking.

To a passersby, this might look like a domestic dispute and his parter is inside the house throwing all his things out on the lawn after he cheated or something. He dodges an old musty lamp getting tossed out onto the street and people are starting to stare…]

H-hey, Chloe. Remember… remember that time I came over to your house and flew the Red Lion to your window? I offered to show you the world, but you were too cool to get on my magic lion carpet ride… or I think that's how it went.

[His memory is still such a mess, so he's not entirely sure. But maybe that is indeed how it went because there's a pause in the throwing of things. Is that a good thing or bad thing he wonders…]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Keith had been prepping since talking to Manabu about exploring further away from Trench. He was curious enough, and, frankly, this adventurous itch he'd gotten when the new month started was pushing him to head out there and go looking. So, he was hanging around the edge of town, working on some of his drills with Kosmo and getting familiarity between himself, Kosmo, and his Nightmare steed. The oddly bloodthirsty black unicorn would be a good battle companion for an exploration out into dangerous woods, and Keith realized that it seemed to like being around him. He'd been spending most of the first week out there.

But there was a reason he'd picked this particular section of the city's border. He'd been worried about Lance since their encounter on the beach after Hunk disappeared. He'd noticed how much Lance had been retreating, and had spotted that deer form around a few times as well. After the situation at Blue's place, when he'd first seen Lance's deer form, he'd gotten the explanation about it from Shiro, and seeing it again was concerning. So, having heard people talking about a glowing deer with three stars in its antlers, he'd headed out this way to see if he could spot him. He only had Kosmo with him this time, and he was hoping to talk Lance back into being human...

As if. Keith was bad at words, and he was honestly afraid of making it worse, but he had to try. He didn't have many people here from home, and he didn't want to lose any of them... especially not in this way.]

Hey, bud. [He crouched down, giving the thick fur around Kosmo's neck a rough rubbing.] Let's see if we can find Lance, okay? [The wolf's ears twitched, and there was that look in his eyes like he understood. When Keith stood back up, Kosmo began sniffing and led the way further into the woods. The Paladin followed, armed with his blade and his bayard, which were both currently stowed away as not to startle another Sleeper that might be out here, and soon, they were following a very specific trail.

It didn't take long for Kosmo to pick up Lance's scent, and then, after some time, Keith spotted that familiar glow from Lance's deer form. He put his hand out to get Kosmo to pause, and they slowed their approach. Rumors were that the 'deer" was skittish and would run on sight, so Keith tried to be careful.]

[Kosmo may sense another wolf's presence nearby as Edelya, the giant white direwolf approaches from their right. She's quiet on her feet, but she's also massive and heavy and that is impossible to keep out of her steps. Her ears are perked in excited interest at Kosmo, though by now she has gathered he does not remember her and has lost a couple years in age and size, she is not spurned by this.

She has been out here at a distance, knowing the deer is Lance and aiming to watch out for beasts. It's the best she can do and she is glad to see them both here, because maybe they can do more. In times past when Lance was a deer, he'd have his coyote omen out and watching the area along with Edelya. But as he's lost himself more and more, the Omen has retreated into its place within his soul.

Edelya sits next to them, then looks over to the "deer" who is now staring at them, tense and frozen. If it wasn't for the glowing stars and the faintest of flickers of humanity in his eyes, he'd look like any other deer caught in headlights.]

[Keith was definitely wary of the massive wolf, but he just got the feeling that she was waiting for something. She definitely wasn't attacking, and Kosmo, while on guard for not recognizing her right away, stayed calm. He didn't get an aggressive feeling from her, and Keith used Kosmo's attitude to reinforce his own feeling about her presence.

That said, the deer was a different story entirely. Keith took a deep breath. He gingerly put a hand out towards Lance, trying to be careful. He had an innate sense when it came to animals, and he was being cautious, watching for any sign that Lance might spook and run again. He didn't want that.]

[Edelya slowly lowers herself to a laying down position to watch the situation unfold. She knows Keith and Kosmo even if they don't really know her, and she knows what they mean to Lance. She is not worried, just hopeful and aware of her size and presence enough to shift her stance to show she wants the same as him.

Lance tenses visibly, watching Keith like he's wounded, and he is on one back leg, but nothing immediately serious. But it's not the pale blood leaking from the meat of his upper thigh and the way he's favoring it that feeds that wounded aura. There's the distinct wariness of emotional and psychological wounds that have him looking like that. Big, sad deer eyes are in full effect as he watches.]

[Keith worked hard to avoid projecting that he was nervous, continuing to approach... slowly... carefully... waiting to see some sort of recognition in those eyes. He'd worry about the favored leg once he could get some sort of connection with the Lance inside the deer...]

Hey... [He kept his voice quiet.] You okay? Do you understand me right now?

[He recognizes him and also doesn't. It's instinct and feeling and a gnawing sense of familiarity in painful way… but also a good way. It's confusing and frightening and he stumbles a little as he takes a couple steps back and his head dips.

But he's not running. And he understands in a distant sort of way, yes and no. It's a little like Keith is speaking another language that he learned a long time ago and hasn't practiced recently.]

[Keith froze when he noticed the backing up, waiting to see if the deer would run... but he didn't, so, after a moment, he started getting closer again. His hand still outstretched in case the drive the sniff was strong in Lance.]

It's okay. I just wanna help you, man. Okay? Let me help.

[He trembles slightly and looks torn, or as torn and conflicted as a deer's face can look. But he doesn't move, just stooping his head even lower. He's not able to use the stars in his antlers on himself… he thinks. Actually, he hasn't put a lot of thought into it, mostly he's been operating on instinct.

But he's not running still. Keith may even be able to touch him without him running, though he will jerk.]

[By now, Keith had gotten close enough. Gently... almost gingerly... he did place his hand on the deer's shoulder. He did pull back again when Lance jerked under his touch, but he didn't move from his spot and did his best to hopefully not spook him worse.]

It's okay. You know me. [He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth for a second, almost chewing on it before trying again.] See? [He remembered vaguely that Lance had been able to communicate with rough telepathy as a deer, but he wasn't sure if that was working at the moment. Plus, Keith's memories from that fight were kind of weird, because he distinctly remembered a weird four legged monster with horns, and another one with some iron hand that kept roaring and snarling at him as they fought in Blue's house before suddenly they were Lance's deer form and Shiro again. He tried not to think too hard about it.

Either way, he thought he remembered Lance projecting words into his head at some point that day...]

Can you... can you talk?

[Can he…? The words have meaning to a distant part of his mind. Right now he understands emotional vibration more than words. And the vibration he is getting from Keith is familiarity, trust and deep down inside his own self, something soft and pained, wounded.

He trembles and a distressed sound can be heard come from deep in his chest. But it's the kind of distressed that tentatively begs for help even if he doesn't know what he needs help with, he just knows he's erratic, confused, in pain both emotional and physical. And in front of him is a being that brings forth mixed emotions but above all trust and he has to lean on that.]

Come on. Let me help you?

[Keith wanted to take a look at that leg and see if he could do something to help him out with it. If he could get at least that far, then maybe that would open up a door or something into talking Lance back into human form. As he'd been asking around if people had seen him, someone had mentioned the deer forms were protective in a way... some sort of retreat from difficult times instead of turning to beasthood. If that was the case, and Lance was still in there, then Keith figured he might be able to get him back to normal...

He just wasn't so sure how.]

[Lance has explained it to a few people who asked after seeing him transform back and forth, it would not surprise him that word has circulated amongst the locals and others. For now, he has almost no memory of that, of speaking and being apart of a society…

In response to the question, he just tilts his head. As time passes and he gets used to Keith's vibrations, understanding of words sort of trickles in. He gets the general concept of what is being said in a way he can't explain. For a long time he just silently stands there and then almost entirely without realizing it, he thinks: 'ok'.

And the thought is faintly projected outward, it'll sound like a faint whisper as opposed to something more clear and intentional like how he used to communicate before in this form.]

[Keith lowered his head slightly as he had to really think on if he'd actually heard that in his mind, but then he transitioned it into a nod.]

Okay.

[He reached into his bag as he moved to check that injured leg, still being careful and gentle. He didn't want to spook Lance into running off. The tension was palpable. He crouched down, and carefully pulled some bandages from the pack to carefully try cleaning the wound.]

It might hurt... but I'm just trying to help, okay? Don't be scared.

[But he is scared. On some level, he understands well enough to be confused by that. He's so scared of so much. Of more loss of more pain, receiving and causing. A recent memory of being on the beach, burning up with human hands, mourning a brother comes to his mind's eye.

He starts to tremble in anticipation of pain and overwhelmed feelings and confusion and conflict. But he doesn't run, he feels frozen here, locked in place by something he can't explain.

'Can't.']

[Keith wasn't sure what Lance was trying to tell him... but he just carefully worked on treating the wound.]

It's fine. You don't have to say anything right now.

[It didn't take long. Keith was pretty adept at first aid, at least. Though, doing this on a deer was new. But, he'd done it on Kosmo a few times as needed, so it wasn't that much different, right?

There... it was at least cleaned and covered.]

I um... I can't do much more than that... [He came back around to stand in front of Lance.] Those stars... you can't heal yourself with them, can you?

[It aches, what Keith is doing, but on a deep level he does understand that it has to be done as more of his human self trickles back. His leg is sore, but it doesn't hurt as much now that it's been tended to. He stays still, muscles and ears twitching regularly with how much he's trying to process.

Then Keith is standing back in front of him, and he likes that better than before he thinks. Being able to see him. The question is oddly one that doesn't confuse him as it's in relation to his deer-hood. He shakes his head in response, a rather human gesture he hasn't done in a while. And for some reason, there's a pang of melancholy that comes with acknowledging that limitation and his front hoof paws at the ground as he looks down looking almost troubled.

Why can't he help himself?]

Hey. [Keith reached out, his hand hovering near Lance's nose.] It's okay. We'll figure this out later. Let's just get you somewhere safe, okay?

[Honestly, Keith wasn't sure how far into town he'd be able to get Lance in this state. He knew using Kosmo to teleport him would just likely spook him worse and send him running. For now, if he could at least get him to follow him as far as the barn, that might work as a way to give him a place to rest and heal until he could figure out how to change back.]

Do you trust me? [He knew it was a heavy question right now.] I want to help you, but I need you to come with me.

[Keith's hand over his nose doesn't seems to scare him. Something even Lance recognizes as strange since whenever anyone else has tried to come close and touch him like that, he's instantly bolted without even thinking twice. He hears the words safe and after a moment of realizing what it means, his head hangs ears flicking backwards and legs shaking slightly. Safe doesn't seem possible. But he wants safe.

But is safe the same thing to Keith as it is to him? He doesn't know, and that's unnerving. But then Keith asks him if he trusts him, and there's a jolt of emotion he struggles to put words to deep in his chest. They are warm, even maybe amused and a lot nervous. Scared.

And yet, he knows the answer despite his conflicts. After a moment of tense standing and trembling, he nods his head.]

Okay. [Keith nodded. Softly, almost a whisper...] Thanks.

[He didn't know why, but knowing Lance trusted him, even transformed like this, it felt... comforting... warm. He'd take it.]

Come on. [He started leading Lance along, watching for signs of more pain in that injured leg, for signs of fear, waiting to see if Lance would turn and run away... Kosmo followed as well, staying on the other side of Keith.

As they started moving, Keith gave a quick glance towards the white direwolf who'd helped him find Lance. He nodded to her.]

Thank you for watching him.

[He follows Keith slowly, but more because he's still on edge and there's a lot of emotions and slowly emerging human consciousness than because of his leg. His head is still held a bit low, and his stance looks ready to blot or charge at a moment's notice.

Edelya, the wolf regards Keith and seems to blinks in a way that says 'I always do'. Then she falls in step with Kosmo because he is old friend and pack alpha even if he doesn't remember. Luckily, the journey to the edge of town isn't far, it's getting all the way through the streets and to the barn that's the challenge.]

[Keith did pause at the edge of town. He wondered if getting Lance closer to human would make it easier to get through town. If there was still a heavy deer influence, he'd heard enough about the sightings of the "star-antlered deer" to know he was skittish in this form, prone to animal mind influences. He also vaguely remembered how he'd run off so quickly after the fight at Blue's, but a good portion of that time was still a bit blurry in his head.

He took a deep breath and turned back to face Lance again. Carefully, he put his hand on the deer's shoulder. It was something they as a team did a lot, started mostly by Shiro. Maybe it would help with trying to connect.]

Do you think you can do this? The barn is in town, but it's safe. [As safe as anywhere in this place, really, but...] If we can get there, I can treat your leg wound better.

Unless... maybe... we could figure out how to get you to turn back? [Would he even know that he was supposed to be human at this point? Keith wasn't sure.]

[Turn… back? On some level he is starting to understand more that he isn't actually a deer. Or maybe he is? He isn't human anymore, that is something he feels deep in his core. Or at the very least, he's uncertain of it and has good reason to be. What is he?

Who is he?

The rest of what Keith says needs more digesting, translating in his head. It's overwhelming. The concept of turn back and going into town, a place that's scared him and offered safety. Barn… barn sounds good. It's a word he associates with security and comfort as a human and flashes of being in the barn on Earth and in Deerington flick through his mind's eye. He snorts and tosses his head a little.

'Barn. No town.']

[No town. Right. That was going to be... awkward. Keith took a deep breath, then looked at Kosmo. He kept his hand solidly on Lance's shoulder.]

Okay. I have an idea. But it's going to be kind of sudden. Kosmo can get us to the barn without us having to walk through town. But it's by teleporting.

[He was hoping his meaning was coming through. Lance was seeming to be a little more responsive and understanding the more they interacted, so Keith was hoping he was getting through.]

Do you trust me enough to teleport to the barn?

[He takes a moment to absorb that. It's easier for him to understand now, compared to before. The concept of teleporting is not lost on him, it bubbles up from his human mind that is emerging more and more. It's fuzzy on the details of the experience, but he thinks he likes instant barn better than any other avenue.

And he does trust Keith, he thinks. Even if there's a pain associated with him that he can't explain, it's not the kind that would have him mistrust his intentions. So he nods slow and deliberate, tense.]

[Keith nodded as well. He gestured for Kosmo to come close.]

Let's go, buddy.

[Still with his hand firmly on Lance's shoulder, he used his other hand to touch Kosmo. At the same time, being gentle, Kosmo pressed himself against one of Lance's front legs... then...]

Okay... Now.

[FLASH!]

Easy now-... [Keith immediately moved his hand from Kosmo to Lance, putting both his hands on the deer's shoulder to hopefully keep him calm. But, they were in the barn. With Kaltenecker, and some horses, and just... that sense of familiarity.]

Near the end of the 1st Week - Deer Rescue

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