[July catchall] There's no safe place, no sanctuary

[ezra_of_lothal]

Who: Ezra Bridger ezra_of_lothal and you!
What: a july catch-all with various semi-open starts
When: Post-boatgate, mid Chara's rampage, and the rest of the month
Where:  Centered around Cassandra, but could be anywhere 

Content Warnings: Violent death, grief, hauntings. May be updated here and have cws in thread subject lines

Comments

[ezra_of_lothal]

[In a murmur-]

I wish I could hug you.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan manages a tired smile. ]

I wish you could.

[ezra_of_lothal]

I can - [He nudges their bond with a brush of affection/concern. And then he holds himself as still as can, in the Force, because he's not sure event that is welcome. More than that - definitely not.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan smiles faintly even as he looks down. normally, this would be fine. jedi don't need to be touching physically and there is a number of intimacies that can fill that void. ]

We can wait. Until you return.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He keeps telling himself he has no expectations. This time he can't help feeling a flicker of disappointment. But he lets it go. It helps that that reaction could have been so much worse.

And part of him wants to say 'I right here'-]

When I have a physical body again.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan sighs. ]

When you are whole again.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Ok, fair point. He smiles faintly.]

Hugs when I'm whole again. Deal.

[jedies]

Deal.

[ a brief pause. ]

You're truly not in any pain like this?

[ezra_of_lothal]

It's...disorienting. Disturbing?

Isolating.

I wouldn't say in pain.

[jedies]

Well. At least there is that.

[ gently. ]

I'm sorry it's been uncomfortable though.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[HE sighs.]

As weird as it is to say, I've...existed through worse.

[jedies]

It's not a contest, Ezra.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He pauses.]

You're right and wouldn't accept what I just said from anyone else.

[jedies]

[ a quiet nod. ]

I know that too. When something like this happens, the urge to . . . downplay is overwhelming.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Yeah.

But we can't....process, without honesty. To ourselves, at the very least.

[jedies]

That is usually the case, yes.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Light and warm-]

Not telling the Jedi Master anything new, I know.

[jedies]

When you get to my age, you'll feel the same way.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Amused-]

Like the young 'uns just go around saying the obvious?

[jedies]

Or young 'uns saying things since the beginning, that all youths say.

You don't think I never did the same?

[ezra_of_lothal]

...Huh. It's not that I haven't considered what Padawan Kenobi was like.

[Between a few stories and flickers of memory from the sharing, he's not completely clueless.]

Hadn't considered it enough to ponder that aspect, maybe.

[jedies]

It's not the easiest thing to imagine.

[ but some insecurities are eternal, so to speak. ]

[ezra_of_lothal]

Hmmm. So which bits?

Downplaying, even when it's dumb? Being a little cranky when feel like your master's playing up mysterious? Condescendingly lecturing like you're the adult here?

[Yes, he is completely making fun of himself, but there's not really a vicious edge to it.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan looks bemused. ]

I had Qui-Gon Jinn as a master. What do you think?

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He laughs brightly.]

Well, how I should I know? There's a reason I asked you for a Master Jinn story that time.

[He ponders the little bits he knows, briefly.]

He could be a headache and half sometimes, couldn't he?