Xerxes Break (
payingfordeliverance) wrote in
deercountry2022-07-07 09:38 pm
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House Log 004: Do you wanna build a snowmaaaaaaaan --
Who: Residents of Pandora House and Frequent Intruders
What: In which, while the rest of the game loses its collective shit, at Pandora House we try and fail to conjure magic winter while playing musical chairs in regards to who is locking who up to keep them safe at any given time
When: Throughout July
Where: Paaaaaandora House
Content warnings: Marked in threads accordingly, mostly just people being wildly overprotective
What: In which, while the rest of the game loses its collective shit, at Pandora House we try and fail to conjure magic winter while playing musical chairs in regards to who is locking who up to keep them safe at any given time
When: Throughout July
Where: Paaaaaandora House
Content warnings: Marked in threads accordingly, mostly just people being wildly overprotective
Closed to Oz (cw: past death, cigarrette & smoking mention, obsessive behavior)
Predictably, he doted on Oz in his squid form, talking to him and giving his tank little accessories and worrying over everything. Now that Oz was back to his original form, that hadn't changed. In fact, when he wasn't moping Gil was probably more attached to his best friend than ever. If Oz so much as sneezed or walked too hard on the floor, Gil would be running to his side and asking him if he felt feverish, did he trip, was his breakfast not enough--
But it didn't stop there. Gil couldn't stand the thought of Oz leaving the house--of anyone, other than him, going outside. He made that mistake already, he would die before he made it again.
It's extreme, and he hates himself for even considering it. But Oz in particular has a penchant for running into trouble, so using the excuse that he was going out bartering, Gil left, making sure to hide the padlocks in his room and try to seem as casual about everything as possible.
Now that he's approached Oz the next day and actually going to do it, going to lie to his master, he fears he might pass out from shame.]
Oz, ah--
[The grown man fidgets before he's even finished his lie to be caught in. His heart is filled with remorse. It seems cruel to lie to his master like this, even if it is for his own good...
But it is for his own good! Doing all of the mental gymnastics in his head, he reaches this same conclusion and nods to himself, right in front of Oz, which probably doesn't help his argument because he looks as if he's arguing with himself.]
I was wondering if you're free right now, could I get your input on a project that I'm working on in the library? I-- I want to make sure it's...your opinion would mean a lot to me!
[Internally, Gil weeps. Outwardly, he's a nervous wreck, but he hopes Oz attributes it to his normal skittishness. He hopes Oz will forgive him for this, but...even if he doesn't, even if he bullies him nonstop for this, his safety is what comes first. And the Library is a roomy space. It has some books, and Gil will glare and ban anyone from visiting when Oz is asleep.]
OTA, alice being wildly overprotective and having poor personal boundaries
It is very normal to be protective of people especially when many of those people have died or been grievously wounded in various fashions. This rule should not apply to Alice, she feels, as every time she has been hurt it has been mostly not really her fault. She recognizes the need for peace of mind and has elected to use the cunning tactic known as 'lying and then sneaking out', as is her Abyss-given right as a teenager. But more on that later.
Her tactics run to what she thinks of as considerate. She could lock people in their rooms but then they could get up to just about anything and wouldn't be able to interact with their favorite things and people. For the first part of the month she ambushes
the people she likes and also Breakjust about every resident and the occasional common visitor with nets and ropes and gets spicy when resisted. Oz might find himself tied to the sofa and plied with tea and books to keep him motivated to stay in one place, Gil might be pounced upon in the kitchen and tethered to the stove so he can still be useful. She is thinking about your needs.She is pretty easy to escape early on once she lets down her guard and stops watching her captives like a hawk. She's not confiscating anyone's sharp objects and isn't great at knots either.
Later in the month she discovers actual irons and manacles in the basement because of course they're in the basement and the difficulty rises. For everybody. Will she handcuff herself to her twin because she doesn't know what she'll get up to next? Of course. Does she remember where she left the key? She does not. There were a lot of keys. They are mostly in... places. It's fine. Anyone who Alice has interacted with like once can tag into this one and get a personalized response if they would like a nice surprise, she has a lot of feelings whether she feels like owning up to it or not. Nothing huge and bad has happened to Ada here - and thus that's the worst, does she know how bad a lot of these people would absolutely flip out if it did!!
[Secret Santa]
Alice is frequently inclined to escape the grounds entirely, on the grounds that they need provisions and junk and she doesn't trust you fools not to get in trouble doing it. This also means that she has to come back, with preferably as little fuss as possible... Which is to say, she sometimes scuttles down a chimney with a big sack of seafood and mushrooms and other necessary supplies she can lay her hands on easily. It's summer, nobody's lighting any fires. She considers herself quite stealthy but she does often leave sooty footprints on the carpets while skulking around and also does erupt out of the fireplace which is inherently very unstealthy.
One Hundred Years Dungeon
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Ruby is here for some post-action tea and refreshment all unsuspecting, and Alice is perfectly capable of suppressing her poor impulse control for a little tiny bit.
"Hey, Ruby. What's that sign on your choker mean?"
It's very in keeping with standard Alice behavior to hop around and be all up in Ruby's personal neck space.
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She blinks at the question and thumbs the cross on her choker briefly. Her eyes shift down to her skirt where there are a handful more.
"Well- It's kind of a symbol of life and death- of mourning I guess. Not that I'm actively mourning anyone but-
Well honestly I like them because my uncle wore them a lot. And I kind of followed suit." Ruby Rose doing things because it seems cool. It was a valid reason if there was any.
"But from my time in the dream it turns out they have a lot of religious significance on Earth. It's kind of cool that things like that transcend worlds."
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Alice can deeply understand doing things because someone you admire does them. Like, say, locking someone in a tower or similar. There is a soft jingling sound as she picks something up from the floor, where it has been semi-discretely coiled about.
"Crosses, wings... there's a couple gravestones here that have carvings of fruit on them, which I think is the right idea. If I ever die I want a marble plate on mine so my friends can have picnics next to it."
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"Have to agree with you about the fruit though. A picnic visit to a grave is always better than just getting all mopey." She knew a thing or two about this. She used to visit her moms gave all the time when it was within visiting distance.
She's feeling a little nostalgic though and misses Alice messing around with whatever was making that jingling sound.
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Click.
It is at this point that Alice snaps a cold metal collar around Ruby's neck. There's a chain on the end. It is honestly a nice and fashionable collar, albeit a heavy amount on the Hot Topic side of fashion.
"This should help!"
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And Ruby hears the click and there's a brief moment where she stares down at it in confusion. She sees the appeal of the Hot Topic kind of fashion, that was her jam. It's even got a few cool spike studs on it. It's the chain that gets her concerned and the fact that when she reaches up and starts to pull on the collar it doesn't come off right away.
"Uh- Alice- What's going on here?" Because she hasn't quite put it together yet. Despite all the traps that have been going off in the house.
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"You live here now, I've caught you!"
You're safe now, Ruby. No need to thank her. Well, you really should thank her. This was the best idea after all and she set it up all on her own. She deserves lots of praise. Alice looks so proud of herself.
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And while this was a whole lot more wholesome than the last attempt it did bring a sinister little smile to her lips. Especially when she just saw how proud Alice looked.
"But am I trapped here or are you trapped with me?" Alice's trap was genius, Ruby would give her that. But she still had her speed and arms free. Which she's going to use to quickly wrap around Alice and start tickling at her sides.
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"Ha, ha - help, it's a CURSE! Ha, laugh curse...! Ha ha ha!!"
She did not grow up among people who tickled and neither did other Alice, this is not in the lexicon. This is NEW GROUND. SHE HATES IT!! She does not hate it enough to not wish to inflict the curse upon others, of course.
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"How safe do you feel now!?"
One Hundred Years Dungeon
But it hadn't turned out that way. So Gil hides in the kitchen, taking his frustrations out on some innocent mushrooms and vegetables. He seems to have adjusted quickly to Scrabbles' presence, the hand holding them in place for them as he chops them with a knife, brows pinched and jaw tense in an intense expression.
If only he was stronger!
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It is complicated because it's easier to do things in the kitchen when Gil is not there but when he is there he is making tasty things and not somewhere in a Trench ditch with cursed mushrooms growing on him. And speaking of tasty things:
"Seaweed Head, what's that you're making? Give me some!"
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Gil's answer is curt. He's yet to glance in Alice's direction, but he did feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand when he heard the rustle of her skirts, alerting him of her presence. Lately, with the unusual way everyone has been acting, he has been more cautious than normal...but perhaps Alice is safe. She's too stupid to come up with any intricate plots, after all, and he's certain he'd notice if anything was off with her.
It's a bit of a breath of fresh air.
Had Alice asked him the same question not very long ago, when he was still experiencing his honeymoon phase with Trench, Gil probably would have indulged her a bit and let her taste test what he was cooking. But now Gil is a changed man (really!). He'll offer her more of an answer as he glares at his project with an intense expression.
"It's a stir-fry and it's not done yet."
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"Did you add the right spices for the mushrooms? You don't know about every mushroom yet. Let me taste it. I bet it needs more garlic."
Break has let her help in the kitchen for so long that she has developed a bit of an ego. This is known. This is also a good way to trick Gil into guarding the stovetop instead of himself. She can be quite cunning and manipulative when she bothers to make an effort at it instead of outsourcing all the plotting to her smart friends.
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He grumbles, pivoting on his foot closer to the stove to try and block Alice from the mushrooms. He assumes that's why she's doing this, because she's hungry. Well, that's just too bad. She'll have to wait.
"I already taste tested them beforehand and I put the right amount of garlic on it."
Gil sounds a little offended and maybe a tad hurt. There are few things he takes any pride in, and cooking happens to be one of them. Has his cooking not been up to par lately? Is he really that rusty...? Was everyone simply being polite when it came to eating what he made, and would they have preferred Break's cooking? His own doubts send him into an anxious spiral, as he starts muttering about all of the possibilities, temporarily forgetting about Alice's presence.
"ButperhapsitcouldusemoresaltandIcouldhavetriedharderyesterdaymaybeIhavenorighttobeinthiskitchen--"
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[It does not escape Break's attention that most of his household is acting funny, mostly because he himself keeps ending up with problems like nets falling on him while he's minding his business and waking up to a thoroughly padlocked door that obliges him to leave through his bedroom window in the morning and subsequently sneak back in through a door Gilbert hasn't found yet. Already half addled by Trench nonsense, none of this actually strikes him as anything he ought to do anything about. For one thing, most of his household is usually acting funny anyway, on account of everyone in it is a fucking weirdo. For another, this is hardly the first time attempts have been made to prevent Xerxes Break from getting up to his usual shenanigans, and it certainly isn't going to be the last.
And the more addled he gets, the more he thinks everyone is just being sensible about things, honestly. The world is especially wretched right now and they all have to protect one another in these trying times. But Break himself does not participate in the inner workings of the house.
No, Break is thinking bigger.
Last month as he and White Alice made up after her horrible possession incident, they bonded again by working together to install a thorn hedge around the house like in the sleeping princess movie they both like. At the time, it was meant to be aesthetic and charming. Break has now decided that making it bigger, thicker, and basically impenetrable is just the thing. No more worries about nasty beasts straying too close to the house and inspiring Oz to corrupt himself if they can't bloody well get in! They'll be prepared if those awful parasites come up out of the sea again in a couple months! They have a lamp for when they need to leave and Break is pretty sure someone booby-trapped it a couple days ago! This is a fantastic idea he is having here and all his kids will be so protected and if his thorns keep looking a whole lot more like very large knives that have been stuck to vines, well, what does anybody expect? He is no master magic-user but he does know swords. He makes it a point to festoon the thing with very pretty roses in a variety of amusing colors, and Alice can fix up any weirdnesses as she comes along behind.]
1B. Hopeless. A disgrace to the forces of evil.
[For bonus points, later on in the month, as Break tromps around the grounds with his skirt hiked up decorating his horrible thorn miasma he is sometimes followed around by a nightmare steed. It's stuck on the grounds within the hedge now, because it dared to stomp on one of White Alice's outdoor craft projects, and in a fit of pique she picked the thing up and hurled it across the garden with her own darkblood powers. Being perverse creatures by nature, it took a shine to her over this, and subsequently decided it likes everyone else in the house, too. Somehow, nobody is scared of it at all. Even the guy who screams a lot is too prone to shooting things on sight at the moment, so the nightmare steed accepts him too.
So it is that Break's current magical animal companions are his ghostly noodle dog with spectral glowing eyes and a weirdly playful carnivorous unicorn, who sometimes gets a little too close on purpose because it enjoys it when Break slaps its nose and scolds it or, if he's in an especially foul temper, outright draws his sword on the thing and has a nice duel. And, of course, at any given moment he might have a red-eyed crow on him, too. This is what he gets for wearing a pretty dress.]
2. Arm thyself with this enchanted shield of -- "virtue" is not at all the word we need here
[Sometimes, of course, the weather is simply too foul and Break is trapped inside. This does not render him any less productive. Ange has informed him that a creepy witch from home has shown up, and the obvious conclusion Break has drawn is that he needs to learn to fight witches now, just in case. He was already of a mind to figure out how to make shields with his darkblood powers, somehow. Now he's going to do it faster, and valiantly embrace his earlier conclusion that his loved ones need him to be adept at his stupid scary powers.
The bulk of his practice happens flat on his back on the kitchen floor, because it's sort of a little cooler down on the tile if you believe so in your heart very hard. When he is merely brooding, it is very easy to miss him entirely until you have tripped on him. But when he is practicing, anyone within hearing range will notice. This is because Break is modeling his shields on the auras the people from Remnant have, which means he is mostly conjuring swathes of purple light and attempting to will them solid, and there is only one way to test whether the light actually works as a shield.
Baltus is helpfully hurling things at him from elsewhere in the room, to see if they bounce off the light. Sometimes this includes pots and pans that Break really hates but has no excuse to replace because they are perfectly serviceable. Sometimes, because he is a dog, Baltus fucking misses and whatever he's just thrown goes crashing to the ground. Also, the shields aren't working yet, so Break is doing a lot of swearing when things hit him.
Probably this is why someone tried to lock him in his room that one morning. At the rate things are going, probably that is going to happen again.]
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The hedge is... bigger, than when she last checked. It's also full of lots of roses. Sisterrrrr....! And swords. Clowwwwwwnnnn....! She's gonna lock the both of them in the root cellar.
Fine fine fine she can get over a sword hedge. She's Alice she's great she's not going to ask for help and have people know she's actively sneakin'. They'll thwart her. She can get over a big hedge. She can jump very high. And land very lightly. She platforms up via the flats of the thorns. Security risk isn't in her vocabulary (many things are not in her vocabulary), she does not consider that other people could do this also.
She is also not, perhaps, as careful as she could have been. When she lands on the other side, there are big old rips in her big fluffy skirts, which have taken the bulk of the thorning. There is also big old rip in her leg right above the knee, which is glittering blood right into her boot. She doesn't care for this. ]
Shit!
[ Swearing makes her feel a little better. It is a wonderous technology. ]
Shit! Pissbuckets! Rotten cabbageass assfence!
[ She very stealthily limps in this fashion across the lawn. ]
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Baltus leans out below him. The unicorn leans out above him. Three heads all in a row, staring.]
"Cabbageass"? That one's new, I think. Did someone teach you that one or did you just make it up?
[Break's parenting skills are very lax, which is why he is an uncle instead and why Alice's mouth has been permitted to blossom into what it is. His reward for not discouraging her in this at all ever is that now it is Gilbert's problem, which is always fun for the whole family. Baltus, a little more keen on the uptake as usual, trots over to investigate her injured knee.]
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It's an original creation! Now what's THIS doing here, who made that one up?!
[ Rhetorical question but she is pointing indignantly at the big honking excuse for cabbage - this stabbing nightmare- the stabbage, if you will (we will not) which is right! Here! On! The! Lawn! ]
Don't you make that stupid face at me, pissclown!
[ Kaine just gave her some vocab and demonstrated her unique florid turns of phrase. Alice has assembled them into this new artform. ]
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[This is way funnier than it isn't. Break can't be bothered to be irritated. If anything, he's pleased that she's provoking him, because it's basically an excuse for him to mess with her in turn. He has yet to be truly affected by the Reckoning's drive for vengeance in all things, but her influence over the city this month certainly isn't doing the vicious petty streak he already had any favors.
Break has mellowed significantly since arriving in Trench, but the sickening sweet smile and tone he takes on are mannerisms Alice is very familiar with.]
Your darling sister and I built this lovely hedge. Given all the nastiness going on outside this days, I'm improving it. [By making it nastier than the nastiness, you see.] If you can still get over it, I've clearly got to make it even bigger, don't you think?
[Baltus, meanwhile, does not like the look of Alice's leg. He growls at it, a truly menacing sound coming from a noodle, and delivers a single sharp bark in Break's direction.]
-- oh dear, so it did get you.
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comforttactical stability. With him sniffing at her leg they form a sort of pretzel. ]If you love it so much why don't you move your bedroom right into it!! See how much you like the thorns then!!
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[In theory, she could have already discovered this herself, but Break would never accuse Alice of being patient enough to do a full circuit of the barrier in her way if she believed she could just hop right over. Waving a hand vaguely -- the gesture still looks sad and pathetic without his doofy long sleeves of old -- Break shuffles over, despite the hissing.]
Let's have a look at that wound, yes?
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[ Break is completely correct in his assumptions. And speaking of assumptions. ]
How can you look at it when you're blind?! Baltus can look at it.
[ She sticks out her leg but still behind the shield of dog, in petty protest. Alice if he was actually blind that wouldn't do anything... ]
1/cracks knuckles
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Geez.
Alright. Alright. Okay. Break has a choice here and he needs to think fast.]
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Wait.]
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happy birthday
Actually, I'm able to see through this fetching new eye your sister gave me.
[This is true. And also gives her zero indication that the other one works also. And also may or may not send her screeching into her sister's room later, which is always funny. Perfect. Baltus is trying desperately not to wheeze and fall over.]
best birthday ever
[ Can she do that - well, clearly she can, since she did?? Alice has not seen the new eye outside of the introduction of it which was a pretty intense experience for all involved it's not like she was looking to see if he was looking at it?? Wait. ]
Then why've you got your hair over it?! Can you see through stuff, like those skeleton rays?? Can you see my skeleton with your hair up.
[ No WONDER he likes a skeleton pirate, that has to be the natural order of things by now... Look. Alice is at the midpoint of learning to question things and think on her own and also being... Alice. Being wrong about things is how we practice getting to be right at things. The good news is that she's so completely baffled that she's forgotten to hiss. She could resume if she felt like it, mind you! She's now draped halfway over Baltus, leaning forward suspiciously. ]
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[Letting his hair fall, Break dips his head to hide most of his expression. His shoulders are shaking a little. With angst. Not because he's trying not to laugh or anything because she just keeps making everything funnier somehow.]
Ah, eventually, rather. It takes a while to watch the flesh rot off your bones first, you know? Child of Misfortune stuff I think, seeing through time and all that.
[It sees corruption. Probably. He thinks. It's different for everybody? He's still figuring it out and does not actually enjoy it.]
I was thinking I might need an eyepatch, to protect myself from the horrors. It's got to be a really cool one, though.
[This is also true.]
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[ Alice makes a very huffy face as if she means she is denying him out of pettiness and not because she has a massive fuckin ouchie. ]
You can't trust just anyone to know how cool an eyepatch is.
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And you can't blame me for not spilling! You won't go spreading this around, will you? Imagine if Gilbert knew I could see his skeleton. He'd run screaming back into the sea.
[The same protective urge that has him out here working on the hedge in the first place simmers in the back of his brain. This is an acceptable situation. He does not want Alice out there beating up pirates on his behalf anyway, even though she did just fine doing exactly that before he even knew she was in Trench and he wound up with a pair of cool boots for it.]
Perhaps we might work out a deal? You let me sort out your leg, and I'll have you design a patch for me. We can skip the pirates entirely and have it made ourselves.
[...he is appealing directly to her ego to keep her out of trouble here, but let's be real, Xerxes Break would absolutely go around with an Alice original on his head and tell everyone who made faces at it that one of his kids made it for him, like some weird demented blood world version of showing off gifted macaroni art.]