House Log 004: Do you wanna build a snowmaaaaaaaan --

[payingfordeliverance]

Who: Residents of Pandora House and Frequent Intruders
What: In which, while the rest of the game loses its collective shit, at Pandora House we try and fail to conjure magic winter while playing musical chairs in regards to who is locking who up to keep them safe at any given time
When: Throughout July
Where: Paaaaaandora House

Content warnings: Marked in threads accordingly, mostly just people being wildly overprotective

Comments

[payingfordeliverance]

But you see, my bedroom is within it, and so is yours. This hedge goes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way around the house.

[In theory, she could have already discovered this herself, but Break would never accuse Alice of being patient enough to do a full circuit of the barrier in her way if she believed she could just hop right over. Waving a hand vaguely -- the gesture still looks sad and pathetic without his doofy long sleeves of old -- Break shuffles over, despite the hissing.]

Let's have a look at that wound, yes?

[velvet_teen]

Uuugh, why, that's stupid, it's stupid and so is your stupid faaaace.

[ Break is completely correct in his assumptions. And speaking of assumptions. ]

How can you look at it when you're blind?! Baltus can look at it.

[ She sticks out her leg but still behind the shield of dog, in petty protest. Alice if he was actually blind that wouldn't do anything... ]

1/cracks knuckles

[payingfordeliverance]

[What.]

[payingfordeliverance]

[Wait. Waaaaaait, wait wait. Does. Does this Alice still believe that he is blind...?]

[payingfordeliverance]

[Break fixed it like nine months ago or something. True, his eyesight does dip out again from time to time, but that just means he's even better now at his technique for bringing it back. Has she seriously been thinking otherwise his entire time?]

[payingfordeliverance]

[Which in turn means that this entire time no onE HAS TOLD HER --]

[payingfordeliverance]

[Holy shit.]

[payingfordeliverance]

[This is the funniest thing to happen since that silly anonymous post where Ruby lost it and challenged her own uncle to a duel in her uncle's honor.

Geez.

Alright. Alright. Okay. Break has a choice here and he needs to think fast.]

[payingfordeliverance]

[Does he keep the ruse going for as long as possible in the hopes that the inevitable reveal will just get funnier and funnier, or does he casually drop the truth on her now and then stand here gloating in the smoldering ashes of whatever chance this girl has left of having a nice day today?]

[payingfordeliverance]

[Both of these sound satisfying in their own ways, honestly. Like choosing between chocolate cake and funfetti. Either way, Break gets to have his cake and eat it too --

Wait.]

[payingfordeliverance]

[No, no, he's got it. BRILLIANT. Ugh, there is just no end to your genius when you are Xerxes Break.]

happy birthday

[payingfordeliverance]

[Smiling placidly, Break shoves his bangs back, exposing his entire face for once -- and the awful gemstone that now resides in his left eye socket.]

Actually, I'm able to see through this fetching new eye your sister gave me.

[This is true. And also gives her zero indication that the other one works also. And also may or may not send her screeching into her sister's room later, which is always funny. Perfect. Baltus is trying desperately not to wheeze and fall over.]

best birthday ever

[velvet_teen]

AUUUGH~!

[ Can she do that - well, clearly she can, since she did?? Alice has not seen the new eye outside of the introduction of it which was a pretty intense experience for all involved it's not like she was looking to see if he was looking at it?? Wait. ]

Then why've you got your hair over it?! Can you see through stuff, like those skeleton rays?? Can you see my skeleton with your hair up.

[ No WONDER he likes a skeleton pirate, that has to be the natural order of things by now... Look. Alice is at the midpoint of learning to question things and think on her own and also being... Alice. Being wrong about things is how we practice getting to be right at things. The good news is that she's so completely baffled that she's forgotten to hiss. She could resume if she felt like it, mind you! She's now draped halfway over Baltus, leaning forward suspiciously. ]

[payingfordeliverance]

-- yes.

[Letting his hair fall, Break dips his head to hide most of his expression. His shoulders are shaking a little. With angst. Not because he's trying not to laugh or anything because she just keeps making everything funnier somehow.]

Ah, eventually, rather. It takes a while to watch the flesh rot off your bones first, you know? Child of Misfortune stuff I think, seeing through time and all that.

[It sees corruption. Probably. He thinks. It's different for everybody? He's still figuring it out and does not actually enjoy it.]

I was thinking I might need an eyepatch, to protect myself from the horrors. It's got to be a really cool one, though.

[This is also true.]

[velvet_teen]

Well, you should have said so before your stupid hedge took a bite out of me; I'm not going to go out and raid a pirate ship for you now.

[ Alice makes a very huffy face as if she means she is denying him out of pettiness and not because she has a massive fuckin ouchie. ]

You can't trust just anyone to know how cool an eyepatch is.

[payingfordeliverance]

[That she would immediately promote herself to this duty is a little cute, honestly. It helps Baltus get a hold of himself and stand there like a proper placid crutch.]

And you can't blame me for not spilling! You won't go spreading this around, will you? Imagine if Gilbert knew I could see his skeleton. He'd run screaming back into the sea.

[The same protective urge that has him out here working on the hedge in the first place simmers in the back of his brain. This is an acceptable situation. He does not want Alice out there beating up pirates on his behalf anyway, even though she did just fine doing exactly that before he even knew she was in Trench and he wound up with a pair of cool boots for it.]

Perhaps we might work out a deal? You let me sort out your leg, and I'll have you design a patch for me. We can skip the pirates entirely and have it made ourselves.





[...he is appealing directly to her ego to keep her out of trouble here, but let's be real, Xerxes Break would absolutely go around with an Alice original on his head and tell everyone who made faces at it that one of his kids made it for him, like some weird demented blood world version of showing off gifted macaroni art.]