Vyng Vang Zoombah (
spiritwalks) wrote in
deercountry2022-07-28 04:59 pm
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Entry tags:
But Still the Days Seem the Same [CLOSED]
Who: Obi-Wan
jedies and Vyng
spiritwalks
What: A chill evening in an empty, abandoned bar
When: Very beginning of July
Where: Colonel Dan's in Red Cellar
Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable
((From here))
When they step inside, they're met by darkness pierced only by slivers of lamplight from the alley. Silence — rare in the entertainment district — blankets the place like dusty tarps draped over old furniture.
Vyng flips the switch. A warm glow spills onto a mahogany bar top, an empty stage, and the vacant booths lining the far wall. Nobody is here.
"Welcome to..." Laughter quietly colors Vyng's words. "This. Place."
(He forgot the name.)
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![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
What: A chill evening in an empty, abandoned bar
When: Very beginning of July
Where: Colonel Dan's in Red Cellar
Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable
((From here))
When they step inside, they're met by darkness pierced only by slivers of lamplight from the alley. Silence — rare in the entertainment district — blankets the place like dusty tarps draped over old furniture.
Vyng flips the switch. A warm glow spills onto a mahogany bar top, an empty stage, and the vacant booths lining the far wall. Nobody is here.
"Welcome to..." Laughter quietly colors Vyng's words. "This. Place."
(He forgot the name.)
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You know, I think I figured why I miss shapeshifting. [He pours a shot into the newer (clean) glass he'd retrieved moments ago.] It's kind of embarrassing, though.
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I thought I missed the sensations that came with flying. Or running on all fours. Or the spiritual connection of channeling another creature's essence.
That wasn't quite it, though. Not really. Because I can experience those things in other ways.
[He nods toward the cloud cat, who's insistently pawing at Obi-Wan's glass now.]
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I suppose it just took some time to rediscover that.
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[That's true. Maybe it wasn't the same, but of course it wouldn't be. Not after Eagle's rejection in the Spirit World, or losing control over his shapeshifting in the Dream. Certainly not after the Summoning Stones. But "different" doesn't mean "gone". He hadn't been cut off from the natural world, nor had he truly lost those connections. They were still with him, just in other ways.
But in rediscovering that, he was forced to confront what might be the bigger source of pain in all this.]
The one thing I still can't do. . . is be seen as one.
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As a shapeshifter?
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[He layers some more spirits and adds a bit of a mixer. Then with a snap of his fingers, a tiny fire-cat leaps up from the liquid with a tiny mew! — and gracefully dissolves into embers.]
One time? Before I met Billie or Tuck, I rented myself out as a horse for awhile. As far as anybody in town knew, I was a regular work animal. [He traces a finger along the edge of the glass, leaving bits of decorative, frosted glass in its wake.]
This one dude, though — he was a mean old man. He barely wanted anything to do with anybody, and he stank of alcohol more often than not. You could tell he was miserable. [ Finally, he places the drink in front of Obi-Wan, his expression soft.]
But when he saw me at the stables, his eyes lit up like a kid on Charles Eve.
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What happened then?
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[That man, unbeknownst to many, held so much tenderness close to his chest. And for a few fleeting moments, Vyng was privileged enough to be on the receiving end of it.]
I'd been on my own for so long. I'd almost forgotten. . .
["What unconditional love feels like," he thinks. But the words stay lodged in his throat. It hurts. With a watery smile, he just shakes his head and reaches to collect the empty glasses from the countertop.]
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Sometimes, that's all a person needs. You must have meant a great deal to him.
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[A pause.]
After awhile I was like, "Wow, this feels amazing. Thank you, sir." The color drained right out of his face.
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What made you reveal yourself?
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I don't know. It felt good to say.
[He considers the question for a moment longer, expression pensive. Quietly, he adds:]
I guess . . . there was a part of me that enjoyed it, and a part of me that didn't. It felt like love. It was nice being taken care of without having to ask for it. But I was hiding a lot of things about myself, too.
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[ it is a lie of sorts and will remain a lie still, even if it is beneficial. ]
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[He always gave half-truths or bald-faced lies whenever people asked about his past. Now it all feels like a fuzzy dream, and he isn't sure he could stitch it all together into any kind of cohesive picture anymore. Maybe it's a blessing from Mariana, or maybe it speaks to Vyng's own stubbornness in carving a new life for himself. He doesn't worry about it, though. All he can do now is give himself to his own inner-work, to the best of his ability, for the sake of building authentic connections with others.]
[Brightly, he adds:] . . . On the plus side, the guy went home and rethought his life. Kicked the booze and really turned things around for himself, last I heard.
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[ not that anything ever truly ends, but it's enough to leave someone with.
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[He vigorously dries the glass with a barmop towel, with the nonchalance of somebody who's done it a thousand times.]
People in the Dream were bigger fans of hanging out with a wise-cracking animal sidekick. Some of them preferred me that way, I think. [A hint of laughter colors his words, although his eyes are a little sad when he adds:] Can't say I blame them.
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Perhaps not, but I think you're allowed to judge them a little. On a lack of self-acceptance.
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[Vyng doesn't feel sorry for himself. And while he can judge people for petty things when he wants to, this isn't one of them.]
I mean, there are children here. Ones without any parents or support. Which do you think they'd rather talk to? A 7-foot monster man, or a cute little bird?
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thanks for your patience!
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