deercountry | ( open ) I can't control withering wonders

[ she raises a dark brow beneath her messy bangs when she notices the pinch in his expression but doesn't say anything ]

I'm half my mother but I don't have a knack for tailoring clothes nor do I crumble under cult pressure. [ to her, there's no logic there. ]

Fair point.

Still, considering who my father was, it's unlikely I'll escape the vampire stereotypes.

[ at the mention of his father, she takes another sip of her wine, expression turning a little thoughtful. everything she knows about dracula, she's learned from fiction. ]

Can I ask what he was like as you were growing up?

[ alucard falls silent for a moment, tipping the wine back and forth in his glass. ]

He was like any other father. Strict at times, warm during others.

That's a cop-out answer if I've ever heard one. [ she says bluntly but doesn't try to press him ]

My dad tried to not be too strict, and give me little freedoms where he could, but he was protective. It got worse when I was fifteen, though. A man attacked us in our own house, came at us with a weapon and my dad had to kill him. After that, he got a little stricter, taught me how to shoot, and made sure I always had a phone on me from then on out.

He was a damn good dad. I keep hoping I'll go to the beach when all the newbie squids start washing up and find him out there. I definitely miss him.

[ alucard hums lightly. ]

It is and it isn't. My father was Dracula. The greatest vampire the world has ever known. A general of Hell itself, the scourge of the Eastern region. He was the greatest repository of human and magical knowledge. None of this, he kept from me.

But he sat by my bed. Told me stories. Held my hand.

[ his hand goes to his chest where his scar remains. ]

And cut me down in his grief.

[ a frown tugs at her lips ]

His grief broke him. [ she saw his end. saw how he was as his actions dawned on him. there was something uniquely heartwrenching about it all and, still, it's not an image she can get out of her head. she takes a much larger sip of her wine, gaze distant. ]

You woke him up in the end.

Yes. And it meant something.

[ at least, for alucard. but he knows it does not dismiss the sheer damage and devastation dracula wreaked upon the world. the murdered, the innocent, the bloodletting. it was cataclysmic. ]

But he was still Dracula.

I couldn't have done what you did. [ her words hitch in her throat and she has to take another sip of wine to continue ] Maybe it's because I've been there, felt that kind of grief and rage, or maybe it's because seeing that broke my heart. But I couldn't have done what you did.

[ she's not disparaging his choice or questioning it but admiring it and the strength of will and mental fortitude it took to do ]

[ alucard falls silent. his gaze seems fixed on the wine in his glass. ]

. . . Perhaps it is for the best. That I could do such a thing that no one else could.

I-I don't know about that. I mean, it's going to haunt you for the rest of your life, Alucard. [ she wants to tell him that it's not fair but he already knows it's not fair. he had to do something no child should ever have to do. she saw him shake as his father reached out; saw the look of horror and pain in his eyes. ]

That is how it should be. When it comes to the slaying of kin.

[ he knows he's haunted. by the deaths, by the last screams he heard. and he's made some progress in moving forward, but it'll never go away. ]

Could no one else have killed him? Do you feel like you deserve to be haunted for doing what you thought was best? [ she's killed family before and... she doesn't think it haunts her. what they did, that is what haunts her. ]

I doubt there was anyone else powerful enough to kill Dracula. Or would have tried.

[ even within the vampiric court, that would have been difficult. ]

And regardless of what is best . . . he was still my father. I am his son.

[ she leans back into the couch, feet pulled up beneath her, as she frowns lightly. ]

He is and you are and I think you did what he would've wanted. [ in fact, it almost seemed like he let him. ]

. . . Yes. In his heart, he knew.

[ the world's longest suicide note, alucard had called it. he had been right, but it was a terrible thing to be right about. ]

[ she falls quiet as she sips at the wine in her glass, frowning, and turns her attention to the fireplace, gaze distant. ]

That's what matters. [ that he knew. that he let it. that he came to his senses, if just a little, in the end. jesus, this is dark. ]

I totally didn't drag you out here to get all sad, by the way. My brain just keeps getting stuck on it. How about we talk about something lighter, huh?

[ that brings a faint smile to his lips. alucard is used to these topics so he didn't mind all that much. ]

What did you have in mind?

How about you tell me what you like to do in your spare time in this crazy place? [ she leans forward like she's gossiping ] What do you do for fun?

[ alucard has the grace to look a little sheepish. ]

Actually, that is the part I have yet to discover.

[ she smiles lightly and gives a soft, understanding hum ]It took me a couple of months to find something myself. I ended up getting the advice that I should do what I enjoyed back home.

So, what did you enjoy doing back home?

Sadly, I did not do anything in particular. After . . . my parents passed, all I did was take care of the castle and the hold.

I had . . . nothing else.

[ Oh. Oh. That is very sad, Alucard. ] It... It happens. I've always heard depression takes everything we love from us.

What did you enjoy before all that? [ before his parents passed but she doesn't want to say that. she doesn't want him to think of their deaths, she just wants him to think of before. ] Did you read or write? Paint? Ride horses? Something nerdier, maybe? Like research?

I was taught in all of those subjects.

[ and once he grew up, it was easier to absorb them all. he is a vampire by nature. ]

But I'm not sure if I would consider them to be passions.

It doesn't have to be a passion for you to find it enjoyable, Alucard. I'm not exactly passionate about astronomy but I sometimes enjoy stargazing.

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