deercountry | (closed) october catchall

Entry tags:

(closed) october catchall

Who: Daniel and various others.
What: October shenanigans.
When: During all of October.
Where: Locations vary.

Content Warnings: None so far, will edit if this changes.

( starters in the comments! if you want to plot anything with me, feel free to either pm the journal or contact me at

queeningsquare. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Talk about the weirdest possible way to find out about one of your friend's kinks.

Because the Omen sure seems responsive to that. If anything - he almost seems a little too responsive. The dog-lion-like creature leans as much into the hand as he can possibly manage, even letting out a low, content sound when Pyrrha starts talking like that. Yup, someone here sure is enjoying being called a good boy. Tell him he's the good boy!! The best boy!!

And while Daniel is pretty focused on grabbing all the stuff he promised he'd get and putting on the tea, there's still.. some sensation there, since the Omen is basically part of his soul. An odd sensation coming over him that tickles him on the inside, making the very tips of his ears glow with a blush, even if he has absolutely no idea about the cause.

(Which might be for the better. The last thing Daniel needs to know is that people can trigger his praise kink from a distance.)

Though the drinks aren't quite ready, he at least returns to the room carrying pillows and blankets, dumping the former on the couch first before he glances over at Pyrrha and the Omen.

"Making friends already, huh?"

He's totally oblivious.

She grins at the omen. Oh yeah, that's useful to know for the next time she gets sucked back into a memory. Hard to balance it coming from Johnny, but she's sure it's manageable. Especially with the heads up. Pyrrha's smile's a touch mischievous as she praises the omen. She says, "Oh yes, you are a good boy, a very good boy. I can tell looking at you. Yeah, bet you're great at comfort and cuddles, good boy."

She glances up at Daniel. "Yes," Pyrrha says, "Quick friends. Have a kid back home who's not here who wouldn't forgive me if I let a good doggaboy like him pass me by without some scritches." That ache pulls at her, all the more for everything she suspects about Nona.

"I appreciate omens cannot readily be injured," Pyrrha says. That makes it a lot safer while providing much of the same animal companionship.

Daniel nods. "They make for good companions."

It's why his Omen is here in the first place, after all. Daniel can think of quite a few people he's never seen with their Omens before - most people he knows, in fact. But as long as he's at home, he can't help but keep the creature out. Otherwise it would just be Daniel here, after all.

And while the Omen is still technically Daniel, in a sense - it still feels a little less lonely.

He moves to put the blankets down over the armrests of the couch for use once they sit down.. though that odd feeling is still bothering him, just a little. What is it, even? Why is it stronger when Pyrrha is busy ~~baby~~ dog talking his Omen? Maybe he shouldn't think about it too hard, instead speaking up again once he's done putting down the blankets, his hands freed once more.

"I'm not surprised to see you get along so well with them though. You're a warm person."

Sure, it might not be the first word he's go to when describing Pyrrha - probably opting for smart first - but he thinks it's true all the same. She's been pretty good to him ever since they've met, after all, and Daniel certainly can't say that about every single person he knows in his life.

Confident enough in the results and having praised the unusually shaped dog omen a good amount, Pyrrha settles into some normal scritches, wherever the omen leans into it most. Wake would still laugh at this, but she'd take notice too. Anything that can be used as a weapon. The two of them are alike like that.

Her omen stretches out at home, staying behind where she can provide comfort of her own, receive scritches, and permit Pyrrha to keep an eye on things. Such a big ask, she jokes to herself.

"He's welcome to join the cuddling in my opinion," Pyrrha says, smiling. "Kind of makes it a Daniel sandwich." Human/squid on one side, dog omen on the other.

She watches Daniel moving about, wondering how many other people would choose to describe her that way. The kids, perhaps? Some of them, at least. A fair few have gotten her serious treatment, calling them out on bullshit, same as she does with adults.

"I'm still getting used to it," Pyrrha says, "Getting to be warm with people again." Ten thousand years of near total social isolation, or those interactions having strict nearly always having deep chasms of rank between them. That interferes with the ability for an equal relationship, one where that can be set aside. One of the nice things about some antagonism to those later relationships, mildly with Nonius and ardently with Wake. Being mortal enemies puts you on common ground.

Oh, god.

"Let's not make the term 'Daniel sandwich' a regular thing," he remarks. Though Daniel seems kind of amused himself about it as he's saying it - considering who it's coming from, there are plenty of people he'd be snappier about that kind of thing with - as he shakes his head with a faint laugh. "But.. sure, have him join in. You can pick him up and take him with you to the couch, he doesn't mind."

If anything, Pyrrha will find that Daniel's Omen very much likes being carried, apparently leaning into the maximum physical affection.

"Get yourself comfortable with one of those blankets too. I'll grab the drinks, and then join you-- and then we'll see if we can make up for some of your lost warm time in the past, huh?"

You know. By getting all comfortable and maybe even a little cuddly on the couch, like the sleepy coldbloods they are.

Pyrrha deserves it, if there's truly something that kept her from being able to do so before. She seems like way too good of a person to be held back from that sort of thing. And Daniel himself.. well, considering the anxiety that Terry's arrival has brought up within him, he deserves something to help him relax too.

"Just between you and me," Pyrrha replies. She won't promise not to tease him, but she can keep it to settings like these, only the two of them. No one else needs to know. It's an easy secret to keep.

Pyrrha picks up the omen, who's quite the armful, and leans her head against his. "If I did this back where I was, I'd never be able to stop Nona from bringing a dog home," Pyrrha mutters in the omen's ear. That'd only end in tragedy. Nona is loud enough on her own. It's hard to explain not barking to a dog. One more small reason she hasn't been able to be as warm as she may like. Survival comes first. Taking care of her people.

Sitting in the middle, setting the omen to one side, Pyrrha reaches for one ot the blankets to wrap around her. She finds an extremely warm, soft, living blanket leaned across her space and looking up at her. "I said cuddles, didn't I," Pyrrha tells him. She partially wraps the blanket around her and continues to give the pets.

She's used to feeling this from the other end. Cinnabar's sweet and cuddly with others at Bone House. Whether she's hunting, gambling, or at work, she can feel that comfort through the connection. It makes everything a little easier. Unfortunately, the omen cannot sleep for her and let her get more done. It's nice like this too. She expects her month will involve much more cuddles and similar physical intimacy than she otherwise would have, with this sleepy exhaustion.

Daniel is truly trusting you here, Pyrrha. Why else would he actually smile and nod at her saying that it's just between the two of them? It's because he trusts her to tease responsibly.

Unlike some other people he knows.

But that's the only reaction he gives before disappearing into another room again, ready to make the tea now the water's ready. It takes only a few moments for him to emerge from the kitchen again with a tray - with two cups of tea on it, but also two smaller shot glasses with something stronger. Look, sometimes you need something a little more to get through a Terry-filled month, okay.

The man smiles a little when he spots Pyrrha already half-settled in on the couch, and the way the Omen already seems content and cuddled up with her. It's not too much of a surprise to Daniel, since the creature does the same thing when he's trying to sleep. (He's never minded it.)

Once he's done putting it all down, he moves to sit down on the couch next to Pyrrha, moving some of the pillows to get himself more comfortable and fully dragging the blankets over the three of them this time around.

"You know, this was a great idea." The getting comfortable with pillows and blankets part, that is. It's not really something Daniel thought about doing with a friend, but now he is doing it? He's rather comfortable, especially with how tired he's been for all of this month so far. "I think I needed this."

Part of Pyrrha's body wants to let go and nap right then. Warm comfortable spot with good company? Forcing her eyes open, she uses her free hand to support a mug in the small position of her lap not occupied by omen. That warmth is comfortable too, but the knowledge she'll spill if she zones out too quickly keeps her awake.

"Me too," Pyrrha sighs, "Hell, it's probably good for us without getting tired like five year olds." Except people are so used to keeping their distance, even her. Being kicked in the face with it like this makes her reassess. Even at work, which is more astonishing.

She eyes the second set of beverages on the tray. "What's on your mind?" Pyrrha asks. She turns her head more his way and really looks at him. He's tired. They're both tired, but there's more. Johnny? Robby? Something else? She doesn't try to guess. He invited her, he'll tell her. Pushing too hard doesn't help.

He breathes out, traces of a faint smile on his face. "I can't hide anything from you, huh?"

.. Not that it's hard to guess. Somewhere between him inviting her over like this, and the specific drinks involved here.. The only saving grace for Daniel is the fact that their shared coldblood makes him look tired enough for it to mask the exhaustion his constant stress over Terry Silver brings.

Still, rather than feeling just embarrassed about being found out.. It's also kind of nice, in a weird way. Having someone understand you well enough to know when something is bothering you. He hopes to be able to be someone like that for Pyrrha in return too.

Right now though, he focuses on her question after that brief pause. It's not always easy for Daniel to be open or honest, but he tries.

"Someone else from home showed up earlier this month. Terry Silver. A tall guy with grey hair, pulled back in a ponytail."

He's not sure whether or not Pyrrha ran into the guy - so he figures he might as well add that description, just in case. (After all, he's pretty sure she'll know what he means instantly if she did meet him.)

"He's.." See, this is the part where Daniel struggles. It always feels so hard to describe everything between him and Terry when most of it is a mess he'd rather never touch. Like sticking your hand into a pit of snakes. You'd rather just not. "We have a history, I guess. And not in the way Johnny and I do. You know I actually want to get along with that guy."

(Don't tell Johnny he said that though, okay. This is bestie talk! Bestie secrets. The ones best shared while sitting there under blankets together, apparently.)

"Silver-- he's just a psychopath. I'm terrified of what he could do to people while he's stuck in this place."

A warm beverage, cozy company, and a heart wrenching topic. It's the makings of the best sort of sleepovers. Daniel and his history. She remembers the way it tore at him in the memory as Johnny, if perhaps earlier along than either of them are now. Someone else, someone worse? Someone, she suspects, that comes from that older Cobra Kai that hurt Daniel so much. That expression she saw wasn't just Johnny. It was all of Cobra Kai.

The kind that doesn't care to mean well. At least not beyond whoever is in his group.

"It makes sense that you're terrified," Pyrrha says, "We have a mixed group of many people's worst nightmares, and he's one of yours. The Pthumerians can handle any of them, any of us, but there's a lot of space they give us to do with as we please."

There, there. With everything and everyone Trench has managed to handle, she's sure they can and will. It's hard to feel that when its your bogeyman.

"I'm worried about what he could do to you and the other karates," Pyrrha says, "even simply being here. Someone like that can be a catalyst to a lot of fuckery. You're still hurt and hurting and probably going to get hurt again."

She sighs.

Considering that this particular topic is one that has always been hard for Daniel to open up about to anyone, he doesn't say anything for a moment. He just breathes, and sits there quietly, like he's taking in everything that Pyrrha is saying. If it wasn't for the fact that his eyes are wide open, it would have been easy to assume he just drifted off, especially with how tired both of them are this week.

But-- no, Daniel is still fully aware. It's just hard to know where to start, what to say. Even when he tried to explain this to the people closest to him, he just clammed up. No matter how much Daniel trusts Pyrrha, it's still hard to explain just what Terry is to him, in what ways Terry Silver has hurt him, ruined him. Even though there's something.. both a little embarrassing and a little nice in what she's saying. The acknowledgement of his hurt - a hurt that Daniel himself can ever hardly explain, that most people who don't bother to get to know him better tend to look right over, assuming that he's fine.

He swallows, and then slowly speaks up with what he can say.

"I'm worried too," he admits. At least he can say that much. "He seems to have something against Johnny for something that happened beyond the point in time any of us come from. I'm worried he's just.. going to charge over to Silver like an idiot, and that Silver will hurt him, or worse. I don't think he'd even hesitate to kill him."

Not here. Maybe back home something would stop him, if not just the fact that it'd be harder to cover it up. But there's no societal standing Terry Silver has to take into account here. He can just go wild.

It makes Daniel's hands shake, and the Omen moves underneath the blanket until the dog-like creature is sprawled out over both their laps, like he's trying to bring Daniel some comfort as well.

"And then there's Robby and Tory. They used to train under him, and maybe Silver would want to get to them again because of it. Or if he finds out how much I care about Robby-- there's no telling what he might do then."

.. of course he's leaving something out here, huh. Not even on purpose. Daniel is probably the one among them who's in the most danger, given Terry Silver's fixation on him, but it's like he doesn't even want to consider that. Like he's so much more worried about the wellbeing of the other 'karates', as Pyrrha has lovingly dubbed them, than about his own.

His body shifts, leaning a little bit more against Pyrrha. Daniel probably doesn't even consciously realise he's doing it, like there's a part of him subconsciously seeking out some form of comfort.

"I.. just wish I could keep them all safe from him."

Naturally, almost everything Daniel says is about other people. No doubt, Johnny may get his ass handed to him. If he dies, at least they are in Trench. He'll come back. Pyrrha holds little hope something like one piddling death is enough to teach Johnny to stop and think. It could be the start of something. Terry cannot permanently keep Johnny down. That's something.

The reverse is true too. Terry Silver cannot simply be shoved into a box and set on a shelf. The only way to escape him is to heal and to move on. Once he longer matters to the karates, he cannot meaningfully hurt them. Easier said than done.

Pyrrha wraps one arm around Daniel and gives a gentle squeeze. "Good news and bad news," Pyrrha says, "No you cannot wrap them in blankets so thick nothing can touch them. Bad news, Terry may do everything you listed—kill Johnny, train Robby and Tory. Though, honestly, killing Johnny probably would cause some kind of rift between him and Robby, no matter how Robby feels toward Johnny right now. I'm guessing it's not literally murderous." She waves that off with the hand holding her mug.

"The good news stems from something else you said," Pyrrha continues, "If he finds out how much I care. Whatever his beef with Johnny, either your ego went up five sizes or Terry Silver's focused on you. I bet the latter. The power's in your hands. You can keep pulling your heart out of your chest for him to squeeze to smithereens or you can work through your shit.

"You had, what, decades without him back home? You compartmentalized and lived your life. Trench is too small for that. Drain that wound and treat it. Empower yourself. Once you've done that, you'll be untouchable in all the ways that matter."

She drinks in the warmth. "What's it going to be, karate kid?" One step at a time.

God, this is a lot. And maybe not necessarily in a good way. This is the exact thing Daniel struggles with, even though Pyrrha is basically pressing his face straight into the issue. Thinking about it by himself, overanalysing, overthinking - that's all normal. He's considered the problem of Terry Silver so many times by now that he's pretty sure he can't have a single new thought about it anymore.

But talking about it, vocalising anything, sharing it with another person.. that's new, and so much harder. How does he put all of his feelings about Terry Silver into words that another person can understand? Sure, he told Robby, but he definitely was a little vague on the stuff that really got to him, and it helped that Robby at least had some idea, having experienced the man himself.

(Is there anyone else in Trench you could talk to about it, Robby had asked, and while Daniel had thought that if he could talk to anyone, it'd be Pyrrha, that still doesn't make it feel less impossible in this moment.)

"I.." Daniel starts, tries. His throat feels so dry, and there's a tiny part of him that feels so awkward and hurt about this subject that he feels like curling right into Pyrrha's side even further, though he manages to mostly just keep his light lean against her, that arm across his shoulders. ".. I don't know how," he slowly admits.

His toes curl out of embarrassment. It's not even anything dumb like a matter of pride, it's just him feeling so clumsy whenever he tries to actually put his feelings into words. Like he can't convey anything well.

"I don't know how to get him out." Out of him, out of his mind, out of his heart, out of the corner of his soul that Terry Silver seems to have permanently sunk his claws into.

Edited 2022-10-24 17:10 (UTC)

There's some irony in Pyrrha advising Daniel to move on from someone when one her largest personal flaws is nearly the same. Nearly because it's a matter of love. People she loves, she never stops loving. That's not the same as giving them a free pass to hurt her. From her earliest memory of John, she recognized the inability to walk away from caring for him. Boundaries and ruthless enforcement of them has kept her not safe but healthy. All of Trench needs to work on that, what with them being here together.

That's what this is, really, except with himself. Daniel doesn't have to rely on Terry Silver for any of it (which is good, from what little he's said).

"That's okay, Daniel," Pyrrha says, "One step at a time. The current step is committing to work at it. Out loud to me, yes, because I'll help you hold yourself accountable, but most importantly to yourself."

"Think of every injury you've had from karate," Pyrrha says, "every bruise, cut, broken bones, the worst of it. I bet some of it felt impossible at the time. Look at yourself. You healed. You can do it. I believe in you."

Physical injuries have the advantage of being visible. Those in head and heart and soul aren't so apparent. They cannot all be tested for. That's one of the ways Daniel avoided dealing with these for so long. That and being able to look fine. So believably okay to most people around him.

".." He breathes out. Just trying to not clam up already takes a lot out of him here, but he's actively fighting the urge. "This is.. different."

And he's sure Pyrrha knows that. Of course she does. Even though physical injuries also suck, dealing with those and dealing with the more mental stuff, the emotional stuff - it's very different. If all his feelings towards Terry just had to do with the physical pain the other ultimately caused, it might have been easier, honestly. It's not like Daniel has never gotten beaten up in his life, after all.

"I mean, it's been this way for decades now."

Even though Daniel forgot - or rather, pushed it all down. Left it all behind him. Just living the life the way he always wanted to. Happy with his wife, with their kids, with mister Miyagi still there by his side, until suddenly he wasn't. Until suddenly Cobra Kai was brought back, and along with it Kreese, and then Silver, and until all the feelings Daniel tried so desperately to not think about started to drown him all over again.

"I saw him again on the beach just the other day, and it was-- it was exactly like back then. He still makes me feel the same way." Terrified. And so little, despite being so much older now, despite no longer being that teenage boy. Like not a single thing had changed in all these years.

It's hard to admit, but his trust in Pyrrha and her positive reinforcement are at least helping him actually take this step and say it, rather than endlessly dragging his feet into nowhere. "If nothing has changed in decades, then why would it change now?"

Decades. After ten thousand years, a decade can be like a day, a week, a month, a year. It depends on the decade. The issues with John have been the way they are for a myriad. Impossibly longer. Impossibly harder. Pyrrha doesn't raise that comparison. She knows that if Daniel calms down and thinks about it, he'll realize she hasn't given up on change after so much longer, she's not going to give up on it here either.

Daniel doesn't have years to cool off between every interaction. He no longer has the decades it's been to work through this. He only has now, this moment and the moments after. That's harder, but it's his fault and the fault of anyone who understood it and didn't push him to heal (those that care for him, anyway).

"Because you'll do the work now," Pyrrha says, "Because you have other people who depend upon you doing the work. Because you've always been better at being there for other people than yourself. We're harnessing how much love you have in your heart and putting it to work."

Because it's extremely difficult to give up on something so crucial and vital to your well being once you've told Pyrrha about it. Oh sure, she cannot make Daniel recover, but she can do everything short of that.

Is it a little embarrassing to be told that part out loud? Not the part about doing the work - no, the part about him being better at being there for other people than himself, or the part about having so much love in his heart. Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing to have it being put into words like that. Daniel can't exactly deny it, sure, but he feels like it makes him look better than he really feels about himself. He doesn't feel so selflessly loving or heroic right now, leaning against Pyrrha under these blankets.

"Wanting to do the work is one thing," he finally says, after seemingly having needed a moment to think.

And he does mean that. Daniel does want to do the work, whatever work it takes to stop feeling this way every single time he stares down Terry Silver. There's nothing he'd rather want in the world than tear this feeling out of him for the rest of his life.

"But there's another step before actually doing that work. And that's figuring out.. what work."

Okay, maybe stretching the metaphor a little sounds faintly dumb, but stretching metaphors is Daniel's thing.

"I have no idea what to do," Daniel admits. His voice a little softer, since saying that even to someone he trusts and who isn't part of his gaggle of children that he tries to watch out for is hard. It doesn't feel great.

But then again, he's been feeling like that more and more often, ever since mister Miyagi died. Since he couldn't just turn to him anymore. No more readily available advice at all times, no more compass to set his heart to. ".. I wish I did."

Pyrrha beams at Daniel, softly but with pride. He may not be able to see her whole face, so close to her, but it doesn't matter. It's in every muscle in her face, it's in the way her face does not look used to smiling, it's in the gleam of her eyes, it's in the confidence she has that Daniel lacks.

"Step one of doing any work is figuring out what work you need to do," Pyrrha says. "You know more than you thought you do. Good work." Because as silly as it sounds, Daniel's omen reflects him. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. She has no shame about sounding silly. A good thing too since Nona needed that. Nona, Pyrrha misses her strongly for a moment. She recognizes it and moves on.

"It will take some reflection," Pyrrha says, "It takes looking at the wounds in your heart and continuing to look at them. Even if no Pthumerian throws you into your own memories, even if nothing forces you to do it. You must choose to look at it, dissect it, and be ruthlessly honest with yourself.

"If you want to start doing that now, with my support, you can. If you need to mentally prepare yourself another time, you can. I can be with you for it for moral support, or you can do it alone or with someone else. If you need something to physically do while you reflect, you can come help us build a wall or whatever community project we're on rebuilding Trench.

"You have to focus on the feelings and issues you've shied away from, compartmentalized, and ineffectively managed blindly. We all have our damage. We all have parts of ourselves we'd rather not look at. Being a parent, a mentor, a sensei, you've committed to making the hard choice time and again."

Pyrrha leans her head against Daniel's. "It may sound impossible," she says, "but you've done the impossible before."

There's a sound that almost sounds like a flustered groan coming from Daniel, sounding surprisingly young for his age. "Come on, Pyrrha, that's too much."

All the positive reinforcement, that is. Because every single word of it hits its mark, and it actually does do a lot for Daniel. On the other hand, it's been pretty rare for him lately to get this kind of positive reinforcement in the first place, so suddenly getting served an entire plate's worth of it is a lot for the poor guy. He's definitely growing more flustered, turning his head to momentarily bury it against Pyrrha's shoulder.

"I haven't done much at all yet," he mumbles, staying that way for a moment.

Because it really feels like it. Pyrrha is acting like he's doing something so well here, but it feels like he's hardly doing anything. Like he isn't getting anywhere.

(Then again - that's just Daniel, always being way too hard on himself.)

He sucks in a breath, attempting to feel a little less tickled by all the praise, and then shifts again so his face is no longer buried against her, though he still looks a tad affected by it all the same.

"I think I can talk about it right now." A little bit. Maybe. Daniel doubts he'll be able to just talk about it all, since his heart feels like a swamp-like mess when it comes to this topic, but-- "I should tell you some about it. I need someone to know, in case Silver tries anything."

And he will try something. Daniel just knows it. It's only a matter of time.

"And then I'll.. I'll need your help." It doesn't feel great, admitting that. Not because Daniel is too prideful to ask for help, but it's more that he doesn't want to drag anyone else into the mess with Terry anymore. Not after what Terry told him.

But the idea of being alone in it is also much too terrifying to Daniel.

".. if you don't mind."

"You have," Pyrrha says, "and you have to hold to it." The follow through. That's where so many people stumble. Daniel will stumble. It's hard shit or it'd already be done. Each time someone stumbles, they can give up as something being too hard or they can take on the extra work they've given themselves and kept going. Few people have lived up to her standards all the time, but she appreciates those who do most or more of the time. She has to, or she'd have no one.

"There's some stuff we each have to do for ourselves," Pyrrha says, "For the rest, that's what friends and family and partners are about. I more than don't mind, Daniel. I'm happy to have your back." Her tone is still serious, weighty, without the idea this will be a walk in the park. Nothing ever has been. Not even the park.

Happy to have his back.

It's those words that Daniel tries to hold on to as he attempts to build the courage necessary within himself to actually talk about any of this. After all, maybe that's part of the blockage within Daniel whenever he wants to talk about it. The worry that it'll sound silly, or unimportant, or that people won't understand. Or that they won't believe him-- or not even listen to him, the way Johnny had completely ignored his point by focusing on something else entirely when he had tried to tell the other guy about it back home.

But Pyrrha has his back. Pyrrha has his back. You can tell her, he tells himself, over and over, shifting until he's a little more comfortable, and then he speaks up again.

"The stuff with Silver.. It all happened when I was much younger. A teenager, barely out of high school. I was having a hard time with a lot of stuff, and there was this guy constantly chasing me down to try and get me to sign up for a karate tournament. He kept constantly hounding me, beating me up, destroying stuff that was important to my teacher and even hurting my friend. He almost killed me at one point."

He's aware that this probably sounds mundane to Pyrrha, who comes from a world where people casually pull entire skeletons out of their arm - thanks, John - but hopefully Daniel's tone indicates that it was all very serious for him.

It had been utterly frightening back then, especially with how young he had been.

"And that was when Terry Silver suddenly showed up. I didn't even know the guy back then, but.. he just appeared, and he was kind to me. He took care of that guy for me, even offered to teach me so I could beat that guy in the tournament. It's just that I felt like I could trust him. Especially when me trying to deal with that guy who kept hounding me had basically turned everyone else away from me. I felt so alone in trying to deal with an awful, terrifying problem, and he suddenly solved all that for me. Praised me, helped me." It's probably easy to see how Daniel of all people would fall deep for that, as weak to it as he is.

Sometimes Pyrrha wishes she could remember what it was like to be a teenager. Surely, she has her fair share of dumb shenanigans, teenage drama, and well all the kinds of memories people have of being teenagers. She's seen enough generations of it to understand, but it isn't as visceral.

She's not sure who the other guy, unnamed, is, but the whole story is fishy. Not Daniel's part in it, no, she believes him. That's an efficient method to start grooming someone, so efficient Pyrrha immediately suspects the worst—that the two may have had ties, whether Daniel ever learned of it or not.

"Young, isolated, and under stress," Pyrrha summarizes, "That's a perfect setup. Unless you'd already been through something like that, anyone would." That's why she doesn't trust it.

She resists the urge to guess some of the next steps. The point isn't whether she gets what Terry Silver was doing then or how he did it. The point is Daniel working to recover from it. "Tell me what happened next," she says instead. Let him tell it how he wants to. Even if they both know it ends badly.

"We started training together," Daniel recalls, swallowing thickly as he says it.

He doesn't like thinking back on these memories - but said memories force themselves into his mind often enough that he can recall them so sharply, despite them having taken place decades ago. Like a movie reel playing over and over again in his head.

"His training methods were.. unconventional. I didn't realise it at the time, since I was so desperate for anyone to help me and for me to listen to him that I just assumed he knew better and went along with it, but.. the training was just designed to hurt me, to break me down. He forced me to train until I was bleeding, until it felt like I'd break my bones."

His hands clench at the blanket draped over them. Daniel feels so stupid, even now. Why didn't he stop to question it more? Why didn't he try to reach out to someone, anyone--

"He encouraged me to be more aggressive too-- until it went wrong. One day I hurt someone bad enough at a club that that person ended up in the hospital, and that snapped me out of it. I felt so.. so guilty. So awful. I realised that I was changing into something I didn't recognize." He frowns, but doesn't directly look at Pyrrha as he speaks. It's hard enough to talk about it, but looking directly at her as he says it feels like it might just break him down here. "So I tried to set it all straight. I went to Silver, tried telling him I wanted to stop training with him, but then he revealed that he had been the one behind everything all along. He hired that guy who had been hounding and tormenting me, just so he'd drive me straight into Silver's arms. All along, Silver had been the one who wanted to scare me. To break me."

Slowly Daniel breathes out. When he speaks on, his voice shakes, audibly so.

"I feel so stupid about all of it. I can't believe I let him manipulate me like that. That I let him scare me bad enough that I still feel it now. That he made it so hard to just-- trust people."

Her jaw tightens as she listens to Daniel's description. That's the pain of clear hindsight, of enough experience and know how to know better... of the skills to do that to someone if she so chooses. Yes, Pyrrha knows how to manipulate people, and she's used it plenty of ways over the myriad. Hard to become an effective spymaster without it. Pyrrha has wielded those skills in matters of life and death, sometimes planetary or larger scales. Hurting a teenager for what—a competition? the pleasure of it?

Everyone has their bogeymen. Many of them have to handle them here in Trench. Live together in the city. That's the point. There's no way around it. Now, that includes Daniel's demons wrapped in Terry Silver.

"Daniel," Pyrrha says softly, "You were a kid. You didn't have any experiences like that. It's okay to feel stupid and scared. He broke your trust, so you have a harder time trusting people. That's all natural.

"What matters most, what you should remind yourself, is that you got out. You snapped out of it. You confronted him. You learned the truth. You chose to live following Mr. Miyagi's principles. That's impressive. So many people never get there.

"That isn't a story of shame. It's a story of survival."

She squeezes his shoulder once and rubs his arm. "I'm proud of you, Daniel," Pyrrha says.

There's a flare within Daniel. A very familiar one, the one that always ignites his temper, only fueled by the fact that he's so emotional to be talking about this in the first place. A tiny part of him wants to follow that spark, to let everything burst, to say that it still isn't fair, that it still hurts, that he does feel ashamed and that he doesn't know how to make it stop--

But he manages to surpress it this once before his temper ignites. It's probably a mix of different factors here. Pyrrha being so good about it, for one, actually saying she's proud of him when those are words Daniel hasn't heard in such a long time, pretty much not anymore ever since mister Miyagi died all those years ago. And then there's also the fact that Daniel desperately wants to be better about his temper. It's not something he always manages to follow through on, but he tries.

Like right now. Rather than letting himself fall into it, he instead breathes. Tries to focus, if not just on that hand on his arm.

".. I wish it felt more like I survived," he instead says. The same sentiment, but brought forth without the temper tantrum, even if it leaves his voice sounding a little hollow instead as he says it. "It feels more like I'm still fighting this battle every day."

And even more so with the guy actually here in Trench, rather than Daniel having to imagine what kind of shit Terry is inevitably getting up to back home. (Which was bad enough by itself, really.)

(closed) october catchall

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cw: mention of violence, murder attempt, locked tomb style skeleton body horror, manipulation

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CW: references to suicidal ideation/poor mental health

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Clooooooooosed