October Catchall

[ezra_of_lothal]

Who: Ezra and you
What: October catch all including Second Death prompts
When: Earlyish October
Where:  The Kenobi-Skywalker-Bridger house and around Trench

Content Warnings: Assume all content warnings that go with the Second Death, may add more as needed

Comments

[ezra_of_lothal]

[It's the gentleness that makes him go still in a different kind of confusion. Part of him had honestly expected a more forceful or emotional reply.

And yet that calmness feels right, too.]

Ben.

[He bites his lip, and then he tries a different tack, his voice very low and scared.]

Things...aren't making sense in my head.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan frowns lightly at that. the confusion radiates off ezra in waves. something must have happened to his memories. obi-wan gestures to their living space. ]

Would you be willing to sit down for a bit? And we can try and find answers.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He glances towards the living area and back and then blurts, barely teenager street orphan winning out for a moment-]

You won't try to stop me if I say no?

[jedies]

Of course not. This is your home. You're free to come and go as you please.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He knows he can't always tell when someone is lying.

But sometimes he can. And Ben seems to be practically radiating sincerity, strong enough to the point that's a little weird, too, now that he thinks about it.]

Ok. Then...sure. Let's talk.

[He steps towards the couch and perches on one of cushions and looks around wihtout recognition, and clearly still prepared to bolt.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan sits down serenely. ]

What is the last thing you remember?

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Ezra's silent for a moment, before he says, reluctantly-]

That's...the thing. When I woke up a few minutes ago I..I would have said something very different.

Right this minute, looking at you, I can remember- [A flicker of an uncertain smile.]

I asked you to look over an essay? First long assignment for honors English, and I was nervous. And I took some of your suggestions on edits and went to bed feeling about it.

But that..doesn't fit some other stuff. At all.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan nods slowly. ]

It sounds like you're missing a lot of memories. This place can do that sometimes.

[ezra_of_lothal]

...this place?

We're not in- [His memories go slippery again. In his right mind, he'd be able to articulate that's how the spell memories had always worked, that the city in that life had never truly had a name.

Right now, his mind jumps to the clearer memory of where he'd lived his earliest years on Lothal.]

Capital City?

[jedies]

No, I'm afraid not.

[ obi-wan slots that name away. for later. ]

We're in a town known as Trench.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Again, he doesn't get that feeling he associate with 'lie'.]

And people what, just, sometimes loose memories here?

[And then with a frown.]

Do they...get false memories?

[jedies]

[ obi-wan frowns. ]

No. At least not to my recollection.

[ezra_of_lothal]

But maybe it could happen?

Because -

Ben, before you came into the kitchen - I would have said - [He bites his lip again, face screwing up in upset.]

That I don't have a brother. That I don't have- [Anyone.]

[jedies]

Ezra, calm down.

It just sounds like your memories are . . . disorganized. Of course we're family.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Yes. That's right. And of course Ben knows his name. That all lines up.]

Then. Do you know why I remember living alone?

Not in a house. A comms tower.

It was out of the way. [His brow furrows.] It was safer that way.

[jedies]

[ obi-wan considers this. ]

It must have been when you were young. When you were orphaned.

[ezra_of_lothal]

That was years ago. [His voice picks up speed and anger.] The day I turned seven, on Empire Day, was the last time I saw mom and dad.

[Because Imperials love shows of force, to celebrate.

Then he stops again, giving Ben a weirded out look. He can ignore a lot of fuzzy details, but he still can't entirely reconcile one set of memories with an anchor of safety in his brother and the burying grief in the routinue of school versus the loneliness and going hungry while he tried to figure out survival on his own, that young.

The contrast is too stark.]

I don't...remember you being there? Why wouldn't you be there?

[jedies]

Because I wasn't.

It seems you have two sets of memories. One in our galaxy, the other set in . . . this city you mentioned. Perhaps in your time in another place other than Trench?

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He understood all those words, but he can't make them line up in a way that make sense. Even accepting-]

If I have two sets of memories, one of them has to be a lie. [And Ben is here so that can't be the lie. Right?]

Capital City is on Lothal. But that's....not where we lived. [He shakes his head minutely.]

You and me, I mean. That was- [Why can't he remember? His brow furrows.] And I only ever really knew your stories-

No. I do remember my parents. I do. I told myself I'd never let myself forget what they looked like.

[jedies]

[ hmm. ]

Maybe not a lie. Maybe a puzzle piece we're missing.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He sighs, long suffering, and then snaps-]

I'm not sure that this is a 'truth is what you make of it' moment.

[jedies]

I didn't mean to say it was.

[ obi-wan hesitates. ]

There are things you keep from me. Personal things. You've let it slip now and then, but never felt comfortable talking about it. I imagine those memories . . . might have something to do with it.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Ezra flinches back, both because he immediately regrets snapping and what Ben is saying-]

No. I - why would I do that?

I trust you.

[With conviction ringing out into the Force-] There's no time and place that's not true.

[Although admittedly, he frowns a little, at his own phrasing, after the fact.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan smiles. ]

I don't doubt that for a moment. But even with trust, there can be things that are too difficult to speak of.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Ezra frowns a little.]

Ok. Then.

Do you know loosing memories is a thing that happens here, do you know if they ever come back?