Shen Yuan | November Catch-All

[xiaoxiuya]

Who: Shen Yuan, CR group, People who actually want to talk to the weird metal faces . Maybe more to be added later, who knows!
What: Thread starters for people who want to get bogus relationship advice from Google translate; Shen Yuan Starts a Group Chat, TBD
When: Throughout November
Where: Deernet and beyond

Content Warnings: TBD

Comments

[fanfavors]

The didi beam is one of his charm points, thanks for noticing it, Shen-ge. Huaisang beams up at him and slides himself into a booth seat, reaching immediately for a bottle of something expensive. The wine here sure is fun and different, just perfect for pals who do not need to care about their respective ranks anymore, here in this ruined monster world.

But it's time to stay positive and be a good host, so allow him to pour the wine with absolutely no indication that he, Nie Huaisang, might still feel any stressors. Silliness. They are both here to be fine and relaxed. "Shen-ge has earned a night out with friends— ah, friend." Should he have, like, invited Duty, or something...? Maybe next time.

"And Shen-ge can thank er-ge for his generous contribution, graciously handed over when he doubted I could drink four pots of tea in one sitting. Here, try this wine."

[xiaoxiuya]

Shen Yuan laughs behind his sleeve, accepting the wine with his other hand. "So A-Sang really did it? I admit I had my doubts."

Once Huaisang has poured for himself Shen Yuan raises his glass - here, in a Western-style hotel, it would have to be a glass - in the first toast of the evening. "I'll certainly never doubt A-Sang again," he says, with exaggerated solemnity and a twinkle in his eyes, before he drinks.

[fanfavors]

"What this one lacks in stature, he makes up in determination," Huaisang assures him, complete with jauntily raised wine glass. He is a professional at drinking too much tea, of course.

"Did you really doubt me? Shen-ge, that's cruel!" A thousand cuts for Shen Yuan's doubt of his precious didi, or rather, "Make it up to me with another night out! Shen-ge must know more about the most interesting things to do in this kind of world, right? Because of Shen-ge's first... world?"

[xiaoxiuya]

Yes yes, how dare he doubt the upper limits of Huaisang's bladder capacity. Shen Yuan just nods and grind through Huaisang's fluttering, sipping his wine, before turning his attention to the snacks.

"Alas," he says good-naturedly, "this one was an even bigger homebody in his first life than he is now. If A-Sang has any questions this one would be pleased to answer, but I'd be working on things I read about or saw in plays, for the most part. For instance," he zeroes in on the nachos, picking up the tray with its many condiments and putting it down in front of Huaisang. "Does A-Sang know what these are?"

[fanfavors]

Shen-ge, a big homebody, reading his transmigration novels? Say it ain't so. Huaisang looks genuinely surprised over this, so give Shen Yuan that much credit - Huaisang thinks he's very cool and goes out and does cool things, all the time. The theater is quite cool and sophisticated...

"This one will ask around for fun things to do with Shen-ge, then," he decides, as he leans in to study the nachos. Well, they're... messy. He knows they're messy. "The waiter said these were... a traditional snack?"

[xiaoxiuya]

Just wait until Huaisang figures out the concept of 'movies.' They're like plays, sure! That you can watch without ever leaving your house. All of Shen Yuan's coolness points will vanish like so much fairy dust.

But he'll always be a big nerd. "Traditional? Sure, by a certain standard," he says with a chuckle and a grin. "A-Sang might want to roll his sleeves up before trying these, they're liable to drip." Shen Yuan is already doing the same; he never tried nachos in Beijing, but he saw them eaten in a few American movies and knows the mess is part of the point.

"See all these condiments? It's like a game, the point is to pile as much as you can on a chip and deliver it to your mouth without spilling."

[fanfavors]

"Ah," Huaisang says, with almost the air of someone who thinks that's disgusting, until he holds one sleeve back and reaches immediately for a chip, to consider its size and shape and how much weird-looking shit it can fit on top of it without spilling - or snapping. "Then it's just like the favored games of us disciples visiting Gusu."

A beat.

"Not any of the Lan sect, though. Don't tell er-ge." Er-ge absolutely knows they made horrible snack messes at least twice weekly at Lan high school, because Lan Wangji absolutely caught them, and so it went. Now, observing the nachos...

"Shen-ge, I don't know what half of these things are."

[xiaoxiuya]

"My lips are sealed," Shen Yuan promises with a wide grin. Schoolboy shenanigans, eh? He'll have to get the whole story out of Huaisang later.

"Honestly, neither do I," he admits, studying the spread. "That one's made from avocado, I think." He points to the bright green guacamole. They have avocados in wuxia, right? "And that's sour creme." A dish full of a white blob. "No clue about the rest." He winks at Huaisang. "Shall we try them and find out?"

[fanfavors]

From what and sour what. Alright, sure. Huaisang opts for a condiment palette that is aesthetically pleasing above all else, and does his very best to scoop them on in a series of lovely stripes, instead of tasting any of them first. He'll live wildly.

"Ah, there, this is my greatest work. Cheers, Shen-ge, cheers!"

Bump chips with him, Shen Yuan, bump chips!! He holds his nacho up expectantly, reaching for his glass in the meantime, for a healthy sip of expensive wine.

[xiaoxiuya]

Absolutely Shen Yuan will bump chips! This is ridiculous and he's fully prepared for the chips to taste vile, but he loves it anyway. Let's go all in and be silly tonight, what the heck!

"Cheers," he says, grinning back, and bumps his own messily-laden chip against Huaisang's. And then, the challenge: can they actually cram all this junk into their mouths??

Shen Yuan, a straight man, has no experience in opening his mouth this wide. He pussies out halfway through and makes a grab for a napkin.

[fanfavors]

How hard can it be to eat one chip laden with a terrible burden, or: Huaisang can eat this whole chip at once, in the very indelicate way of a man who also spent most of his school nights eating handfuls of snacks as fast as possible for fear of being caught. Which is to say, they bump chips, and there they go, and he handles it deftly until Shen Yuan gives up.

This, for some reason, is very funny, and Huaisang abruptly claps a hand over his mouth so that he doesn't spit chip pieces everywhere when he snorts in delight. Don't perceive this, give him a second, he's doing great—

Okay. Crisis averted. Second crisis: these toppings aren't good. "Shen-ge, these are all just cold and wet!" Ah, and, "Is Shen-ge defeated? It was only the first snack."

[xiaoxiuya]

"Who's defeated?" Shen Yuan asks with an amused little huff, and shoves the entire remaining half a chip into his mouth. It's...honestly yeah, it's pretty gross. Did the kitchen fuck it up somehow, or do people really live like this?

"If Huaisang doesn't care for this tradition, he can try something else," Shen Yuan says magnanimously, like he doesn't care one way or another. And then he pours them both more wine, because god knows they need it.

[fanfavors]

"This one doesn't know what kind of tradition thinks cold and wet is an attractive snack," Huaisang says, lifting his freshly filled glass briefly before taking a considerable sip. "No wonder they were so cheap..."

But okay, let's survey these other snacks. He's got a load of fancy-looking desserts, for the discerning wine drinker who thinks about things like 'pairing'— and some kind of candied nut in a bowl, which he goes for next, dragging the bowl to sit between the two of them. Now this is some real school days at Cloud Recesses energy.

"If you ask me, Shen-ge should accept his defeat so that he can relax properly." Chew... is he being subtle enough, Shen Yuan. "Competition is going to do horrible things to your skin."

[xiaoxiuya]

"Oh well, if my skin's at stake," Shen Yuan says with a laugh. "Then very well, I concede. Pray A-Sang will be generous in his victory." And he immediately reaches for one of the fancy desserts, because loads of sugar is great for one's skin, obviously.

(Does Shen Yuan know the first thing about actual skin care? He does not! Is he going to stop him from enjoying himself on Huaisang's dime? It won't! This is pure 'that sign won't stop me because I can't read' enjoyment here, folks.)