deercountry | (closed) january catchall

.. I see.

[ It's an answer - on Daniel's part - that doesn't say much. Instead the man seems to grow quiet, like he's thinking about what Hakkai is saying. The implication, of course, being that he's thinking about all those poor people sick all across town..

And it's not like he isn't. In fact, it's exactly because of those people that it feels more important for Daniel to pretend like he, at least, is okay. A bit of illness is nothing he can't handle, right? There's so many people out there who need help, and with half of the town being gone on that expedition, there's less hands around to help than usually.

So if Hakkai is busy, then-- ]

Well, I wouldn't want to keep you around for longer than dinner if you have so much to do. [ Despite feeling sick, and despite ignoring the potential callout in the other's words, Daniel manages to smile a little as he says that. Not a wide smile, but.. it's a genuinely amicable one. ] It sounds like you've been doing a lot of work already, and.. I'm fine.

[ Clearly. Does Daniel look a little pale, especially with his usually tan skin? Clearly not. It's just because of his coldblood, obviously. D-Daniel, sick? Haha, it's fine. It's cool. Of course he isn't. ]

Are you?

[Oops. That's a bit of a piercing question from the guy who would prefer literally no one ever took an interest in his personal life or affairs. But, for the moment, that's all he says. Opting to lean away from the soup in order to remove the kettle from the burner.]

I thought you found yourself at the party? [Don't mind him. Just pouring hot water into a mug...] Were you one of the lucky ones?

[He slides the mug over to Daniel, once again looking at him over the rim of the monocle, eyebrow arched.]

I ask, you see, because you look rather pale.

[ Gosh dangit, Hakkai.

Daniel figured that it'd be easier to push himself through it with no one asking about it under these circumstances - mostly because Robby is gone, on an exploration to that other city, along with some of the other more perceptive people he knows. The people who are most likely to notice something's off about Daniel, and who are also very much willing to push him about it.

.. clearly he didn't account for Hakkai, and that fact is hitting him like a train now the other is saying all of this so directly.

Even the way he grabs the mug and quickly takes a sip - the upsides of being a coldblood, can't get burned by hot drinks anymore - can't hide the fact that the man is starting to look a little awkward under this scrutiny.

He swallows, only barely managing to not cough thanks to the speed he just took that sip with, before moving on to say: ]

You think so?

[ H.. H-haha... Y-You think he looks pale, Hakkai? Surely it can't.. be that bad.. r-right...

(So smooth, Daniel. Except not at all.

He's never been good at this.) ]

What are your symptoms?

[Listen, Daniel, you got his number during that whole memory share, let him have this little victory. Deciding the soup is simmering enough without his intervention, he moves to face Daniel directly. This is the air of someone who is more than used to people brushing off their ailments. Which, in their situation, is usually necessary more often than not.]

[But this is not a trek across Asia. This is a town facing what seems to be food poisoning of widespread proportions.]

The tea should help replace any potentially lost fluids, and I'd advise you drink some plain broth as well. [Based on his experiences with the others who've fallen ill...]</small But if it is more than that, please inform me. I'll see if I can't heal some of it.

It's-- fine. [ Even though he's technically still dismissing it a little, he knows that this specific wording also means that he's kind of owning up to the fact that he's sick in the first place. Maybe that's why it sounds like Daniel is struggling to even get that word out of his throat. ]

It's not much.

[ Except it's definitely hit him a bit harder than expected, but. You know. If owning up to being sick is already this hard, imagine how much harder admitting to that part is. ]

I can handle it. [ Or so Daniel likes to tell himself, regardless of whether it's true or not.

Why is he trying so hard to deny it anyway? Since Hakkai is younger, and Daniel wouldn't ever want to burden someone young with his own trouble? Or maybe, despite all the kids he's desperately trying to take care of here, there's a part of him that's isolated himself so much while ripped away from his usual support system, telling him that he has to be okay and take care of it all himself.

.. though it sure doesn't help that a dizzy spell hits him, making him move his hand to lean against the counter to keep himself from stupidly toppling over. ]

It's very difficult to fool someone adept at hiding their own issues.

[Listen, at this point, after what Daniel saw, he can't exactly hide that, either. They'd both have to be fools to deny it. Hakkai's... been revealed. Too much of him laid bare. It doesn't bear thinking about. Not now - what's done is done.]

[Jeep is the one to look over first. To trill out a concerned warble.]

[Then Hakkai leaves the stove entirely. He reaches over - a hand at Daniel's shoulder. It's stronger than it looks like it should be, given how slight the man appears. A slight tug, come this way.]

Sit. Tell me the trouble, and we'll go from there. Your students will be concerned if they see you taken ill and not looking after yourself.

[ There's the tiniest moment where Daniel still looks ready to resist, but it's the hand on his shoulder that does him in. Not even because of the relatively surprising amount of strength in it, but mostly because Daniel is pretty weak to physical contact like this.

It's at least part of the reason why he lets himself be led over to a chair in the kitchen, sitting down with a sigh that sounds more tired than he seemed a moment ago, like he's letting some of the act go. ]

It's fine. I've been teaching class. Not all the kids are around this month, so it's manageable. [ Especially for a guy who's used enough to having to hide stuff. The sheer amount of physical injuries he tried to sweep under the rug as a kid is.. quite something.. ] It's just these..

[ His voice trails off, like he has a hard time talking about this stuff even now he's decided to do so. Like instinct kicks in, nearly shutting down his speech, closing off his throat, but he manages to get through it after a beat.

Even if he's avoiding looking directly at Hakkai. ]

These dizzy spells. I keep feeling so faint, like I could pass out any minute.

Teaching class while experiencing dizzy spells? [For shame, says that tone of voice. This man is one giant hypocrite, and part of him is well aware of the fact. The rest of him tells that part to be silent, now is not the time.] You must have someone who can cover for you, if not postpone your courses?

[He steps away again, over to where the tea has been steeping. The mug is set at Daniel's elbow, while Hakkai stands in front of him, hands at his hips.]

All right. It isn't an injury, so my assistance may be limited. But we'll see if we can't do something about the dizziness.

[And then they'll get some food in him, and see if that won't boost the man's energy another degree.]

If you'll permit me?

Of course.

[ See, he's at least being good now! He's giving Hakkai permission to help! In fact, Daniel is even grabbing that mug of tea and actually raising it up to his mouth to take a sip. (He kind of misses the comfort of actually being able to feel hot drinks as they go down his throat though - such a downside of being a coldblood, honestly.)

But it wouldn't be Daniel if he just left it at that. Not that he stops Hakkai if he's moving to try and help now, but-- he just can't help but defend himself at the same time. ]

And I couldn't stop classes again. They already had to stop for a few days when I was stuck as a kid earlier this month. [ Not like he could teach class like that. He didn't even know he had classes to teach until the kids suddenly started to call his teenage self sensei.. Real weird.. ] This place is too dangerous for me to not teach kids how to defend themselves for almost an entire month.

[ Well.. At least it's not a matter of Dumb Masculine Honor that Daniel pushes himself or anything.

But it's not like the fact that it's for other people's sakes that he's doing this makes it necessarily all that better, huh. ]

And it didn't occur to you to ask someone to step in on your behalf?

[He can appreciate the sentiment, really, he can. It's a noble one, and an understandable one. Teaching people to keep themselves safe - that's important in a place like this. But surely, there are substitutes available. Even for a day or so, in cases precisely as this one.]

[Hakkai sighs, shaking his head. He supposes he isn't really one to judge, but then again, he always did end up being a bit of a hypocrite.]

Please ask, next time. There must be someone who can take over for a day or two.

[Standing at Daniel's side, he takes a knee, lacing his fingers together. Another deep breath, before he holds them over the other's chest. Light begins to gather in his linked palms - the only outward sign of an energy transfer. Healing energy. Hakkai's own transferred to Daniel, to speed up his body's rate of recovery.]

[It won't do too much for an illness, except likely shorten the severity and length of the symptoms.]

[ He doesn't question anything Hakkai is doing here. Daniel knows very, very little about otherworldly healing, after all, having prefered to leave that sort of stuff to the experts here, other than supplying simple first aid for his students whenever training went a little wrong.

It means that what he's seeing here is pretty new. The light against Hakkai's palms, the power that Daniel hadn't seen from the other before - though it's somehow not too surprising to know he's capable of this. It's something about Hakkai, something about the way he fusses about others - like how he's fussing over Daniel, even now. Of course he'd have the ability to help people like this then.

The man is quiet at first, letting the other work, almost as if he's worried that speaking up may ruin something about the process. It's only when the light dims that he speaks up again. He doesn't necessarily feel better yet in the moment, but he figures that it'll probably kick in later. He's not going to be insensitive enough to point it out in the moment.

Instead there's still something faintly worried in his eyes as to the subject they were talking about, finally replying with: ]

I'm the only person here who knows Miyagi-do though.

[ .. not that there are a whole lot more people back home either, but that topic toes a little too close to mister Miyagi's loss, and Daniel doesn't want to think or talk about that. ]

Let alone having a lot of people around town who know karate in the first place. I can't just put anyone in front of my students. [ It's not even a possessive thing, really.

It's a fussing thing. A worried thing. After all-- ]

Having the wrong kind of teacher can really screw things up for kids.

[He sits back, at length, resting on his heels, with his hands balanced on his knees. The glow has faded, and some of the color has left Hakkai's cheeks - not a lot. He's already pale to begin with, after all. But the dizziness should be taken care of. Now all that's left are the common remedies. The things Daniel will have to do on his own.]

[He does want to ask what in the world is so special about this technique that it can't be taught easily. But he does recall the conversation with the younger Daniel. That Miyagi is very important to Daniel.]

You are correct in that statement... [Even Captain Hypocrite Hakkai can agree that a poor teacher can mess up a kid in all kinds of ways.]

What about someone who can keep them practicing what they've learned, rather than new skills? Simply while you recover.

[Therefore, he thinks, the teacher would only have to know as much as the students - no new learning required. Just keeping the skills in shape for a few days.]

One of your more advanced students, perhaps?

[ It's the mention of the last thing that has Daniel tightly pressing his lips together for a moment, like he's thinking about something really ironic. At least he is feeling a touch better - just enough to be a little more emotive like that again. ]

Usually I would've asked Robby. [ Easily his most advanced student, after all. The only one out of the entire bunch here who he has actually trained back home, rather than just in Trench. ] But he went off on that exploration.

[ .. and Daniel wouldn't really want the kid to know he's sick in the first place - no need to make Robby worry more than he already has about so many things in this place. But Daniel is smart enough to keep that part of it to himself in front of Hakkai. ]

It's.. [ He starts, then pauses. Maybe he still feels a little vulnerable in his current state, or maybe he managed to spot the faint paleness in Hakkai's face, realising what the other gave up for him just now. Something relatively small, yes, but.. it'd make him feel a little more guilty about not being honest with the other right now. ] It's been a little more quiet here since Robby and some of the other kids went there. Some of my friends, too.

[ And it's not like Daniel has a ton of those to begin with..

But he does feel awkward admitting to this. To loneliness. He's not even doing so directly here, he's not even mentioning the word, but it gets close enough that it makes the man look a little awkward as he speaks, even when he does his best to be honest. ]

So I'm-- I am glad you're here.

[ Even if it meant getting nagged over hiding the fact he's sick. :( ]

I see.

[It's said fairly quietly. So there was a system in place. It just fell apart. That seems like the case for so much of this town, doesn't it. You have plans, you have structure, and something kicks it down like a house of cards.]

[At some point, Jeep has come over to curl around his master's shoulders, with Hakkai absently trailing his fingers down the little dragon's neck. It's strangely comforting. The one thing he has to hold onto from his world. One friend, here. He should count himself lucky, given the context of their conversation. At least he isn't alone at the moment.]

I'm sure they'll return soon. An empty city can hardly hold the attention of so many teens - not for long, at any rate...

[He trails off, looking a bit surprised at the admission. Someone... glad he's here? Knowing now what Daniel must know? He'd expect that from one of the others. Especially Gojyo or Goku, even. But -]

I... must say that's a surprise. I had assumed there would be a point where my nagging would be too much to bear, haha.

[Yep just brush it off!!]

Well, that's a two way street, isn't it?

[ The edge of Daniel's smile as he says that is a little wry, but it's just that he's well aware of the irony here. It's not like it's just Hakkai nagging him. Daniel himself has been doing plenty of nagging on his end too - or fussing that could easily be seen as nagging, anyway.

But he also knows that this is, at least partially, Hakkai brushing it off. Maybe that's why Daniel keeps staring at the other as he pauses, maybe watching the way Hakkai is gently petting the small dragon like that while Daniel thinks.

Honesty feels like the best thing in the end here. It's how Daniel has always worked. ]

I mean it though, surprise or not. [ Sure, this may be a little much for Hakkai, since he never seems to be able to quite process it well whenever Daniel says something like this, but Hakkai has to hear it from someone here, the man thinks. ] You're a good guy.

[ Something he can say even in the face of what he saw, that mess of a memory. So much blood everywhere, but also so much pain. Hakkai has been through a lot, and Daniel isn't sure how to contextualize most of it, but-- he knows that Hakkai has done nothing but treat him kindly and try to help him out in this place. He even tried to help out his younger self by distracting Johnny after he asked for it. He's giving Daniel his own energy right now in order to try and help him.

So it's hard for Daniel to think of the other in any other way. ]

And with so many people gone right now, it's a little less lonely with you here. I appreciate it. More than you probably imagine.

How so?

[Hakkai is the one with the nagging habit, according to the others. "Nags like your mom", wasn't it? Honestly, he hasn't noticed much coming from Daniel, in comparison. Maybe he should be. Or maybe it just hasn't been up to Hakkai's absurd standards of nagging.]

[And then he blinks. Looking as if Daniel just said he was purple or something like that. After a moment of staring, he reaches out, pressing his wrist to Daniel's forehead with a frown.]

You shouldn't be feverish after that. You should lie down, if you're having those sorts of delusions.

[Hakkai is not, under any sort of definition of the word, a "good man". Honestly, he's exactly the opposite. No one who knows him would describe him as such. Especially not after seeing what Daniel saw.]

Well - I did say I would be happy to provide assistance. Consider this a part of it.

[ The combination of the wrist to his forehead with those words being spoken is enough to draw a laugh out of Daniel. And not a polite laugh, or faintly amused, but.. it's a very, very genuine laugh. It's a little weaker than it usually would have been due to the fact that Daniel isn't exactly fully recovered yet, but there's no doubt that the laugh slips out involuntarily, entirely real.

The kind of laugh you just can't hold in, that's warm and joyful.

Those last emotions are definitely mirrored in Daniel's eyes when he looks over at Hakkai. ]

Okay, let me get this right. [ His voice is the same. A little weaker, but warm. For all of the amusement that seems to twinkle in Daniel's eyes, none of it is at Hakkai's expense.

It's just relative fondness for the other. ]

You've been occasionally coming over to cook for me for months now, have been doing chores for the dojo, and now you're literally healing me.. But you're not a good guy.

[ It's not that he doesn't nkow why Hakkai is saying it.

But Daniel can't help himself anyway. There's a stubbornness about his words - like Hakkai can't change this old man's mind now. ]

[He's silent, after that. His fingertips tracing the mane running along Jeep's spine. Eyes not meeting Daniel's. Not because of the laugh. He can hear the warmth and amusement in it. But it makes him feel dirty to hear. There is no way he deserves that sort of fondness from someone like this.]

[From Gojyo, Goku - he can understand it. They're much in the same boat. Even Sanzo, though the man would rather choke on his own tongue than offer anything like fondness to the other three.]

One can choose to perform serviceable acts... while still retaining the traits that make them what they are.

[What - not who. He's left a lot behind. He's left a name, a life, a whole chapter of history. But it doesn't change anything. Doesn't change what his choices, his mistakes, made him into.]

[There is still a monster lurking in his skin. No amount of chores, of healing, is ever going to change that. And the sooner it's realized, the better. He would prefer not to be held in anyone's high regard.]

I am not a good man. [He just sounds tired.] But I can assist, regardless.

...

[ It's always a little sad to see just how deep this runs. Even though, now Daniel actually has some context for it, he can kind of understand where it's coming from in the first place. It's not like he hasn't seen this on a smaller scale back home. Maybe things aren't like this with Johnny, but when he ran into one of his other rivals again who has bullied him, hurt him, even tried to kill him - he remembers seeing the guilt in Chozen's eyes, the way he still carried all of that with him years later, it still influencing the way he saw himself.

He can see a little of the man in the other here in front of him now, Daniel thinks.

It's why he doesn't push too hard. He can't suddenly change Hakkai's mind on this, and he knows it. All he can do is continue to offer gentle encouragement. ]

You know, Hakkai.. [ His voice is gentle too as he speaks. The laughter is gone, but a smile lingers around his lips, affectionate. ] It's really hard to change other people's opinions of you.

[ Yes, that's Daniel's gentle way of saying 'sorry, dude, can't change my mind'...

Even though he's kind enough to not be that direct about it. ]

Will you at least allow me to be appreciative of everything you're doing here for me? [ Not that he isn't going to be appreciative regardless.

Just saying. ]

I might have passed out on the kitchen floor if you hadn't been here.

[More silence. Before he straightens up, turning his attention back to the task he'd abandoned briefly. The soup. Something to put a physical distance. Change his focus elsewhere.]

So it is.

[And, frankly, Hakkai doesn't tend to try. Those close to him are the only opinions that matter much, if at all. He knows what he is. So do they. It's all one big status quo he doesn't see a reason to unbalance. He's not so far down that mental rabbit hole not to catch on to what Daniel is implying, though.]

[It doesn't make sense. None of it does. This is a decent man who flat out refuses to see the truth in front of him. With the others - with Gojyo, at least - the playing field was more even. None of their hands were clean. Accepting it, going forward, it made sense for all of them. Not here.]

Fortunately, I cleaned the floor yesterday - so even if you had fallen unconscious, you'd be spared accumulated dirt.

[Well... he didn't entirely mean to sidestep the question. But what else is he meant to say?]

[ There's a huff of air, close to a laugh but not quite reaching there this time - maybe because it'd feel wrong to laugh after Hakkai's reaction. It'd sure be nice if Daniel could somehow instill a sense of self worth - or better self worth, anyway - into the other guy, but he's also old enough to know it isn't something that just happens like that, let alone so easily.

So rather than pushing, Daniel just smiles at the other. Still a little weak, since his body is recovering still, but at least it definitely doesn't look like the man is about to pass out and drop from the chair anymore. ]

What would I do without you? [ He lightly jokes.

(Collapse onto a dusty floor, apparently.)

Daniel shakes his head though, and rather than lingering on that, he asks: ]

You think I could have some of that soup? [ He could probably use a bowl of it right now for his recovery.. Eating more than that sounds like a challenge still, but soup? That's always great when you're sick. ]

Likely break your nose from falling onto the floor.

[He says it as smoothly and calmly as anything else. Like he may as well be commenting on the weather for all the concern in his expression. But that's just Hakkai. If he nags like that, people are more likely to listen to him. Or, at least, the people in the little group of travelers are more likely to listen.]

[Daniel isn't anything like them - certainly nothing like Sanzo. Now that's a hilarious comparison to think about.]

Oh! Yes of course, forgive me.

[And he sweeps off, just like that. To check on said soup and make sure it's ready for human consumption. Apparently it is, because he returns after a few moments with a small bowl. Mostly broth - with a few thick strands of noodle.]

If you can manage this, we'll try more in a short while.

Thank you.

[ It's said while actually looking at Hakkai - no matter how tempting it is to get some of that soup inside of him. Sure, Daniel is also aware he probably can't eat all that much, not when it seems that the origin of the illness at the party feels like it was food-related.. but on the other hand, he's feeling so lightheaded that he knows he has to get something decent and warm like this broth inside of him, even if the energy Hakkai gave him is helping as well.

But after giving the other that thanks and a brief smile, Daniel is grabbing a spoon to jam a spoonful of the soup into his mouth. He slowly swallows it, and-- god, yeah, eating is A Lot right now, but he can feel like it's helping at the same time.

At least he has the apparent good attitude to still be able to joke about the way he had trouble swallowing the soup just now. ]

I don't think I've ever felt more like an old man than right now.

[ Please, Daniel, you're only in your 50s... And relatively youthful-looking on top of that.. ]

You're hardly what anyone would consider an 'old man'.

[Except maybe Goku... But anyone over the age of twenty looked like an old man to him.]

[At least broth shouldn't be too much. It will definitely help. And shouldn't be too strong of a taste. He'll have to make sure the other man at least lays down after this. Just to make sure there really isn't any fainting in the kitchen.]

I do hope you're planning on resting after this, regardless of age.

[Or Else.]

[ Daniel is already halfway through his second spoonful of the mostly-broth soup when Hakkai speaks up with that second part, getting him to actually glance up at Hakkai as he's swallowing the soup.

.. yeah, he can kind of hear that 'or else' in the words. Not that Daniel thinks Hakkai would ever do something bad to him - despite the memories he's seen, he still has full faith in the younger man.

But he does imagine the other will be rather insistent about this one. ]

Are you saying I should nap?

[ More like.. urgently implying Daniel should nap.. ]

(closed) january catchall

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