deercountry | I don't want to save the world

Who: Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon and you!
What: Usagi is dealing with mild corruption and is trying to get rid of it
When: Through mid-March
Where: Beach and Willful Machine

Content Warnings: Violence

A. Strike the Match [Beach]

When the thought 'I wish I could just destroy this whole place' entered her mind, she knew she was in trouble. She knew she was in at least SOME stage of corruption and needed to get it in check.

But the people, outside of Makoto, who she would talk to about the corruption were. all. gone.

And that was the problem. That was why she kept having the thought. Rei, Minako, Hotaru, Setsuna, Varian, Atsushi, Bella, the list went on and on and on and on and on. It was just her and Makoto now.

And then the fearful thought, 'But when would Makoto be next?' would come.

When would another loved one, another precious person be taken? What was even the point to keep going if they were all gone? This was not the first time she had had such thoughts. But this wasn't about Galaxia and an endless war and all life going on. This was just her and her life. This wasn't home. It got incredibly difficult to keep going, to keep hoping they may someday arrive, because there was no way to bring them out of the ocean. But also, she didn't WANT them to arrive. That was the hitch, the problem.

She missed all of her precious people like crazy.

But in her truest of heart's desires, she could never wish them to come to this hell, even if she knew the girls would follow her without hesitation.

"But you're not here," she told the crashing waves. She was Sailor Moon right now, waiting for Maul.

She was so. damn. tired. of this world taking from her, hurting her, and how she was supposed to be okay with it. She didn't even get to mourn Hotaru because this world made her so happy that all she could do was be glad Hotaru got out.

She wasn't okay.

Sailor Moon watched the waves crash around her, a storm out on the horizon making them harsher than usual. The wind whipped her hair around her, her wings going back and forth with the breeze. In her hand was her Tiare.

She sensed someone coming towards her. It wasn't Maul she sensed, but another.

"I would not come any closer," she said, eyes still out on the horizon, her voice harsh. "The waves may suck you under." And she wasn't much in the mood to save anyone. The only reason the waves weren't dragging her away was because of her strength where she stood. "If you have need of the beach there is endless amounts of it," she gestured to the miles of shore.

B. Wildfire [Closed to Maul (and observers)]

Finally, she thought.

"Don't hold back," her head tilted a bit to glance at the Sith behind her, though she did not fully face him, her back still turned to him.

There was a breath, a tic of a second, as if she might change her mind about the whole thing. After all, she was always so hesitant to fight anyone.

She exhaled.

The second passed.

She was already right in front of him, her tiny size and powers allowing her to be deadly fast, her Tiare was raised, fully intending to strike him in the head, whether or not he could block or dodge was his problem.

C. Smoke and ashes [Willful Machine]

The fight had done her a lot of good to get most of her anger out.

But so would shopping. She was currently looking at herself in the mirror, a bright pink and red outfit for springtime. She was turning this way and that with a soft hum and when she saw someone behind her in the mirror she spun around and grabbed their hand, her own nails were still quite sharp as her corruption was still edging away.

"I need your opinion!" she smiled brightly, feeling better and intending on buying a large spring wardrobe with some retail therapy. "How does this look?" she gave a little spin.

(OOC: Unless a character can read souls/auras/have sensitivity in the Force/magic to see through glamours, they will not be able to detect that Sailor Moon and Usagi are the same person.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She should have known where Maul went, Savage would follow. But Maul wasn't here yet. She glanced back behind her and then turned to look back out at the horizon.]

And what do I look like to you, Savage? [She asked.] What does my stare tell you?

[He didn't care that Maul wasn't here yet. He wasn't under the impression that Usagi - even in her powerful state - would attack him without cause. Besides, she wasn't the worst to talk to, even offered insights he might not have thought of and forced him to think and perhaps even grow a bit.]

You're lonely, perhaps afraid. [He stared at her a long quiet moment, drinking in the way that the Forced washed over his senses from her.] You also seem angry.

Well-sighted, yes I am all three. [She let out a sigh. Savage wasn't really the sort to judge her feelings, and she knew he didn't really like guessing. So she opens up to him.] Another person I love went home. And I worry that it's just... it's a matter of time that my last person from home will be taken.

And I want to destroy this whole planet.

That's why I called on your brother. He's going to make sure I don't do the latter. [She had no right to make that decision, but oh, oh, she wanted to.]

Those same people might come back too. [There were plenty of people that came and went to the sea. Was that harder or easier on someone else? He wouldn't know because only Maul was someone who mattered enough that he would be bothered if there was repeated comings and goings.] You know that you could also be drawn back to the sea and leave the last person here too.

That seems like a Maul-level extreme reaction to being alone. You have people here that care for you and haven't left you alone. Will they not override your despair and fear?

[He wasn't certain why Maul needed to be involved, but he was well-aware that those two had a connection he didn't entirely understand the full depths of. She made Maul content, and Maul drove her crazy so he supposed it just worked.] You want Maul to talk you down or fight you down.

They might... but they haven't, and I don't wish to wait several more thousand years to be reunited with my precious people.

[At the mention of her being drawn back to the sea and leaving Makoto here? She shook her head.] No. That would not happen, of that I am sure.

Am I not allowed my anger? [She turned to look at him, scowling.] Simply because I want to burn down this hell-hole doesn't mean I have. Are even my angry thoughts forbidden? Must everything always be perfect and good and righteous about me? They do matter, that's why I am HERE instead of tearing down this whole damn planet and hurting everyone.

I want to be angry, I want to not have to swallow down my pain because I'm me. And the only person who seems to allow me to be angry without judging that I am, without trying to tell me to let my anger go, is your brother.

If I gave in to my anger, if I truly allowed myself to feel the actual anger I have about this place, this planet would not be here and you would all be dead, it is ridiculously easy for me to destroy a planet.

This place better not still be standing in several thousand years.

[It was difficult for him to imagine anyone living for that long, what with Zabrak barely making it to eighty. Most Nightbrothers didn't make it past forty, though some could go to sixty or so if the conditions were right and their importance deemed worth continued to spent resources on.

He did know that Usagi was ancient. It still wasn't possible for him to know what that was like.]

You are allowed your anger as well as every other emotion that you have. No one can deny you that, but anger is generally unlike you. [Perhaps in this form where she was radiating the Force she was more likely to be angry.] You may even use your anger like a weapon, but it will destroy this place. I'm sure it would be impressive to see.

[He shrugged his shoulders. He had no doubt she could destroy everything. It didn't even particularly bother him.]

According to the legends, it already has. [She very well may destroy this place if she was here thousands of years later. She may go insane being stuck here this long, no better than the other Pthumerians too far removed from any notion of kindness and sympathy for people.]

My anger is dangerous... [She offered as she looked over to him.] But also I have not succeeded in anything with my anger. It only ever made things worse.

Destruction is easy for me. Destruction is easy for everyone.

I don't want to destroy anything, I have no right to do such a thing to this planet.

So I have to get rid of my anger. [Plus, she's corrupted, she suspects that has something else to do with it.]

[Savage could only shrug his large mismatched shoulders to her warnings.] Everyone’s anger is dangerous. Yours just seems to have wider impact for everyone else if you release it.

[He tilted his head to the side as he considered her words, eyes moving towards the ocean’s waves. This place was less violent than Deerington, but there were plenty of threats, including from the Sleepers themselves. Some certainly were very powerful, and Usage was one of them.]

Why don’t you have a right to destroy things? You’re the strongest female. Where I’m from, that means that you can release your anger at whomever or whatever you like. Most of the witches focus their anger on certain activities… or so I’m told.

[Sometimes Dathomir bore the scars of a witch in turmoil. He didn't want to be subject to her world-destroying anger.]

Exactly, that's why I can't release it.

[She closed her eyes.]

Being the strongest does not give me the right to anything. If anything, it is because I am strong that I have a greater responsibility not to abuse it.

It's so very easy to abuse power when you have it, Savage. Simply because I am strong and I can does not mean I have the right. Strength is different in the eyes of everyone. You view my power as strength, but I view strength in a different way.

But tell me about these activities, please?

[Of course he understood her sentiment. He had felt power that had been abused on more than once occasion, and it had never been a particularly enjoyable experience. However, he also recognized that if he had been stronger and had better skill with his own power, perhaps he would not have been so easily abused.]

There are scars on the land that are rumored to be from a Nightsister. Sometimes Nightbrothers disappear from the walls of a watch. Or the most vicious of creatures that live on our planet end up dead in gruesome ways.

[He shrugged his shoulders like this was all rather normal.]

I once heard that a separate village of Nightbrothers was brought to ruin in one day. No survivors.

More destruction, then. [She shook her head. It was not her place to judge a planet and culture not her own, but it seemed there wasn't an ounce of kindness to be found on Maul and Savage's planet.]

Those hobbies are not for me, then. I am not seeking to destroy anything, if I was, I would have already done so with this planet.

I don't want to save the world

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