deercountry | I don't want to save the world

Who: Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon and you!
What: Usagi is dealing with mild corruption and is trying to get rid of it
When: Through mid-March
Where: Beach and Willful Machine

Content Warnings: Violence

A. Strike the Match [Beach]

When the thought 'I wish I could just destroy this whole place' entered her mind, she knew she was in trouble. She knew she was in at least SOME stage of corruption and needed to get it in check.

But the people, outside of Makoto, who she would talk to about the corruption were. all. gone.

And that was the problem. That was why she kept having the thought. Rei, Minako, Hotaru, Setsuna, Varian, Atsushi, Bella, the list went on and on and on and on and on. It was just her and Makoto now.

And then the fearful thought, 'But when would Makoto be next?' would come.

When would another loved one, another precious person be taken? What was even the point to keep going if they were all gone? This was not the first time she had had such thoughts. But this wasn't about Galaxia and an endless war and all life going on. This was just her and her life. This wasn't home. It got incredibly difficult to keep going, to keep hoping they may someday arrive, because there was no way to bring them out of the ocean. But also, she didn't WANT them to arrive. That was the hitch, the problem.

She missed all of her precious people like crazy.

But in her truest of heart's desires, she could never wish them to come to this hell, even if she knew the girls would follow her without hesitation.

"But you're not here," she told the crashing waves. She was Sailor Moon right now, waiting for Maul.

She was so. damn. tired. of this world taking from her, hurting her, and how she was supposed to be okay with it. She didn't even get to mourn Hotaru because this world made her so happy that all she could do was be glad Hotaru got out.

She wasn't okay.

Sailor Moon watched the waves crash around her, a storm out on the horizon making them harsher than usual. The wind whipped her hair around her, her wings going back and forth with the breeze. In her hand was her Tiare.

She sensed someone coming towards her. It wasn't Maul she sensed, but another.

"I would not come any closer," she said, eyes still out on the horizon, her voice harsh. "The waves may suck you under." And she wasn't much in the mood to save anyone. The only reason the waves weren't dragging her away was because of her strength where she stood. "If you have need of the beach there is endless amounts of it," she gestured to the miles of shore.

B. Wildfire [Closed to Maul (and observers)]

Finally, she thought.

"Don't hold back," her head tilted a bit to glance at the Sith behind her, though she did not fully face him, her back still turned to him.

There was a breath, a tic of a second, as if she might change her mind about the whole thing. After all, she was always so hesitant to fight anyone.

She exhaled.

The second passed.

She was already right in front of him, her tiny size and powers allowing her to be deadly fast, her Tiare was raised, fully intending to strike him in the head, whether or not he could block or dodge was his problem.

C. Smoke and ashes [Willful Machine]

The fight had done her a lot of good to get most of her anger out.

But so would shopping. She was currently looking at herself in the mirror, a bright pink and red outfit for springtime. She was turning this way and that with a soft hum and when she saw someone behind her in the mirror she spun around and grabbed their hand, her own nails were still quite sharp as her corruption was still edging away.

"I need your opinion!" she smiled brightly, feeling better and intending on buying a large spring wardrobe with some retail therapy. "How does this look?" she gave a little spin.

(OOC: Unless a character can read souls/auras/have sensitivity in the Force/magic to see through glamours, they will not be able to detect that Sailor Moon and Usagi are the same person.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I am," she offered in response. He already knew the big secret... well half of the big secret, she doesn't recall him meeting Serenity. "This world keeps taking my loved ones from me," she looked at him, wondering when he was next.

"I'm tired of losing the people I love and rather than destroy this planet, I came here. I'm waiting for Maul."

He paused at that, giving her a sideways glance.

"...you're not going to kill him, are you?" he couldn't help but ask. He had faith in her, and hoped he knew her well enough to believe in her ability to hold herself back, but if she was annoyed enough...

And, well... Maul could be annoying.

"I don't intend to," she offered, "He's always wanted to fight me," even though they both knew she could just kill him with a blink if she actually desired it. "The alternative is destroying this wretched planet, and I haven't that right."

He's not at all surprised that Maul's wanted to square off against Usagi. The alternative being destroying the planet was a concern, though, and he couldn't help but reach for her, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

"You know... if this doesn't help, I'm here for you, Usagi," he said softly.

"I don't like my sharp edges, Luke," she said softly. "But I'm scared to be beaten by time and events like waves until I'm smooth and without the means of cutting someone open... but... a rock can still be thrown and crack a skull. So long as I exist, I am dangerous. Unless I become nothing, not even a grain of sand I will always be dangerous. I didn't always use to be, you know. Now, I cannot be anything less. And I'm tired of being scared I will hurt the people I love... or even the world I hate."

"I know what you mean," Luke said softly. After he learned the truth of his parentage, he questioned himself constantly, if he was destined to fall, to hurt the people he loved and hated at the same time; to become a scourge on the galaxy like his father was. For a long time he felt his very existence made him dangerous.

But...

"We're the ones that are in control of our powers," he continued gently. "Our morals, our faith; in the end, we're the line between our abilities and destruction."

"My morals and faith..." she repeated. Her morals might be enough but her faith... That felt tested time and time and time and time again. Faith in herself was... hard to believe, but she had faith in her friends and they had faith in her.

That's how she could get by. "I shall tell you a secret, Luke. I don't have faith in myself," she closed her eyes. "But I have faith in the people I love, and for some reason, they have faith in me."

Luke paused for a moment, before letting out a soft laugh, his shoulders sagging as he ducked his head down.

"...I can't even begin to tell you how much I relate to that feeling," he said softly, before meeting her gaze again. "But I can say... I have faith in you too, and it's that kind of faith I'm referring to. The faith your friends have in you is what makes you strong. Stronger than I think you realize."

She inhaled sharply. Shew knew why the girls had faith in her. Or at least, she had an IDEA why the girls had faith in her. She did everything she possibly could to love them, help them, protect them, cheer them on, and be there for their highs and lows. She was their sister in arms and had, time and again, fought beside them and grown with them.

"And why do you have faith in me, Luke?"

I don't want to save the world

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