deercountry | Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing.

[ Birthdays usually weren't a big deal. Most people didn't even know when his was. He often lied and said it was April 1st (cause he was funny, you see) when he was asked. It would have been just another day if he was still in London. Another voice message from Marcus. And that, dear readers, was the key proponent of tonight's drinking session. The should have done's. The one who got away.

Op, someone was talking to him. Wrench lugged his head up and turned— blink blink. Huh. Didn't dwell too long on the ears and tail thing. Listen, he's watched anime. He'll admit it. ] Wha—? Oh. Uh. [ Awkward laugh goes here. ] That obvious, huh?

[He smiled and shrugged a little bit.]

Somewhat. But... I won't force you if you don't want to. It's up to you.

[Hm. Well. He should ask.]

Do you mind if I sit here anyway? You look like you could use the company. But if you'd rather be alone, I won't push you.

[ Wrench nodded toward the seat with a nod. He's not good at talking about his emotions; not good at expressing them either a lot of the time at least particular ones. So much so that he made a mask and an entire persona to attempt to alleviate some of that. Though the alcohol would help eventually but his mind went spiraling out of control on all the what ifs. It was insane the paranoid gymnastics he was capable of, dude.

The man hummed. ] Hey, uh. Thanks. For asking, I mean. Yeah, please. Feel free to join me.

[ People saw him as loud. He made it that way. He's been a surprising amount of serious lately, actually, which kinda bothered him a little. Needed to fix that sometime soon. Point was, the real Wren— the real Reggie wasn't Wrench, and he looked like Wrench right now but he didn't feel like him. And he was full of all sorts of nervous ticks from the way he talked to the way he fidgeted with the fresh shot glass. ]

I— [ Yup. Words. No worky. He'll just tip the shot glass against the still untouched one and down the hatch with it. ]

[He sat down across from Wrench, setting his drink down lightly. He didn't touch the other shotglass - it was clearly for someone who wasn't there. Whether just 'not in Trench' or 'not alive anymore' he wasn't sure, though there also wasn't that much of a difference given Trench being... Trench.]

Of course. Just because we're in a - well. In a less popular sort of bar. That doesn't mean you can just barge in on someone's thoughts.

[He waited for the other to finish his shot, sipping at his own drink before nodding.]

... You miss them.

[It wasn't a question.]

They must be important to you.

[Gods, how many people could he leave a drink for? Too many. Too many memories and too much blood.]

Edited 2023-04-11 19:00 (UTC)

[ Those glowing X's flicked to something more somber when Wrench cast his gaze back to Nara'a. u_u. And they returned to the bar top shortly after. He could feel that warm fuzzy. Part of the reason he did the vast majority of his emotional drinking alone, even back in Dedsec. Those were people he trusted but not enough to let them know more about him than he was willing to give sober.

Fingers picked at the glass. And here he was. Slipping, like he'd been slipping for the past several years. Guess a person could only maintain that kind of armor for so long. Now he was here in some dive crying over a boy. ]

Sharon said. [ It almost surprised him that his voice modulator was still on. That was how not-Wrench he felt. He tried again, idly turning the empty shot glass in his palm now. ] that friends often wash up after one from a group has arrived but. [ He shook his head a bit. ] I hope he doesn't.

[ Then, pulling up that friendly face (took a little dragging but he got there), Wrench turned his attention to the other person again. ] Can I get you a drink, dude?

Edited (aaah i fucked up html lol) 2023-04-14 02:54 (UTC)

[People showing up? ... He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if he wanted more of his friends here or not.]

I can understand that. And... sure, if you'd like. Nothing too strong. I'm easy to drink under the table.

[He laughed lightly, his tail swishing in amusement. If this was where the other wanted the conversation to go, he wasn't going to stop him.]

Just... don't spend too much on my behalf.

[Though he was still going to watch whomever was pouring the drinks. Just in case. He couldn't quite help it.]

[ Wrench was not exactly thinking about... well, he was thinking about a lot of things, and feeling a lot of things, but he wasn't thinking about what to talk about, or where to go with things. He was just... going, and drinking. A free flow of emotions and thoughts. He shouldn't talk. Maybe he should leave. He didn't, though. He stayed. ]

Choice is yours, man. I'm not usually the make decisions for other people type, but whatever you order let 'em know its on me.

[ He gave a wave for the bartender to come over. It happens, the watching. Whatever paranoia or reason Nara'a had for it Wrench was sure it was a good one. Everyone had their thing, right? Or several. ]

Sure.

[He headed up to the bar, leaving the remnants of his previous drink behind. He considered the options and picked one out, taking the bottle and heading back to Wrench after a moment, sitting down again.]

... You know, whatever you're feeling... it's okay to feel. Sorry if that's a little invasive I just... know plenty of people who would try to stop themselves from feeling. And that's not healthy.

[ Wrench slouched back into his seat even further while Nara'a had briefly departed. He thought about more what ifs and things he should have done before whatever it was that got him landed here had happened. When the other man returned with a drink and spoke his piece on the whole hiding emotions thing, Wrench's body jerked in a reaction that was about to launch into how he was always pretty emotional and open with them.

But that wasn't true. He was open with his anger, and that's where it stopped. Everything else was a ruse. His entire person, the person that Nara'a was engaging with now was a persona that he made in order to keep himself safe and navigate the turbulent waters of society and people that he constantly felt incapable of actually connecting with; that he always felt alien to.

So Wrench looked away for a moment and sighed. ] You know why I wear this? [ A finger pointed up to his mask. Of course the other guy didn't, probably. Opening lines and all that, though. ]

[He pressed his lips together in a thin line. Avoidant, hurt by the world... there were many reasons why someone might want to do that sort of thing. But he couldn't tell for sure, so... he shook his head.]

No. Why?

[It was a strange mask anyway, with some... weird eyes that he wasn't sure what to make of.]

[ He thought about it a little longer. Looked away with a muttered 'nah, it doesn't matter' under his breath. Fingers started to search for something to fidget with. Knee started bopping restlessly. He was drunk, but he wasn't so drunk that he'd just say shit without thinking. Bot this kind of shit, at least. So why the fuck did he just offer to open up to a complete stranger?

Not like him. And yeah, he's grown. He's older. Maybe that was it. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he wanted, some part of him wanted, to let Wrench go. He did before. Again, under his breath, he just mutters a 'fuck it'. ] Well, yanno. [ Wrench finally addresses Nara'a. Expressive, the LED's and his body language. ] Might blow your mind here, but I was a weird kid. [ Okay, not ready to be detailed. That's okay. Baby steps and whatever. ] This. [ A finger pointed to the mask again. ] Helps me navigate things. Like a cane, or— [ it looks as if he's searching for the words with his hands ]

Anyway, its not that I don't let myself feel things. Fuck that toxic masculinity bullshit. Its more that uh, yeah, I dunno. Sometimes I'm not good at... connecting?

Were you now?

[He does his best to hide his smile, but... ah. That... makes sense.]

... I knew a boy who navigated the world in a mask as well. Younger than you - at least physically - but I can understand that. ... Were you afraid I would laugh? Because it's... it makes sense. And anyone who might give you trouble for that is wrong. We all have different ways of moving through the world.

Thank you for telling me, though. ... I know we just met, but you can feel free to contact me whenever you need. My name's Nara'a.

Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing.

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