How can he not? It's what he does with all his nervous energy, it's where he channels all his feelings: idle hands, idle mind and all that. Flynn's mind when idle is a terrible place, full of spinning thoughts and worry about the future, and it's bleaker now because he can't seem to make himself stop thinking about Yuri, bloody-mouthed and half-beaten, grinning victoriously at him. Yuri had come back to save him in Aurnion and Flynn repaid the favor by doing nothing at all.
He puts on tea, though, and listens closely to the hum of water from upstairs, pours probably too much, dissolves a lemon gel in it, and shoves everything onto a tray to carry back upstairs with numb fingers. At the top, the unexpectedly-slick floor has him nearly tripping, makes him shove his hand down onto the teapot to keep everything from spilling because on the floor is...
...water.
Of course.
He snorts, and it tips into helpless laughter that shakes his shoulders as he skirts the rest of the drops, heading into their bedroom. ]
[ The laughter startles him, still naked but now wrapped in the blanket (so warm, like when he's sleeping with Flynn at night, their limbs tangled together, Flynn's body warm, so warm against his). He looks up and a smile just touches his lips when Flynn comes in the room. He's tired, or else he'd be better at putting on a face about all of this. ]
What, you thought I'd be changed or something?
[ It's a joke, but, well.
Maybe he should be.
The smile falters when his eyes meet Flynn's. He wishes he were better at pretending right now. Pretending like everything that happened wasn't horrible, wasn't awful, wasn't a painful experience to go through, physically, emotionally, mentally.
He takes a shaky breath and looks down at Repede, curled by next to him on the bed ]
[ Kind of, Flynn doesn't say, and presses the tray carefully onto their small beside table with his heart in his throat. He hates that look on Yuri's face, hates the faltering smile and the quiet, the odd pallor to his skin and those strange fangs. Flynn has no idea what to do, what's going on: he's out of his depth and sick with worry and has been for days now. He's running on barely any sleep and too-little food, heartsick exhaustion making his limbs heavy and his head slow.
All he can do is sink down on Yuri's other side and wrap an arm around him. ]
It's okay if you are.
[ The words come out unbidden, quiet in the still air. ]
I would be. If I'd been... trapped there. It was horrible. I can't imagine. Or—I imagined it too much. I'm... so glad you're alright.
[ Yuri's eyes fall shut, and he doesn't move, but the weight of Flynn's arm helps. It's comforting, familiar, makes him feel a little less crazy after everything that happened to him. ]
Knew you'd be torturing yourself over it. I'm-- [ not fine, not really ] alive. I got out.
[ Some people didn't, and that hurts to think about. It hurts to think about that place, about all the people dying in there, people used for others' gain.
His hands curl in the blanket, deciding to change the subject ]
This is nice. [ The blanket ] What kind of magic is it?
[ Like Yuri wouldn't have been torturing himself, too. Like Yuri would have been any less frantic, any less upset, although possibly more measured: he has always been slightly more cool-headed in a crisis than Flynn.
But he is alive, and that is what matters. Everything else they can deal with later. Flynn won't push him while he's still so cold and so subdued. ]
Blood magic. What else?
[ He can't tell Yuri the details of it, because he figures he won't like those at all: how he went to a small strange shop in Prufrock and sat there for hours with blood draining from his arm, how his blood infuses that red, red thread and radiates the heat Yuri always seems to be missing. ]
It was a strange process to watch, but it seems to work, and they made it in such a way that the pollution was lessened. Used it all, cleared the air afterwards.
[ Should he be disgusted by that? He's too tired and it's to warm to be, and if Flynn thought it was okay, well.
He trusts Flynn. Trusts his judgement, and touched that he would even think of getting Yuri a present (is it because they're having sex, now? Did that change their relationship so much that gifts got involved?).
Too tired, he sags against Flynn, nodding his head. ]
Do weird stuff with blood, here. Y'know, that's what they wanted. Blood. My blood, Kaeya's blood, Lysithea's. [ Flynn's ] Took it. Lots of it. So fucking tired, Flynn.
[ Flynn sucks in a sharp breath at the words and the weight of Yuri's head both.
It makes sense. Of course it does: they'd been collecting blood by the buckets, and there's only one place to get blood, and of course Yuri had gotten himself trapped again, because Flynn wasn't there to help him and they likely would have been overwhelmed eventually anyway.
And he'd known, distantly, that other people must be trapped there as well, because the city was quiet and haunted by zealots.
And Yuri is tired because he was bled for Goddess-knows-how-long, there in that awful place alone. Flynn presses his nose into Yuri's still-damp hair, trying to make himself breathe. ]
The people who were taking it were also out hunting Sleepers down. I tried to get one to bring me back to the tower. It's impossible to find on your own.
Flynn-- [ A small part of him rails against Flynn trying to find that place, trying to get stuck there again, that Yuri can handle it, that Flynn should stay out here, stay free. He's more important than that.
But Flynn would hate it if he said any of that out loud. ]
Fuck. Bet tons of people are still in there. Gotta do something.
I wasn't better off out here with you still in there.
[ Flynn bites out. It's not a negotiable thing in his own head: leaving Yuri in there to bleed out was an unacceptable outcome, something he could never even have considered, no matter what Yuri says, no matter the risk to his own life. If they'd have died in there together then at least when they'd come back together they could have figured something out. Better than letting Yuri think he was in there alone without any support while Flynn moved on with his life.
Which might not be what Yuri thinks. Flynn doesn't know anymore: he's too tired to think clearly, catastrophizing where he shouldn't be, and he knows it. He turns his head, pressing his forehead against Yuri's. ]
I'm always going to come back for you. You have to know that.
[ Emotion balls up in Yuri's throat. He's the one who should be saying that, not Flynn. Flynn's the one who's worth a damn to the world, the one who can change things. He's the one who grew up, who moved on, who became someone great, who shouldn't be with Yuri. Yuri knows that, knows that Flynn could do so much better than him. That Flynn could be with someone as great as he is, but for some reason he kissed Yuri, gives him presents, risks his life to look for him.
Yuri doesn't deserve that. He doesn't need that. But he sure as hell wants it. He wants it in a way that makes him kind of sick. He wants Flynn, he wants Flynn to stay with him, to want him. He doesn't want Flynn to risk his life for him, no, but everything else?
[ Flynn didn't, maybe, on the surface, but deep down he knows very well: Yuri is too good to abandon Flynn, too kind and compassionate and stubborn to ever leave someone in trouble when he could do something about it. ]
So don't you dare tell me not to come after you. I don't want to hear it.
[ The thing is, he's so tired. He could let it be. He could just nod and say "yes, of course, Flynn," but he's not in a coherent enough headspace to say that and only that. ]
Shouldn't.
[ He murmurs it against Flynn's shoulder, his eyes falling shut. He should really sleep, or eat something at least. His body feels heavy, weak ]
What would it do, Flynn? Then we'd both be stuck in there. Don't want, don't want that to happen to you. Don't want to see you like that. Too good [ For that, too good to let that happen to. ]
[ That thing flares in Flynn all over again. He can't move—Yuri is leaning on him like he never does, heavy-headed and exhausted—but he clutches tighter to Yuri all the same, something like anger simmering in his belly.
He shouldn't engage. He knows that. Yuri is exhausted and talking more than he ever does, and Flynn knows very well what ridiculous things he'd said when he was shaky-limbed from his own rebirth, chased by memories of dying. He'd been full of fear and guilt and shame all at once that Yuri had to support him like that, and he can only imagine Yuri is feeling some combination of the same thing under the leaden wall of exhaustion pressing him down.
With a rough sound, Flynn tugs at Yuri, pulling him back along the bed to make him lie down. ]
[ "Yes" Yuri would say, if he didn't still have some sense of self-preservation left in him. Some things are better left unsaid, and even his exhausted mind knows that.
He drops back onto the bed, curling up with the blanket wrapped tight around him. He doesn't want to let it go, too warm both from the heat and from the knowledge that Flynn gave this to him, Flynn thought about what he might want or need and got this for him, and that makes him feel all sorts of things. ]
I-- dunno. Make a better plan than "get stuck in there again."
[ Flynn moves with him, letting Yuri get settled before he tugs the blanket down around his feet, too, and moves to lie beside him. Maybe it's selfish of him to want to stay so close when Yuri probably just wants to sleep, but Flynn can't make himself move away. ]
I had a better plan.
[ He shifts a little closer still, watches Repede stretch out along Yuri's other side. ]
[ It's a stupid plan, and Yuri laughs, just a small puff of laughter. Flynn is close, and that's what matters because he's damned weak, too weak to push Flynn away like he probably should. He wants this so, so much ]
[ Flynn pushes a kiss against the side of his head to stop himself swatting at Yuri instead. The blanket really does radiate heat, and it feels good on Flynn's exhausted body, too. He'd gotten so stiff over the last few days, probably the lack of sleep, and now that he's lying here and Yuri is safe, he can't get up the strength to get up again. Instead he throws a thigh over Yuri's, letting his own bulk pin Yuri down like he seems to like, and lets his fingers drift down the side of his arm under the blanket. ]
[ Honestly, Yuri was expecting something a little more sophisticated than that. Flynn is the Commandant of the Empire. Right?
And he says "swords."
A laugh wells up in Yuri's chest, his body shaking until it bursts out of him, bright and loud, and for the first time in too many days, he feels happy. He's happy and safe and home and, yeah, that was horrible. It was terrible, and he still hurts and his mind feels heavy, but Flynn is right here next to him, saying he would have taken on all those guys with just his sword because he wanted to get to Yuri and
[ Flynn can't find it anywhere in himself to be annoyed with Yuri laughing like that. It takes him by surprise, sweeps through Yuri in a bubbling wave until he's shaking beneath Flynn, laughing bright and open and easy like he wasn't being tortured for days. Yuri's laughter has always been an infectious thing, or perhaps Flynn just orients himself too fully around Yuri, lets himself get caught in the warm and changeable tides of his feelings. Yuri laughs, and Flynn laughs with him, pressing his face into the curve of his shoulder as he laughs, helpless. ]
It's worked— [ he swats at Yuri without meaning it at all ] —plenty of times before!
[ Yuri waves his hands back at Flynn, feeling a lightness in his chest when he opens his eyes to see Flynn's too-blue eyes right there, so close to his, and his breath catches on a laugh. The laughter still bubbles in him, but it's forgotten now, watching Flynn laugh.
He has it so bad.
So bad, and he's so relieved and so tired and Flynn is right here and damn it, he loves him. ]
Then I can't see why you would be making fun of a perfectly functional plan.
[ Now Flynn is just pushing to keep that smile on his face, to keep the warmth in his eyes. Later, they can deal with the horrors Yuri inevitably saw, being drained of his blood for some awful purpose. Later they can come up with a plan to take the whole thing down with a little more complexity than "storm in there and get Yuri back."
For now, though, Flynn cranes his head just enough to kiss Yuri again, trapping their smiles between them. ]
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no subject
How can he not? It's what he does with all his nervous energy, it's where he channels all his feelings: idle hands, idle mind and all that. Flynn's mind when idle is a terrible place, full of spinning thoughts and worry about the future, and it's bleaker now because he can't seem to make himself stop thinking about Yuri, bloody-mouthed and half-beaten, grinning victoriously at him. Yuri had come back to save him in Aurnion and Flynn repaid the favor by doing nothing at all.
He puts on tea, though, and listens closely to the hum of water from upstairs, pours probably too much, dissolves a lemon gel in it, and shoves everything onto a tray to carry back upstairs with numb fingers. At the top, the unexpectedly-slick floor has him nearly tripping, makes him shove his hand down onto the teapot to keep everything from spilling because on the floor is...
...water.
Of course.
He snorts, and it tips into helpless laughter that shakes his shoulders as he skirts the rest of the drops, heading into their bedroom. ]
You made a mess, as usual.
no subject
What, you thought I'd be changed or something?
[ It's a joke, but, well.
Maybe he should be.
The smile falters when his eyes meet Flynn's. He wishes he were better at pretending right now. Pretending like everything that happened wasn't horrible, wasn't awful, wasn't a painful experience to go through, physically, emotionally, mentally.
He takes a shaky breath and looks down at Repede, curled by next to him on the bed ]
no subject
All he can do is sink down on Yuri's other side and wrap an arm around him. ]
It's okay if you are.
[ The words come out unbidden, quiet in the still air. ]
I would be. If I'd been... trapped there. It was horrible. I can't imagine. Or—I imagined it too much. I'm... so glad you're alright.
no subject
Knew you'd be torturing yourself over it. I'm-- [ not fine, not really ] alive. I got out.
[ Some people didn't, and that hurts to think about. It hurts to think about that place, about all the people dying in there, people used for others' gain.
His hands curl in the blanket, deciding to change the subject ]
This is nice. [ The blanket ] What kind of magic is it?
no subject
But he is alive, and that is what matters. Everything else they can deal with later. Flynn won't push him while he's still so cold and so subdued. ]
Blood magic. What else?
[ He can't tell Yuri the details of it, because he figures he won't like those at all: how he went to a small strange shop in Prufrock and sat there for hours with blood draining from his arm, how his blood infuses that red, red thread and radiates the heat Yuri always seems to be missing. ]
It was a strange process to watch, but it seems to work, and they made it in such a way that the pollution was lessened. Used it all, cleared the air afterwards.
no subject
[ Should he be disgusted by that? He's too tired and it's to warm to be, and if Flynn thought it was okay, well.
He trusts Flynn. Trusts his judgement, and touched that he would even think of getting Yuri a present (is it because they're having sex, now? Did that change their relationship so much that gifts got involved?).
Too tired, he sags against Flynn, nodding his head. ]
Do weird stuff with blood, here. Y'know, that's what they wanted. Blood. My blood, Kaeya's blood, Lysithea's. [ Flynn's ] Took it. Lots of it. So fucking tired, Flynn.
no subject
It makes sense. Of course it does: they'd been collecting blood by the buckets, and there's only one place to get blood, and of course Yuri had gotten himself trapped again, because Flynn wasn't there to help him and they likely would have been overwhelmed eventually anyway.
And he'd known, distantly, that other people must be trapped there as well, because the city was quiet and haunted by zealots.
And Yuri is tired because he was bled for Goddess-knows-how-long, there in that awful place alone. Flynn presses his nose into Yuri's still-damp hair, trying to make himself breathe. ]
The people who were taking it were also out hunting Sleepers down. I tried to get one to bring me back to the tower. It's impossible to find on your own.
no subject
But Flynn would hate it if he said any of that out loud. ]
Fuck. Bet tons of people are still in there. Gotta do something.
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If you were about to tell me I shouldn't have been trying—
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He shakes his head, letting out a sigh, and stays close because Flynn is warm and it feels good to be close to him like this. ]
I was going to say that you're better off out here. I don't want you to get, get trapped in there again. Dunno if you'll be as lucky next time.
no subject
[ Flynn bites out. It's not a negotiable thing in his own head: leaving Yuri in there to bleed out was an unacceptable outcome, something he could never even have considered, no matter what Yuri says, no matter the risk to his own life. If they'd have died in there together then at least when they'd come back together they could have figured something out. Better than letting Yuri think he was in there alone without any support while Flynn moved on with his life.
Which might not be what Yuri thinks. Flynn doesn't know anymore: he's too tired to think clearly, catastrophizing where he shouldn't be, and he knows it. He turns his head, pressing his forehead against Yuri's. ]
I'm always going to come back for you. You have to know that.
no subject
Yuri doesn't deserve that. He doesn't need that. But he sure as hell wants it. He wants it in a way that makes him kind of sick. He wants Flynn, he wants Flynn to stay with him, to want him. He doesn't want Flynn to risk his life for him, no, but everything else?
Yeah. He wants that. ]
And you know I'll do the same thing.
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[ Flynn didn't, maybe, on the surface, but deep down he knows very well: Yuri is too good to abandon Flynn, too kind and compassionate and stubborn to ever leave someone in trouble when he could do something about it. ]
So don't you dare tell me not to come after you. I don't want to hear it.
no subject
Shouldn't.
[ He murmurs it against Flynn's shoulder, his eyes falling shut. He should really sleep, or eat something at least. His body feels heavy, weak ]
What would it do, Flynn? Then we'd both be stuck in there. Don't want, don't want that to happen to you. Don't want to see you like that. Too good [ For that, too good to let that happen to. ]
no subject
He shouldn't engage. He knows that. Yuri is exhausted and talking more than he ever does, and Flynn knows very well what ridiculous things he'd said when he was shaky-limbed from his own rebirth, chased by memories of dying. He'd been full of fear and guilt and shame all at once that Yuri had to support him like that, and he can only imagine Yuri is feeling some combination of the same thing under the leaden wall of exhaustion pressing him down.
With a rough sound, Flynn tugs at Yuri, pulling him back along the bed to make him lie down. ]
What would you have me do instead? Abandon you?
no subject
He drops back onto the bed, curling up with the blanket wrapped tight around him. He doesn't want to let it go, too warm both from the heat and from the knowledge that Flynn gave this to him, Flynn thought about what he might want or need and got this for him, and that makes him feel all sorts of things. ]
I-- dunno. Make a better plan than "get stuck in there again."
no subject
I had a better plan.
[ He shifts a little closer still, watches Repede stretch out along Yuri's other side. ]
It was "get Yuri out too."
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Oh, yeah? How were you gonna do that?
no subject
Sword.
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And he says "swords."
A laugh wells up in Yuri's chest, his body shaking until it bursts out of him, bright and loud, and for the first time in too many days, he feels happy. He's happy and safe and home and, yeah, that was horrible. It was terrible, and he still hurts and his mind feels heavy, but Flynn is right here next to him, saying he would have taken on all those guys with just his sword because he wanted to get to Yuri and
Yeah
That's fucking hilarious. ]
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It's worked— [ he swats at Yuri without meaning it at all ] —plenty of times before!
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[ Yuri waves his hands back at Flynn, feeling a lightness in his chest when he opens his eyes to see Flynn's too-blue eyes right there, so close to his, and his breath catches on a laugh. The laughter still bubbles in him, but it's forgotten now, watching Flynn laugh.
He has it so bad.
So bad, and he's so relieved and so tired and Flynn is right here and damn it, he loves him. ]
no subject
[ Now Flynn is just pushing to keep that smile on his face, to keep the warmth in his eyes. Later, they can deal with the horrors Yuri inevitably saw, being drained of his blood for some awful purpose. Later they can come up with a plan to take the whole thing down with a little more complexity than "storm in there and get Yuri back."
For now, though, Flynn cranes his head just enough to kiss Yuri again, trapping their smiles between them. ]