We Were Stupid, We Got Caught ( closed )

[bardbarous]

Who: Tuck bardbarous, Vyng spiritwalks, and Fat Billie wapples
What: The Spout Lore fam live together, love together, and then one of them gets kidnapped
When: during the month of November
Where: Sleeper Farms and other places

Content Warnings: child endangerment, torture, body mutilation

Comments

[spiritwalks]

Nahhh. Nothing like that. Francis generally minds his Ps and Qs.

[Vyng turns to the dresser and pulls open one of the drawers. Curled inside is a conked-out halfling child the size of a house cat, softly snoozing away.]

Stuff like this, on the other hand...

[siriusly]

Gih--!! [Manabu jolts a little when he double-takes and sees a child in there. after the initial sound, he hushes himself and shoots a wide-eyed, incredulous look at Vyng.

hissed in a whisper:] Why is there a kid in there?!

[spiritwalks]

[Whispered back, patiently:]

That's not a goat, Manabu. That's a child.

And not just a child. He's ours.

[siriusly]

WH--[eyeballs nearly pop out of his face, and he grabs Vyng by the sleeve to tug him out into the hallway so he can be a bit louder.]

No he's not! Yours? Maybe? Why's he in my room!

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng doesn't fight it. He's easily pulled out of the room and stumbles into the hallway after Manabu.]

Billie likes cozy places. Kinda like a cat. That's why I asked Francis to find the comfiest room.

[siriusly]

[Manabu stands there and processes that for a moment before his expression scrunches.

and where the heck am i supposed to be in all of this?! gah, he's too polite to chew this weirdo out and properly vent, so he can only just rub at his face in plain exasperation.]

Okay. So. So, I'll just. Move to another room. I guess. Alright. Fine.

[spiritwalks]

[Move to another room?]

What, are you allergic to children?

[siriusly]

No, but I'm not about to sleep in a room with some other person's kids! That's definitely not normal. And I don't know what to do if a little kid's in crisis, you know?

[spiritwalks]

Who said anything about you two sharing a room? That's weird, man.

[...says the fucking weirdo who talks to animals and hangs from chandeliers.]

[siriusly]

That's my point! [GAHHHH] But I'm not going to kick a kick out of a room when they're sleeping, you know? So I gotta go somewhere else, especially if this is going to be an ongoing thing.

[spiritwalks]

Just check the drawers before you go to bed. If you find him, we'll haul him back to the tent like a sack of potatoes. Problem solved.

[siriusly]

[Manabu makes an unhappy face (wow, it's almost like he's chock full of these faces nowadays!)]

...Just take the dresser. If he likes it, then whatever.

[spiritwalks]

It's not the dresser he's after. It's the coziness of it. If you take your clothes out of it, he won't wanna sleep there anymore.

But don't worry, buddy.

[He clasps Manabu's shoulder.]

You'll get used to it.

[siriusly]

[Manabu wobbles a little under said clasping before stabilizing, still looking none-too-happy even in light of the easy-breezy assurance.]

No chance you can just find a cozier drawer of clothes for him, huh...

[spiritwalks]

Oh, hey, that's a great idea. We could try making him one and leaving it outside your door. Maybe make it extra-inviting with some enchanted coldblood stones. A compromise — that's what roomies do, right?

[He affectionately jostles Manabu's shoulder again.]

[siriusly]

R...right... [he sighs.

beat. wait--] Hang on, it's the coldblood that's doing it? Not the clothes?

[spiritwalks]

Is it? [Now you've gone and added another wrench into this, Manabu.] Can't coldbloods warm things up? You know, like...furnace-y, fireplace stuff.

[They're called COLDBLOODS, Vyng.......]

[siriusly]

I...m-maybe? But I'm not warm.

[...]

And I don't...spontaneously combust anymore. Usually. [...] See, this is what I'm saying! It's--it's just not a good idea, you know? I don't want to accidentally hurt a kid...!

[spiritwalks]

I'd be more afraid of pissing Dad off. [And by "Dad", he means Tuck. But suddenly Manabu's actual words sink in, and Vyng's eyebrows furrow in confusion. Wait, hold on—] When's the last time you spontaneously combusted?

[siriusly]

Uh-- [crap. he didn't really wanna retread that ground - it's embarrassing and kind of emasculating? - but his endless effort to get higher ground in this compromise has led him to self-sabotage. he flushes red for a moment, shoulders drawing up.] N-not that recently! Not, not for a while, actually, so--so unless something really crazy happens there, I...um...

[his eyes wince.]

...I can just...sleep in another room if he's in mine. It's fine. Nev-never mind.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng's voice softens.]

Buddy. Did you ever talk to Mako about that?

[siriusly]

[rankled, he puts up his hands and bustles on away, on toward the stairs.] It's fine, I said! I'm going out.

[spiritwalks]

Hey, hey, hey...

[His expression creases into a concerned frown, although he doesn't give chase. Instead, he adds:] It's okay! You don't need to be embarrassed around me. I turn into fire sometimes too.

[Granted, it's on purpose. But still.]