deercountry | [Open] Keep it locked up, keep it sealed tight

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[Open] Keep it locked up, keep it sealed tight

Who: Varian and YOU!
What: Varian's final corrupted days, his beasthood turn and the aftermath. See his corruption/monster page HERE!
When: First 2 weeks of Jan- before the event.
Where: Around the city!

Content Warnings: Applicable content warnings go here. Mentions of death, corruption, dissociation.

Hope you've stocked up - Last days of corruption

Anyone who's close to Varian will have noticed his slow corruption growth over the last two months. By the time January rolls around, things have gotten worse instead of better. By now his skin is made of a thick, black rock. This same black rock has turned his teeth into sharp fangs and his nails into claws. two amber horns sprout out from his head, and his elbows and one remaining ankle have spurs of the same stuff- as is the tail he's since gotten, flicking nervously as he paces around- firey red eyes darting around furtively.

He'd largely been keeping himself out of sight, trying to handle this alone, but his hallucinations have driven him onwards. He stares at things seemingly only he can see. If he comes across you, he'll grip your arm tightly (sorry if those claws hurt, he's not even thinking about it). He points at an empty spot of nothing, worry on his face.

"Eugene!" you are definitely not Eugene, but it's clear that's who he's seeing right now. "We- we gotta deal with these rocks before they take over everything! There's...there's got to be a cavern around here somewhere so we can cut them off, right?"

It's a long night - Monsterdom (Gaze and surrounding area)

Regardless of how much or how little help he gets in his final days of corruption, eventually, Fern decides enough is enough and the best way to handle this is to Fistfight God. Which is to say, he goes off to confront The Tower about this and gets himself killed by Never Mind in the process. Varian got there too late, and being the driving reason behind his boyfriend dying again was the final nail in the coffin for him.

The transformation is quick and sharp, and what's left is a a ten-foot rock monster spewing fire everywhere. His leg is still missing in this form, at least, which should help anyone with a quick ID-check. Varian himself rages through the city, slamming against buildings and breathing fire at anyone foolish enough to come close. It's definitely attracting the attention of nearby hunters- so perhaps finding a way to talk him back down before there's another death today would be for the best?

Nothing good is meant to stay - Aftermath

Eventually, Varian lets his friends in, lets them talk him down and the best hood fades. Parts of corruption still cling to him- his skin is still an unhealthy grey colour and his nails aren't quite back to normal yet. He's also sitting in a ball on the floor- partly out of shock and partly because he can't go anywhere without his leg - if someone could fetch him that, that would be awesome.

Or perhaps you come to him in the days that follow. He mostly stays near the Disaster House in Cassandra, as he waits for Fern to come back to life. He can be found inside the house, or sometimes sitting on the front porch, people-watching. Though he's certainly not better yet, day by day the signs of corruption lessen. Any visitors will get a tired smile, he's still a little withdrawn, but he's getting there.

"H-hey, thanks for checking in," nothing has changed how awkward he is at least! "Um...how are you doing?"

Because obviously, you're here for him to check up on you. Obviously.

[[OOC: The monster battle is intended to be open to any CR who want to take part. No ONE character will be responsible for talking him down from monsterdom, it is intended to be a team effort- hammering home that Varian is able to rely on his support network. Feel free to make separate threads, team up with other players, thread hop, etc. Do what you like, and we can wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey it so it happened around the same time- to make it easier than players trying to keep to one concurrent thread! Go nuts! As always please hit me up on

teeeff for anything! ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Lance slides down slow and careful from the massive wolf's back and reaches up to pull the bags with him once his feet are on the ground. Then he pats her and she heads over to flop down like a giant guardian wolf near Varian as Lance heads over to him.]

You don't have to thank me, you'd totally do the same for any one of us. [He opens one of the bags and pulls out a box, handing it to Varian. When he opens it, he'll find little fluffy looking bite sized protein cookie snacks.] Last time I turned into a giant monster, it was kind of hard to eat a lot of food after, but these helped. There's also some soup in here you can heat up, and some other stuff that's easy on the stomach.

[He puts the food bag down by Varian's feet and hefts the second bag.] And this… is everything I could find in the archives about Altean Alchemy, and a few other science books, y'know for some "light" reading. Also, some super cool movies in case a miracle happens and you realize how boring all the other stuff is.

[That last part is a joke of course, and a bit of a cover up because he doesn't actually dislike science, gasp. How uncool of him.]

I mean...yeah. Of course.

[He absolutely would. For any of them. He coos softly at the box, heck yes food. They look like nothing Varian has ever eaten before, but s cursory snuff and he finds them perfectly acceptable. He might even be able to eat these without Ruddiger stealing them. (Unlikely, but a guy can dream). ]

That's great. I think I definitely need that. I've mostly been eating soup and whatever Luz throws at me, but something easier to stomach sounds...real good. I don't think I could stomach a big meal at all, you've got that right.

[The joys of sharing giant monster experiences. Oh but this is a much more interesting gift and he perks up instantly.]

Oh wow, really? [He peers into the bag- his precioussssssss. ] This is amazing, thank you! And you know that's deeply unlikely- if I ever say science is boring please assume I've been cloned or something. [He smirks a little though, he sees the joke, Lance, he does. ] Buuuut I do need to expand my pop culture knowledge, so-

[Lance smiles lightly and lifts a hand to stroke the fur on Edelya's head where she lays nearby all regal and intimidating.]

Well, Hunk is the best cook in the universe and he helped me make most of that, so be ready to have your mind blown. [He goes to sit next to Varian with a bit of a catlike grin and laughs lightly.] If you were a clone it would be so easy to figure out. But I think you'll totally lose your mind over them. I was turned Altean like a year ago, and I actually kind of remember some of the basic stuff, like how quintessence is molded through a conductive alloy and a Balmeran crystal at the right frequency to make portals and junk. Cool stuff, I gotta admit. Astrophysics and Quantum Mechanics are the other books. Had to study those at school, ugh.

[He leans back and makes a dismissive wave with his hand.] Let me tell you, I'd totally teach a class in pop culture before I taught thermodynamics.

[All this talk is aimed at just letting Varian feel comfortable, like he's not suddenly gonna be treated different and like glass because he went through all the stuff he did and lost himself. Eventually, Lance wants to work his way around to at least letting him know he can talk about it if he needs to, but for now… just gonna shoot the shit.]

Edited 2022-01-25 05:55 (UTC)

[Such a good and intimidating pupper. Ruddiger definitely appears seemingly from nowhere (Omen trick or basic raccoon skills, it's hard to tell) snuffling at the box, trying to judge if it's worth eating or not. ]

Oh wow, I think I'm well prepared then.

[Ruddiger's just gonna...clamber onto Lance's shoulder to get a higher vantage point to peer down at the delicious food. Varian blinks, raising his eyebrows. ]

...Like...did that happen here or back home? Because...I feel like it could go either way with you from what I've heard of your world. [Anywhere where giant robot space lions that form into a BIGGER robot
really means all bets are off. ]

You did? Wow! I would have loved to have been able to study those!! They would have been fascinating!! Though...I guess I can see why you'd rather the pop culture thing. You don't come across as someone who can sit still for a lecture for too long.

[He means that in the nicest possible way, of course. A gentle dig. Because this is making him feel better, a nice slice of shit-talking. A lot of people have been treating him like he's a fragile thing and it's been stifling. This is a welcome change. ]

[Lance blinks in surprise at the appearance of Ruddiger and squints at him as he sniffs the food bag. But lets it be so long as he doesn't steal anything meant for Varian. But then the raccoon is suddenly clambering onto his shoulders and he jumps a bit, lening to one side to eye him.]

Uh, it happened here. Or well, back in Deerington. [He answers distractedly and then makes gentle shooing motions with his hand in the direction of the raccoon.] Hey, that's not for you. Shoo!

[Whatever Ruddiger decides to do in response to that, he takes his attention off the trash panda to look over at Varian when he talks about his sitting still and snorts in amusement. Hey, it's not exactly wrong.] Oh yeah, I'm a hands on sort of guy, I haaaate sitting in a lecture. Used to drive teachers so crazy that they just thought I was stupid and gave up on me. Once my older sister Veronica figured out what was going on, she took me places in her free time to set up ways to teach stuff that worked for me. Long story short, that's how I got into the top space exploration and science program on the planet. So no way would I make anyone sit in a stuffy room to teach them science. Movies and memes are totally more fun to look at on a projector than a physics problem I could do in my head in five seconds if I'm in the cockpit of a ship. It's way cooler that way, too.

[He raises his hands as he says that last part to mime piloting and grins. Then he looks over to Varian.] And you never struck me as the kind of guy who wants everything spoon fed to him, either. How'd you learn alchemy?

Edited 2022-01-30 08:47 (UTC)

[The trash panda just stares Lance dead in the eye, definitely not planning on going anywhere. Varian heaves out a sigh, leaning over to pluck him off his friend's shoulders, dumping him unceremoniously on the ground.]

Ruddiger, quit it, you'll get some later.

[Ruddiger continues to stare, before chittering grumpily and stomping towards the door of the house- he opens it and lets himself in like it ain't no big thing- slamming the door behind him. Varian acts like this is nothing out of the ordinary, turning his attention back to Lance. ]

That's good, I'm glad. Not everyone can learn from a lecture room. Heck, I sure didn't. Not that...I had the option either way, but still. People learn different ways, I'm glad you had someone around who recognised that and could help you.

[He raises his shoulders in a shrug.]

I kinda...fell into it, I guess. My mom was an alchemist. I don't remember her, she died when I was a baby, but all her stuff was there. So I just...taught myself. [Maybe as a way to get close to a mother he never knew, maybe. He chuckles a little.] Dad hated it. Took him a long time to come around to me doing it.

[Lance eyes Ruddiger as he stomps off and then his brows go up and his mouth opens slightly in 'wtf' as it opens the door like a person and slams it behind him. He points wordlessly to where the raccoon disappeared, raising a brow.]

Does he always do that? [Of course, he realizes that there's weird animal stuff in Varian's world by now. And he's met all sorts of aliens and alien animals, so a raccoon throwing a tantrum like a person isn't that shocking. But still, he's gotta ask because it's not exactly normal either.

Then he nods, smiling slightly in agreement about he was lucky to have someone to help him. But he doesn't say anything more about it since it's hard to talk about his family and all that for too long. Largely, he brought it up as a way to just get conversation going and get around to helping Varian feel at ease opening up.]

That makes sense, you wanted to feel close to her. [It's not unlike someone else he knows with a Galra blade his mom left him. Then he grins slightly, teasingly.] Oh, and what could your Dad have possibly hated about it? Let me guess, it was all the explosions.

Yup, that's a home thing too. He's always been...temperamental.

[That's putting it lightly. His smile fades a little. ]

Mom was off doing...something, I never got all the details, but she was doing an experiment when she- died. I think Dad's always been worried that the same would happen to me, y'know?

[So definitely the explosions. ]

He's okay with it now. Back when I was home last he was even willing to help me with my work which was...nice. [And seen as they're sharing:] Was it your sister that got you want to go into space? I mean, figuring out a different way of learning is one thing, but that's gotta take some passion, right? Can't be an easy thing to achieve.

Well I guess he's not captain of the guard material.

[Eh eh? Not a great joke, but he's here to inject some levity and put him at ease. Then he sobers a bit as he listens to Varian explain more about his family situation. His brows draw together and he nods.]

Yeah, that would make any parent over-protective. I'm sorry you guys went through that, it's not easy. [He has heard similar stories and that's clear in his tone. Then he smiles softly.] But hey, you worked it out! What'd you guys work on together?

[When Varian asks more about him, though, his brows go up. His answer is a bit awkward and closed off, dismissive of the subject.] Oh uh, nah. I wanted to go way before that. Once she showed me how, I took off.

Hah, definitely not. I think Max would have a fit if he ever tried to join it.

[Ruddiger would probably join it JUST to fuck with Max, in all honesty. But at least it gets a little chuckle out of him so mission accomplished!]

It wasn't, it wasn't...easy growing up around that. [And it definitely put a whole bunch of issues in Varian's head that still haunt him to this day- but what are parents for if not giving their kids lifelong complexes?]

I had been trying to figure out how to make a hot water system work for our village for months. Once I became the royal engineer, I had the resources enough to get it functioning for the entire kingdom- we worked on that together. Which was...kinda nice given I nearly blew up our village with my first attempt.

["Nearly".

He frowns a little, catching the shift in mood. ]

...Wanted to get out there and see the stars, huh? Sorry- didn't mean to pry.

[He raises an eyebrow.] Lemme guess, Max is the horse in charge.

[Then he looks sympathetic and glances over to Edelya to reach a hand out and stroke her fur. Something to preoccupy himself, so he gives Varian some privacy with his emotions about his Dad.] I think every family's got its ghosts that get passed on. It's good you and your Dad got to work through all that, not everyone gets that kind of chance.

[His family certainly has them. Traditional Cuban values and unique traumas carried through several generations at this point. Not that he has the mental and emotional tools to identify and discuss them right now. He blinks at the apology and waves a dismissive hand as he turns back to Varian.]

Oh man, don't worry about it. I dunno why I even brought it up, y'know? [He awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck looking to the side, uncomfortable.] Kinda seems like family isn't the easiest subject, anyway. [Considering Varian struggled a bit there on the subject of his Dad and all.] Tell me about how you ended up with a raccoon sidekick.

Well, more like the second in charge, but he has a lot of say in things.

[He hums softly.]

Yeah, I know I really lucked out there. Rough as it was, at least I got...closure. It would have been harder to choose to live here if I hadn't.

[He still would have done it, but it would have been a more difficult decision. But he knows he was lucky, he didn't have to worry about that.]

I guess it's not, but still- I've learned it's important not to let stuff eat at you. That's how you end up corrupted after all. [That's a super important lesson to learn!]

Oh, Ruddiger? He was eating the crops on the farm. I made my sticky traps to find a humane way to stop him. He got into my lab and just decided to stick around.

[Flat look, eyebrow raise.] Does he even talk?

[Then he only nods in response to the closure thing. Going further down that path of conversation would threaten to open up more cans of worms and that's not why he's here.

Then he heaves a breath and offers a slight, sympathetic smile.] I've got a feeling getting corrupted is a bit more complicated than that, but I'm glad you're dealing with stuff that way. It'll totally help.

[And he definitely believes it will help. He's opened up on certain things as much as he can since… certain events. But his corruption has still steadily increased. But that's also not what he's here to talk about.]

Y'know, I've met him just a couple times I think, and that totally doesn't surprise me. Does he pass you important tools when you're doing your science stuff or totally screw it all up?

[A pause and then he circles back to the corruption a bit with a casual, no pressure tone of voice:] So how are you doing?

Edited 2022-02-19 22:56 (UTC)

I mean- we can understand him? Kind of. It's hard to explain.

[Look, he never knew that understanding what animals were saying was a weird thing before he came to Deerington. ]

I mean, that's definitely what made me worse. Stuff eating at me without an outlet. I didn't want to make the people I care about worry about me, so I just...kept stuff inside and that turns out to be a bad idea when you have a lot of stuff happening all at once.

[That said, he knows his mental health isn't the best regardless. It just made the cracks wider until they broke.]

Uh uh, he's a pretty good lab assistant. And he makes a mean hot cocoa.

[Yup. Just hot cocoa made by a raccoon. Nothing weird there. At Lance's question, he sucks in a breath, looking skywards for a moment.]

Better. I think. I'm not all-the-way there yet, but I don't feel like I've got a massive weight on me anymore. Baby steps you know?

[He lets out a breath and just shakes his head at that. It's not that weird when he's met a guy with 12 arms and a dog girl alien who leads a space rebellion, he just likes to poke fun at it. Then he considers all that Varian is saying about not having an outlet. He can relate to not wanting to make people worry, though there's more to it for him.]

…I write songs. It helps sometimes when talking is too hard. [He shrugs uncomfortably, not entirely at ease with admitting that, but seeing it as needed in this moment.] There's more than one way to deal with stuff, maybe try keeping a journal or drawing… I dunno. I guess every little bit helps. [A nod.] Baby steps.

[He raises an eyebrow.] You trust him to make you hot cocoa even when he's in a mood like that?

That's- those are pretty goos suggests, honestly. Fern journals, and it seems to help him. [He hums softly.] I don't know, writing down all the words or saying all the words feels...daunting.

[Despite knowing it's drastically not good for him, he does tend to internalise. It's either all kept inside or he throws it all out there at once. He's not good at finding a happy, healthy medium. ]

I guess I have my alchemy, but I kind of get...perfectionist about it. [He sits back.] I haven't painted in a while. I might give that a try?

[At the hot cocoa comment, he laughs.]

Yeah, even if he's in a bad mood, he'd never do anything to hurt me.

[Lance nods.] Yeah, that's why I write music.

[There's words to music sure, but it's more like the music comes first and then allegory and metaphor and so on and so forth follows. An indirect expression that he wouldn't call words or trying to explain how he feels to someone. It's just for him. So he gets it, and he internalizes like no other as well.]

Painting sounds like it'd be totally up your alley. Good talent to have, too. I can't draw to save my life. [His eyes go wide as he realizes that and he clears his throat glancing away awkwardly.] Uh.. or yours, it seems like.

[Yeah, those drawings of his vision were pretty awful and didn't help at all… but his tone is just an awkward admission of fact, not getting down on it. Though he does feel rotten about it, he's not letting it on. He hopes.]

Weeeell, I wasn't thinking he'd poison you. You're sure he's never left a little raccoon fur in there?

I'd love to hear it sometime. Your music, I mean.

[Because he's going to encourage that, especially if it makes Lance feel even slightly better.]

H-hah, don't worry about it. You're not the only one who uh...had a vision. Orpheus had an entire song about it. None of it really worked, but I appreciate you trying all the same. And at least I didn't die? Though uh. Fern definitely did.

[He shifts, uneasy, trying not to think about it- Fern's death is what finally made him snap and he doesn't want that to happen again. ]

Uh...maybe? I never really noticed?

[Lance flushes slightly then looks around awkward and shifty.] Uh, I don't really play it for other people. But… thanks.

[It must seem like a weird thing coming from a guy who likes to show off. And he's confident in his music, but it's something that's deeply personal, like showing a piece of his soul, and he's become more and more private and closed off about stuff like that.

Then he clears his throat and heaves a shallow breath.] Ah, yeah… I'm sorry you guys went through all that anyway.

[And he's fine leaving it there, knowing what it's like to not want to talk too much about that sort of painful thing. Then he shrugs, smiling slightly.]

Maybe it's time to pay a bit closer attention.

[This IS strange to hear. Lance always comes across to him as someone exceptionally confident, someone who has no problems with being the centre of attention. But...he's known Lance long enough to be aware there are more layers than that to him- hiding underneath the surface of all the crowing. If Lance wants to keep his music private...well, it has to be very important to him. Gently:]

Okay, that's fair.

[He lapses into quiet for a moment, fiddling with his hands. This had been a pretty harsh lesson in taking better care of himself- and how the consequences of not doing so could be...very dire. ]

It's... well, it is what it is. Live and learn.

[Or die and learn. Same difference here, really. He manages a little smile in return.]

Maybe. Though I think if racoon fur was gonna do me in, it would have happened already.

[Lance understands that sort of awkward silence where you fidget and can't figure out what to say and default to something short that doesn't even begin to encapsulate everything you've just been through. And he knows that pushing that can be not great, but at the same time he doesn't want to let the door shut, just… leave it ajar.]

Yeah. If you ever have more you wanna say or just wanna sit and say nothing at all… you know where to find me.

[It was Diluc who introduced the concept of just not talking to him. It was jarring and maybe not new but in that moment he'd been so inundated with people pushing him to explain himself, it was like he was being offered a glass of water after being closed into a tight cell without any for too long.]

Aaand you're just not grossed out at all at the idea you might've been drinking fur?

[That pulls a faint smile out of him as he leans back a little in the seat.]

...Thanks, Lance. I appreciate that. Sometimes I think you just need to...not speak while not being alone at the same time.

[And at least he's accepted that it's not selfish of him to accept help from others. There's still a sliver of guilt over it all, but he's doing better at acknowledging that it's okay. ]

I mean. I've definitely drunk worse?

Yeah, wild to think about, right?

[Talking is usually his go-to, but he rarely ever says something of substance, he just knows that either people want to him to say something or demand answers or he feels compelled to fill a silence. It's been a huge adjustment and he doesn't always remember it's okay to not talk, it's not his natural state.]

…Do I even wanna know?

Edited 2022-03-10 01:07 (UTC)

I guess? There's a lot to be said about enjoying the quiet.

[He sure prefers it most of the time. He throws Lance a wry smirk.]

I think the answer to that question is a solid no.

Who said anything about quiet? I just said you didn't have to say anything, doesn't mean I'm not gonna gab your ear off.

[He joking… but also not at all. Silence is not really comfortable to him, it probably never will be. Just means he doesn't have to say anything deep and important or revealing.]

Right. Well, now I'm curious so thanks for that.

Edited 2022-03-12 21:18 (UTC)

[Open] Keep it locked up, keep it sealed tight

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