deercountry | [Open] Keep it locked up, keep it sealed tight

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[Open] Keep it locked up, keep it sealed tight

Who: Varian and YOU!
What: Varian's final corrupted days, his beasthood turn and the aftermath. See his corruption/monster page HERE!
When: First 2 weeks of Jan- before the event.
Where: Around the city!

Content Warnings: Applicable content warnings go here. Mentions of death, corruption, dissociation.

Hope you've stocked up - Last days of corruption

Anyone who's close to Varian will have noticed his slow corruption growth over the last two months. By the time January rolls around, things have gotten worse instead of better. By now his skin is made of a thick, black rock. This same black rock has turned his teeth into sharp fangs and his nails into claws. two amber horns sprout out from his head, and his elbows and one remaining ankle have spurs of the same stuff- as is the tail he's since gotten, flicking nervously as he paces around- firey red eyes darting around furtively.

He'd largely been keeping himself out of sight, trying to handle this alone, but his hallucinations have driven him onwards. He stares at things seemingly only he can see. If he comes across you, he'll grip your arm tightly (sorry if those claws hurt, he's not even thinking about it). He points at an empty spot of nothing, worry on his face.

"Eugene!" you are definitely not Eugene, but it's clear that's who he's seeing right now. "We- we gotta deal with these rocks before they take over everything! There's...there's got to be a cavern around here somewhere so we can cut them off, right?"

It's a long night - Monsterdom (Gaze and surrounding area)

Regardless of how much or how little help he gets in his final days of corruption, eventually, Fern decides enough is enough and the best way to handle this is to Fistfight God. Which is to say, he goes off to confront The Tower about this and gets himself killed by Never Mind in the process. Varian got there too late, and being the driving reason behind his boyfriend dying again was the final nail in the coffin for him.

The transformation is quick and sharp, and what's left is a a ten-foot rock monster spewing fire everywhere. His leg is still missing in this form, at least, which should help anyone with a quick ID-check. Varian himself rages through the city, slamming against buildings and breathing fire at anyone foolish enough to come close. It's definitely attracting the attention of nearby hunters- so perhaps finding a way to talk him back down before there's another death today would be for the best?

Nothing good is meant to stay - Aftermath

Eventually, Varian lets his friends in, lets them talk him down and the best hood fades. Parts of corruption still cling to him- his skin is still an unhealthy grey colour and his nails aren't quite back to normal yet. He's also sitting in a ball on the floor- partly out of shock and partly because he can't go anywhere without his leg - if someone could fetch him that, that would be awesome.

Or perhaps you come to him in the days that follow. He mostly stays near the Disaster House in Cassandra, as he waits for Fern to come back to life. He can be found inside the house, or sometimes sitting on the front porch, people-watching. Though he's certainly not better yet, day by day the signs of corruption lessen. Any visitors will get a tired smile, he's still a little withdrawn, but he's getting there.

"H-hey, thanks for checking in," nothing has changed how awkward he is at least! "Um...how are you doing?"

Because obviously, you're here for him to check up on you. Obviously.

[[OOC: The monster battle is intended to be open to any CR who want to take part. No ONE character will be responsible for talking him down from monsterdom, it is intended to be a team effort- hammering home that Varian is able to rely on his support network. Feel free to make separate threads, team up with other players, thread hop, etc. Do what you like, and we can wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey it so it happened around the same time- to make it easier than players trying to keep to one concurrent thread! Go nuts! As always please hit me up on

teeeff for anything! ]]

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The shift in Ange's tone- so different than hers usually is - is enough to give him pause. There's a visible falter in his panic as he pulls his arms closer to himself. Does he knows where he is right now? It should be a simple question, but the answer is far from simple.

"I don't-" he hesitates, looking fervently around them- buildings and landscapes are shifting against each other- like there are two layers fighting to be the predominant focus. "I thought I was home but...I- I don't- is this a hallucination by the rocks?"

"No.. It's Trench."

Ange slowly reaches out. Mostly slowly since she's having trouble finding a good spot to put her hand on now those rocks are basically covering all of him - it's not like it's easy to find a comfortable spot.

But she manages to put it on his shoulder after a moment all the same.

"That stuff with the rocks.. It happened a long time ago." Now she's actually kind of glad he told her about that, despite how awful of a moment it had been. It's easier as long as she doesn't think about what followed in that situation, anyway. But it does mean that she can genuinely tell him that at a moment like this, when he's obviouslly so distressed and wrong in appearance. "I'm not entirely sure what's going on right now, but.. I think either this place or your own mind is deceiving you, Varian. It's trying to make you think that you're back in that moment."

Ange slowly breathes out.

"Do you understand that?"

Can he understand that in his current state being the more appropriate question, she thinks.

It's Trench. It makes sense that this is Trench. That all of this isn't real, that it's some figment of his imagination. It makes perfect sense. And yet he can't shake the feeling it might be real. Cass is here and maybe she created them- but if that's the case, then why is he the only one who can see them?

Her touch does seem to ground him, though his expression doesn't clear completely, it becomes a little less glazed, a little less crazed- looking for something else. She's right, he knows she's right. All of that happened so long ago. And it happened at home. Not here. Never here.

"I...I do? I think? I-" his breath catches- he's so confused, so lost. "I don't understand why it's happening. I can't- I can't stop it."

There's a moment where she seems to hesitate, but then Ange figures that telling the truth is probably better than straight up lying right now - especially when she thinks this is a lie she can't fully bluff her way through. Especially since she's in the exact same boat as him here, namely:

"I don't understand why this is happening either."

It is very much the truth. Ange has no idea why any of this is happening to Varian. The hallucinations, the odd physical changes. Especially when it's all to this extent, and when she hasn't seen it happen to anyone else this month.

(It can't even be a monthly thing, right? Varian was already looking off last month, and now it's only gotten worse.)

"Have you already tried seeing someone with healing powers?" Ange isn't sure if curing this would fall under that, but.. well, how else are they supposed to turn Varian back to normal, both in mind and body? She's grasping at straws too here.

The truth is far better than a lie. Pretending would provide comfort for him, but in turn, would feed the delusion. Right now, he doesn't know how to feel about it. He still feels so very lost, like his drowning. Nothing makes sense at all and he needs things to make sense. He's a scientist through and through and he needs to make logic out of the illogical.

"I- I've spoken to Sailor Moon about trying to rest but that was...really early on."

At least, even in the midst of his delusions, he remembers not to out his friend. He doesn't say Usagi. He promised he would never divulge her secret identity and he will keep that until the end of time, madness or not.

"...Maybe I can try again? I don't-" he's scared he'll make HER corruption worse, he's already done that once. "I don't know if it would do anything. But...but maybe?"

".. It might be helpful."

Ange, thankfully, does know that Usagi is Sailor Moon either way. The other girl told her about it. And Ange is also well aware that she has healing powers.. but would those also work on something like this, rather than more traditional wounds? Could Usagi's light return Varian to his original state?

.. she doesn't know. But it's better than nothing, so she tries to sound gently encouraging of the idea.

"I don't think she would want you to be like this either.. you know?"

"Worth a try, anyway."

One day he will get Usagi to give him a list of the people she's opened up to, to save him from twisting himself in knots when he doesn't need to. But for now, he'll take the encouragement with a tired smile.

"No...I definitely know she wouldn't. She'd give me one heck of a lecture if she saw me this bad."

Usually she'd make a little joke here, like teasing that he might deserve a lecture if he let it get this bad, but Ange knows better than to even teasingly imply someone should feel guilty when they're clearly already not in their full and right mind.

So instead she stays quiet, seeming to consider everything for a moment.

"Do you.. maybe want me to take you to her?" Ange doesn't mean to seem patronizing, it's just.. well, he doesn't exactly seem to be doing well. Maybe it's better for him to not wander around by himself, before what overtook him before rises back to that level.

Ange is a goddamn hero- even if she'd likely never encourage him in calling her as such. He nods, wringing his hands a little, trying his best to focus on what his friend is saying to him instead of being swallowed up by the hallucinations trying to drag him back under.

"Do- would you be able to do that?" he looks at her, eyes wide, worried. "I- I would appreciate that a lot. If you could. I don't-"

He chews his lip, looking around them.

"I don't think I could find my way around so easily right now."

"Yeah, of course."

She doesn't even hesitate with her answer. It's not like Ange to abandon someone, let alone when they're in this much trouble. Ange also figured that if Varian was left alone like this, he might just end up falling back into the same illusion all over again.

So she holds out her hand to him.

"Here, just hold onto my hand." Does she think that will be a pleasant experience, considering his rocky form? Not really. But she also figures it won't hurt tons, so she can endure it just fine. "Just focus on that, alright? You don't have to think about anything else."

Ange focuses on keeping her tone even. Calm. If she provides enough of a counterweight to the worry that seems to surround him - despite feeling the worry as well herself, deep down - then she might be able to help him calm down just a tad more too. Or so she hopes, anyway.

He takes her hand, gripping it tightly, trying to fight back the panic in his chest, trying to take some strength from the fact she was here, that she was willing to help him. He looks down at their hands and gives hers a little squeeze- it might be just a tiny bit too tight but at least Varian's got weedy need arms so he can't do that much damage.

"Okay- o-okay, I can do that."

Her tone helps, and he does start to even out his breathing carefully, slowly.

Who knew that someday we'd have to be grateful for Varian's nerd arms.. Today is the day.

Ange waits a moment before walking though. Just to give him a moment to adjust to holding her hand, for one, but even moreso when she hears him starting to breathe a little bit more calmly - or at least attempting to do so.

"You're doing well," she says, softly, trying to reassure him. Hopefully the hallucinations he was having will stay away, as long as he's being relatively calm. While he's trying to keep himself in control.

Ange slowly starts walking, tugging him along through their joined hands.

"Just keep breathing like that, and we'll get there just fine."

Truly, they are blessed with his nerd arms. He nods at her reassurance, trying to focus on the road ahead of them. He can still sense the rocks in his periphery, just waiting for him to glance at them to grow full force into this vision again.

"Th-thanks. I doubt I'd do so well if you weren't here," and he means that- she's an anchor for him right now, he keeps walking with her, trying to steady his breathing. "Uh huh. Trying....trying to focus on that. The breathing."

And not the creaking, cracking sound of growing amber that isn't really there.

"That's okay," Ange just softly replies.

Not like she's sure that it's necessarily something he's worried about, having to be so reliant on other people under these circumstances.. But she can't help but want to try and smooth out absolutely every single wrinkle here. Especially when Ange isn't sure which wrinkle in particular might cause him to backslide.

It's still a walk to Usagi's place, after all. Stuff could happen on the way there, but that's something she's actively trying to prevent right now.

"If I were in your shoes right now, I'd also want someone to be there for me. It sounds pretty scary, especially since it's reminding you of such a crappy part of your past."

It really could be any of them. Varian's psyche has been a bearly-put-together thing for years. Stuck together with glue and duct tape, hoping for the best. It was only a matter of time before it all started to break again. It's frankly a miracle it took this long.

He nods, listening to her speak, trying to focus on her voice instead of everything else. Just one foot in front of the other, breathe, listen to Ange. If he can keep these simple steps going, he might be able to keep himself from crumbling.

"Yeah...hah. I- I'm not having the best time," he could have done without this particular traumatic reminder. "I thought I was done with...with all this."

We're never done with that here, Ange thinks, but thankfully manages to keep herself from saying it. Even if it's the truth, it's not a truth Varian needs right now in the middle of this entire mess.

"It'd be nice if you didn't have to deal with this," Ange instead says.

Which, you know, is also true.

"But even though you are dealing with it.. You're still coping." Maybe not.. entirely anymore, but somewhat coping all the same. "You could just not have recognized me at all in the middle of this, but you did."

He'd appreciate her holding back, were he in his right mind. Because oh boy, does he know it's never really over. Deerington and Trench alike were so very good at finding those old wounds and ripping them open again, bearing them to the world. Usually pouring salt in for good measure.

"...Yeah, it would, but we don't get nice things, huh?"

That's a bitter little laugh from him if ever there was one.

"Hah I...I guess so?" it sounds like a small mercy, but it is one and that's what matters. "I- I'm not sure how long I would have kept it together if I hadn't run into you, though."

"I guess it just means we'll have to keep the credit for this split between the both of us then."

Because she sure isn't going to let it all go to her. Not even under these circumstances - or perhaps especially not under these circumstances, since she does want Varian to feel like he is doing something right here too.

He's the one keeping himself together a bit here, even if it's only barely. If Ange's presence is helping with that, then.. well, she's glad for it, but it still wouldn't be possible without some willpower on his end, she thinks.

"Maybe we'll just have to make sure you're never alone until this is over." Because maybe even Usagi can't heal it at once. But if she can even just relieve it.. that would already help.

"I guess I know better than to argue with you on this one."

Look, he knows when he's got a losing battle, and she is right. He needs a little bit of stability- the knowledge he's not completely gone just yet. That he still has even the tiniest sliver of agency over his own breaking psyche.

"M-maybe? I...I'm scared I'd hurt someone but...but maybe having someone around would make it...stable? Help me see it's- it's not real."

Varian does have a point there. While the other is unstable, it technically is dangerous to be around him. Maybe a little bit less so if it was the usual Varian, but... well, he kind of is made out of rock right now. He might just kill someone by sitting on them if he tried really hard.

But Ange knows what people in this place are like. What the rest of Varian's friends must be like. There's no way they'd let a risk like that make them give up on him.

"That's what I'm thinking," she therefore says, ignoring that risk for the moment. "As long as there's someone around who isn't from the same world as you, it might be able to remind you more easily that you aren't back there, you know? Since it'd clash with your memory."

Varian's always been of the mind that he always has the potential to hurt people. After all, he did a lot of damage back home- he genuinely nearly killed people. But he's been trying to think beyond that, trying not to think of himself as someone unstable and dangerous. But right now, it's hard to follow that thought process.

"Y-yeah maybe that...that'd work. Probably want to avoid my house, Rapunzel is there," and as much as he loves her he knows she might make her spiral. "...Cass would avoid me so there's...that at least."

He has to remind himself Cass isn't the one creating this. Not this time. This isn't her. But going near her might make that a lot harder to believe.

"Well.. That makes things a little more difficult, doesn't it."

Because this clearly isn't something that has been going on with Varian only for the past day or so. He was already looking off all the way back last month, when Ange came over for that music session. If it has been developing since then, then who knows how long it could take to fully go away?

And if Varian couldn't go home all that time, because he'd be around people that might just reinforce the hallucinations..

".. Is there anywhere else you could stay, in case of emergency?" Sure, she could just ask Usagi to keep Varian with her for a while, but Ange feels like Varian deserves to have a say in this too. Especially when he's a bit more like his usual self right now than a few moments before.

"Yeah, just a little. And I don't want her to know she's making things harder for me. That...that would upset her so much."

And Rapunzel's already dealing with so much, he doesn't want to add to that at all. At her question, he stares off into space for a moment, before blinking.

"Yes! Yes, I do have that!" he hesitates. "I mean, it only lasts for twenty-four hours but that might be enough? It's that little pocket dimension I got in November!"

You know, Ange. Just the pocket dimension he has.

Edited 2022-02-04 02:02 (UTC)

Ah.

Yes.

Just the pocket dimension. Of course. Because why not take a pocket dimension into account at this point.

It's an exasperated thought Ange keeps entirely to herself in this moment though. Despite her habit of falling back on deadpan like a comfortable habit, she doesn't think it'd be particularly tactful right now, while Varian is just having such a hard time. She's just got to accept this weird reality for what it is.

"What happens once those twenty-four hours are over?" Let's focus on the practical for now, she thinks. "Does it just.. throw you out? And then you can't go back in?"

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[Open] Keep it locked up, keep it sealed tight

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