Keith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tempredmental) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deercountry2022-01-17 11:11 pm
tempredmental) wrote in deercountry2022-01-17 11:11 pm
January Catch-All
Who: Keith, OPEN
What: January Events and Prompts, Initial Exploring and Learning About Trench
When: During January.
Where: In and around town.
Content Warnings: transformations, shedding skin, mention of parental death/abandonment, bullying, war, violence, being pursued, captivity, being stranded, clones, injuries, amputation, hallucinations, experimentation, genocide... possibly others. Will mention in specific threads and try to update this as things come up.
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sailorgundam06, SailorGundam06#2608.
What: January Events and Prompts, Initial Exploring and Learning About Trench
When: During January.
Where: In and around town.
Content Warnings: transformations, shedding skin, mention of parental death/abandonment, bullying, war, violence, being pursued, captivity, being stranded, clones, injuries, amputation, hallucinations, experimentation, genocide... possibly others. Will mention in specific threads and try to update this as things come up.
- Winter Mournings
- Shedding Ceremony - All are coldblood blessing except the paleblood prompt
- Exploring Trench - Can be combined with any option in the Shedding Prompt, attending Rocky Horror performance here
- Snake Den
- Unsnakely
no subject
I knew something was wrong, but I thought I could just... talk to him... get through whatever hold Haggar had on him and help him break it. Allura said she was responsible for the wormhole, so I figured it had to be her controlling Shiro somehow.
[He'd remembered all of it... Hunk's comments about the arm being Galra-made and connected directly to Shiro's brain... Haggar being Altean and capable of alchemy almost like Allura and what Allura had said her father could do... The druids answered to Haggar and had been the ones to replace Shiro's arm in the first place. All of it had been information Keith had filed away over their time in space.
And, granted, he hadn't exactly been wrong, but he hadn't exactly been right, either.
Below them, the sound of memory Keith's jetpacks kicking in could be heard as he controlled his landing on the platform down there. Real Keith didn't immediately move to go watch, but he knew what was coming. His memory self dodged off the platform, diving down the steps and rolling a few feet along the catwalk as Shiro slammed down from above at full force.
Keith finally drew his Marmora dagger from the back of his belt. As Shiro emerged from the dust created by his crash landing, Keith extended the blade into its sword form. Shiro held up his Galra arm, the glow shifting into an energy blade to match... and then he charged forward again, continuing his relentless attack on Keith. The only expression Shiro showed was either flat or angry.
And, despite present Keith's reluctance to follow, the memory forced them down there anyway, almost glitching like a bad video game... making sure they saw everything...]
no subject
Lance has had to fight friends before, knowing it wasn't them, that something was wrong but you don't know how to break through. He's also been on the other side of that, and there's no way to measure the pain it causes everyone involved. All he can say is that it's equal both ways, just a different kind of suffering.
He looks down as he hears the jet packs activate and watches the fight progress through the facility with a pained helpless sort of energy to his posture. It's a memory, but seeing the two of them embroiled in something so painful triggers some instinct to do… something. It's irrational, he knows. Then he finds the words to reply again.]
…There was no getting through, was there?
[His voice is quiet, reserved as he says it. It's barely a question, more of an observation of the obvious. And then they are glitching closer to the memory and he blinks. It's not the first time this has happened to him, he's done plenty of memory shares, but it's an adjustment every time.]
no subject
I'm not great with words, but... I don't think there was.
[Memory Keith kept getting knocked back, still trying to fight defensively for Shiro's sake. Down some steps, chased along catwalks, as the clone kept coming and coming, never relenting in his assault. Keith attempted a left hook, but Shiro caught his arm and pulled in, then used his own left hand for an uppercut into Keith's chin hard enough to take off Keith's sealed helmet. The impact separated them, and Keith scrambled again, running along the catwalk and using his jetpack in an attempt to keep distance and stay ahead.
Shiro tackled him from behind, launching them both off the latest platform. As they came down, Keith was able to grab on to a cable that was holding some sections of the station together. Shiro's armblade cut through the one he grabbed, sending him swinging and crashing to another platform below.
The memory shifted again as Shiro regained his feet, but then memory Keith had gone on the offensive now. The relentless and almost constant beating had broken through into Keith's base instinct to fight, and he cut his own cable, swinging in to kick Shiro in the chest. They tumbled further down, Keith jumping after him using crates as stepping stones. They reached the edge, Keith trapping Shiro against a railing with his blade pressed firmly against Shiro's. Lance got a perfect view of Keith's face... his eyes having taken on a yellow tint, gritted teeth showing fangs...
Real Keith looked away again, this weird feeling of almost shame coming from him.]
It's like I almost lost myself. I was desperate, and didn't know what else to do.
[The two were grunting and growling with the effort until Shiro spoke up, smirking right in memory Keith's face.]
That's the Keith I remember!
[The phrase seemed to touch something, and Keith was pulled from his berserker mode. He blinked, reverting back to his human appearance and reducing his force on the hold against Shiro's blade just long enough. Shiro spun their connected weapons too fast for Keith to keep hold of his sword, and it went flying off to the side, embedding itself into the floor. Keith ducked a swing from Shiro and ran to grab it.]
I let him get to me.
no subject
The fact that they were fighting alongside what was a clone that whole time and that he'd failed to see what was going on until it was nearly too late still haunts him. And he'd always wondered what it had been like for Keith, how long it took him to realize something was off and how all this went. Clearly, it was heavy, it was terrifying and traumatizing.
He watches with that same pained and helpless tension as memory Keith instinctively starts to fight for his life. But still so reluctant to really do anything that might hurt who he thought was Shiro. Lance isn't surprised when Keith finally fought back and went on the offensive, it's survival instinct and even love struggles to overcome that. He knows that painfully well.
But then he sees the shift of Keith's eyes and fangs, and that does surprise him. He's seen that on Keith before, but only when under the influence of Deerington's magic, he'd truly had no idea it could come out when pushed like this. He picks up on the shame coming from Keith and looks over to him, brows drawn together in concern but his eyes hold a deep understanding. He reaches out and this time goes for a more platonic spot: Keith's shoulder.
He squeezes gently and then looks down and away when he hears him say that. It hit him in his chest in a place he tries not to pay too much mind to. It's something he understands painfully well, that kind of desperation and it digs up enough old pain that a glow starts under his skin, but he squashes it with a couple measured breaths and refocuses on Keith, squeezing his shoulder again.]
Keith… [He's about to try to find more words, when the memory interrupts and he looks up at Shiro's clone as he tries to get in Keith's head. And somehow, that triggers something in memory Keith that Lance doesn't quite know how to read. He's back to himself eases up on his blade and it goes flying. He's still puzzling through what just happened when Keith speaks up again and he looks over to him. His voice is on the hushed side and a little unsteady and rough, but confident in the truth of his words.]
Keith. Anyone in your shoes would've done the same. Struggled the same… of course he got to you. He's your brother.
no subject
I wouldn't have gotten in the Garrison if it wasn't for him. I would have still just been some delinquent failure getting myself in trouble all the time.
[Memory Keith dove into a forward roll to avoid another slash from clone Shiro's blade before pulling the sword free from the metal plating. He turned just in time to take another hit hard against the blade, getting knocked back against some scaffolding. He ducked again as Shiro slashed out, the energy blade slicing right through the metal. Keith spun running further, barely avoiding getting trapped between the frame as it fell between them.]
Shiro... [He was panting hard.] I know you're in there. You made a promise once. You told me you'd never give up on me.
[Shiro stood, and the two made eye contact between the beams of the fallen scaffolding. Shiro's arm was starting to spark with magenta energy.]
And I should have abandoned you, just like your parents did. They saw that you were broken... worthless... I should have seen it, too.
[Memory Keith stood listening, still focused on saving Shiro. But real Keith? He took in a sharp breath, looking down. Even if he knew it wasn't true, it still hurt. But, memory Keith wasn't giving up, yet. He kept trying.]
I'm not leaving here without you. [That seemed to amuse Shiro, and the older man smirked, almost letting out a breathy chuckle.]
Actually... neither of us are leaving.
[Around them, the facility began to tremble, and, above them, behind Keith, a massive energy core that, to this point, had been glowing with normal Galra magenta, began to glow red as it started to overload and spark with energy.]
no subject
He stays silent as he watches Keith and who they all thought was Shiro battle it out and his grip on Keith's shoulder tightens when he hears those words exchanged. He doesn't think he needs to know Keith well at all to think those words would cut deep in anyone. But knowing him definitely makes him recoil instinctively and subconsciously move closer to Keith. The added empathic input of Keith's own reaction driving him to want to take his hand again at the very least, but he doesn't.]
You know that's not true. [He insists in a tight voice that's rough with suppressed emotion.] Shiro would never even come close to thinking that.
[Then the memory ramps up and he feels a cold dread form in the pit of his stomach as Shiro says neither of them are leaving. He looks around at the facility as it trembles, uncomfortably aware of the fact that these memory shares can sometimes… be a little too real. He's encountered ones that were able to harm the viewers of the memory. So naturally, he's even more on edge now.]
That doesn't look good…
no subject
I know. Mom had already told me everything about what happened between her and Dad while we were together in the abyss. It was... We saw things... like this. [Each other's memories...] I know why she left.
[But, even so, real Keith turned to look back at the massive core as it began to overload for a moment, and then back at clone Shiro.]
It's not. I think... somehow, through the arm, he was tapping into the satellite's power source. But, I don't know for sure. [He shook his head. Hunk or Pidge could have figured it out, but... the base was destroyed now, so no point in trying.
Speaking of, Shiro was suddenly startled as the intensity of the glow from his hand increased when the core began to hit critical. The Paladin armor burst off the prosthetic, revealing that the arm was expanding and glowing all the way up to his shoulder, beyond the mid-bicep connection point they all thought it was. Shiro cried out in pain, collapsing to the floor.]
SHIRO! [Memory Keith took one step forward, and then the Shiro's arm blasted a hole through the deck plating like a high powered laser weapon. Real Keith flinched.]
Uh... do these things affect us watching? Because we're gonna wanna move... [He turned towards Lance, his arm coming up to grip the forearm of the hand on his shoulder in order to maneuver Lance away from what was about to become a blast zone.]
no subject
[But there's no time to ask more specifically, since clone Shiro's arm is overloading so intensely all of a sudden. And there's the increasing danger of the situation, making him tense and adjust his stance instinctively. He watches in rapt distress as Shiro doubles over and cries out in pain. Instinctively, he takes a step forward, but stops.
His attention is pulled to memory Keith crying out to him and about to do the same Lance was. But that blast has him flinching a lot harder than Keith considering he was not expecting it.] Holy shit!
[Then he looks over to Keith as he grips at his arm, and nods curtly.] Yeah, better to be safe than sorry.
no subject
Shiro's arm continued to spark and crackle with energy as he straightened himself up. The twisted smirk on his face only widened as he put his hand out, now with claws, and almost pointed towards memory Keith... and then fired another blast, almost like a canon.
Real Keith instinctively pushed Lance back and away, but Shiro was still focused on the memory, running to the edge where memory Keith had jumped off to a section below. Shiro aimed again, firing again... and then again when Keith tried to run. The blasts severed both ends of the lower platform and it tilted, memory Keith scrambling for purchase, something to grab as he slid past pod after pod of clones. He landed hard on a section of metal that was protruding from the now lower severed end, only to have to immediately try to jump for his life when two of the pods had come loose and almost dropped on top of him. The falling rack of pods kept going, falling towards the planet below, taking most of the clones with it.
Memory Keith had been aiming for a disc-like platform, the lowest part of the facility, and the memory glitched again, putting real Keith and Lance on that platform to watch as he struggled to pull himself up, the Marmora blade deactivated in dagger form, embedded in the metal several feet from the edge where Keith had barely managed to grab on.
Real Keith backed up, moving away from his memory self, watching himself try to catch his breath, and then struggle to crawl to his blade. He collapsed for a tic, just long enough for the clone to drop from above with a loud bang. Shiro stood, almost over the dagger like he was wordlessly taunting to Keith to just try to keep fighting. He activated his armblade again, pulling back, moving to strike, but Keith dug deep and managed to grab the blade. There wasn't enough time to activate it, but he caught the magenta energy sword with the dagger, his arms shaking as he held it at bay in front of his face.]
Shiro. Please... [Real Keith wrapped his arms around himself again as memory Keith sounded choked, like he was going to cry.] You're my brother.
I love you.
[It had almost been enough. In fact, it had broken the moment, and Shiro really did pause, but the magenta glow in his eyes was brighter than before, and he pushed down again, leaning in close, almost snarling as he spoke.]
Just... let... go... Keith. You don't have to fight anymore. [Memory Keith turned his head as his arms started to give out, the hot magenta energy blade getting closer to him.] By now, the team's already gone. I saw to it myself!
[Real Keith hunched in tighter, clenching his jaw as he remembered the searing pain his memory self was experiencing in the moment. The actual sound of the heat burning into his skin could be heard for a few seconds until Keith screamed. His eyes and teeth changed again as his Galra side tried to take over, and there was a flash of light between the two Paladins as the black bayard appeared... in Keith's control.
He kept screaming, as if it was the only way he could get himself to move, and pushed hard with the dagger to lift Shiro's arm enough so he had room to swing. And then... he swung.
The black and white sliced through the metal arm mere inches below the shoulder, the shock sending Shiro stumbling backwards before he collapsed to his knees. Slowly, memory Keith stood, the new burn mark across his right cheek very visible, his face showing just how much this whole incident was tearing his heart to pieces.]
K-Keith? [The clone was confused, as if something had been reset. The glow in his eyes was gone. It was like cutting off the arm had broken the connection Haggar had to the clone's brain. But they didn't have long to think about it. The stress of their battle and the overloading core began to tear the base apart. Above them, the core exploded, falling into a support beam, and the cables that held the disk they stood on began to snap. It tilted.]
no subject
When he's pushed out of the way by Keith, he's startled and looks to him in concern, able to tell that it's really starting to eat through to Keith's core if he's reacting like this. He reaches up to place his hand over Keith's where it's made contact with him, putting aside his own issues to be as much of a rock as he can be. And then he lets go not long after, opting instead to hold onto his shoulder again, though this time he stands closer.
And then the memory glitches again and they're on the platform and he kind of wants to puke from all the jumping around. But the moment playing out in front of them, so close and yet so out of their control is so unbelievably intense that he's holding his breath through it. As the Keith beside him curls inward, he thoughtlessly slips his hand from his shoulder to sit firm and gentle just below the nape of his neck, like at any moment he'll pull him close for a protective embrace. But he doesn't.
He keeps his eyes trained on the memory as Keith says those words that he knows very well are not at all easy for him, and then his hand on Keiths back spasms in surprise when he sees that's how he's burned. Though it's shocking to watch it play out like that, he'd suspected it hadn't come from a pleasant situation either. The fact that it came from Shiro? Or rather, someone with Shiro's face… that's a tough thing to swallow.]
I never even though it was… y'know, something like that. [He admits softly, and he can sense through his empathic ability how charged this whole moment is as memory Keith severs the connection. It's threatening to overwhelm his senses and he grits his teeth, trembling slightly and stepping closer to Keith to try to ground him better.
Then the platform starts to tilt and he stumbles and instinctively, pulls Keith closer to himself to steady them both.] Oh, shit. Keith, what's happening??
no subject
[And honestly? He was kind of glad no one had asked... about the burn, the arm... the team had let Keith and Shiro decide if and when to share that, and it had worked for a while. But he'd kept a lot of this battle to himself. The only other person who knew was Shiro... and, even then, the Shiro currently in Trench didn't know, either. It was kind of Keith's cross to bear alone... until now.
Still, feeling Lance trying the way he was, the hand on him the whole time, somewhere... he didn't know everything about what had happened between them in the nightmare town, but he knew Lance had trouble with being close to him. The fact that he was pushing through that right now to be supportive meant A Lot.
But the memory kept progressing, not waiting for them at all, and as the disk tilted, Keith momentarily panicked. Were they really going to fall, too? Forced to uncross his arms for balance, he grabbed at Lance in return.]
The whole place is coming apart. [Keith looked frantic for a second as he tried to find something where they could grab on. Without thinking, he finally just took hold of Lance's forearm and pulled him along as he ran to find a handhold.
Memory Keith was doing the same thing. Shiro had collapsed unconscious, leaving Keith as the only one to prevent them both from falling. The bayard disappeared into his armor's storage, and he shifted the sword into its dagger form as he grabbed Shiro's remaining arm with his free hand.]
Hang on! [Real Keith grabbed on to one of the remaining cables just as the platform swung down. Below him and Lance, memory Keith had embedded the dagger into the metal and was dangling, holding the dagger's handle in one hand, and Shiro's forearm in the other. The clone was out cold at this point, completely dead weight dangling off the end of Keith's arm. Keith tried to pull them up, though where he thought he was going, who knew at this point. It was almost automatic to try, but the shift in weight caused the metal to give way to the dagger's edge and they slid further towards the edge of the platform, stopping just in time.]
no subject
And likewise, nobody has asked, which he appreciates as well. It was never a thing he thought was polite to ask about even back when he first saw Keith's cheek, or even further back when they found Shiro and pulled him out of that Garrison facility. Scars tell a story, he's understood that for a long time, and everyone's story is their own to tell how much or how little of that they want.
Then they're clinging to each other and considering the situation, there's no way his brain has time to have a crisis over that. Honestly, he supposes dying this way wouldn't be the worst way he's bit it, but he's more concerned about preventing Keith from suffering that so soon after getting here.]
No kidding! [Yes, he can see that the place is falling apart, Keith. That's not what he was asking about.
This is Keith's memory, so he follows Keith's lead, not fighting at all when he pulls him along to find something to grab. Out of the corner of his eye he notices memory Keith struggling with Shiro's dead weight and then the Keith pulling him has grabbed a cable. Hastily, he does as he's told and hangs on to the most solid thing he can, which happens to be Keith's waist as the platform gives beneath their feet. He looks down now that they are hanging to see memory Keith dangling by the dagger and holding Shiro's dead weight.]
That… really doesn't look good.
[And then he realizes that he's hanging on to Keith and not only is that too close for comfort for him right now, he's adding his weight to what Keith has to hold up. He looks up to try and find a piece of the cable that he can grab onto instead.]
no subject
He didn't know...
He grit his teeth, clinging tightly to the cable above him. Once he felt both Lance's arms wrapped around his waist, without another thought of what it might feel like, he wrapped his legs up and around Lance's chest so he could use both arms to hold the cable.]
Nope. Not good. [Keith's response was curt and short as he struggled with both of their weight for a moment, but he felt Lance shifting, looking for something to hold on to himself so Keith didn't have to hold everything, so he moved, pulling on the cable to try getting Lance closer so he could grab on.
It felt like the memory was stuck in suspension, but they'd just hung there for a while. There was still debris coming down from above, falling around them, threatening to knock everyone loose. And the energy core above continued to glow brighter and more dangerously...
They didn't have long...]
no subject
He scrambles up at the first opportunity he sees to grab the cable that Keith frees up and then pulls himself up with a wheezing grunt. His injuries are still not healed, but he's gotten quite good at pushing through the pain and forcing his breathing to sound more normal. With all the crashing and creaking of the facility around them, it further hides anything odd coming from him, for now.
Now they are more level with each other, it's an improvement, but keith's face is much closer… so he pulls himself slightly higher. Keep it together, Lance. Keep it the fuck together. It hurts like hell being near him and the voices in his head are laughing and crying over him all at once. He closes his eyes for a moment to count backwards from five and then makes himself focus in on the memory. That's what's important right now, and he swallows a thick lump in his throat as he watches memory Keith and Shiro's clone dangle like that.
It looks… pretty dire and hopeless, and he finds himself holding his breath and unsure of what to say. It feels like saying anything will break whatever spell is keeping them hanging.]
no subject
That said, he wasn't even watching Lance at this point, his attention fixated on the two figures below, clinging for life.]
I have no idea how this next part is going to affect us hanging here...
[He took a second to look up at the core again with a worried expression, trying to remember just how long he had hung there with Shiro dangling below him like that, but his perception of time hadn't exactly been accurate in the moment. It had felt like ages before everything exploded around them, dropping them into a freefall from the upper atmosphere.
And, as he was thinking it, it happened. The cables they were holding shook for a mere second at most before going slack, dropping the two observers much in the same way the two participants below were thrown free when the disk rotated enough that Keith's dagger slipped from it's cut into the metal. And while there was a momentary panic from the real Keith next to him, Lance would feel the same from the memory before a sense of acceptance from memory Keith... that he had tried, and tried his hardest, but he'd failed, and this was it.
He'd tried to save Shiro, the man he called 'brother', and he had failed. And now, they were both going to die. Keith had risked his life dozens of times through Voltron to save Shiro. This was the one that came up short.
The whole time they'd been hanging there, up to, and then after, the explosion, like some sort of movie plot, Lance would sense flashes of the memories that Keith had thought back to in the moment... meeting Shiro at school, racing through the desert on the speeders... but the one that came after the explosion as they fell was Keith sitting outside an administrator's office with Griffin after the fight...
That last one lingered, and Lance would hear a woman in command ripping into Shiro about how Keith was only there because Shiro had vouched for him, and Shiro needed to make sure it didn't happen again.]
I understand. I'll handle it.
[That was all Shiro said before stepping out, only moving aside long enough for Griffin to enter the office next. Keith remained seated with his beat up hands clenched tightly into fists on his lap, not even looking up to meet Griffin's bruised glare as he passed or Shiro's disappointed look.]
Hey- [Teen Keith interrupted Shiro.]
Look, I know I messed up. You should just send me back to the home already. This place isn't for me. [Shiro looked upset by Keith's words, but pushed through.]
Keith. I will never give up on you. But, more importantly, you can't give up on yourself.
[Fourteen-year-old Keith finally did look up, a shocked and almost scared look on his young and very bruised face. Why was Shiro so determined to stick up for him? The snippet of extra memory faded, and a sense of determination washed over current memory Keith as they continued to fall into the atmosphere below the collapsing satellite. And then, everything went black...
Keith and Lance were alone, almost floating. Lance would hear Keith breathing for a moment as if he was waiting to see if things would continue, if Lance would see the conversation he had with Shiro in the Lion's consciousness, or if things would just jump forward to him waking up in Black's mouth, having just been scooped from the sky before they could perish... or, if that was going to be the end of it and they'd be escorted by a deer out... or even something else at this point. Keith wasn't sure.]
no subject
And then the cable gives out and his heart leaps in his throat. His first instinct is to grab onto Keith's arm and as they twist in mid fall, his arms come around his middle from behind and shields him from where he thinks the blast and its debris will come from in this disoriented falling state. And through his own panic, he does feel that acceptance, that feeling very familiar to him from is own experiences, it's enough to have him hitching a sharp breath in his chest.
And then the memory shifts, somehow they are still in a suspended state as a memory within a memory plays around them. This… is new to him. But a flashback isn't unheard of or out of the ordinary when he thinks about it, but he hardly spares more than a millisecond of thought on it because what's happening in front of them has most of his attention. He's quiet as he watches a younger Keith interact with a younger Shiro, reminded of himself and his sister Veronica in a way.
Man, it really hurts to think about that and he finds himself tightening his hold on Keith, practically hugging him as Keith's feelings and his own feelings overlap and the need to just hold is overwhelming. And then the blackness comes and they're landing on a surface. Not hard, but just enough to have them struggling to find their feet and orient, and Lance finds himself half on top of Keith.]
Oww, the hell?
[After a pause to realize his position, he shoves himself up onto his heels with a grunt and a frustrated clench of his teeth. Then he busies his senses and mind from all that just happened with looking around…]
…Where are we?
no subject
[It was Shiro's voice. Keith sighed softly, pushing himself up into a sitting position slower than Lance had. He was tired from what this memory was putting him through. He hadn't even really reacted to Lance having been holding him. His voice was quiet as he responded to the question.]
We're inside the Black Lion's consciousness.
[Shiro called Keith's name a few more times before the purple-tinted starscape came into focus. In the distance, memory Keith looked around in confusion and panic.]
Where are you, Shiro? [He called the bayard into his hand, activating the blade.] Show yourself! [He was still visibly on edge after the fight, not sure if he could trust Shiro not to attack him again.]
I know this must be confusing for you. [Shiro's voice seemed to echo from all around at first.]
What is this place? Where are we? [Memory Keith's voice was demanding, scared, and panicked.] You- You were trying to kill me. The others... you said you-
[A glow began to form several yards behind memory Keith, and it was like he felt it as he cut himself off from speaking before turning around. Shiro materialized, but he looked like he had before... his arm, his hair, like he'd never disappeared from that battle from Zarkon. But he glowed, like he was only there in spirit.]
I'm not going to harm you. [Shiro spoke calmly, using that tone he always used when trying to keep one of the others settled. He was trying to get Keith to settle.] Everyone is fine. Just let me explain. The thing that attacked you wasn't me. Since my fight with Zarkon, I've been here.
When you disappeared? [Memory Keith was still visibly on edge, but he was listening. Shiro had his attention.]
Yes. I didn't know where I was, or how much time had passed. My physical form was gone. I existed on another realm. I died, Keith.
[While memory Keith stood there in shock, real Keith, still next to Lance and still on the 'floor', had hunched over, not watching anymore, and definitely trying not to listen.]
no subject
Stricken because he can feel the emotion of the moment heavily and nows how intense and terrifying it was for Keith. And also because deep down he can't help but recall how Shiro had tried so hard to reach him this same way when they were resonating as Voltron. When Keith had brought Shiro's clone's body back and Allura saved his life, Lance had gathered the basics, put together that he'd failed to hear Shiro where Keith had succeeded… but to be faced with just how stark a contrast their experiences were…
That's a gut punch that has his stomach roiling. But he swallows it down, it's not what's important right now, it's in the past and he can't change it, like so many things…
And on some level he had gathered that Shiro had died before. But it was never said explicitly out loud, some part of him had sequestered that away somewhere else to not have to deal with it. Now that it's said out loud, his breath hitches with an even stronger blow to his chest. Instinctively, he reaches for Keith again, his knuckles brushing his elbow and forearm, but then he pulls his hand back, self-conscious.]
That… that must've been…
[What even is the right word for what it felt like? Even as an empath currently feeling it like it was his own emotion, he can't place a word to it.]
no subject
The Black Lion somehow retained my essence.
Is-... Is that where we are? In the Black Lion's consciousness? [Keith's voice was hesitant as he asked. Shiro continued, silently confirming Keith's question.]
I tried to warn the others about the imposter while on Olkarion, but our connection was not strong enough... [Shiro slowly began to fade, his voice dissolving into an echo as he disappeared. Memory Keith began to panic.]
Shiro? [He couldn't lose him now... not after all this!] Shiro!
[This time, everything faded to white. After a moment, they were in the mouth of the Black Lion. With a pained grunt, memory Keith slowly regained consciousness. Trying to get his bearings, he winced, forcing himself to roll over on to his stomach and push himself up so he could look around. He looked up, recognizing the mouth canon.]
You saved us... [A soft sigh interrupted him, and memory Keith turned, back on alert as he remembered Shiro- no... the clone. He watched him for a moment, waiting to see what would happen, but the clone didn't wake. Present Keith took a breath, watching once again now as his memory self gingerly checked the clone, determined that he was still alive, and moved him into the cockpit with him.
The Lion had warnings all over the main screen. Keith took the chair, pushing against his pain, his emotions, and quickly took stock of the situation. Black's left wing thruster was heavily damaged. The signal from Lotor's Sincline ships was on the screen and showed he had a severe headstart on Keith as far as getting back to Daibazaal and the transreality gate, where the Castle and the others still were. It was bad. Keith hit the comm button.]
Hailing the Castle of Lions. This is Keith.
[On the screen, Lance would see himself and Allura. Keith filled them in quickly on the situation, but this Lance already knew. Shiro was a clone. Lotor was en route. Allura knew what Lotor was after, and Keith was far away. Keith was asking them to do the impossible and hold Lotor off until he could get there, but he didn't have access to a wormhole. Deep down, Keith knew it was going to be the hardest thing they'd done so far, but he also had faith in the team. If anyone could figure out a way to pull it off, they could. They closed the call.]
Shiro, if you're here, I could use your help. I need to get to the team before Lotor.
[The Lion pushed another burst of speed as much as it could, drawing on the bond with Keith to get it.
Present Keith was paying attention again, knowing the memory would glitch and force them to follow anyway. He'd followed his past self through the steps and into the cockpit. He watched himself put the Lion on autopilot, setting a course for the Castle, and then gently place the unconscious clone into the Lion's speeder. He didn't know what they could do, but he had to wonder if there wasn't someway to save Shiro's spirit from inside the Lion. The clone's body was weak, and Keith wasn't sure if he'd make it anyway. But, maybe... something could be done.
Real Keith took a breath.]
I wasn't sure if saving Shiro was even possible at this point, but I knew I had to make sure we had the option if it was. Maybe... it wasn't fair... I don't know. Maybe we could have saved the clone, too. [He shook his head.] I just... I didn't know what else to do. But, I knew that, when I got to you guys, I wasn't going to have time to land in the Castle and drop him off. So, I made sure I had a way to get him to Coran. The speeders are spaceworthy, so I decided to use it like an escape pod. I planned to launch it towards the Castle once I got there, hoping Coran would be able to catch it.
[It all sounded like such a long shot now, and Keith remembered feeling almost desperate to hold on to everything and not lose anyone... Shiro, the rest of the Team, Romelle, his mom, Kosmo... even Kaltenecker and the mice... everyone.]
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But it's confirmation that he failed Shiro back then like he always thought and he's certain the reason the connection wasn't strong enough was because of him. And even without Shiro's attempted warning, there were so many signs, he knew something was wrong… and he did nothing because he didn't believe he could or that it was really so bad. But it was bad, it was devastating, even.
Still, he compartmentalizes that baggage, like he always has and returns his now even more guarded attention to Keith and how he's handling this. Silently, he follows him through the memory, watches as they return to the insides of the Black Lion and Keith desperately tries to reach them, and then places Shiro's clone body in the speeder. None of these things surprise him, it's all what Keith would do in such a situation like this, what any of them would eventually get up and do after they put aside the grief and realized they needed to act to save their team.
But he's a little surprised when Keith opens up about it. Not completely surprised because after he came back from those two years with his mom and resumed leading Voltron, he did grow into someone a bit more open. Deerington changed that, though. In terrible ways. So… Lance is unused to it, and even with it being so long since he's seen all these sides of Keith, it's more than he expected to hear from him. So he doesn't interrupt at all.
Lance is quiet for a moment, taking in the words, and the emotions that come with them through his empathic ability. And he says what his gut tells him is not only true but what Keith really needs and maybe wants to hear.]
…You did the right thing. [Though his voice remains guarded and rough, he consciously injects as much gentleness as he can and looks down at the ground.] It's what a great leader would've done.
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Maybe. I mean... I went after Shiro and left you guys alone and unable to form Voltron. I put it all in jeopardy for one person. And, yeah... I know that, back home, Shiro's grateful I did it, but I don't think he really would have wanted me to save him at the potential expense of the rest of the team.
[And it wasn't the first time Keith had put the team in jeopardy, either, because he made some rash decision on the fly like that. The regret for leaving them was heavy between both memory Keith and present Keith. Especially as memory Keith had fallen silent, trying hard to get back, but knowing it might be impossible.
Especially once the battle started between the Lions and the Sincline ships.
Keith had left the comms open. He was listening the whole time as they fought. The Castle was heavily damaged and drifting. Everyone was taking bad hits. Memory Keith had leaned forward, urging the Lion to go faster, knowing that it might not be able to with the damaged wing thruster. On the screens, space streaked by. Memory Keith began to plead quietly...]
Shiro, I have to get to the Paladins. I need your help. [His grip on the controls tightened with a creak.] Shiro. Shiro. SHIRO!
[The last was a yell of desperation. But, it had been strong enough to pull Keith back into the Lion's consciousness to connect with Shiro again. There was a moment as Keith was in shock that it had even worked. But, it had. And Shiro placed his hand on Keith's shoulder.]
Keith. You can get to them, but you must see them first. [Keith looked worried.]
But, how?
[Shiro looked out into the distance of the vast spacescape before them.]
See through the Lion's eyes. Patience yields focus. [A golden glow started to form, and there was a burst of energy through the cockpit before everything around them turned to streaks of light. There was a flash of the battle before them... the Sincline mech striking Blue.]
I see them. [Keith leaned into it, struggling to push Black to the next level. It wasn't easy, and his arms shook as he tried, but more flashes of the others... Lance, Pidge... an ultraviolet glow began to form around Keith's hands on the controls... Allura, Hunk... and Keith let out a yell, activating the Black Lion's ethereal wings and max speed. It was the same teleport power that Shiro had found, but, for such a long distance, it was more like activating his own mini-wormhole. It still took a few moments, but then, Lotor's mech was in his sights. Without slowing down, Keith locked on. With the power still activated, he went through Lotor's machine in the same way Shiro had gone through Zarkon's, leaving it sparking and damaged as he pulled back around to join the others.
The wings glowed for a moment before fading back to normal. Lance would hear himself ask how Keith had gotten there so fast.]
I had some help. Now, hurry. We don't have much time. On me! Form Voltron!
[But from here, Lance knew the rest, and the memory slowly faded from them completely as the Lions dove into formation to begin the transformation sequence...]
And, yeah... I made it back. So, none of it really matters now, I guess. But there was a lot happening, and... [He took a breath, letting it out slowly.] I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you guys like that.
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He opts to watch the rest of this memory play out before saying anything about it. One, because it just feels more respectful not to talk over memory Keith, and two, because he needs a second to get enough of a grip on his shit and his thoughts to figure out the right words.
It's interesting seeing it from this side, hearing himself and the rest of the team over the comms, desperate, and the effect it was having on Keith. The helpless feeling is so strong, he almost chokes on it, and he supposes thats how Keith must have felt too because he was crying out for help from a man he knew was dead. Sure, Shiro was in the black lion, but Lance was having trouble seeing what he can actually do from there… but then the setting shifts again and they're back to observing in the Black Lion's consciousness…
And he can't help but feel both relieved and a bit torn deep down, that part of him that still hurts over not being able to reach out in the same way. And it's definitely deeply and intimately revealing of just how much Shiro meant to Keith, not that all the memories that lead up to now didn't show that, but… there was power in that moment. And Lance suddenly feels rather small and silly for ever being jealous of a connection he clearly could never match.
They're not in a position to see the burst of the wings on the Black Lion, but he knows what they look like and instinctively knows this is the moment they appeared. And then he's up to speed and the memory is fading out. They're in a dark space, it looks like night time, but the exact location is indistinct so far. he spots one of Cynthia's flowers in the distance, indicating where to go next… but he ignores it for now.]
Keith… that wasn't like when you were busy with the blades, or when you left before. [He lets out a shuddered breath and makes himself reach out to touch Keith's shoulder. It's hard to talk about this because the general subject of Keith leaving still hurts like hell and he has to swallow down the glow that wants to burst forth from his body.]
Don't forget, we made the decision to send you into that wormhole after Shiro together, as a team. You were right, if we didn't go after him we'd have lost him forever, and being a good leader doesn't always mean following only what makes the most sense and what's logical and all that strategy junk… there's heart to it too. And paladins of Voltron don't leave anyone behind.
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Keith had known it in the moment, and, despite their shock at the suggestion, the others had known it, too.]
I guess that was the main reason I didn't fully fit in with the Blades... [Keith just wasn't able to leave a teammate behind or in trouble. Despite his best efforts to keep his distance, he always ended up caring too much.
He rubbed at his face, and took a deep breath. Well... now Lance knew all the details... things he hadn't told the others, things he had left out or only partially revealed.]
I um... [He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what else to say.]
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Yeah… well at least the uniform worked for you.
[Jesus Lance, did you just admit Keith looked hot in his Blade uniform in front of Keith? For once, he's super glad Keith is extremely clueless and dense. Then he lets out a breath, taking pity on Keith and himself both and gesturing over to the flower as he starts to walk towards it.]
This way. [Another silence passes and he crosses his arms lightly, hunching his shoulders as he thinks, and then adds without looking at Keith:] I'm… sorry you went through all that alone, though.
[Fighting for his life and for Shiro's life and having to face that he was dead and continue to fight despite it. It looked and felt harrowing and… lonely. Even if they couldn't actually be there for so many reasons, he feels like they really should have been.]
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It worked similar to the Paladin armor. Why wouldn't it have worked?
[Because that was totally about the tech in the armor, right?
He nodded, and then quietly followed Lance, crossing his arms as well. He looked up at Lance for a moment, and then shrugged a little.]
Like you said, it had to be done. There was no other way.
[He gave Lance a very weak smile.]
So... is this the way out or something?
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