february & march open log

[retsuden]

Who: Sasuke Uchiha and whomever wants to deal with this asshole
What: Open log for February and March, involving Sasuke going from low to mid level corruption levels. Event top-levels will be put in later.
When: Throughout Feb & March, individual prompts will have date ranges
Where: Throughout Trench

Content Warnings: Sasuke's usual content warnings, with particular emphasis on his PTSD and depressive tendencies. Bleeding eyes will occur in mid-level corruption stages (it won't be very gory, more like crying blood) and hallucinations/memory shares are an option with his powers going out of whack. Individual threads will be marked with anything super specific.

NOTE: Anyone who ends up experiencing Sasuke's memories will see them completely from Sasuke's point of view. They'll experience everything he saw and felt, both physically and emotionally, as though they were going through it themselves, and they can't get out of it until his genjutsu is released.

This is the same for Sasuke if he experiences their memories instead; so if you choose to reply to option C-III, please just give me a description or a video of the memories so that I know what he experienced. Thanks!

---

[ A. NO TO EARLY LOW CORRUPTION ]

( I. NONE - THE BOARDWALK (FEBRUARY ONLY) )

[ Even though Sasuke has a house now, he still finds himself frequenting going down towards the boardwalk and the shoreline, particularly early on in the month when the newcomers often arrive. There's a part of him that keeps hoping to see a familiar head of blond spikes with a loud mouth to go with it, but he's never thought his luck to be that high. He's not expecting it to be any higher this month and so far, nothing is proving him wrong.

He's gotten a few buns the times he's been down here, but because he's saved them for later and reheated them, he's not aware anything happens at first. Someone who manages to catch him as he eats a fresh taro bun would be lucky enough to meet a Sasuke who is a little more prone to understanding how the other is feeling. The moment he's finished chewing, he finds himself drawn to whoever is closest that may seem to be in need of comfort. While he doesn't reach out to touch them, he does offer the extra bun that he has in his hand. Food always helps, right?

But the red bean bun is the one that he wishes he hadn't eaten the most. He can handle feeling the emotions of others and doing what he can to help, that fits in to his need for redemption, but hearing others thoughts? That's enough to drive him a little nuts. Sasuke cringes as he hears a particularly loud or annoying thought, rubbing at his temples a second later, and blurting out: ] Can't you think a little quieter? Or at least farther away?

( II. EARLY LOW - THE GATE - CW: FIGHTING, MILD SELF-HARM BEHAVIORS )

[ Some of the people who have met Sasuke over the course of January met one that was far warmer and friendlier, but even those who know he's anything but might be surprised by the swift change in his personality. He'd at least tried to continue to be a gentle person in the first week of the month, but as time goes on, his mood is souring quickly.

And there's a need to fight, to train, to take out his anger on something, even if he's been opposed to fighting the monsters in the Gate for some time. He feels for a sense of chakra, a humanness about each monster he goes up against, and he often refuses to deal a killing blow before walking away, but it still doesn't feel ... right.

So now he's waiting before the fight, glancing at the people who come and go, watching some of them fight as well, or maybe just sizing them up. Eventually, if you catch his interest, he even approaches. ]

Sparring is better training than fighting a chained up beast. Up for a real fight?

[ Or maybe instead, you catch him as he's coming out of one fight too many, clearly exhausted, his chakra supplies low and his fist bleeding from too much use. He looks like he could drop on his feet, and if someone tries to stop him from going back in, he's quick to pull back or even physically shove them away. ]

Find someone else to fret over. I don't need it.

[ B. LOW TO EARLY MID CORRUPTION ]

( I. LOW - FARTHER SHORES )

[ In his foul mood, the cold has been getting to him even more. He's come down to the Farther Shores mostly to keep away from the people he knows here, but also because the warmth of the sand is a welcome change. He'll dig through it, sometimes finding small trinkets that look familiar — usually it's just a kunai here and there, or something with the symbol of the leaf village carved into it. At one point, he finds an object with the Uchiha crest on it and it makes him stop and stare for far too long. Anyone who could read emotions would easily be able to tell that his were riding fairly high in that moment.

If he notices someone staring, he's quick to shove it into his bag without a word. If they approach, especially if it's someone he recognizes, he lets out a sigh. ]

Don't you have something better to do?

( II. EARLY MID - THE ROCKS )

[ When Sasuke feels that underlying anger ready to burst from the seems, he's quick to retreat even further. He needs to be somewhere no one will find him, he thinks, and he's noticed that the Rocks are often void of human interaction. He can see why, now that he's getting a closer look, but it's better to be here than it is to be out there where he can hurt people. And he's pretty sure he's going to really hurt them if he's not careful.

Even in his anger, if he sees someone else out on the rocks, someone who slips on their footing or can't quite get themselves up a ledge and looks like they're in danger, he's quick to dart out, grabbing their arm to try and steady them. ]

You shouldn't be out here. It's dangerous.

[ Or maybe it's someone who manages to find his cave that he's hidden himself in in the side of the rock wall. It's freezing, but there's some respite from the wind at least in here. He should be welcoming, let whoever it is get a break from the cold, but whether he recognizes their face or not, all he sounds is angry and tired from the intrusion. ]

Get out. This space is occupied.

[ C. MID-HIGH CORRUPTION ]

( I. SASUKE'S MEMORIES: THE UCHIHA CLAN - CW: ARMY INJURY, BLEEDING EYES, PARENT DEATH, VIOLENT MASSACRE, PTSD, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE, MENTAL TORTURE )

[ Sasuke's only eight in the memory that takes shape. It's easy to feel disoriented when you first come to in a body not your own, but this particular memory gives little time for adjustment. In front of Sasuke are three people; two dead and bleeding, and one standing over them with a bloodied sword in his hand. There's confusion, anger, and most of all, pain coursing through Sasuke as he takes in the sight.

And it's then that it's clear who they are. His mother and father are dead in front of him. Sasuke can't comprehend it. He shakes his head, not wanting to believe it. ]

I don't... I don't understand... What have you done, brother?

Foolish little brother... [ He closes his eyes and Sasuke feels a dread fill him at what's to come. When Itachi's eyes reopen, Sasuke sees it: the Mangeyoku Sharingan. The kekkei genkai that one could only get from killing their closest friend. Before he knows what's happening, Sasuke is caught an a strong illusion:

The sky turns red, the moon full. Sasuke is caught in the streets of the home of the Uchiha. He sees his brother running through them, slaughtering his family as he goes. He uses his sword, kunai, shuriken, anything he can. There's blood everywhere, spraying on the ground, on the walls, on Sasuke himself. He sees his aunt and uncle who greeted him every day to give him a treat when he got home from school and watches as Itachi slices them in half. He sees his mother and father kneeling in front of Itachi, before he raises his sword and slices into them seemingly without a care.

All the while, Sasuke can feel himself screaming. He's begging him to stop, begging him to tell him why this is happening, but it feels like an out of body experience. His mind feels like it's breaking into a million pieces as he's forced to watch the entire massacre of his family unfold. When the illusion ends, Sasuke is clutching his head as he falls to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

The memory jumps and he's still on the floor, but suddenly there's that rage filling him. A hatred he's never experienced in his life. He pulls himself to his feet and charges at Itachi, screaming with the intent to truly hurt him. Kill him, maybe. But he's only a child, not even truly started at the Ninja Academy, and Itachi has been a jonin since he was 10. He feels his fist connect with his ribs and the wind knocks out of him as his bones creak in protest. He should fight, still try for revenge, but his limbs are shaking as he cries out and races from the room. ]

I'm scared... I'm scared, please... I don't want to die!

[ The memory jumps again and Itachi is standing in front of him on the streets, the bodies of their other family members still around them. Sasuke has tears streaming down his face, but the anger is replaced with denial now. He's begging him to tell him it's not true, that it's too unlike him, but Itachi looks at him with cold eyes. ]

You have the potential to become my opponent. You are someone who could be able to use Mangekyo Sharingan just like me. However, on one condition... You must kill your closest friend. Just like I did...

[ Itachi turns from him, the memory acting like a scratched disk as it distorts and the audio feels out of place. But it calms itself a second later as Itachi states: ] At present, you are not worth killing. One day, when you have the same eyes as I do, come stand before me!

[ The Mangekyo Sharingan reactives and Sasuke is once again stuck in the memory of the massacre. Only this time, there is no end in sight. The person experiencing his memories is fortunate and only has to see the loop twice before Sasuke's body gives out, and while he was forced to endure it much longer, the memory goes black.

...

Sasuke manages to end it, pulling the poor soul who was forced to watch his family's death out of the genjutsu. His hand is gripping their shoulder roughly, like he's trying to use them to balance himself as well as keep them up if they feel week. Sasuke's eyes are crying blood, but it's runnier, mixing with tears as he tries to collect himself. He takes a breath, looking away, making sure not to make eye contact so he doesn't accidentally stick them in another loop. ]

( II. SASUKE'S MEMORIES: I'M ITCHING TO KILL YOU - CW: MENTAL BREAKDOWN, VIOLENCE, THREATS TOWARDS LOVED ONES, TALK OF MASS MURDER [video link for ease] )

[ Sakura is standing in front of him. They're maybe sixteen, but life has clearly taken its toll. Sasuke's face is covered in blood and Sakura looks desperate as she shouts to him. ]

I'm coming with you! I'm deserting Konoha!

[ Sasuke is filled with doubt and he stares at her for a moment. He points to a girl unconscious beside him, a former teammate that he once cared for a great deal, and he knows Sakura is aware. Karin. A friend. ]

Kill her to prove to me that you're serious.

[ Sakura approaches, kunai in a shaking hand. It's obvious she's hesitating and Sasuke can sense what she's really here for. She's not abandoning anyone. She intends to kill him. When she continues to hesitate, choosing to neither strike at him or Karin, he finally activates the Chidori, going to swing his fist towards her chest. Her eyes are wide and afraid and there's something that twists unpleasantly inside of him, but he doesn't stop.

And then another man kicks him away, making him skid back. The Chidori deactivates and he swings his fits and then kicks at Kakashi, before the two are both pushed back from one another and forced into a fighting stance as they wait. He stares at Kakashi as he gives him the hero speech he'd been expecting. ]

How far you've fallen. Sasuke, I don't like to repeat myself. But I'll say this once more. I've seen so many guys like you, I've lost count. Those who follow the path of revenge and end up nowhere. Do not become possessed by vengeance!

[ The familiar words echo in his head. They sound absurd now, with Danzo lying dead only a few feet away, the knowledge in his mind that Itachi is dead and gone and it was by his own hand. The guilt and fury he feels at being tricked into killing his own brother by the lies that Konoha fed him. Hearing Kakashi once again tell him to not go down that path, as though he had any choice in the matter, any decision he could make in his own life after he's been played with...

The insanity of it overwhelmed him and suddenly the laughter starts. It's sharp and cruel, a laugh of someone whose mind has truly broken. He clutches his stomach and throws back his head as it reaches its peak, before suddenly he stops. His face is cold again and he stares at his old teacher with nothing but hate.

The memory skips and Sasuke and Kakashi stand separate from the others. He grins at him cruely. ]

Stop acting like you're still my sensei. I'm itching to kill you.

[ The memory jumps around as the battle ensues, Sasuke charging at and fighting his sensei, trying to get to Sakura to kill her, the intent in his actions clear. Only he's weak from his fight with Danzo. His eyes are no longer functioning as they should and he misses consistently as his vision blurs. As he swings his blade at Sakura, a blond haired boy appears, lifting her out of the way. ]

Naruto...

[ There's a surge of something inside of Sasuke. Something that's a mix of relief, fury at being stopped, and a strange twisting of hatred and love for his best friend always appearing when he least wants to see him.

But before the battle can continue, the world spins, and the memory ends as Sasuke grips the shoulder of whoever got stuck in it roughly. The world comes back into focus— the real world. Trench. Sasuke's standing in front of them, his eye back to normal and his hair covering his rinnegan once again, even with the blood on his face showing that he has been losing control of his powers again. He looks away when he's sure that they've returned to themselves and goes to stand to the side. ]

... You should go before it happens again.


( III. YOUR CHARACTER'S MEMORIES - CW: BLEEDING EYES )

[ Sasuke's powers don't just project his own memories onto others without intention. Sometimes when he makes eye contact with another individual, particularly if they're experiencing a high level of emotion, he may unintentionally pull up the important memories of another person. It doesn't last long; sometimes he sees flashes, sometimes he sees the entire memory in vivid detail, but he still feels and hears and sees everything that the other experienced in that moment.

Regardless of whether it's happy or sad or violent, Sasuke still collapses onto his knees after, clutching his head as he tries to get back to himself. There's sweat covering his body, his chakra is lower which makes it hard to stand, and blood has begun to leak at the corner of his eyes.

After a second, he looks up, swallowing roughly, trying to avoid catching the other person's eyes again. He knows those moments can be just as vulnerable and intense for the other, and unlike him, they may not be used to it. ]

Are you okay?

( IV. HALLUCINATIONS - CW: PARALYSIS, BLEEDING EYES )

[ Sometimes it isn't memories that Sasuke's genjutsu ends up pulling up. Instead, he may pull out someone's worst fears and nightmares, recreating them around them in vivid hallucinations. Whether it's being haunted by ghosts of their pasts, tortured by monsters, or even being dangled by strings that pierce their skin and use them as a human puppet— no matter how abstract, their fears and nightmares will have come to life around them.

Their physical body will be frozen in place, but they will be completely unaware of this fact. It may only take a few minutes or it may take hours before they (or Sasuke) is able to break them free of the hallucinations, but they will feel drained after, physically and emotionally, and may even collapse.

Sasuke will have not left their side, having tried to get control of his powers so he could help them and free them from the curse he put them under. There are traces of blood trails on his cheeks from where he had tried to clean himself up before the other person regained their awareness. He knows bleeding from the eyes is a little freaky looking.

When they do come to, he's already going to try and help them up, careful not to move them too quickly. ]

We should get you some food or tea. You need to replenish your energy.

[ This is... sort of his way of apologizing. Or trying to. He won't be offended or surprised if he gets shoved away. ]

Comments

Closed Starters

[retsuden]

[[ Message me on this journal, cunnilinguist#4424, or on keshet to plot out a closed log! ]]

Karkat - End of Feb

[retsuden]

[ This was stupid. The worst idea he'd ever had. His powers were going insane, his anger levels were worse than they'd been since he had fucking murdered people, and there was no sign of it actually slowing down. Sometimes, he noticed, when he actually talked to other people, it started to ebb, but connecting to others was becoming increasingly difficult when he kept showing them his worst memories or their worst fears or proving himself to be the direct God damn reason that they turned into a beast.

A monster.

The word had been echoing in his head on repeat and it had made him lock himself away from the people he cared about most. How could he face Sakura when he had been forced to see himself kill her over and over again these past weeks? She wasn't able to understand, always too forgiving of his flaws, and he wasn't sure he deserved to be forgiven in the moment. He'd had thought about just holing himself up in the caves in the rocks again, but that had made it worse, not better, and Lance's advice sticks out to him whenever he thinks about it.

The best advice I can give is tell you to do the exact opposite of whatever you're thinking of saying or doing.

The opposite means finding someone and the person that comes to mind who may actually get the particular form of self-deprecation that he's finding himself locked into is Karkat. It had still taken him a day or two to actually convince himself that it was the best option, knowing that if he ended up hurting the one person that he had reached out to for help would probably make him fall further rather than fix whatever it was that was fucking with his head. But something in him told him he had to take that risk to manage to break this cycle.

So knock. Just knock. ... Does he know how to knock...? ​]

Karkat! Come outside.

[ Jesus fucking Christ why is he so bad at everything related to interpersonal relationships ever he doesn't even know he's HOME ]

[klawful]

(There were three decent things about Karkat. The best thing about Karkat was the fact that he was the world's biggest shut-in. Like most trolls, he spent most of his time online, his shoulders permanently stuck in a hunch because of it. Another positive was the fact that Karkat forgot to sleep most days and trolls could stay awake for substantially longer than humans. The last was that he had a high tolerance for bullshit. Even if Sasuke did hurt him, Karkat would never hold it against the guy. He would just talk through it with him.

He would really talk about anything with Sasuke though. He liked the guy. He just seemed like a dude who got a shit card in life and Karkat could empathize. Birth-based persecutions were fucked no matter what species you are or world you come from.

Karkat has relatively sensitive hearing, and his place was basically one big room. His ears perk up and - oh shit. He crawls out of his nest of sweaters and wanders over to the door. His paleblood senses were tingling, but so was just his basic empathy skills. He swings open the door, squinting his red eyes a bit, feeling only slightly disoriented. Literally, no one has visited him in this town except for Kyle. He wasn't exactly a dude people thought to seek.

But shit, who cares? Karkat was already frowning.)

Hey, dude. Are you okay? (...) That's a stupid question, sorry. Obviously, you're not.

(Karkat's clearly not offended by Sasuke's blunt demand at least! But then also...)

Uh, you sure you want me to come outside? You can come inside. We can have some privacy. I have a sweet pile of sweaters we can platonically cuddle on.

(This is a completely normal thing for trolls to offer, okay. It seems reasonable! Sasuke was upset! About something. Karkat's mouth twitches down, brows drawing together. He wants to ask a billion questions, but he had a feeling that might not the wisest approach with Sasuke. He could take it slow. Go at Sasuke's pace.)

Sakura - around Feb 21st

[retsuden]

It didn't feel like leaving the cave was necessarily the right thing to do. Sasuke was sure that he was only going to end up hurting people, that he would run in to more trouble than it was worth, and there was a part of him that had almost told Sakura she could deal with the disappointment and he was going to stay right where he was. He'd never had any issue abandoning her in the past, why shouldn't he keep the pattern here?

Because he was trying to change.

That was the one thing that had latched itself into him. He was trying to be different, to not handle his shit the same way he always did. He hurt Sakura too many times for her to deserve to get hurt by him the same way all over again. He knew she was stubborn and she'd probably come try to find him anyway, but if she got hurt on the rocks, or worse, if she found him and he hurt her because of his own temper and stubbornness towards going back...

The least he owed her was to try. He sighed as he stepped over the last few jagged rocks, using his chakra to leap to the shore's edge. He stood by the water, watching the waves roll in as he waited for her.

[creationrebirth]

The thing about Sakura was that even if he'd told her to leave him alone, or refuse her company, she wouldn't have listened. Maybe it would have been frustrating to him, but she would have looked in every cave and every corner to find where he was so he wouldn't be dealing with whatever this was alone. Sakura never had been good at leaving him alone and she wasn't going to start now.

But she was taking the precautions that she'd said she would. She'd brought with her a couple of things to help him, unsure of what might be most comfortable. Despite the way her mind had gone down the gutter, she really had thought a blindfold of some sort would be a good way to protect him from accidentally using his sharingan. Truthfully she hated to use it on him, after all, the last time he'd been blindfolded, to her knowledge, he'd been in prison. She'd also brought a cane to help him walk if he did want the blindfold and didn't want to use her as a guide.

With the things in hand, she makes her way towards the rocks, glad to see that she doesn't have to go searching for him all over the cliffs. As soon as he comes into view, she waves to him and calls out his name. Afterwards she hurries over to him, making short work of the distance between them.

Thinking about what he'd told her, she avoids looking into his eyes at first. "Are you good? Can I look at you?"

Uchiha Clan Memory

[tempredmental]

[The hand gripping his shoulder was the one thing that anchored him after seeing all of that. It was the one thing that suddenly didn't fit. The vision had been looping and looping and looping, but that was different, and Keith forced himself to focus on it, feeling a pull, a small tug... and then a yank. It was disorienting, but he was suddenly in the present, face-to-face with Sasuke who...]

Sasuke?

[Was that... blood? Keith tilted his head, trying to follow to keep eye contact, not understanding why Sasuke was looking away.]

[retsuden]

[ Keith. Of course. A memory for a memory, wasn't it? Only he thinks he would've rather had him see his own days in his Academy, when he would pick fights for no reason, something a little more equal, a little less... That.

He closes his eyes when he sees Keith trying to follow, covering them with his hand and shaking his head. ]

Don't. It could trigger another one. [ Maybe. Possibly. He has no idea, he realizes, but it's not worth the risk. ] You don't want to endure something like that twice, I'm sure.

[tempredmental]

[At this point, Keith had no reason to believe otherwise, so he stopped trying to meet his eyes.]

Are you... okay? You're-... You're bleeding.

[Like... from the eyes... that was bad, right?]

B-I

[entreats]

.. probably.

[ It's a relatively casual answer, especially in the face of the tone Sasuke is speaking up with. But Ange is so incredibly used to people speaking the way he does that her own tone sounds as deadpan and casual as it ever does..

Or, well, the way it usually is. The last time they spoke, the only time they really spoke, despite having seen each other earlier on than that.. Ange hadn't really sounded that way. And Sasuke hadn't sounded this way, she recalls. It seems like January really changed something about the both of them.

Maybe that's why she couldn't help but approach when she saw him out on the sand. She was curious after all that. ]

But I assume we're both out here for the same reason.

[ Not because there's nothing better to do, but because this is a quiet spot. Because this is far away from everything else.

Because this is the one place you can look out for stuff from your own world. ]

[retsuden]

[ There's some comfort in knowing that he's not the only one who's changed since the last month. Gone back to normal in the same way that he assumes she has now. It was a little nice to know that he wasn't the only one who had become a little bit friendlier than he usually liked to be for a month.

Or maybe he's just projecting. Since she isn't leaving. He had gone to sigh in annoyance when she approached, but it stops short at words. The same reason, huh?

He glances down at the sand, sees the glint of objects he doesn't recognize but he knows probably belong to someone.

He gives a short nod. ]

Right.

[ He shifts the bag on his shoulder, looking back to her. ]

I'm not as interested in conversation as I was last time.

[entreats]

[ Talk about being upfront.

It's not something Ange minds though. It's better to be clear about these sorts of things than to be all indirect about it and cause awkwardness in the end, after all. Still - there's something that feels familiar about his response. Not quite a kinship, but the sense that they share something in common. Something that was - more or less - violated during the previous month. ]

So it changed you too, huh?

[ Either something has caught her eye, or Ange is just trying to make this not seem like An Actual Conversation as much as possible, because the girl squats down to wipe aside some sand. ]

ciii!

[asas]

[ shards of memory overlap and bring a fresh smell of the sea and the sweetness of coconut to sasuke’s senses. the sun is hot, his skin is sticky with sweat and lotion, and the flat of his bare feet have probably dug into sand. a squawking macaw flies overhead as his eyes look through the shady canopy of palm trees, a walkway, a beach filled with people, laughing or simply speaking to one another in an incomprehensible lull, a crystalline blue shore, parachutes gliding seamlessly in the sky, drumming, passionate music playing on someone’s portable radio and even hang gliding— what he’s experiencing is rio de janeiro in 4k.

before the general experience is over, sasuke may remember one thing with the most clarity: a net, a court, the rush of his heart as an opponent spreads his arms and sends him a message. he can feel the verge of panic and the fighting control of his body and mind all at once, with so many thoughts racing into overlap: don’t tense up don’t relax i’m calm dig your heels spin speed power block fear just get it up—

he feels adrenaline, energy, focus and focus, he can see and feel how his feet shift his weight in the sand and how his arms float into position. the crack of the ball being spiked his way, deliberately aimed and fast gives him a rush like no other: but it’s the satisfaction and joy of getting the ball up in smooth form and the spectators gasping, shouting and roaring that makes the entire play his life.

it’s so much fun. you breathe it. the word “volleyball”.

after a blink or two, dazed and uncertain during a memory he wasn’t quite sure why he was going back to, shōyō forgets it all and bounds to the man he had made eye contact with on a simple walk to and from work. ]

Are you—?!

[ there was blood in his eyes— ]

[retsuden]

[ It's strange to see something so nice, to feel emotions of excitement and pride and joy in a way that he's not sure he's ever experienced in his own life. The closest rival comes from the moment his father had said he'd done well and walked away and even that seems weak in comparison to an entire crowd being just as excited as the players of... Volleyball? Why does that word sound so familiar?

Focus. Focus on the present, not the memory. He's still trying to catch his breath, one hand still clutching his head, but he finally is able to register that the guy he'd accidentally thrown into a genjutsu loop was actually concerned about him of all people. Maybe it was easier when you weren't reliving trauma. ]

I'm fine.

[ It comes out snappier than he wanted for it to, but it's hard to not feel frustrated that his powers are still getting the better of him. He manages to pull himself up from the ground, wiping the blood trail from his cheek with his palm. He's not quite as steady on his feet as he'd like, but like hell he's staying kneeling. ]

[asas]

Um . . . [ shōyō doesn’t know. blood coming out of anywhere seems pretty alarming to him, so despite the growl returned to him, he’s . . . wholly unconvinced. ] Blood’s— coming out of your eyes, man.

[ he gives a little point towards. and now it’s smudged all over his face— oh, that makes his stomach do flips. it feels like something that happens right before a full body possession or zombie infection or alien parasite about to burst out of your chest— ]

Doesn’t it hurt?

iii (Feb 28) cw: mentions of self harm

[azurestar]

[It's after the stress of the battle with the Leviathan, and he's managed to deal with the hex he's been suffering. The only person he could ever confess all of those desires to is Hunk, and his best friend was there at the right moment to hear him out. The pain and punishment for his desires stopped, but the corruption didn't disappear. He had still been through quite a lot through the bulk of the month, harming himself to manage the agony, avoiding Keith, generally falling apart and becoming more and more detached.

Now, he's trying to reconnect, to cope. He's badly hurt and powering through it to go to The Red and try to connect. He brings his guitar and covers all the wounds and the signs of corruption as best he can and he plays in private corners with people who need it. But it's still hard so he goes out to hunt, to not think, to take down monsters he doesn't sense a person inside of and try to corral the ones who might be saved. But that too is hard because of what his body has been since he battled Maul…

This night, he's heading home after a long day of struggle in trying to recover when he comes across Sasuke. He'll be able to see that Lance's skin is off in color, ashy and sick looking, he has fangs and a patch over his left eye. He'd been looking down was he walked, but he senses Sasuke's familiarity and looks up, catches his eye-

And he's back in that memory. It's not like when he watched it in December with Luz, and then… the pieces got sequestered away from him again as the forced viewing of it re-traumatized him. This is a full reliving of it, like his mind has returned to its state in that moment. And when it's over, he's shaking, clutching his head and staring into nothing with wide eyes. Broken, hallucinating visions of her death on repeat and voices scream and laugh and whisper in his head. But it's not over yet…]

[retsuden]

[ Sasuke's powers have been slowly getting back under control, the more he works with Sakura, the more he can feel his corruption waning. She'd talked him into coming out of the caves and returning back to the city, though he still had spent most of the days locked in his room while they worked through whatever it was that was keeping his Sharingan activated and his skin hot to to the touch. There had been streaks of black starting to show up along his arms, similar to the curse pattern he'd rid himself of so long ago.

Those were starting to fade to looking more like burn scars than anything else, though, and while his eyes still wouldn't turn off at his own will, he had thought he was getting better control of the genjutsu. It was why he had been willing to go and walk anywhere again and had even made time to check in at the orphanage, to make sure that it was still well managed even in the midst of all the chaos from the battle so many had been forced to fight in.

He hadn't even thought to turn away from Lance because of it. With how awful the other guy looked, he had even wanted to check on him, to see if he was... well, alright, considering everything. But more the fool him, apparently, as he had no sooner opened his mouth than the genjutsu had taken hold, and Sasuke's head had felt like it wanted to split open from both the physical and emotional pain that had ended up coursing through him. The hallucinations would have been bad enough, but the turmoil from Allura (a name he doesn't recognize, but the emotions that he suffers through are more than enough for him to get how important she is without having to follow up about it later) and the way that Lance had broken at her death made it all so much worse. He needed to break it, he needed to find a way out, he had to change this.

But his attempt to pull them both free of the illusion does neither of them any good, the tunnels twisting and warping to a different rocky interior, one that's more structured, more clearly built by man, and his brother waiting confidently in a chair, like he knew he'd come all along. The fight is long and intense, the exhaustion and pain throughout too real to feel like just a memory, but that's how this always goes, isn't it? It's not until the end, when Itachi is limping towards him as fear courses through Sasuke's body, when Itachi's hand is reaching out, pressing his fingers into Sasuke's forehead, that other memories break through. Times when Itachi did the same tap in a loving way, reminding him that maybe next time he'd be there, maybe next time he could come along...

And finally that he doesn't have to forgive him. I will always love you. Before crumbling to dust, disappearing, dead for good in a way that leaves Sasuke trembling and broken even more than before.

It's then that he finally manages to grab hold of Lance's shoulder, forcing himself out of his own paralysis and quickly releasing the jutsu that had held them both in some loop. He doesn't remove his hand, even though he thinks maybe he shouldn't be touching anyone right now, shouldn't be near anyone. Especially not when he's sure Lance has so many more painful memories he could end up being dragged into.

He's keeping his eyes downcast at least, the dark blood trickling down his cheeks in place of tears, his breath heavy and his head still spinning. ]

Lance...? Can you hear me? Are you... are you okay...?

[ He's at least 99% sure that that's going to be a painfully obvious no, but he has to ask. ]

[azurestar]

[It's like he's in Sasuke's shoes, the anger, the hatred, the love, the fear. It's not like what he's lived through in his life, but there are some parallels, and it's… a lot. Too much to even get his brain around after reliving killing Allura. The experience dug up a lot of wounds and opened them fresh and add Sasuke's wounds on top of that, and…

Lance isn't really home now, in fact he barely looks like Lance. His powers have unleashed in a flash of searing heat that Sasuke might want to get away from and fast. It's as though the power of Sasuke's uncontrolled jutsu transported his mind away from the trigger spark of his ability in his body, and now that it's broken, his ability is reacting to the trauma and it's reacting dangerously.

He sits frozen and hyperventilating, staring into nothing and bleeding from his own eyes… or eye. The eyepatch he has covering the corruption is burned off but the rest of his clothes have been enchanted to withstand his powers. The light is so intensely consuming his body, almost like he's made of it, that the look on his face isn't even clear. And the energy is spreading like a growing star, flaring and bursting.

Sasuke may have to use his Sharingan again to help get it under control because he's melting and incinerating things. Electromagnetic interference is causing lights etc. to go haywire and the weather is starting to shift dark and erratic storms, winds and shifting colors.

So uh, no… he is very much not okay. It's a very painfully obvious and dangerous no, you are correct.]

cii, I decided Flynn's just out and about for this one before things get really bad!

[thinkfirst]

[ The memory hits Flynn like the laser to the chest he took on top of Zaude: all at once, like nothing he's ever experienced before. The lines around who he is blur sharply, tilting into someone else. Flynn feels those things, and Flynn thinks those things, and Flynn uses artes he's never heard of, surging with power he's never felt, sick with feeling that isn't his own. He rides out the memory in a haze, freezes at the rush of feeling accompanying blonde hair, and comes out of it all stumbling and half-nauseous, leaning on him as buildings settle into reality around them, their tall crooked forms less real for a moment than the cliffs and trees had been. ]

Sasuke—!

[ Flynn chokes out, lunging for him as he retreats—a cobblestone rears up under his foot, and tripping over it only gives him more momentum to try and grab for Sasuke's wrist, something, anything. He can't just let him leave after that, with his face bloody and his eyes haunted and that memory still throbbing in the warming air. ]

what a good time for an outing; cw for broken bones, blood, maybe mild body horror in link?

[retsuden]

[ Sasuke isn't expecting to be grabbed, doesn't want to be grabbed, and he's quick to try and yank his wrist out of Flynn's grip. His head is pounding and his body feels weak and it's because of that that he doesn't even think when he turns, growling out a quick and sharp: ] Don't.

[ The emotional impact of the memories seems to only further feed the corruption, making it that much harder to control the sharingan or its apparent desire to broadcast his worst memories to someone he really barely knows. The genjutsu starting up makes him give out a sharp cry this time, his eyes not rested enough for the power that surges through them, and Flynn might just be able to catch sight of Sasuke taking a knee before he's pulled into another memory.

He's younger this time, so much younger it feels like, but it's the same blond from before, and the same surge of emotion that courses through him as they glare at one another from across the waterfall. It's Naruto who throws the first punch, but Sasuke's counter is far more filled with hate, far more powerful, and he can feel Naruto's ribs crack under his fist as he sends him flying across the water, skipping like a rock.

The fight comes in the same flashes as the last, broken up and fuzzy, like someone trying to fight or block out a painful memory. But there's one loud, bellowing phrase that echoes out above everything else, almost like a deafening voice over while Sasuke and Naruto trade blows, as Naruto unleashes the power of the Ninetails:

Sasuke! I'm not gonna let Orochimaru take you away!

It's too late, Naruto. It's already too late.

There's a scratch against metal, a loud explosion, and then Naruto is laying in the water with Sasuke hovering over him. There's an overwhelming sense of sadness, enough to make the heartbreak inside of him feel like physical pain as he hovers over him, a small tingling of the love he still feels, but wants so badly to push away.

And then the memory ends as abruptly as it started. Sasuke's forced them painfully out of the genjutsu, a move that only makes the blood from his eyes pour more freely, and his breath come in heavy pants as he stays on all fours on the cobblestones of Trench, his body covered in sweat. He wants to leave, needs to leave, but he doesn't even think he could get his legs to hold him up properly at the moment. ]

[thinkfirst]

What is happening—

[ Flynn gasps, fighting against his own cold sweat, the heaving in his belly. He wavers, his fingers flying to Sasuke's shoulder, and then sinks down beside him as his strength leaves at once. Blonde hair and a young face, so much pain, so much love—

and Sasuke bleeding and panting, hard on the ground in the real world. Flynn lets himself collapse, ignores the sting of knees-on-cobblestone, and reaches for him properly, his head a whirl of memories not his own. ]

Sasuke! Look at me. You need help, you're bleeding. Let me help.

[ He has never cast on his knees, but light is already flaring on the ground around them. ]

sword lessons

[royalfling]

[ A couple weeks after his wedding, Wu calls Sasuke up to see if he's still interested in teaching Wu swordplay, which is how he ends up in some semblance of exercise gear (leggings, a loose tank top, a light jacket), ready to Learn. He doesn't quite recognize Sasuke right away at their designated meeting spot, probably some courtyard with a decent amount of space. Fritter the raccoon is perched on his shoulder, and he's petting her and talking to her. She doesn't respond except for small sounds, but he understands her well enough. ]

I don't know, sweetheart. It can't hurt to try again. Yeah, yes. I know. I told Mako, I won't hurt myself, I promise. It won't be like with the gun! You can't just accidentally hit someone with a sword.

[ At least, that's what he tells himself. ]

not here

[arclightning]

[ Through their new bond, Wu hears a few short words, dry and amused and more than a little worried: ]

Yes you can.

[retsuden]

[ The whole useful thing about being a ninja is being able to arrive without people hearing you're coming, especially given how often he travels by rooftop and tree branches out of habit. Which means he gets to pick up on that exchange with Fritter. Accidentally hit someone is something he'd like to avoid, but you know... ]

You can if you aren't careful.

[ Sasuke hops down to the ground next to him, going to pull off his cloak so he can place it to the side. ]

But that's what the training is for.

CHARACTER MEMORIIIIIEES

[fusrodaaaah]

[Does constant state of anxiety count as a heightened emotion? If that's Melius' default state? Oh well - either way, he'd been minding his own business, bringing a cold resistance potion out to his buddy slash roommate, just in case. Nights aren't the warmest here, yet. And then the next thing he knew, there really was snow swirling all around. The sound of a winter ocean is harsh in the air.]

[A lighthouse rises into the air, up a long, winding path. But despite the storm rising, the howling wind, the light at the top is dead, cold.]

[Really, that should have been his first clue.]

[The dead horse sprawled in the little stable outside probably should have been another. But it's so cold, he's out of resistance potions, miles and miles from Winterhold, or even Dawnstar. He doesn't have a choice but to knock on the heavy door - only to have it slowly open under his simple touch. Revealing an interior as dark and cold as the night outside.]

[A step forward, a lamp lifted.]

[It's a wreck, inside. A complete and utter mess. It was a kitchen, once. A huge hearth standing cold, remnants of a meal still dangling over dead coals, a table laying smashed in two. Chairs sprawl over one another in piles, more kindling than furniture. Mead bottles, cookware, spoiled food dot the stone floor. And a corpse. A woman's corpse, lying on her back in a pool of congealed blood, near a pile of chitinous plating.]

[Frostflow Lighthouse.]

this is FINE

[retsuden]

[ Sasuke's thinking he needs to get a blindfold with a jutsu seal on it until this all passes. It also likely would have helped if he'd communicated with the people closest to him about what was going on to potentially avoid these situations, and yet...

If it wasn't for feeling Melius' own experiences in the memory, Sasuke probably would have just felt tired as he looked around the lighthouse. There's his own instinct to want to reach out and touch the corpse, to find out what happened to her by looking at her memories, the way he would if he'd stumbled on such a gruesome sight at home. But he's got to remind himself this isn't real and that he doesn't have that option. He's limited to what Melius saw and felt and did.

He lets out a sigh. ]

Remind me to lock my door when we get out of this. [ It's muttered with the exhaustion he's feeling, mostly because he knows that won't really help anything in a place like Trench. ]