deercountry | Mother stands for comfort

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Mother stands for comfort

Who: Luz and you (and specifically with Luca)
What: Luz tries to resist the hex, and not mutate herself until she finally falls to beast hood
When: Middle of February (sorry Luz, no birthday for you)
Where: All around Trench

She'd read the sermon and was sure that was when the trouble began. Luz had thought, after getting others who'd been sympathetic and lent an ear to her troubles, that she might be able to ride out the crazy of this month, that she'd get to her birthday in relative peace. Unfortunately, things didn't get better: instead, Luz found herself plagues by the past: her father leaving, the scorn of being that "weird" kid in her class, and the things that came with her Deerington and new Trench memories.

After Varian, Luz had been meticulous about trying to keep such thoughts from consuming her, trying to talk to others when she could, listening to advice and meditating more than she probably had any month. But the thoughts kept coming, and no matter what Luz did, she found she was feeling more depressed by the day, even though she interacted with people and did her best to keep her smile up.

And then one day, she found it was starting to feel worse than usual, enough that she even resorted to turning to her bird form if only to escape those memories. Now they were starting to compound, and images of the cave men and the Blood Cultists and their attacks on her began to plague her nightmares. It got so bad that she woke up feeling the cuts in her skin as clearly as she had back then, and she would be breathing hard and be so anxious she stayed in bed.

She had no idea how to stop this, and moments where she started to consider self-harm surfaced, shocking her so badly she took a cold bath, shivering and in tears, wondering what would happen next.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I've heard she's become a shadow of herself, that she lives out in the BAD part of the woods, unrecognizable. Even the Fathiers know not to go there. I'm guessing its part of her curse, to be a part of whatever dark forces reign there."

Personally, she may not have liked what Ramona had done, but her punishment seemed much harsher than what happened to that harridan who simply was called a different name and still had her own collective of worshippers.

"I feel like we could do without the intensity of some of those 'lessons'," Luz said, sighing. "It always seems to end with trauma."

"..." Vira-Lorr's countenance darkened. Yeah, that was not something that she wanted to hear. But at the same time, Ramona's powers weren't impacting them here, so she was ... powerless after a fashion. "I... need to look into that at some point. To make sure she's no danger."

"Agreed. It's more than a little too much at times. Whatever good comes of it is accidental."

"Might be better to leave that be. I don't know why, but I don't find myself wanting to venture too far out into the really questionable parts of Trench. I feel like they're that way for a reason."

And honestly, Luz figured the less Vira thought about Ramona, the better.

"And its hard enough trying to explain that to new people, you know?"

She breathed in and out slowly. "I will try to leave it be. But it's hard with that woman. I will always worry that what she became will lead to further trouble. If she is contained, however, then good..." A shake of the head and she relented for now.

"Effectively impossible with a few rare and generally unfortunate exceptions. Those who knew the robot bear seemed to have a bit of a sense of it... but he was twisted beyond recognition."

"I think at this point, it's only further trouble for herself. It doesn't seem like she can do much in that form, and even if she could, who would follow her? I think most people are starting to forget that Deerington even existed."

Which made her uneasy, since Sister Psycho still seemed to be around.

"Exactly! Wait, what about a robot bear?"

"Yes and no. I certainly won't allow them to completely forget. Can't make the same mistakes... but if she's trapped with only physical prowess it lessens the harm she can do considerably." And if that was the case, it definitely made it easier to ignore her.

"It was... a period when people were put through awful, forced court sequences run by a demented robotic teddy bear. I do not remember if you saw those or not. Let's just say it was not aa good month for me, and blessedly those memories are now only in my head."

"Right. She can just suffer for. Her actions."

It didn't sound right coming out of her mouth, and that was because Luz didn't believe it. It sounded like a horrible existence, one that made every day a waking nightmare. She may have disliked what the creature represented to Vira, but it still sounded awful to her ears.

"Oh that. No, no, I've seen one at least. It wasn't something I wish I remembered but. I never died in Deerington, so all my memories are intact. My horrible, horrible memories."

Luz partly said this as a joke, but it was a pretty bitter one.

No, it didn't sound right coming out of either of their mouths, but it was what it was. Vira-Lorr did believe it, but even she knew how much it was wrong to feel that way. She sighed and nodded. "Or at the very least, may she never harm another again. I suppose... that would be enough." She could concede that at least.

She reached over and ruffled her hair, smiling at her. "I hate that some of those are awful, but I'm glad they're all intact at the very least. We'll have to protect that, won't we? But fortunately, I think you missed my trial. It's for the best."

"I still don't see how she gets that and Mother Superior gets to stay her awful self."

Sure, she knew she was not where she would have liked, but Superior had hurt a lot of her friends in Deerington, and relished their pain. That wasn't something Luz was soon going to forget.

"No, I'm just being crappy. They're far from all bad, some are just way worse than others."

She hugged her friend. "Thinking about you in pain is not something I'd love seeing, no."

She snorted and laughed sadly. "Now there, you're not wrong. I gave that woman so many chances to accept our help and she dashed it in the end. There is very little fair about what happened to Mother Mercy." A shake of the head and a grim look before letting it wash away and hugging back at her friend.

"Then let us not think too long on it, mmm? It is not as if we need to worry about them coming out to bite us ... at least not today, yes?"

"I wouldn't have been so forgiving myself," Luz said, but left it at that. Vira had her feelings on Ramona, and Luz had hers about Mother Mercy. As far as Luz was concerned, with all the pain she intentionally caused, not enough bad things happened to her for her liking.

But of course, that was not something she needed to worry about. Vira was right about that.

"I sure hope not. We have plenty going on without having to deal with them again!"

"There were a few moments where I thought there was still some good in her, but she was too much spite and madness in the end." Admittedly? She regretted that quite a bit, but not something they could go back to anymore.

"Agreed. For now, Mother Mercy is... at least a distant problem most days."

"I just got nothing but madness on her part," Luz answered honestly, "but you knew her longer than I did. You'd be a better judge."

And both creatures were locked in what they were now anyway.

"Let's hope she stays that way. Last thing any Sleeper needs is for her to gain power again."

"I also had the misfortune of investigating her madness pretty deeply at points. It bred a bit of unwise sympathy that she ultimately flung back in my face," she muttered, shaking her head. "But that familiarity did breed contempt in turn. Still, she has far less power at least and I believe the Pthumerians have no interest in seeing her in power any longer, so there is that."

"Maybe it's because you're much older than me that you can say you tried to help her. I just know about all the pain she inflicted on the people I care about in Deerington. I'm still pretty mad that she gets to continue to do anything, even if it is limited."

Luz hadn't forgotten the nightmares of being in that haunted house formerly belonging the girl that DID die.

"I think... what it is that I remember a time when she still loved that girl, when at the very end, her rage was born out of the fact that Julia had died. She was responsible, unknowingly, but she reacted to her pain and loss with rage, wanting to destroy anything, to have something to blame. Hence us." A sigh. "I wanted to help her... because I finally saw there was something pitiable in her."

"But that part of her died over time too."

"I felt a little of that too. I didn't know Julia like a lot of you did, but I knew she'd been a kid like me, and I wanted to try and do something for her. I think a lot of us did, that didn't think she was specifically trying to punish us. But Mother Superior's hate for us kinda drowned out any sympathy I would have had for her."

Certainly seeing that "AU" version of herself had been enough to make Luz scared that she would eventually become as jaded as Superior had seemed to be herself.

"Well, I wonder sometimes if we truly knew her at all, but I think you understand what I mean, yes." She nodded firmly. "And her grandmother's loathing truly damaged almost anyone's ability to sympathize. The few moments I picked up her regret were ultimately just drowned out in how unbelievably petty she could be at times, though I think part of that was because she didn't think of us as real."

"Probably not. Who really understands anyone until you actually go into their head? It would be really frustrating to wonder what the heck she thought we were, and if we weren't real, what she thought we actually were. I'm just glad we're not under her watch anymore."

"I've literally been inside her head. It was a less than pleasant experience, and even then I'm not sure that I truly understood her." A sigh and she smiled. "But let's just make sure the other Pthumerians stay in charge at the very least. It could always be worse."

Luz's eyes widened, but she nodded her head. "Right, I think it's probably best that no one ever really understands anyone quite like that anyway. Going into people's heads sounds like a primary way to just give yourself nightmares for a long time."

Vira had honestly been through so much. She was glad Deerington was at least a little bit of a bad memory instead of the reality and horror to live through again.

"You think it's better this way?"

Luz wasn't judging, but she was curious.

"Especially her head." Yeah, the two times she'd been inside Mother Superior's mind and memories had been insanity inducing, really. But that was hopefully done at the ery least.

"Trench, than Deerington?" She sighed and looked out over the city. "It is not a dying world, and its people are real and very much alive. The Pthumerians' influence is not a healthy thing, not with how alien their minds are to ours, but they're better now than before."

"But... it could be better."

Luz nodded. She'd been in more than one person's memory to know that it was NOT always a pleasant experience.

"I kinda got that vibe too. Everything in Deerington kinda gave off the vibe that it was only a matter of time before things would get dark and scary. But it is at least better than Deerington, and bigger."

Luz gave a weak laugh. "It could. It really could."

"Here, there's always a low hum of the dark and sinister, but there's patches of safety, and preparations are easier to manage. It's a known factor, rather than an unknown one that you expect at any time." A grunt. "But the way to make it better comes with the knowledge that it can be predicted, and thus studied and worked to control. That just takes time and we're at the ground up."

"We get a lot of the unknown stuff too though, but I agree with you. Most of the time, you get the idea that you can deal with this stuff a little better than normal."

Luz nodded but looked troubled. "Think we'll slowly be able to deal with more of this mess, the more alert and studious that we are?"

Mother stands for comfort

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