can't relax at all these days [temp closed]

[hauntedsavior]

Who: Anna Amarande and you!
What: February event catchall
When: February
Where: Anna's house, more locations as they come in

Content Warnings: Violence, violence a second time, sexual content, more as they come in

a. a dream plays a song out of tune [closed to satoko and kainé]

Well, texting a witch who looks several years her junior for 2AM cuddle sessions is not necessarily Anna's best plan, but she doesn't really know anyone else who's good for it. She could ask her new roommate, sure, but... ha. Yeah, right, like K is interested in cuddling. She'd probably just call Anna a fucking loser and tell her to go hug a pillow. Which leaves this text hanging in the air.

Satoko.
You wanna come over?

And, because she can't just leave it at that, she sends something else that should probably already be obvious a moment later. It must be something about the moon this month that's making her chest ache for physical contact. Maybe it's just February. She hasn't had a reason to celebrate the 14th in a long time and doubts anyone around here celebrates it either, but that doesn't stop her mind from wandering.

Having another rough night.

Now to wait. Should she warn Satoko about anything? Probably not.

((right now this is closed but i will add more open prompts as my brain begins to work better))

Comments

cw sexual content

[hauntedsavior]

b. i'm sick of all the lies [for kainé]

[on most nights, anna wouldn't be in this kind of state. on most nights, she'd be able to call satoko over again—especially now that she won't get beaten up immediately. but tonight, it's a combination of her blood, the emotions running deep inside her, the desire to let her secrets out somehow, and the fact that these urges are definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent not ones that she can leave in satoko's care that bring her to the state she's in tonight.]

[namely, her shirt hiked halfway up her body and her hand between her bare legs. the things she's thinking, she knows she shouldn't say, and that urge to punish herself for them is only getting stronger the longer she tries to get herself off. she knows she's not being quiet. she's not crying out any names, no, but when she closes her eyes she can imagine someone on top of her, holding her down and thrusting into her. it's her roommate. it shouldn't be. it shouldn't be, but it's kainé in her mind's eye and it makes her hate herself. she bites her lip hard, trying to make herself bleed even a little. any sort of reprieve. anything. all it does is make her realize how little her fingers compare to the real thing. she moans again, louder, almost begging kainé to hear.]

alexa, play "take me to church"

[foulhussy]

[ Kainé isn't strong enough to endure this. Last month, she had been able to pretend to look away from what she felt for the woman she lived with. Easier that way. It's not like she really knew what that felt like, after all (but she did). But that falsified ignorance gradually melted away, until February tore down those bare remnants.

Unable to bear fruit, her desires took root in her mind, and those roots burrowed deep, twisting and gnarled, ripping her apart from the inside. She mortified her flesh, she threw herself into her gruesome work, but none of it could free her. She felt something terrible rising within her, starting to transform her, throwing Kainé's heart into emotional vertigo.

And none of it was helped by the subject of those feelings. Anna became oddly reticient, and they both spent most of their time out. They felt like strangers but when they were together— Kainé doesn't understand love, but she knows lust. She knows what the hunger in Anna's gaze means, and the sounds from her room that became louder every night. Some nights, Anna would hear sounds too, quiet as Kainé tried to keep them.

That unexpected visitor only made obvious what they both already knew. ]

Stop! Shut the hell up! [ Kainé slams her fist on the door. She's really pathetic. All she can do is just plead for the pain to go away. ] Anna, I— I can't! I can't take this!

[ Her voice is half-sob, desperate enough to drown out Anna's moans. What is she pleading for? Freedom or satiation? ]

[hauntedsavior]

[the pounding on her door makes her gasp louder than anything she's been doing to herself. shame floods her body hotter than a thousand suns but she can't even immediately stop herself. she almost wants kainé to burst in, to stop her. (to pin her down and tear her apart from the inside.) it's disgusting. it's horrible. the pain wells up inside her as that wholly different need takes over, crowds out any arousal or desire, and her fingers finally come to a halt.]

[she pushes off the bed and forces herself to take each anguished step to the door. when she opens it, she stares at her roommate through one eye with her eyepatch off and her hair a mess. her shirt falls down, unbunching at last and covering up most of her again, though there's still nothing to leave to the imagination. her tone is heavy when she talks, and she swallows thick. there's nothing stopping her from saying things out loud. not like this when all her filters seem to be vanishing and all she wants to do is act on impulse.]

[but still. it's kainé. she can't just say something like that. her breathing is ragged. she can't. but if she doesn't, she'll die.]

I have wanted you for weeks. [and the relief that brings is instant, but not enough. there's still more she's hiding inside of her. her hand clasps on kainé's shoulder as she leans forward and tries to whisper satiation at her.] Get in here and rearrange my fucking insides.

[foulhussy]

[ The sight of Anna like that knocks the breath out of Kainé, half-dressed and all disheveled and burning with want for her. Kainé herself must be quite the sight for Anna right now. Face flushed, in her sheer nightgown with her nipples visible through the linen, unable to see anything but Anna. And of course, the tented fabric between her thighs, practically outlining her erect cock.

But if Anna expected a pleasant reception, she will be let down. Disgust and anger ripple through Kainé like tiny cracks in porcelain. A fragile doll, about to shatter. If her own trauma wasn't already enough to smash her budding trust, then corruption and caustic desire ensured it. Of course. Of course. She half-laughs, half-sobs, violently swatting Anna's hand away. ]

So that's what I am, huh? [ She feels like she's falling, ugly memories reaching up from the depths to meet her as she tumbles down. What she says next as almost sing-song as those old wounds force themselves out from her lips. ] Wow, who fucking knew such a pretty girl has a big cock! I heard if you feed her and put a roof over her head, she'll be your whore! Oh, Kainé, you're so much bigger than my husband!

[ Unable to hold back her rage any longer, her fist slams into Anna's gut, not even caring how her hard chassis splits her knuckles and sends ripples of pain up her arm. It's trivial as far as her present agonies go. Nothing burns hotter than betrayed love. ]

I look like her, don't I? Or do I act like her? Either way, you just had to use me.

[hauntedsavior]

[anna reels. first at kainé's words, then at her fist. anna never said any of that. she never said any of the things that her roommate is accusing her of, but the utter shock—betrayal? no, she feels like the one who betrayed someone here—at getting hit like that curls her body inward and staggers her backwards. she looks up and can't say anything with the wind knocked out of her like this, and her eye can't even focus on any of the other thoughts she has about kainé as reality comes crashing in.]

[it's a good thing she's already gasping for breath because it's the parts about rose that would draw it straight from her lungs. it's not right, is it? it isn't. it can't be right. it can't all be because of rose. but inside her she already knows it is, she knows that kainé has known the truth for too long. she knows that, outside of her own idiotic mind, the fantasy she's created for herself where this plan actually worked, there's so many different layers of reality that she can't comprehend. she can't even begin to understand it.]

[but that's all... below the surface right now. her breath is returning to her and her eye narrows, but despite what her every instinct is telling her, she holds herself back. she doesn't strike back even if she'd have every right to. do it, hisses a voice of judgment inside her that she forces herself to silence.]

Who the fuck said any of that? [she can't talk about the more serious things yet. she doesn't know the words to use and can't trust her instincts.] I didn't do any of this to fuck you! I'm not using you, I just give a shit about you!

[unfortunately, none of this is coming with an apology for what she'd literally just said. not yet, at least. and it's not going to come until her head is a little more clear.]

[foulhussy]

[ Kainé does not flee. Nor, for all her sudden manic fury, does she strike again. She only draws back, pressing herself against the opposite wall and slumping down. She just stares into Anna with those intense gold eyes, boring into her, as if trying to strip away the layers of perceived deception. Much to Kainé's disgust, her body is still aroused, the kind of fevered impulse that wouldn't let her go. It's a kind of agony all its own, and one that had come back with a vengeance in recent days. Before the curse, she hadn't even minded it, but now...

Now it dredges up the shadows of memories and feelings that she'd rather leave buried. The blood of shades. Jeering voices, tearing hands. A ragged tear where something important once fit—

And she's so pale. And the scent of flowers is as strong as ever. For a moment, Anna can hear the far off sound of a bell. How did she think this was ever going to be okay? ]

You dirty goddamn liar. You give a shit about who you see through me. [ A quiet, jagged sob. ] You'd have left me to rot if I didn't look like her.

[ Anna really is the worst. Just wanting a toy to play with, so she could live in the scattered remnants of a happier past. Because Kainé understood that, that desperate clinging to happier memories, never letting go or moving forward, she hates this woman for using that to hurt her. ]

You almost had me fooled.

[hauntedsavior]

[no. no, this can't be what's happening. she can't be staring down kainé like this, and that damned sob cuts through her chest and pierces the black box inside her like it's trying to cause a nuclear reaction. a black feather falls from her back, flutters to the ground as the anguish wells up inside her. this isn't what she wanted. this isn't how this was supposed to go.]

[it's her fault, as always. she can't let go of the past. she can't let go of when things were better for her, before her life changed forever. before rose walked out of her life, before her body turned into this. this machine that barely feels like she owns it on her worst days. it's her fault that kainé is looking like this. it's welling up inside her. she has to confess. she has to confess what her roommate already knows. hasn't she already hurt herself enough? her fist clenches.]

Don't you dare fucking say that! I didn't even see her in you until you already said yes! [this isn't helping. why isn't it helping. why can't she find the right words to make this better? why don't they exist? why is she the one who's going to start crying soon?] Believe whatever the fuck you want, but I asked you to live here because I care about you, Kainé.

[not for any other reason. not for any other reason. it can't go back to the beginning like this. she has to be right. she has to be a good person. she can't lose this, too. her words are sort of coming back to her. she's on the defensive now and it scares her worse than any battle ever has.]

'Cause when I asked you to move in with me, it wasn't because of her. I saw myself in you.

a

[loopsbian]

[ when anna texts at two in the morning - waking satoko up, needless to say - she's of two minds. on the one hand, anna is a confidant and a friend, or at least as close as someone so much younger could possibly be, and it wouldn't do to leave a friend in need. on the other, it is two in the morning and satoko is greatly tempted to pretend she saw nothing.

she gets up, of course, responding with a subdued: ]

Of course.
I'll be there soon.

[ they both live near one another - the same building, even. it's simplicity itself to retrace those familiar steps by now, even in the pitch black. she sneaks through her own bedroom; locks it with silent motions. and with hardly any further notice, she finds herself in front of anna's front door. she lifts her hand to the door-

-and hesitates. she has a roommate now, doesn't she? that woman with the white hair. it wouldn't do to wake her up. she moves quietly, slipping the spare key she's been given into the lock and undoing it with a single click.

and with that, she pulls the door open. no need to fret - after all, she's done this before. this time will be no different. ]

[foulhussy]

[ Kainé hasn't been sleeping very well lately. It's all in little intervals of a few hours, when she can get it. Sometimes she'll just lie awake, but she prefers to keep herself occupied. She's never had the chance to read a book before coming here, so she's been making valiant attempts, which aren't proving easy with how agitated that damn curse is making her, making the words slide right off of her mind.

It's been hell. The agony fills her to the brim, and her mood is an unstable see-saw, tilting this direction or that. She's been spending less time here lately, so it's rather unfortunate that Satoko has to pay her visit while a paranoid, highly agitated Kainé is in, her sharp senses just barely managing to make out the sound of footsteps, and the key in the lock. She's so afraid that what she has is falling apart under the weight her own fucked-up, broken psyche, or that Anna doesn't really care about her at all. But nevertheless, she will protect that woman with her life.

The moment the door opens, Satoko finds herself with a fist slamming into her solar plexus with incredible strength, courtesy of a white-haired woman utterly delirious with fury. ]

Good morning, bitch! How do you wanna die!?

[ She'll protect the one she loves. Even though she always fails to do so, she is worth less than nothing if she doesn't give everything to that. ]

[loopsbian]

[ the door opens, and satoko goes down like a sack of potatoes.

still in her pajamas like this, it's hard to process just what's happened. her mind immediately focuses on the most pressing concerns: breathing, or at least trying to, and pushing herself to her hands and knees. when she does manage to draw a breath in, it's to say- ]

I'd prefer- [ a muffled, wet gasp. she coughs out, a surprising amount of blood tinging the spit that lands on the ground. ] I'd prefer not to, if it's all the same. Do you always greet your guests like a wild dog?

[foulhussy]

[ If Satoko expects those words to sway the furious woman in front of her, she's sorely mistaken. Kainé shows obvious signs of corruption: she smells of flowers, her skin is marble-pale, and when she moves, the distant sound of bells can be heard. ]

Get the fuck out of here!

[ She doesn't even seem to acknowledge that the girl visiting lives in the same building. She is an intruder, and she must be driven out. She bends down to grab Satoko by her collar, dragging her back up to knee her in the gut. ]

1/2

[loopsbian]

[ satoko doesn't know enough about corruption to understand any of it. she doesn't know kaine well to begin with; for all she knows, this is just how the other woman is most days.

not that she has any reason to care. ]

With pleasure.

[ she raises her fingers up, presses them together - wheezes as kaine's leg makes impact, coughing out more blood - and snaps. ]

2/2

[loopsbian]

[ she finds herself staring at a closed door, key in hand. she's not one to repeat her actions; a failure is a failure. so this time, she unlocks it with a painstaking slowness; when she grips the handle, it is to slowly, slowly, turn it. and finally- finally! she moves to pull the door open, one painstaking millimeter at a time.

assuming she makes it that far, of course. ]

[foulhussy]

[ Ah, but Kainé, in her agitated state, can easily hear the slow creak of the door. As it opens, there's the sound of her throwing open the door to her room, swiftly darting through the small apartment to the door. ]

Good morning, fuckwad! How do you wanna die!?

[ And she's fast. There's a delay of about a half-second from last time, but Kainé's foot slams into her kneecap with terrible force. ]

1/2

[loopsbian]

[ that warning is all satoko gets - and even if it's almost enough, almost isn't good enough. ]

I don't, so calm down and-

[ the door bursts the rest of the way open, and kaine kicks forward with an unspeakable force. satoko's knee buckles, then snaps backwards; she shrieks, grabbing at the doorjamb as she forces out: ]

You worm!

[ she doesn't even try to reason - not with her leg bent backwards. she pushes two trembling fingers together and snaps. ]

2/2

[loopsbian]

[ that woman can hear the front door. perhaps she can even hear satoko's approach. rather than stealth, trickery must be employed.

her setup is simple: a trap, controlled remotely, aimed to crash into anna's front door. when satoko gives the rope a hard yank, it will fall, causing all kinds of clatter. and that's all the time she should need to quickly open the back window, vault in, close it, and run to anna's room.

the plan isn't flawless. truth be told, she doesn't particularly expect it to work this time. but she can at least test it like this.

she tugs the rope - there is a crash and a clatter, several pots and pans falling against the door at once. and satoko, not giving herself time to think, forces the window open and leaps in. ]

[foulhussy]

[ As expected, Kainé is suitably distracted by the clattering of the trap, that she immediately rushes out to investigate it. But that doesn't mean that she can't hear other things. Her head snaps back as soon as the window opens, and in a few swift steps, she's upon Satoko again. ]

Good morning, shithead! You wanna die tonight!?

[ Before Satoko even has the chance to regain her balance, a fist cracks across her jaw. ]

[loopsbian]

[ her jaw doesn't break and her teeth don't come out - somehow. she staggers back, collapsing against the window before pushing herself up.

she doesn't snap, this time. ]

I have words for your roommate. [ the word's spit out - quite literally, judging by the red flecks on satoko's chin. ] Let me through, and I'll be on my way.

[ she's willing to take this loss if this stupid harlot gets out of the way.

her fingers remain, ready to snap. she's not an idiot. ]

[foulhussy]

[ She grabs Satoko by the throat, pushing her up against the wall. She isn't choking her at least, but not an ounce of that violent tension has been released. The way she says "words" allays none of Kainé's concerns. ]

You came in through the goddamn window and you just wanna talk, alone? Go to hell!

[ She drives her fist into Satoko's gut. ]

[loopsbian]

[ the fist to her gut hurts, hurts in a way she's more familiar with than she'd prefer to be. internal bleeding of some sort, most likely. terrific. whether it's blood magic or something else entirely, she's not leaving this loop alive either. ]

I came in through the window because you'd break my legs any other way, you dolt!

[ she's not in any position to fight back. but at this point, she wants something. anything to have up on the other woman. so she draws her head back, slamming it forward with all the hatred her heart can muster.

(it's more than the other woman might be expecting, at least.) ]

2/2

[loopsbian]

[ she heaves a deep sigh in front of anna's doorway. originally, she'd intended to grab that gun of hers. not to leave kaine dead, of course. not in any timeline that mattered. but...

well. a few shots would have made her feel better, at least. but after that look, she doesn't feel quite up to it anymore. so she's doing anna a favor, just like she promised - she just doesn't intend to let anna know what the actual favor was.

she raises her hand and knocks, clean and polite. far too loud for this time of night, but she's beyond caring. ]

[foulhussy]

[ Kainé hasn't been sleeping very well lately. It's all in little intervals of a few hours, when she can get it. Sometimes she'll just lie awake, but she prefers to keep herself occupied. She's never had the chance to read a book before coming here, so she's been making valiant attempts, which aren't proving easy with how agitated that damn curse is making her, making the words slide right off of her mind.

It's been hell. The agony fills her to the brim, and her mood is an unstable see-saw, tilting this direction or that. She's been spending less time here lately, but for better or worse, she's here tonight. She opens the door partially, peeking through the crack. ]

Yeah? You trying to wake the goddamn dead?

[ A scowl is etched into Kainé's features. She's not congenial at the best of times, and right now, even a stranger at the door is enough to have her on a knife's edge. But that's all. She stays inside, and her voice is relatively level. ]

[loopsbian]

Hardly.

[ there's a cold, clipped irritation to satoko's voice, one hardly befitting her body or stature. she won't kill kaine, for anna's sake; she certainly won't be nice about it, though. ]

Your roommate is lonely, and asked me to comfort her. [ she doesn't bother to elaborate. ] Go ask her yourself, if that's what you want.

[foulhussy]

[ ...

Well it isn't as though Kainé blames Anna for that. She's been pretty shitty company lately. For the first few weeks, they'd seemed to get along, but... well, it doesn't matter. Anna needs something that Kainé could probably never provide, and she deserves to have it. Hell, why get jealous over something that stupid? After a few seconds, she nods. Anger slides away into something else. ]

Sure.

[ A sudden change, but that's how it goes lately. She steps away from the door to knock on Anna's room. There is nothing lonely or desolate in her voice, not at all. After all, who would want to include something like Kainé in whatever this is? It'd just make it worse. ]

Somebody's here for you.

[hauntedsavior]

[that didn't take as long as anna was expecting, but kainé knocking on her door is a bit of a surprise. she'd expected satoko to insist on handling everything herself. there's something playing at the fringes of her memory, too, if she thinks too hard about it. like deja vu. she grunts as she pushes off her bed, and the sound of her footsteps gets closer to the door.]

[when she opens it, she does look kind of miserable, but in an obviously forced way. she doesn't know what good hiding her emotions from kainé will do, but she's in the habit of it now and it's hard to break it.]

Thanks, K. [she steps outside and keeps her voice low.] This is my friend Satoko. She might come over sometimes. Hope that's not weird. Satoko, this is my roommate Kainé. She washed up last month.

[this feels weird in a way that she can't shake. but maybe they'll all be adults about it.]