February & March Catch-All

[spiritwalks]

Who: Vyng spiritwalks and various others
What: Catch-All for February. Closed Prompts (in comments) for now, but am open to adding more!
When: Various
Where: Various

Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable

Notes:

- Style veers wildly between prose and brackets. Just choose whatever style feels good when responding, and I'll match it ♥

- Feel free to hit me up at jackets or Jansen#8997 for plotting and general chatter...or if you want a starter of your own!

Comments

[spiritwalks]

I acknowledge my eagerness to let go of that attachment means I've still got a ways to go. The more forced it is, the less attainable it becomes. And in some cases, that eagerness has done more harm than good.

[His title. His name. His shapeshifting. Each sacrifice much greater than the last...until he allowed his own self-loathing to consume him, along with all the creatures who trusted him with their wellbeing.]

[jedies]

[ he nods slowly. to let go, to reach a certain enlightenment is the ultimate goal of a jedi. but not at the expense of their purpose and their very being.

"luminous beings are we, not this crude matter"

and yet, cultural traditions, nuances, histories are kept alive in the jedi temple. no one forsake the clothing of their planets or the customs of their people simply because they've been adopted into the jedi. ]

Freewheeling can be just as dangerous as stagnation.

[spiritwalks]

I have family and purpose. Trading my roots for those things sounded good at the time.

[Maybe he would have eventually returned to his homeland. And if he'd done that, facing his father would have been unavoidable. But that is no longer Vyng's journey to make. Trench is his home now.]

[jedies]

What purpose would that be?

[spiritwalks]

You know, it really depends on when you catch me.

[A flippant answer on the surface, maybe. Vyng's shrug certainly doesn't help. With the same breezy attitude, he starts counting with his free hand, a finger for each example:]

When I'm a bonfire on the beach? My purpose is to keep people warm and consume whatever garbage they throw into me.

When I'm a tree? I hang out. Soak up some sun. Make fresh oxygen. Birds might park on my branches. Or they might not. Who can say? Either way's fine.

When I'm a rock? My purpose is to be a rock. 'Cause, like...a rock isn't trying to be anything other than what it's trying to be lately. You know? I don't need a purpose to justify my existence. I'm a rock, man. I chill.

When I'm a dad, I protect and care for my family. I cook them dinner. Give them lots of veggies. Make sure they don't get a case of the runs. Feed them medicine when they do. Offer hugs. Drop a storm on religious zealots who're chasing them. [As one does, obviously.]

[Vyng's open palm faces upward now, and he meets Obi-Wan's gaze with the ease of somebody who wears change like a fuzzy sweater they're willing to share.]

I'm the Spiritwalker. My purpose is...to be. Whatever others need in that moment. [His other hand, still threaded with Obi-Wan's, warmly grips tighter for a moment.] That's what I become.




[Aaand he could've just said that last bit from the start, he realizes with a quiet laugh. There would've been way less rambling. But that's fine. He got there eventually. Kind of.]

[jedies]

[ obi-wan hums. ]

And what of the things you wish to be?

[spiritwalks]

See, I don't like to be ambitious. I'm more of an in-the-moment kind of guy.

[jedies]

[ wryly. ]

I'm not sure if what I said counts as ambitious.

[spiritwalks]

My standards are very low.

[jedies]

You have standards?

[spiritwalks]

I'll be honest, I'm running a pretty steep deficit here.

[jedies]

It does seem a little . . . free-wheeling as they say.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng works on his own stuff too, obviously. Obi-Wan knows that. He doesn't feel the need to point it out.

Of course, his natural inclination is to avoid confronting his past. He already spent years wandering across the land in exile, alone — picking up various odd jobs, and drifting onto the next town when he inevitably grew restless — with the direction of a rudderless boat lost at sea. Finding himself in others is far preferable to that, because at least love is a powerful force for growth and change. At the same time, Vyng freely acknowledges the damage he's done to himself and others. By kicking the proverbial can down the road, he's still letting the past own him.

Now it's just a matter of sorting through the pieces and making sense of it all. But progress is rarely linear. He's not holding himself to any timetable. He can't even say what recovery looks like at this point.]

Well, I find purpose in taking care of others. And my connections help me fulfill that purpose. That's all I need. I roll with the punches as they come. The rest works itself out.

It's the same for you, right?

[jedies]

[ obi-wan pauses to consider that. ]

We were more like that in the past. Since the war, we haven't been as . . . helpful as we could be. We're also beholden to the Senate and the Republic.

[spiritwalks]

Politicians told you what to do?

[jedies]

We are still citizens of the Republic. They do have jurisdiction. We have certain latitude but with the war . . .

[ he trails off for a moment. ]

The lines got blurry.

[spiritwalks]

Anything you did...you had to clear with them first, huh. Or face some serious blowback.

[jedies]

Precisely.

I'm not terribly fond of politicians myself, but considering our Temple resides in the capital city . . . we don't have much choice.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng's gaze shifts to his drink — a concoction made from tomato sauce and horseradish. Although it's not quite the same, it resembles a certain delicacy from back home...and one of the few things he enjoyed while stuck at his father's court.]

I know how that feels. There's no winning. You just do what you need to get through the day.

[jedies]

[ his smile is faint, wry around the edges. ]

If we don't, people will die. If we do . . . perhaps we can mitigate the damage. But we're spread thin and there are less Jedi every day.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng gives a low, sympathetic hum.]

That must weigh on you. Even here.

[jedies]

It does.

[ he sighs. ]

One of my masters said there is no winning a war. And he may be right.

[spiritwalks]

[He wonders if Obi-Wan knows each Sleeper is a living hypothetical, a divergence from their original timeline. That they have no choice but to leave things up to their counterpart back in their old world. Because even if it's their time to go, they'll simply slip back into the water, into the primordial forces of the Pthumerian Ocean, and on to another existence nobody can fully comprehend yet.

But then Vyng recalls his mother. Kind eyes, wavy hair, soft fur. He sits with the lingering pain his father's cruel actions left in their wake. Remembers the embodiment of his own self-loathing looming over him at the Summoning Stones. And he realizes...it doesn't matter.

Everyone is formed by the components of their experiences. Those components don't lose significance just because they're in a new world.]

Maybe he is. Sounds like you've got the scars to prove it.

[jedies]

[ he gives a wan smile. so many battles, so many lives lost. many he's seen right before his eyes, many he's only heard about in cold, clinical reports. no one chooses to be a jedi for their strength and power. it's about peace and balance. to be in this position is anathema to everything they stand for.

but what else can they do? there are no good decisions to be made. no magical exit. ]

All of us have scars. Mine are no greater than anyone else's.

[spiritwalks]

And also no less worthy of acknowledgment. They're part of who you are. Just as my scars are part of me.