February & March Catch-All

[spiritwalks]

Who: Vyng spiritwalks and various others
What: Catch-All for February. Closed Prompts (in comments) for now, but am open to adding more!
When: Various
Where: Various

Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable

Notes:

- Style veers wildly between prose and brackets. Just choose whatever style feels good when responding, and I'll match it ♥

- Feel free to hit me up at jackets or Jansen#8997 for plotting and general chatter...or if you want a starter of your own!

Comments

[jedies]

It does seem a little . . . free-wheeling as they say.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng works on his own stuff too, obviously. Obi-Wan knows that. He doesn't feel the need to point it out.

Of course, his natural inclination is to avoid confronting his past. He already spent years wandering across the land in exile, alone — picking up various odd jobs, and drifting onto the next town when he inevitably grew restless — with the direction of a rudderless boat lost at sea. Finding himself in others is far preferable to that, because at least love is a powerful force for growth and change. At the same time, Vyng freely acknowledges the damage he's done to himself and others. By kicking the proverbial can down the road, he's still letting the past own him.

Now it's just a matter of sorting through the pieces and making sense of it all. But progress is rarely linear. He's not holding himself to any timetable. He can't even say what recovery looks like at this point.]

Well, I find purpose in taking care of others. And my connections help me fulfill that purpose. That's all I need. I roll with the punches as they come. The rest works itself out.

It's the same for you, right?

[jedies]

[ obi-wan pauses to consider that. ]

We were more like that in the past. Since the war, we haven't been as . . . helpful as we could be. We're also beholden to the Senate and the Republic.

[spiritwalks]

Politicians told you what to do?

[jedies]

We are still citizens of the Republic. They do have jurisdiction. We have certain latitude but with the war . . .

[ he trails off for a moment. ]

The lines got blurry.

[spiritwalks]

Anything you did...you had to clear with them first, huh. Or face some serious blowback.

[jedies]

Precisely.

I'm not terribly fond of politicians myself, but considering our Temple resides in the capital city . . . we don't have much choice.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng's gaze shifts to his drink — a concoction made from tomato sauce and horseradish. Although it's not quite the same, it resembles a certain delicacy from back home...and one of the few things he enjoyed while stuck at his father's court.]

I know how that feels. There's no winning. You just do what you need to get through the day.

[jedies]

[ his smile is faint, wry around the edges. ]

If we don't, people will die. If we do . . . perhaps we can mitigate the damage. But we're spread thin and there are less Jedi every day.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng gives a low, sympathetic hum.]

That must weigh on you. Even here.

[jedies]

It does.

[ he sighs. ]

One of my masters said there is no winning a war. And he may be right.

[spiritwalks]

[He wonders if Obi-Wan knows each Sleeper is a living hypothetical, a divergence from their original timeline. That they have no choice but to leave things up to their counterpart back in their old world. Because even if it's their time to go, they'll simply slip back into the water, into the primordial forces of the Pthumerian Ocean, and on to another existence nobody can fully comprehend yet.

But then Vyng recalls his mother. Kind eyes, wavy hair, soft fur. He sits with the lingering pain his father's cruel actions left in their wake. Remembers the embodiment of his own self-loathing looming over him at the Summoning Stones. And he realizes...it doesn't matter.

Everyone is formed by the components of their experiences. Those components don't lose significance just because they're in a new world.]

Maybe he is. Sounds like you've got the scars to prove it.

[jedies]

[ he gives a wan smile. so many battles, so many lives lost. many he's seen right before his eyes, many he's only heard about in cold, clinical reports. no one chooses to be a jedi for their strength and power. it's about peace and balance. to be in this position is anathema to everything they stand for.

but what else can they do? there are no good decisions to be made. no magical exit. ]

All of us have scars. Mine are no greater than anyone else's.

[spiritwalks]

And also no less worthy of acknowledgment. They're part of who you are. Just as my scars are part of me.

[jedies]

Yes. I've been through my fair share.

[ it's not like he downplays it but trauma isn't a competition. he's lived it, born it and now, he moves past it, day by day. ]

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng has been guilty of turning trauma into a competition in the past. But not these days. Instead, he views other people's trauma the same way he sees the cracks in his staff: Pieces of history, rather than flaws that need to be hidden or diminished. Seeing himself in such a charitable light is a work in progress, but he likes to believe he's getting there. At the very least, he doesn't feel any shame over his physical scars.]

You also bare those scars freely to others. Especially if there's a purpose or some other connection to be found in it.

[jedies]

[ he smiles again. ]

Why wouldn't I? There's no shame in it.

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng mirrors his smile.]

You're right. There isn't. Beauty can be found in the cracks of our hearts...if we look. And if we allow others to do the same.

[jedies]

That is how it should be.

[spiritwalks]

You said the war's made you less helpful. But it seems like you've found the space to lean into your original purpose again here in Trench.

[jedies]

[ he shakes his head. ]

I'm not sure. It hasn't quite . . . clicked yet.

Perhaps I'm chasing the shadow of what I once was.

[spiritwalks]

What would "clicking" feel like?

[jedies]

[ he chuckles. ]

If I knew that, I wouldn't be framing it like that.

[spiritwalks]

What feels off, then?

Is it the war hanging in the back of your mind, so it's harder to feel fully present? Or is it, like...you're so used to dealing with interplanetary conflict, that it's taking some time to shift gears into smaller-town problems?

[jedies]

That might be part of it.

[ he exhales. ]

The rest might be Anakin.