(Darth) Maul (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
survivalthroughhate) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deercountry2022-02-11 09:07 pm
survivalthroughhate) wrote in deercountry2022-02-11 09:07 pm
Catch-all for Maul; Love is not the opposite of hate.
Who: survivalthroughhate and you!
What: open & closed threads
When: Catch-all for February and March
Where: All over Trench
Content Warnings: Event warning for March, graphic description of broken nails
All starters in the comments, threads are marked open and closed! Will be adding more as the months goes on!
survivalthroughhate and you!What: open & closed threads
When: Catch-all for February and March
Where: All over Trench
Content Warnings: Event warning for March, graphic description of broken nails
All starters in the comments, threads are marked open and closed! Will be adding more as the months goes on!
Catacombs Prompts - Throughout March
Maul, mainly by design, doesn't know all that much about the Patron Pthumerians. They're manipulative assholes as far as he can tell and the only one he really likes at all is Cynthia. Not even his patron Mariana does he feel much affection for. They're too alike for him to really enjoy her presence in the waves of the beach. So he's not really sure what's supposed to be going on here.
"Do you understand what order they are supposed to go in?" He asks the person he's with. His eyes flick over as the door shuts and blood starts to seep into the room. Well, that doesn't look good at all. "Let's get done with this quickly. I've already almost died in a room filling with blood before and have no desire to experience it again." Really, he's lived through some weird shit after being in two Pthumerian-run towns.
II. 'Til Death Do Us Part
It isn't long before Maul sees figures from his past. There aren't too many Maul cares too much about to think of and most of those be already does are right here in Trench. But there are a few he's still missing. ".....Mother?" He asks in a choked voice, staring up at the tall figure that watches him, two lightsaber wounds in her chest and chalk-white skin with deep black tattoos flaking off in a gruesome fashion. The last he time he saw her face, she'd been one of the Wastes in Deerington, a small, sad, pathetic figure for someone who had once been the greatest of the Nightsisters. He'd been unable to have any last words with her then. Too late, always too late to help his family. He can't help but stare at her now, unable to move, wanting one last look at the woman who had loved him so deeply before he has to stop gazing at her forever.
There's also a figure that might come upon Maul and whoever he's with, another Zabrak that bears a startling resemblance to Maul himself despite the different skin colors and tattoo patterns. They've got the same sort of delicate features and general face shape, though there's a gentle look in the other Zabrak's eyes that the Sith Lord has never possessed. It's not someone he ever met in life but Maul's had enough experiences with this place to know who that is. It's Feral, Maul's youngest brother, the one sacrificed to make sure he'd be brought home. His neck is clearly broken as his form of death and Maul tries hard not to focus on that, knowing exactly what had caused it. He's never wanted to question his mother's motivations too deeply, why she'd allow one son to die in exchange so that her eldest and clear favorite could be brought home. Mother Talzin's motivations, as always, were always her own. All Maul knows is that there was another family member he's never gotten the chance to meet, and as always with his family, it was his fault they were dead.
He doesn't want to look at them, doesn't want to speak, so it'll be up to his companion to get him to start talking about his emotions. For someone who tends to wear them on his sleeve, Maul is most reluctant to talk about his feelings right now.
III. As Above, So Below
Maul's always been very susceptible to the mental effects of the various challenges that come upon the Sleepers every month, much moreso than anything physical he has to endure. As with most things, it's a product of growing up the way he did, living with Sidious who broke him down mentally and taught him to shrug off anything physically thrown his way, even up to getting sliced in half. So this crippling sense of anxiety and the pathetic nature within him immediately bubbles forth to the surface. No matter that he would rather die than tell whoever he is with these things, he just can't seem to help himself.
"I'm just a selfish, hateful person. I use people as I see fit and then discard them when they're no longer worth anything to me. And no matter how that I try to do better, I just fall into my old habits because I am afraid to be something other than a Dark Lord of the Sith." Oh, he could go on and on, but that will do for starters.
As Above...
She bit her lip and closed her eyes. It was Maul. She could say this in front of him. "I'm not much better than you, you know. I just don't kill people is all. I use them. When it's convenient. When I want to forget. Staying loyal to Minako, waiting, months of it... it's been hard. I just want the easy way out. I want to be free. I don't judge others so I don't have to be judged, and sometimes? It's really hurt people. And I think I get away with it because I smile more, and when I can't get what I want, I just move on."
Oh, that didn't sound great coming out of her mouth, did it? It sounded like bile and pain.
no subject
"It's all because of fear," Maul said. The words just kept spilling out of him, unbidden. He could tell it was that black hole full of despair which was causing this. "I say I want to do better, and part of me does, but most of me is afraid to change. I want to stay on the path I have always been on, to not have to deal with the consequences of my actions. I just expect everyone to leave me eventually anyway, so I push them away before that can happen, hurting both myself and them in the process."
no subject
"And here you are, a whole group of people refusing to entirely give up on you, frustrated, but still listening as you try again. And part of you knows that without actively pushing them away, you will inevitably change. And for all that your view of the Force you speak of entails chaos, emotion, passion, forces that might seem like they are of change? It is hide-bound. To leave it means to stray into the unknown, and the unknown is vulnerability. Darth Maul is never vulnerable, not truly." She said it in a tone that was meant to convey that she understood what he said. A confirmation, not a judgment. She nodded, her arms folded. "I can assure you that you aren't truly vulnerable to stand with them, to let them help, but Fear is a different beast entirely. Convincing fear to be silent is difficult, especially for one as passionate as you."
"I...want you to walk your path. That is what I'd usually say isn't it? Freedom to do as you wish. but it just lets me get away with never taking a stance. The eternal easy route. As long as I'm fine, everything is fine." She scowled. Hers might not have sounded as bad as some, but the spinelessness of it all, it had become galling. "I... think I have to admit that being quite as free-willed as I am has hurt a lot of people. You have a lot of potential, Maul. And I think it's time I finally say something."
"Stop being afraid. It will take time. But accept that this change is inevitable, and it can be for your good. This world? It can be a home for you if you let it. They can give you a home if you don't push them away. And some of them, of us, very much want you to be able to have a home." though some would never forgive at this point. "I want you to have a home, but if you continue only destroying what you love, it probably will be ashes eventually, and I'd prefer you dine at the table, not in ashes."