deercountry | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Ezra + Obi-wan. Ezra+Michael, Ezra+Ariadne
What: closed prompt in comments.
When: Evening of 2/25, and also general end of the month
Where: Obi-wan's house in Cassandra, Michael's shop, Rooftops of Trench

Content Warnings: Blood, offscreen deaths, aftermath of mass battle, grief, some corruption, others in tags

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[That first thrust, he manages to block, with the minimum amount of movement, as is typical of Soresu. And he manages to keep going like that, for a while. He's clearly focused less on 'winning' and more on executing the form with as close to a technically perfect defense as he can.

Sometimes, when he isn't drawing heavily on the Force, his physical endurance flags much faster than he likes. Here, it's really his mental endurance that really starts to flounder, trying to stick closely to the classical form rather than moving almost entirely on instinct.

When he finally fails to move faster enough, he goes completely still for a beat, and then slowly lowers his saber. But he's smiling, anyway.]

[ obi-wan lowers his hand as well, deactivating the saber. ]

Not bad at all. There are very few people who can keep up with me.

[He flips his own saber off, and replies, voice warm with affection and a hint of pride - not in himself. He's thinking of that month in the Temple, watching Ben go against politely curious knights and masters. Ezra'd had to re-calibrate his own standards against a much larger sample size, and quickly realized his new teacher really was a first class duelist.]

I know. I think that was some kind of personal new record for me.

[Sure, there'd been bouts with Ben that lasted longer, but particularly between master and padawan not every lesson is going all out.]

Is it?

Then you should be proud.

[He grins wider.]

Yeah.

...still need to drill muscle memory more.

Such things take time and you have time.

[His grin fades a little.]

I hope so. [Then he shakes his head.]

You're right.[He's alive. He has family with him, even. That's a far better position than he'd expected to be in before life took him away from the galaxy. He can eliminate uncertainly about how long he'll stay here. And that's be true anywhere, really, not matter their special circumstances.]

I'll keep at it.

[ hmm. ]

Very wise of you.

Thank you. [That's sincere. And he's pretty sure Obi-wan is being sincere, too, but-]

But I have the weirdest feeling we're talking past each other somehow? [And he did not like it. Especially jarring after they'd flowed so well together, only minutes before.]

[ obi-wan pauses again. ]

How so?

[He clips his saber hilt to his belt as he's trying to figure how to explain.]

Like, I'm puzzling you, but you don't want to ask directly, maybe?

Maybe I'm trying too hard to be careful what I say, too.

[ obi-wan hums, considering that. he wouldn't dismiss it out of hand. that's not who he is. ]

Or you might be reading too much into it. Unless, of course, you want the teacher and a few more pointers? It is a mindset I need to slip into.

[He stiffens, because, yes, that was it. Or rather, he'd told himself her wasn't going to ask for the teacher, yet he didn't know how to read...not getting it.

He takes a breath.]

I see the issue and it's me reading into things. Differences. I'll sort it out.

Ezra.

There's no shame in asking for that. Nor do I mind. But I don't think it's something we formally discussed.

[Another breath.]

We haven't. Because I was kind of a mess over...temporal disconnects, when I got here and I needed to try to deal with that. Also, I didn't want to distract you from Anakin.

You're hardly a distraction, Ezra.

[ and he's not sure how he feels about that statement. that his life is funnelled into anakin and nothing else. ]

No, I...know. [His furrows.]

There were three of us who were padawan level and two force-sensitive babies in Temba and we...we managed ok. [Sure, they were all very tired sometimes - newborns are *exhausting* even with multiple adults around, but he'd never felt like he was a distraction there. So it's not a matter of divided attention, exactly.]

It's just. It's Anakin. And I know he's important to you, and I want him to be ok, too. I thought, if I couldn't figure out how to help, I could at least not make things harder. Not give him any reason to...to doubt you, or feel ignored, or for you to doubt that you'd done what you could for him-

[But clearly Anakin will do what he will do. So now Ezra feels a little foolish.]

[ obi-wan smiles faintly at that. ]

That's hardly your responsibility, is it? You are your own person, Ezra Bridger. You can't hold yourself back for Anakin.

[To which Ezra frowns.] It's not my responsibility in the sense that I can't make him feel or do anything. I'm still responsible in the sense I'd rather act with compassion, in general.

And he can say I'm not his family all he wants, but we have enough family in common I can't imagine not counting him, at this point.

Besides, I really did need to try to get my own head on straight.

[ obi-wan hums. ]

Just be careful that you're not taking on too much.

[He nods.] you're welcome to tell me if you think you see me doing that, Master Kenobi.

Now. I don't know what Kanan's plans were for deciding when my apprenticeship was over. We were always making things up as we went along. [He doesn't think the plan was death. Until suddenly it was.]

And then I'd hoped the Force would keep Ben and I together long enough for us both to feel ready. [He shakes his head sadly.]

So. I would be honored if you would teach me. But I never wanted you to feel backed into an obligation.

Teaching is not an obligation, Ezra. It's a privilege. One I'm always grateful to enact.

[He knew Ben liked teaching. That it hadn't entirely without emotional pitfalls, given Anakin's Fall, but mostly Ben had taken joy in it. And he hadn't imagined that was really different for Obi-wan here and now. But just because some version of him somewhere made a choice didn't mean Obi-wan should be influenced by that. Such has been Ezra's thinking.

Although at the moment, it seemed pretty ungracious to imply that Obi-wan wasn't speaking freely and honestly.

Another breath, in and out, and Ezra nods, a real smile creeping back across his face.]

Ok. I trust you.

[With some humor-] I think we're pretty deep in making it up as we go along territory. Now what?

Well, for now, why don't you run through some offensive forms? I realize you don't want to rely on it but mastery of both is just as important.

[He nods, body language loosening up into chipper and feeling back on more solid ground. A teacher has to assess whether their student is, after all.]

Sure. [He backs up several steps to give himself room, and ignited his lightsaber again, to drop into the opening stance for Ataru and starts running through sets of katas. It really is the somewhat modified form Anakin made recordings of for Ahsoka, because well. That's what he'd had to study.]