deercountry | Head Full of Doubt

[ Touya's display isn't new to him. He's used to guys walking around naked in the locker room. Though, if the situation feels a little out of the norm, well... there's a reason why he feels the need to look away to give him some privacy.

At least, up until he asks for a mirror, at which point his eyes flick to him, then the counter, and back to him again. Dammit, Touya! Will you just let him help you! ]

You don't need one.

[ Screw privacy. He's going to walk up to him and grab that staple gun. ]

I'll do it.

[none of those guys are related to him. nor have been "dead" for almost ten years. nor have been looking at him from the top of a shrine for all those years. touya's not about to pester him over it, though does take some sardonic amusement that shouto's averting his gaze.

he's inspecting the staple gun, not bothering to face shouto while the guy starts going back and forth with his head. but it's when he suddenly encroaches on his space and grabs the gun-

that dabi abruptly snaps his hand out and grabs his younger brother by the throat. hard eyes glare at him, irises almost glowing from the fire behind them.]

Ya want my blood all over ya? [lips curl in the threatening snarl (fully expecting that leopard to attack.] Don't go thinkin you can waltz into my life and start actin all brotherly and friendly with me. I've let ya get away with plenty already, Shouto.

[introduction to this place, the weird candy game, network talking, a visit to the apothecary, even finding this house and letting him stay in the room while he works. but dabi has his limits.]

Mirror. [and lets him go.]

[ That boy in the picture is a ghost. Shouto never knew him. Wasn't allowed to. What few glimpses he caught of him were from afar, snuck in while Endeavor wasn't looking. Before he knew it, he was gone. Never to be seen again. Never spoken of without arguments breaking out, he became another taboo in his world. More of a feeling of longing and loss than anything real.

Dabi is real.

His Touya.

Not the ghost he knew, but the one he knows. Whatever hatred his brother harbors for him, it's better than the nothing he got from his ghost. So, when he lashes out, grabbing him by the throat. That too is real. Tangible. Not a ghost.

For that reason, there's no immediate attack from his omen when he's threatened. Tension thrums through him as he grabs at the hand holding him to ease some of the pressure but doesn't back down. ]

I won't... get it on me.

Edited 2022-04-08 07:07 (UTC)

[what shouto feels isn't his concern. the kid grew up without him and touya grew up without him. only this presence in his life that was meant to replace him, rob him of his existence, and by proving his superiority over him, crush his ambition to the point of surrendering and giving up. touya refused to allow that to happen, always held out hope he could force endeavor to look at him again, win back his attention with his improved power. if only he could *fill in the blank* enough, endeavor might...

but that never happened and the other half of his life was spent relying entirely on himself. tending to his injuries, living on the streets, surviving amongst the darkness of their world. he didn't need anyone else's help (some exceptions forced) then and wasn't about to start now. not like he let others in the league doctor him either.

there's no attack, no lashing out, not even an attempt to pull his hand away despite how shouto grabs at him. the look emblazoned on his face without flickering, touya squeezes once, then releases him with a silent snarl.]

Don't care. Ya can sit and watch. [that's all he's allowing.]

[ He grimaces under the pressure and his omen snarls in his head ready to strike when Dabi releases him. He falls back a step, hand going to his throat that will leave a bruise later. The blood starts flowing again and Shouto finds himself at a standstill.

Anyone else.. and the house would have been destroyed by fire or ice. But he stayed his hand because... You know why. Kizu makes an appearance hitting the ground between them. A buffer. She does not sit, but watches. He won't be allowed a second strike. ]

[dabi refuses to take his eyes away from shouto's own, meeting the mismatched pair without regret for his actions. perhaps even wanting to have done more. but with the warning give, and the omen once more reappearing, the eldest todoroki child returns his attention to the bath. shouto's been pushing him for a while. eventually he was going to snap.

the compromise is that he doesn't tell his brother to leave, nor does he attack him with his quirk. he can take that as he will. but with it passed, dabi lifts his arm and starts inspecting the staples around the lower part of his hand.]

Ya really are a nosy hero.

[ Shouto lets his arm drop from his throat while keeping his brother's gaze. Usually, it was Dabi who pushed him, and he who reacted. This role reversal was new for both of them. He should have expected this violent end. Dabi was not known for staying his hand. Still, he wouldn't know where to draw the line without pressing his luck.

Touya had inked it into his throat. ]

That's what heroes do.

Edited 2022-04-09 16:24 (UTC)

[touya picks up the tweezers from the tub floor and starts working one of the askew staples from the top of his wrist. has to tug it from the good skin first, not exactly surgical precision, but with a practiced enough hand he doesn't immediately start leaking blood. once that end's free, he wedges the tweezers under the one embedded in his scarred flesh and tugs it out with less care. what do his deadened nerves care about it?]

So what questions ya got?

[might as well pop that bubble.]

[ Kizu boldly breaks the truce and steps forward. She makes no attempt to interfere but makes a point of watching Dabi up close and personal while he works out the old staples and wedges in the new.

Shouto, for his part, keeps to that line and stays where he is, watching Touya work out the staple and rubs at his wrist in sympathy pains. ]

I...

[ His eyes jump to his brother's scarred face, not quite believing what he just heard, but he quickly recovers, resolve making him bold. ]

Are you going to hurt my classmates?

[he's not doing any new staples at the moment, working on loosening the older ones that need to be redone. normally he'd want to take a shower after doing this kind of surgery, but considering the blood problems, that'll have to be dealt with later.

the staple's out and dabi brushes his finger over the holes. the skin peels back slightly, showing some glistening flesh beneath it, even the faint shift of a tendon when he moves his fingers. if he bothered to undo all of his staples, it at least appears like he could roll his own arm up like a shirt sleeve. (luckily there's plenty still connecting his flesh with his muscle, so it's not that easy to skin him.)

looks painful, but he doesn't even seem to flinch from the actions.]

Get that ointment. The one with the blue wax.

[gonna have to treat this while he works on it. a frown plays on his lips as he looks at his skin, weighing on the options. the drain's stopped, but...]

Only if they ask for it.

[and starts working on the next one.]

[ A shiver runs down his back at the sight of the skin peeling off like layers. His thumb rubs down his wrist, not quite believing that he hasn't made a sound or face at the obvious pain he's inflicting on himself. So engrossed is he that he doesn't quite catch what Touya tells him, needing a moment to process the request before looking for the ointment.

Finding it on the counter, he moves to pick it up and joins Kizu, petting her right ear, needing that contact at the sight of his brother's indifference in the face of pain. It's distressing how easily he goes through the samples as if it's commonplace.

Nodding at the answer - he knows they won't (maybe Bakugou) - and hands him the opened container. ]

... Doesn't that... hurt?

[dabi doesn't bother repeating it, knowing shouto heard him and will get his mind back in his head soon enough. the next staple catches on his healthy skin and he frowns a little. this one's going to bleed. he can feel it already. like pulling a fishhook out of a fish, he has to hook the tweezers end under the metal, pull the skin "down" towards his wrist to give himself some slack, and then work the staple end out so he doesn't rip something taut. the hole wells blood immediately, but it's not going to gush or even drip for a bit. worse than a pinprick, but not as bad as a pencil stab.

the staple comes out of his discolored scar tissue easier and he drops it onto the tub floor with a gentle clink. then accepts the container with the none treated hand. not risking blood near the edge of the tub.]

Sometimes.

[he takes some gauze and after opening the ointment, puts the mouth against the cloth, inverts the two for a second to soak the circle, and then turns it back upright before setting the bottle down and dabbing the cloth over his injury.]

[ The well of blood sends all kinds of alarms ringing in his head. He takes a quick breath, holding it while trying not to panic. Touya's slow movements don't help his heart rate at all. He wants to reach forward and clean it himself, but the sting in his throat reminds him to wait for permission. ]

I can help.

[ He offers instead, hands itching to do something. ]

[the ointment bites, but it's nothing he hasn't dealt with before. what's important is to wipe the area clean and get the blood off until it starts to congeal and harden. at least that means it's been cleaned up. while that's going on, dabi turns his hand so he can check the underside of his wrist and heel of his hand, scanning over the other staples. three need to be replaced from immediate inspection. he never replaces all of them at once because that's waste.]

What'd that getcha last time?

[finally he takes the cloth away and starts working on some other fasteners. but eventually does relent.]

Put the staples in the gun.

[ Muscles taut from inaction, he feels like an arrow finally let loose. He heads for the counter and picks up both gun and staples before returning back to his station next to Kizu. Quietly, he fills up the gun with the staples before closing it up and checking it's working properly, short of actually firing the thing. When he's done, he creates a pillar of ice and sets it on top within Touya's reach. The action gives him an idea and he goes back to the counter to pick up the rest of the supplies which he sets on the ice for easy access.

Task complete he makes another pillar, smaller than the other by half, and settles down for the long haul taking up Kizu's space who moves to accommodate him, no longer set on watching Dabi's every move, she takes her cues from him now that his confidence has returned. ]

How often do you change them?

Edited 2022-04-10 03:14 (UTC)

[dabi eyes him from the side while shouto works.]

Ya did that pretty easy. They stick ya in the hospital for lessons?

[strange to think his little brother's so decent with a staple gun he can do it without questions. not that it's entirely complex, but his dexterity at least suggests he's had some experience with the kind of tool.

an ice pillar... oh, for the gun. and then for everything else dabi put on the counter. damn, this guy really wants to make himself useful. whatever. he lets shouto do that while he continues checking his staples. there are ultimately seven on his left hand he needs to deal with. after taking them all out, he cleans the areas, bending his hand and wrist a few times to test the tension and pull of the remaining staples. two are weak... dabi notes them, but doesn't change them right now.]

Whenever I need to.

I was the field medic for our team during the strike against the League.

[ A natural choice, since he often gravitated towards that role when there was no one to fight. His right side helped with inflammation, his left sterilized anything. Ice and fire made clean water for washing wounds. He started incorporating medical supplies into his costume on his own long before the strike against the League. It's a natural progression that he was well suited for. If he wasn't so staunchly set on the path of being a hero, he would have gone into the medical field where he could help people in the purest form; without violence.

From his position, he can see everything that Touya does. The way he cleans the newly opened wounds, moving his wrist to examine the condition of the staples. He does it all with practiced ease that tells of many similar sessions, giving him more insight into his life than Touya probably intended. ]

Your skin... it never fully heals.

[ If it did, he wouldn't need to constantly change the staples. They were there to hold the skin together while it healed, but Dabi - for as long as he's known him - has always had the staples. ]

Gave ya a crash course or didja take classes?

[dabi isn't too surprised his littlest brother leans towards the medical side of things. after what went on in their home, it'd be natural for him to want to care for others and take care of the injured. he's already noted natsuo was going into the same field, and fuyumi was a teacher at an elementary school. all three of them finding their paths in the help and care of others. wouldn't surprise him if natsuo went to pediatrics in his studies. all about the kids who could be at risk like they were.

it's ironic that they have such issues with him. after all, touya also wants to help people: by getting rid of the monsters than hurt them, not simply treating the after effects and hoping they get better. (of course he'd laugh at such implications, and really only admit to them in a sarcastic manner.)

if shouto wants to study his work while he's doing it, he's welcome to. touya hasn't sent him out of the room or prevented him from watching. with the staples removed and the areas cleaned, he tells shouto to pass the gun, since both his hands have blood on them now, then takes it presses it to the surface of his hand. makes sure to get both "sides" of his skin right over the demarcation line between burn and health.

'cachkt'

he doesn't even flinch.]

It scars or burns. Not a lotta "healin" going on with me.

I looked it up on my own when I was redesigning my costume.

[ It's the first addition he added that was purely 'him'.

There's no doubt they lean toward helping others due to their background. Finding different ways to help others outside of heroics. Shouto, likely influenced by his siblings, gravitates toward those same ideals, but he's still a better hero than a medic. His power, while versatile, can be of more use on the front lines.

He's a silent observer. Watching Touya go through the motions of stitching himself back together. When he's asked for the gun, he hands it over, making sure not to get the blood on him. Still, it bothers him. Seeing that blood on his brother. In his time as a Hunter, he's seen too many instances of bloodletting snowball out of control. He doesn't want that happening to his brother.

The sound of the gun slamming the metal into place echoes loudly in the room making him jolt. Goosebumps break out on his arms at the thought of that gun breaking through his skin. ]

... Doesn't it hurt you?

Got a stapler in your costume design now?

[dabi has some doubts about that, but considering shouto's emotional leanings, he wouldn't put it past him.

neither fuyumi nor natsuo had ever been encouraged to look at heroics as a future in their loves. considered too "weak" to be either touya's replacement or ideal for endeavor's wants. (fuyumi escaped the "replacement" intent, but...) they had to find other ways to move into their futures. of course their father never cared what they did, so long as they didn't distract him from shouto.

dabi's careful and practiced enough not to rip at his skin, knowing which staples are most sensitive. he took care of himself surprisingly, despite the severe damage to his body. after all, if he didn't, he'd have been riddled with infections and died a long time ago with all these things poking into him. still, bleeding happens, and there are small rivulets of red wandering down his hand and wrist that end up collecting into a few droplets. contaminates the gun and his body, so he's not handing the item back to shouto. but at least the amount of blood isn't likely going to cause trouble. it looks gruesome, but it's more of a papercut severity.

rather than punching a staple into his hand to pin it to his bone, the gun works to pierce the two ends into his skin and then curls them to pinch the flesh together like the mandibles of an ant, giving the staple that odd illusion of sometimes appearing as a hoop.]

I'm used to it.

[moving onto his other hand.]

No, it doesn't fit.

[ He answers matter-of-factly as he continues to watch him rip at his skin. It makes him nervous, all the blood. More so the fact that he never flinches. No grimace or small twinge that he feels any of it. In contrast, Shouto feels his own wrist inflame and he rubs at them quietly. Mouth pulling down in an almost grimace at the steady pull of skin and tendons. Flesh maneuvered like it wasn't attached to a living person. ]

That's not what I asked. You didn't take the painkillers. [ He looks at him, face almost stern if it wasn't for the obvious worry in his eyes. Doesn't it hurt you? ] Do you need some water to take it?

Didn't think so.

[could see it attached to the back of his belt like some kind of short sword. so long as shouto keeps the ice plug in the bath, they won't have anything to worry about. another set of staples pierce into and grip his skin, holding it together. the pain is dull, but it's not a complete numbness. some parts of his rejuvenated and unburned flesh remain more sensitive than his scars, but considering the extent of his damage and recovery... it's nothing he has to contend with negatively.]

I'll take 'em after I'm done. [dabi doesn't bother returning the look, ignoring the concerned eyes on him as he works on his hand. only after he's finished putting the new staples in does he bother to remove the last two he identified. then, those cleaned and wiped, they get replaced with two more 'kachnks' and he puts the gun down to treat his restapled flesh.] Water safe to drink here?

[ He wants to push, tell him to take it now, but he also knows it's his own stress telling him to do so. Touya doesn't seem affected by it and somehow that's even worse. Fingers digging into his palms, he refrains. ]

It depends on the pipes.

[ Tries to focus on something he can actually do. ]

I usually make my own water when I'm out.

[ And to demonstrate, he unclips one of the empty canisters around his belt. Opens it and fills it with ice before switching hands and warming it up to create freshly made chilled water. This too he sets on the pillar of ice for Dabi to take when he's ready. ]

[touya finishes wiping off his wrist and checks over the staples one more time. they gleam wet in the faint light, but are cleaned and hold together. should be good to go so long as he's not overly active with them.

moving onto the next wrist. this time he has to add the tweezers to his bloody hand, so now those are contaminated. going to have to rinse this stuff off eventually, but how to do that safely is an issue...]

Right.

[cause shouto's a lucky guy who can fucking do that. dabi picks out another staple, clicking his tongue in annoyance when it starts to bleed. has to be a bit more careful around the ones on the underside of his hand, particularly near the underside of his wrist. doesn't want to bleed out. he notices shouto making the water, but ignores the silent offer.

later.]

[ When he's done he doesn't go back to his seat, staying put when he notices the blood start to smear. ]

I can freeze the blood. [ He offers. ] It's 90% water. I can get it off of you without spilling it.

[ It's another skill he's picked up in his time here. How to manipulate blood - not like a Blood Minister - but using his ice. It's not a long-term solution but it's a decent way to harvest blood without spilling it. ]

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well today's chapter bloody hurt

!! I can't believe it's worse than we thought!!

he's such a failure, not even afo wants him!

*That* killed me! His entire backstory just got 10x worse!!!!

That killed me! His entire backstory just got 10x worse!!!!