Moderation isn't in my vocabulary

[violetlies]

Who: Kokichi Oma + OPEN! Closed starters available by request.
What: Catch-all log for April! Includes TDM and Event prompts.
When: Throughout the month of April
Where: Depends on prompt

Content Warnings: All warnings for the TDM prompt will apply. Specific instances will be warned for depending on prompt, but there will be a big focus on disassociative/unreality-based themes.

Wild card prompts are available by request via plotting on Discord, messaging at osomatsuniisan, or PM. ♥

Comments

[violetlies]

Deal.

[The smile grows stronger. He takes her hand, and they begin heading forward--though not without him looking visibly surprised, then amused first.]

Aaah, you're Jessica-chan. We met on the network before! What a coincidence~

[That, and he's quite familiar with Jessica from Sayo's lamentations. Bright eyed bombastic Jessica, with her striking eyes and beautiful smiles and such adoration for life that it could even make furniture long to be human. By all accounts, she sounded like Kaede if Kaede had Tenko's tendency to act on impulse and assumption that violence was the answer sometimes.

She certainly gave off that impression when met in person. Even if Kokichi had no attraction to girls, he couldn't deny that she had a presence. And he had to make sure she didn't get into anything too bad, even if they were heading towards danger. For her sake, and for Sayo's sake.

Hmmm. A plan, as they headed forward.]

Kidd, come out!

[A black raccoon seems to appear at Kokichi's feet. His omen.]

Scout ahead, send back what you see, focus on any threats so we're prepared. Jessica-chan, we'll keep an eye out for those portals.

[Kidd seems to nod, then scampers ahead of the two of them.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ Even hardened by trauma and with her mind whirling with adrenaline at the present moment, some things about Jessica never change. To wit, the way she stammers and goes beet red when Kokichi mentions that embarrassing network post. ]

Oh, ahaha, um! W-Wahaha, sheesh, nobody's ever gonna forget that, huh?

[ Least of all Jessica. In a lot of ways it had enlightened her, about the people around her, and about herself. But there was no time to contemplate that time, embarrassing though it may have been. She nods, squeezes his hand, running off into the night with him, keeping her eyes peeled for more portals. She has no intention of letting this boy get hurt either. ]

Oh, that's a good idea! Should I send mine out too?

[ A phantasmal eagle appears on her shoulder, extending its impressive wingspan. With several mighty flaps, it lifts up into the dark sky. ]

[violetlies]

Weeee~eeeelll. I wouldn't feel too bad about it! I've just got a pretty sharp memory in general. Most detective's assistants never miss even the smallest details. Neeheehee!

[But hey, she summoned her omen, and Kokichi whistles, impressed.]

Whoa. Yours is biiiiiiig. An eagle...now we've got coverage on both land and sky! Nice!

[Hmmm. There's some sounds of danger up ahead, but there's a flicker off to the left. Kidd also skittered off to the left, and--]

Aha! Portal, dead ahead!

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ Jessica barks a short laugh, trying not to let show the complicated and pained nostalgia that rises up inside her at hearing somebody talk so excitedly about detectives.

Her omen draws lazy circles as it rises higher into the night, Jessica moderately amazed herself; she never knew it could do anything like this. But it's a bird, right? So why wouldn't it? ]

Yeah, sort of funny it'd be an eagle, but—

[ And then she freezes. Because her omen sees the portal too. She almost doesn't believe what she sees through those eyes, almost thinks it's some sort of wishful thinking conjured by her own desperation bleeding out from the still fresh wounds on her heart. But soon enough they round the corner, and she sees it with her own eyes.

Rokkenjima. It's unmistakeable. And... ]

Mom?!

[ Jessica and an elegantly dressed, but tired looking older woman stand in the hall of a mansion. The sound of rain is an incessant patter from outside the windows. The two of them are talking, Jessica looking concerned, but somewhat awkward, as though she's unused to conversing casually with her mother.

"Thank you for being considerate," her mother says, with a small smile.

"Yeah, um..."

"You were worried about me. I am alright now. I will go."

The Jessica in the portal fidgets awkwardly. Her hand goes to a pocket in her blazer, and she fishes something out of it, while the Jessica in Trench bangs her fist against the invisible barrier separating the worlds, shouting with all the considerable power in her lungs. There's undisguised panic on her face. ]

Mom! MOM!!! It's me, it's Jessica, can't you hear me?! You're in danger!

[ But there's no response from the other side. ]

[violetlies]

[For a moment Kokichi ponders the expression on Jessica's face when he mentions a detective - and then it clicks in his head. Right. Battler. That guy had such a profound effect on people without even trying, usually for the worse, but they still couldn't bring themselves to dismiss his presence with certain hatred.

Just like Kaito. God. It was incredibly obvious why Sayo warned him before - if Battler shows up, don't interact with him. Just don't. He'll be bad for you. Yeah. Very much so.

This portal, however...appears to be Jessica's. Kokichi's own eyes widen the moment she cries out for her mother, and he follows after her, Kidd having paused in front of the portal. The raccoon, upon Kokichi's approach, disappears for a moment before reappearing perched on his right shoulder.

He's silent at the scene. Jessica's mother - that woman in the elegant purple dress - is in danger. He bites his tongue.]

When I was able to talk to Saihara-chan, no version of 'me' was around. So maybe when the other you isn't around, then...?

[There's some part of him that still feels his heart sink, though. Maybe because if he hadn't run away from his intended life, this would have probably been like a place he lived. He was supposed to be well-off, he just...

He ran from that.

...

He couldn't remember his mother's face. Maybe all that was a lie he'd gotten engrained into his head. Maybe he was hoping for his own mother to maybe show up in another portal instead of his classmates. Maybe...

No. That was a stranger. He needed to see his classmates. He needed to save them.

It's maybe some twinge of desperation that he walks up beside Jessica and slams his fists against the barrier, too. He can't manage to say anything. Just...maybe if two people are doing it, maybe...

You know that won't work. Kidd's voice, in his head. You're trying to play hero now, too. You're aware you're a hypocrite, right? You're doing *ex-act-ly* what *he'd* do. Giving people false hope because you're too selfish to accept a painful truth.

He had no rebuttal to that.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ It's not quite Battler, though it's true that her cousin, like the rest of her family brings up complicated and painful feelings, enmeshed in that tragedy as he was (no matter that he was essentially blameless in it). Rather she thinks of those times when Sayo really opened up, when their friendship was really close and she'd talk about her interests. Jessica never really got into mysteries, she rarely read much except manga, but she always liked hearing her friend get so excited about them. It's hard to know what to feel about those memories now. ]

Mom, listen, please!

[ It's not the other Jessica that turns to leave, but Natsuhi. Jessica continues crying after her, until the other Jessica pipes up. The Jessica in Trench goes entirely silent, straining to listen to her other self.

"Um, hey, mom! I, uh, was given a charm earlier. What was it, some kinda charm against magic? Um, you're supposed to hang it on your doorknob, or something. Ahaha... I forget... there's no reason for me to have it, though, so... I'm giving it to you."

"A gift?" Natsuhi sounds amused.

"S-Something like that! I mean, it's just... a toy, you can't expect it to actually work, but...

Jessica holds out a small plastic charm with a scorpion design, and much to Jessica's surprise, Natsuhi takes it, a warm smile lighting up her exhausted features. A smile that makes tears start to well up in the other Jessica's eyes.

"Thank you. I'll take good care of it. In return, how about I give you a charm that was important to me as a child?"

"Th-That's not really why I gave it to you... but, if you say so..."

"I'll get some sleep for now. My headache is terrible. Try not to stay up to late."

"Sure..."

Natsuhi turns to leave, and the portal abruptly winks out of existence, leaving a stunned Jessica staring at the space where her mother once was, the tears starting to run down her cheeks. ]

No... No! No, come back! Please, please please you have to come back! Mom!

[ She slumps to her knees and screams, all grief and frustrated rage and helplessness. She's going to die, isn't she? She's going to die and she could do nothing to help. ]

[violetlies]

[The Jessica in the portal gives Jessica's mother a charm. It's a nice interaction. It's...melancholy, but it clearly is the interaction of a mother and a daughter that love each other dearly. If his heart wasn't aching, he might've felt envious. But from the atmosphere, this interaction didn't turn out well.

And it's then when the portal winks out of existence, aNd Kokichi's arm shoots out, as if to try to grab it and force it back open, but there's nothing to grab. There's nothing there. Just open air.

And one crying young lady nearby. Kokichi isn't sure what to say for a good minute. He feels like he's intruding on a moment that shouldn't all be something he knows. And that's why he also slowly sinks down to his knees.]

I'm sorry, Jessica-chan.

[Are you going to keep looking? Because you can't let your classmates go? Yasuda-chan warned you. Now you're getting warned again. The person with which you agreed - I won't let go yet - he disappeared. What do you think that means, Master? Kidd's voice in his head was cutting, like Kokichi's voice had been during the killing game. Like when he was tearing down Himiko for not caring about Tenko until it was far too late. And now he was doing the exact same thing.

Because he was selfish. Because he wanted to hope that he could succeed. Because he wanted to be a hero, too.

That was it, wasn't it?
That was it. He was so sick of being the villain, and yet, that was all he was good at.

And that was when tears - warm, blobby tears - began forming at the corners of his eyes. This was a fool's errand.

He doesn't even recognize that a new portal has appeared where the last disappeared for a good minute, and when he sees it, he's too weak to say anything.

The room that is displayed this time is ornate, but there's something off about it. The environment is pixelated. Still, there's clearly two people there. Kokichi...and a boy in a black outfit.

"Oh, wait! Now that we're alone, I want to tell you something." Kokichi. The boy dressed in black spins around from looking at an elegant table.

"...What is it?"

Kokichi - the Kokichi in the portal - bolts forward suddenly, now in the other boy's personal space, his face flushed. "You're really useful."

"Huh?" The boy dressed in black looks befuddled.

"So, how about you stop hanging out with dumb ol' Kaito, and be *my* friend instead? I think I can be useful to you, too...y'know? I can help you save everyone. And you wanna save everyone, riiiiight?"]

So do you.

[The present-day Kokichi mumbles, tears dripping from his eyes.

Shuichi turns away.]

Please, Shuichi. You...you can't. I'm going to...if you go now, then...I'll do something terrible...

[But he can't change the past, then, can he? That's why his mumbling is as weak as it is.

And then Shuichi says-- "Shuichi Saihara." And in a flicker of light, he's gone. The Kokichi in the portal is standing there by himself.

"Nee-heehee...aw, I got rejected. But I won't give up that easily. When I find someone I like, I'd do anything to get them to notice me...even strangle them."

The portal slams shut, and it's like a final shot fired into Kokichi's body.]

...

[Jessica lost everything to a tragedy she could do nothing to prevent. Kokichi lost everything to the same, but he participated in it. He made it worse.

That's why one of them is loved, and the other is despised.

That's why there's always a villain in this story.]

[snakesdonthavelegs]

[ When the next portal appears, Jessica doesn't notice it at first either. She only registers the sound of him crying too. Like her, he's mourning what he lost, what could have been, what he cannot reach. She turns silently to look at him, eyes lonely but welling with sympathy.

It's only when those voices appear from the portal that she turns, to watch another far-off, untouchable scene. She doesn't understand what she's seeing, what the significance of this is for Kokichi. ]

Oma-kun...

[ There's something in the scene she's seeing, and in the broken words of the boy beside her, that gives her a sickening sense of deja vu. There's no direct evidence of what's wrong here, or what will happen on the other side of the portal. But it's wrong, it makes her skin crawl, and it's at least partially the fault of the boy beside her. ]

What did you...

[ Seeing him there, sobbing before the people he has lost forever unavoidably reminds her of Sayo, grieving and self-flagellating. Utterly miserable, impossible to completely hate, despite the depths of her betrayal. Hesitantly, she puts a hand on his shoulder. ]

There's nothing we can change now, Oma-kun...