[006] Oh, When You're Gone Will They Say Your Name

[themuseabandonsyou]

Who: Orpheus (themuseabandonsyou) and others
What: April Catch-All
When: Throughout April
Where: Serenity Garden, Crenshaw, throughout the city

Warnings: Grief (loss of a loved one), depression, giant insect (Argonaut), flesh-eating monsters and potential for violent confrontation

I. And when you're gone will they love you the same
( OTA )( cw: grief (loss of a loved one), depression )
Orpheus shows up to Serenity Garden oddly dressed for the weather, in his denim jacket, a loose knitted cap and gloves. He looks a little too warm with all of that on, but taking it off isn't really an option - the symptoms of his ongoing corruption would be much too obvious. His hands are still gray and scaly, his antlers have yet to fully recede, and the set of four bony protrusions on his back where his beast form's wings were are still just barely too visible without a coat on. Still, even with all of that in mind, he's pretty sure he's okay to be out and about by now. Pretty sure. At the very least, he thinks he's reached the point where staying in his empty house all alone isn't helping him get any better.

So the first place he goes when he makes up his mind to venture out again is Airy's garden. He wants to see the fruits of her labors for himself, and it proves to be well worth it. Even in the gloom of April's at this point week-long night, it's beautiful, and he smiles what might be one of his first genuine smiles in a long, long time, just standing at the edge and taking it all in. Throughout the day, he moves slowly between the various benches and tables of the garden, sitting quietly with his guitar propped up next to him. He doesn't play it at any point. He doesn't have it in him. But it seemed important to bring it here with him.

II. Oh when you're gone we won't say a word
( OTA )( cw: grief (loss of a loved one), depression, giant non-hostile insect (Argonaut) )
On the roof of a small, powder blue house in Crenshaw sits a motley collection of beings. Four batcats lounge on the slopes and peaks, eyes alert in the moonlight, while sitting propped up against one of the gables is Orpheus, watching the moon and stroking something fluffy and white in his lap. At first glance it seems to be yet another batcat, but then there's a flash of compound eyes, of too many too-thin legs and mothy wings. It's Argonaut, come to rest his weary bones carapace?? for a moment.

Orpheus sings softly, almost too quiet to be heard from the street.

"Rossignolet sauvage,
Rossignolet sauvage,
Apprends-moi la manière
Apprends-moi z'à parler
Apprends-moi la manière
Comment l'amour se fait"
III. But you know that's okay
( OTA )( cw: potential for flesh-eating monsters and violent confrontation )
It's on his way back through the city from Serenity Garden that it happens. A ball of gold-white light plummets from the sky, looking for all the world like it's going to crash into the ground only to come to a gentle halt just a few inches above it. Orpheus, hesitantly lowers his arms after having thrown them up to protect his face and peers into it as it begins to unravel like a silken cocoon, the light fading away to reveal... a hole in the world? For a moment the daylight emanating through it is blinding in the long night of April, but Orpheus squints into it regardless, unable to look away.

[ OOC Note: If you pick this prompt please let me know if you'd like a Greek mythological monster or to meet one of Orpheus's old friends from home! If we've already plotted things out ahead of time you're good to go. If you don't specify I'll just pick for you. ]
IV. Wildcard
[ OOC: Need something else? Feel free to talk to me over at questionableveracity on Plurk or quodVide#2951 on Discord! ]

Comments

[droptheious]

"Hmmm- you're a paleblood, right? I think that...amplified your whole...song thing."

That tracks from what Vyng told him and he nods, still worried for his friend.

"Yeah that's- that's pretty much what happened to me. I didn't want to bother anyone with what I was feelings so I just pushed it all down and then Fern died and-" he chews his lip, he still doesn't like thinking about it, he still wants to shut down about it even if he knows that's the worst choice to make. "I just snapped, I guess. So yeah, I really do get it, Orpheus."

He wishes none of them had to go through it, but at least he can help now, with this experience, terrible as it was.

"I do, and I'm here to help you with what I can, okay? I won't judge, I promise."

And he always means it when he makes a promise.

cw: suicidal themes, talk of death by starvation/exposure

[themuseabandonsyou]

"Oh. I guess that would make sense," says Orpheus, frowning. Something clicks into place in his mind - Varian being a coldblood, and his beast form breathing fire. Somehow he hadn't made the connection until just now.

"There's just... a lot, that I've been trying not to feel, for a really long time," he admits, looking down at his hands. "I did get to talk to Eurydice about some of it, and that made it better, but... "

He breathes out, a long, slow exhale as he gathers his thoughts and his courage. It's hard to admit any of this, but he guesses Varian will probably understand, given some of the things he's been through.

"She left me, before. Or, she didn't leave me, it wasn't about me." He grimaces, already feeling bad for phrasing it that way, for making it about himself. "She left everything behind. Going to the underworld was her choice, because she thought it was that or die long and slow without enough food or firewood to last us the winter. And she was probably right, but. I was mad at her for going, and I knew it was unfair but I couldn't stop, so I just... pretended I wasn't. And then she left again, and this time it wasn't even her choice, but I just got so angry -"

Shaking his head, he takes a moment to put his face in his hands, taking another deep breath.

"Isn't that awful? After all of this - after I promised her a safe home to come back to, after I spent the winter working on my song instead of helping her, after I looked back - me being mad at her? What right do I have?"

cw: suicidal themes, talk of death by starvation/exposure

[droptheious]

Varian definitely understands, and he falls quiet as Orpheus speaks, not interrupting. He already knows the guilt that his friend carried with him for turning around, for failing Hades' test. Varian will stand by forever that it's something Orpheus shouldn't blame himself for- that it was a simple mistake that had devastating consequences. But he also knows from experience that guilt...doesn't work that way. That no matter how many times your loved ones tell you that you shouldn't beat yourself up for your past mistakes, that you're allowed to heal and allow yourself room to grow...well. It just doesn't work like that.

"I don't think it's awful, Orpheus," he says it gently. "I think you were just hurt that you were left alone, and that's- that's understandable. Even when you know she didn't have any control over it, both- both here and home...loss hurts. Learning someone you care about is just- just gone is the kind of pain that sticks with you."

He will never forget finding his dad trapped in the amber. How it felt like the world had been ripped out from under him.

"It's normal to be angry. It's- it's not really being angry at her, it's being angry at the situation. It's just that it happened to focus on the person that's missing because where else can you point it? Especially here- it's not like you can pinpoint whoever...whatever it is that sends people home and get back at them."

[themuseabandonsyou]

"Oh," says Orpheus, frowning slightly and looking back at his hands as what Varian has to say sinks in. Is it that he's not really angry at Eurydice? Certainly he doesn't want to be, and Varian's explanation makes sense, that it's just gotten twisted around in his head and the echoing refrain of how unfair it all is isn't about her but the situations they keep finding themselves in, but part of him feels like that's... cheating. Like he's trying to grab for any way to make him feel like a better person than he really is.

But he told Ange before that he was going to trust his friends' judgments of him, their advice and their concerns, so he does his best to think on that.

"That makes sense," he says, quietly. "I still don't like being this angry about... anything. It feels worse than the grief - or, the other parts, of the grief? But I'll try to think of it that way."

He looks up, again.

"Thank you. I don't... really know what to do with myself now, but. I'm glad you're here. You and everyone else who tried to help."

[droptheious]

"I can get that- that it's hard to be angry. Like...like it feels like it's a wrong emotion. Like it's one that can do break damage? And it can, obviously," a lot of terrible things have happened because someone let their anger get the better of them, Varian is living proof of that. "But it's an important part of getting better, too? I think trying to ignore or push down your anger...probably will only make things worse in the long run. So it's good that you're letting yourself feel it. And you're- you're not hurting anyone with it."

That's important, too. He offers Orpheus a weak smile.

"Hey, anytime. I'm always happy to listen to anything you need to talk about."