deercountry | faceless man counting crumpled bills // OPEN

Luz had actually been helped by blood ministers that she was brought to by Vira, but she understood if the cor-well, Rose, didn't want to deal with them.

The clues to her name and aversion to mushrooms had been the big clue in figuring out who she was, though she also thought it was lucky that she happened to know Rose to begin with.

Now how to get her back to herself?

Maybe if I play you some music? Do you think that would help?

She'd heard terrifying tales of blood ministers who were supposed to use their abilities to heal, to torture instead. She was deeply frightened of them since the last thing she wanted was pain on top of this indignity.

If one ever asked her about this, she'd deny, deny, deny as many times as it took the other person to leave her be. She feared that the Trench gossip machine functioned much in the way that the Society gossip machine did: when there were only so many people in a group, everyone was fascinated with everyone else's doing. And had few qualms about digging in.

She had no idea of how to do that. Unless she could be separated from the other self which did this to her in the first place.

Ragtime. Not hymns.

Never hymns.

Luz would have at least tried to quell some of that fear, but the scars on her back were likely going to have their own tale to tell. She could understand why Rose felt that way about the blood ministers, but they were different from the zealots. The blood Ministers were supposed to help. Granted, she'd met some pretty arrogant ones too, so she couldn't safely say she felt they were all good.

Which was why, of course, Luz was going to honor Rose's request to keep them away. She knew the corrupted could be brought back with the right kind of circumstances. It wasn't easy, and darned impossible if you didn't know that person too well.

Luz was, in this case, glad it was Rose. She could attempt to do what she could.

Uh. Don't have ragtime, per say. Would you settle for some Electronic Swing?

If Rose ever saw those scars, if she ever found out who caused them, well. Who said that dreamwalking couldn't be used against others, especially those who deserved it? And there was the fact that in theory, she could cause hallucinations. She'd make them hallucinate what it was which caused those scars. Vengeful? Certainly.

Satisfactory? Yes.

Rose assumed that she'd eventually become herself again, but was glad for Luz's company as always.

What's that?

Luz honestly hoped that Rose would never try to get those guys: the zealots had been surprisingly strong, and worst still, had had Pale bloods in their employ too. It was honestly pretty scary, and the experience still haunted her nightmares.

But she would have appreciated someone caring enough to want to defend her, always.

Well. It's kind of up beat old timey with some electronic bass. Let me see. Oh! Something like this.

Luz rummaged into her backpack and pulled out what looked to be a pretty ragged music player, and put them in corrupted Rose's ears.

Now she could sample some dorky but, in Luz's eyes, hip music.

But those guys would be a persistent threat? If so, she'd gladly match them, Paleblood for Paleblood. And she's capable of being a lot meaner than she generally lets on.

Ask Cal Hockley. Because at first, all he'd done wrong was be a vastly wealthy older man who was attracted to her. Her mother told her to play along since she assumed the Hockley Steel fortune was the answer to their prayers, but it didn't take long for Rose to realize that all they'd do was make each other miserable in the long run. But by then, Rose had already said yes to his proposal and was wearing an enormous oval-cut diamond flanked on each side by more diamonds on her ring finger, so there was seemingly no escape.

Am I old timey?

She didn't start as Luz did so, she trusted her too much for that, even in this wretched form.

...what is this? I love it.

It was that the zealots tended to come in groups, and not just versed in one style of magic. Luz had fought a few herself and they'd been way harder than she expected. It had made her want to make sure they were better prepared the next time that those zealots came after them, that her magic would be a more formidable match. Honestly, the more people cracking down on them, the better.

Compared to me? Yes. But that's not a bad thing! I kind of think it's pretty cool?

Luz knew most people would hesitate to call anything she did "cool."

An obscure combination of rap, electronica and pop. He calls it "chap hop." Maybe not the best example, but I really enjoy it!

She'd never heard a thing about zealots before. If she had known, that would have made her train all the more harder with sensei Lawrence. So she could at least try to keep those she cared for safe while using her Paleblood abilities on the offense rather than sticking to defense. They had Palebloods, fine. She was one, too, and if they wanted a hallucination, she'd give it to them.

Cool?

Rose still wasn't sure what the modern meaning of the word was.

I like it.

Luz wouldn't have blamed Rose for wanting to train more and would even have encouraged it! Of course, the zealots were not the type of people who'd want to get around close enough to be grabbed. That had been the most annoying thing. Luz would have recommended she have someone train her in magical fighting too.

Cool! It means, um, interesting, something you want to be like. It's sorta hard to think of an equivalent toward from your time. Uh. 'The bee's knees?'

Cool. The opposite of Luz at times, honestly.

Me too! The cadence, the way the music swells, the braggadocio style of the singer! It's just really fun!

There were times when she felt so terribly weak, especially in comparison with everyone else. That was why she wanted to get better at her Paleblood abilities, that way at least she had a solid defense to fall back on if her physical training failed her. If one can read another person's mind, they know exactly where the attack is coming from in time to dodge or counterstrike.

Ah. That I understand.

Nonsense, Luz was very cool!

I like fun music. Felt bad for the band still playing on the deck. They were trying.

Luz didn't know any of this but would have assured Rose that magic takes practice and dedication, and had only gotten as good as she had by making sure she did both in her spare time. Even Pale Blood abilities were tricky to learn, as Luz was still struggling with getting it right.

Oh good. I know there's still a little gap in the periods when we were born.

Not that it mattered in the long run, since Luz was fond of Rose anyway.

The band on-oh, you mean...wow. Really? All the way until the end?

She wouldn't even be sure she could do magic the way Luz could because where she'd come from? The magicians were all charlatans, hiding cards up their sleeves, hats with secret compartments, and making wild guesses about their audience, assuming that the guess had to hit the mark with someone. Other than Houdini, he seemed to actually know what he was doing.

A small one, yes. With a hint of amusement.

And the feeling was mutual.

I think so?

Luz knew it would have to be more of gradual development of her powers if she were truly going to be able to use it correctly. It had happened over time with her too, but she was still in the dark when it came to her actual Pale Blood abilities.

Don't worry. I think we'll learn useful things from each other about when and where we lived.

At least Rose seemed to be gradually moving out of being corrupted.

Aw. Those poor people. The truest of musicians, to go down with the ship.

She'd managed mind-reading and dream-walking. Now she had to check hallucinations off of her list, but that was the one she least looked forward to using. It seemed like cruelty for the sake of it with very little room for the barest of possible benefits. But if she didn't use it, there was a strong chance it would use her without her permission.

I think so, too. Though, I do have to wonder what someone from my time has to offer anyone.

Slowly, but surely. The horns were slowly retracting and the coarse dog hair was slowly starting to give way]

Yes. So many did.

Ooh. Right. Luz was not in the know about hallucinations, but she would have likely told Rose to be careful there. How would you know what was real and what was fabricated?

Over the years, I'd say life gets pretty complicated. Not in the field of race, orientation and sex, mind you, those have gotten at least a little better. But people have found ways to alienate themselves with the advancement of technology. Wisdom from earlier times would probably help.

That was her way of thinking about it, anyway.

It sounds awful. Hope you never have to see something like that here.

Goodness knows in Deerington, October would have rivaled anything on the Titanic by a substantial amount].

And then there were the premonitions. Another she's living in dread of it kicking in. She keeps hoping that maybe she'll be spared that much, after all she'd realized that the Titanic didn't have enough life boats for everyone aboard before anything happened. Isn't that a premonition enough?

Hmm. I assume that hand-written letters have gone out of fashion since they're not available here.

Which seems a shame. Valentine's Day cards are probably gone, too, since she saw nothing of the sort.

I desperately hope so. I can be brave, but it's easier with company.

Perhaps so. After all, October is an entire month. The sinking of the Titanic only took a couple of hours. But that hadn't been the worst part, the worst part had been being surrounded by scores of the dead and dying, hearing their screams. Deafening at first, then fewer and further between.

Luz didn't know about premonitions, but she certainly figured it was a lot to take in. Rose was going to have to master those in due time, and was going to have it's own weight on her. She hoped it wasn't too cruel.

I never found out, honestly. When you can use the network for things, letters are kind of obsolete.

Luz was still a kid of her time, and letters definitely seemed like a thing of the past.

Oh, preaching to the choir, sister! Most things are much easier to deal with when you have people.

She didn't used to think so, but over time that changed!

How bad was October? Bad enough that Luz didn't even want to think about it around Rose. Those horrors were better left unsaid and not thought about.

So did Rose, but she wasn't sure if she could be that fortunate. But who knew, maybe her luck would turn around? Other than this. This was very much an exception. She never wanted this to happen again if she could at all help it.

Really? That's a shame. I used to love to write letters, to practice my calligraphy if nothing else.

Most of the time, they weren't letters which were to be sent. They were letters to Mr. Darcy and Rochester. But none to Heathcliff, he seemed abominably cruel even though most of the girls she knew were crazy about him.

They really are. I hadn't known how important they would be.

Which was putting it mildly. She'd suspected life would be easier with people who understood and had gotten a heady taste of it with Jack. Now the only thing which would make things better would be this place and Jack.

Better to be surprised, even if were an unpleasant one.

Luz hoped that beasthood wouldn't come so easily following this. There was far too much misfortune happening already. Corruption being so rife wasn't going to help anyone.

Ooh, calligraphy? Could you teach me that someday? It looks so elegant and pretty!

Esay Luz, easy! She scolded herself slightly. Rose was still dealing with her own corruption! She wasn't going to be able to teach you this kind of stuff right now!

I should have made sure you knew how important that was. I'm sorry!

Really Luz, you were RIGHT HERE helping. Obviously she knew that she wasn't alone. But leave it to Luz to blame herself for things that couldn't be helped.

At least Rose was starting to gain more of herself as they "talked."

You're looking better now!

She never knew how quick it could be. She hadn't even felt corrupted when the not-her had taken her over and turned her into this. And now she knew why people were so afraid of beasts. She was afraid of herself.

Yes, if you're interested? If it's true that there's no use of it here, but want to learn it anyway, I'll teach you.

Maybe not, but it gave her a goal to strive towards.

It's not your fault.

A common enough thing, traversing time and space into making people feel guilty about things they couldn't help. She sometimes felt guilty when she bought more than one container of smoked sturgeon at the fishmonger's.

She was. The horns had retreated further and now the eyes were unmistakable.

Good, I'm glad. Thank you so much.

It was a surprise to Luz too, and a disturbing one. She hated that it had descended on Rose before she even had time to truly settle in Trench, or at all. Considering what she had been through, she honestly didn't deserve any of this.

Thanks, I'd appreciate that! It's sort of become a lost art in my time, looked at as frivolous, but I say there's something admirable and refined about calligraphy!

Luz is an odd one, and doesn't mind this at all.

But its important! In this place, you really need all the help you can possibly get. Believe me, it helps.

Really, they needed to give themselves a break.

Of course, Rose. I'm glad we're friends. It reminds me of why I can stand being here.

She was still getting used to life in the whichever century this was, it was true. She'd found a house she liked and had moved in her few meager belongings, but she still wasn't entirely used to cooking and cleaning for herself, as awful as that would have sounded. And she hadn't had time to be retraumatized by the river in March and the blasted door showing up out of nowhere, she'd been too busy surviving and helping someone else do the same.

It is beautiful and it makes invitations and letters and even little things like recipe cards look so much nicer.

Not that she actually has recipe cards. But she's seen them before.

I'm not entirely used to relying on others. Back home, I'd mostly had only myself to rely on, though I had Jack for a handful of days.

They did. She wanted to be strong enough to be on her own, but she feared that would come at the consequence of being alone again.

I wish I could cry. But I feel the same way about you.

Good grief. It was so much. TOO much. Luz had always thought that the way this place just threw things at people were too cruel and awful that they could be managed without feeling like you were going a little crazy.

She really should have pondered about how much SHE had been able to take, having had to deal with the town before this one.

I know! I have to admit I'm a bit of a nerd for art though, so I'm biased!

Luz will help her find recipes, or at least direct her to Snow White, the champion of living by yourself.

You keep mentioning Jack in your memories. What was he like?

She knew it was a memory that had pleasure and pain, but she still Rose to come back, and this might be something she needed to talk about.

It's ok. Crying will come eventually. And thanks! Believe it or not, I didn't make friends that easily back home.

She'd been used to the idea that she'd simply have to function as the human equivalent of a marionette when she thought she had no way out of marrying Cal. She'd done her best to numb her emotions, but even that wasn't enough, leading to her meeting Jack and having the life breathed back into her again.

There may be a great deal of repressed trauma.

So am I! I had so many paintings I'd bought while I was in Europe. Now all of them are at the bottom of the North Atlantic.

But she has since come to learn that "Something" Picasso had become a world-renowned artist, one who inspired generations after him. Eat that, Cal.

He was...how do I describe him? I needed someone to question me, to ask out loud the things I'd been wondering about to myself for months and he was willing to do that. At first, I thought it was because he was a poor boy who'd grown up without proper manners, but his lack of regard for proper manners was actually attractive. My society lived on proper manners to the point of being priggish and it was intolerable. He was smart and funny and kind and he was willing to do anything to make sure I lived, that I was okay.

And he was cute.

Though, she's ignoring the "anything" for now, for fear it sends it sends her back into distress.

But I hate crying. Once I start, it's hard to stop. And that's something we have in common.

And the dog-beast form contorts, but doesn't change other than losing some of the dog hair.

Luz was never going to understand how women dealt with such an unjust world back then. Nowadays she could do what she wanted and dress how she liked, and that wouldn't have happened without decades of women who had to forcibly make that happen. She thought if anyone was a testament to how strong women were, it was embodied in Rose.

And she knew that came with its own baggage.

There's always new art to find though! One thing that never stops in any world, its creating things!

At least, Luz hoped she was never in a world where that was punished.

He sounds great, Rose. I mean, the cute part IS nice, but it also sounded like he was someone you really needed at that time. He really opened some doors for you to find out what you were really all about.

True, in a typical story Luz might have been slightly outraged that a man had to show the woman how to be herself, but obviously with this Rose and Jack were both on completely different sides of a coin. She'd needed him to remind her how much better life was without all of those rules.

Sometimes its ok to have a good, long cry. It hurts, but after some time it actually feels good to get some of that pain out.

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(CW: PTSD?)

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