004: We need to feel breathless with love, and not collapsed under its weight

[payingfordeliverance]

Who: Xerxes Break + Established CR
What: The "ideal future" arch from the test drive: Blessed Are the Curious
When: Early April
Where: Break's backyard, except for the part where it isn't, because we're on the other side of the arch

Content Warnings: Everyone exists in a dreamscape that gives them altered memories. It is great so leaving it will be very sad.



Cast of Characters


"I don't want to die. I want to still be here."

Break's ideal future is not complicated at all. Not even a little bit. He has a great many people he loves, many of whom he misses desperately, and he wants them all in the same spot and he wants them thriving. Not even necessarily happy all the time, but fulfilled. Healing,, if that's what it takes. To that end, the illusion crafted by his whims is essentially a peaceful version of his new life in Trench with a whole lot of people from home added in. Anyone who interacts with him in this dream will find themselves influenced by -- and possibly entirely under the sway of -- his notion of what a wonderful future would look like for them. And, existing in this dream comes with an innate knowledge of certain people they have never met, all of whom can even be interacted with, though they reflect Break's ideas of them, too.

The Rainsworths: All three of them are here, of course. These women are Break's precious family, the ones who gave him his second chance and made him the person he is. Sheryl Rainsworth, the matriarch of the family, is a gentle noblewoman of around seventy years old, always well dressed and impeccably put together, damn near impossible to rattle. Bound to a wheelchair at home, she remains unable to walk in Trench -- possibly. We think. It is possible she could walk if she felt like it, but as a darkblood, she has a nice new chair that she floats around in at her leisure instead of waiting patiently to be pushed. She may simply prefer it, given the way she is so often heard chortling to herself and calling out mild warnings as she comes close to buzzing people in passing. Any and all chaos and shenanigans occurring around her are met with "Hohoho. My, that's interesting, isn't it?" Shelly Rainsworth, her daughter, is a lively woman in her mid-thirties -- having had extremely poor health at home that took her away from her family at a fairly young age, in Trench she is energetic and vivacious, and is storming through her new life with no trouble. It's common knowledge that she is Break's previous lover, and he's still utterly devoted to her. After all, the serene greediness of her personality is the primary thing that saved him from his own rock bottom, long ago. She has apparently taken Break's relationship with Qrow to mean that Qrow's butt is also hers to pat lovingly in passing, but outside of menacing the both of them with relentless flirting, she is content to leave them to it and go make friends ("friends") elsewhere without the boundaries of proper society and her health to dictate her shenanigans. Lastly, Sharon Rainsworth, who some know as the girl Break considers to be his daughter. She still calls him Brother Xerx when she's feeling especially affectionate and he still feels no need to correct her -- and, more importantly, having grown up something of a lonely and isolated child, any and everyone Break has a solid relationship with in Trench also belongs to her now. Ruby, Yang, Ange, White Alice, Lysithea -- congratulations, you are all her sisters. Most importantly, it is known that Sharon arrived in Trench still trapped in the body of a thirteen year old girl, despite being twenty-three. In Break's ideal future, the magic that caused this is lifted and Sharon has grown up at last, a carbon copy of her mother able to go out into Trench and mingle as she likes.

It is painfully obvious that the reason Break gets away with so much shit is that the Rainsworths think his nonsense is hilarious.

Reim Lunettes Break's best friend, a twenty-six year old nerd with the cantankerous soul of an eighty year old man. Reim arrived in the house and immediately started running it, for lack of anything better to do, because he is the sort of person who could scold a hurricane until it turned itself into a wee rainstorm to politely water his garden. (Xerxes Break is a lost cause.) Many of his interactions with Break come across as Reim relentlessly bitching at him, with Break basking in the attention and often deliberately making it worse. But they're also endlessly devoted to one another -- because this is Break's ideal future, Reim has never been in enough danger in Trench to send him on a murderous rampage, but it is known that he has done so in the past -- and Break getting into trouble always results in Reim seeing to it that whatever he needs happens immediately and with great efficiency. If anything, living together in Trench after Break's death has brought them even closer, as it's mellowed Break out enough to show his appreciation of Reim more openly. An amiable and helpful person, Reim is happy to help out whoever else comes to him with a problem too, his nerves and stammering and anxious glasses-cleaning habit hiding a sturdy and reliable personality.

He's Break's handler, is what we're getting at. He can often be found in a trio with Break and Sharon, the Rainsworth bubble back together again.

Gilbert Nightray: Qrow had Ozpin. Gilbert had Break. Qrow arguably got the better deal, honestly. A young man in his mid-twenties who has only one arm these days, Gil is the third member of the Oz-Black Alice-Gil trifecta, and is most often chasing one or both of them around. Having learned to cook out of concern for Break years previous, he is also often found in the kitchen, where he and his old mentor have settled into a bitchy sort of teamwork together that works primarily because they each have their own specialties. He comes with a giant skull-headed Raven that spits blue fire, and meets most idiotic Trench shenanigans by pointing accusingly and screaming at them. The awareness of Gil in this dream is a little hazy, a reflection of one of Break's strongest regrets in Trench -- that Gil only realized who he was and grew up right at the very end, such that Break didn't have much time to get to know him. But he's here, because Oz and Alice need him, and whenever Break feels the need to go out and kill a beast for some reason Gil is inevitably at his side. Every now and again he's riled enough to overcome his own fumbling and make friendship speeches at people, and what he says he'll do, he does.

Elliot Nightray: The boy was here for a few months in the very beginning of Break's time in Trench, and the version of him that appears in the dream is a little taller, moves a little more easily, dresses a little more casually. He'd only just gotten started that first time around, and Break was seeing the barest beginnings of a war stirring within him then, as obligation drove him to the Hunters and love drove him to his piano. Here in Break's "ideal", Elliot has chosen the latter, and works as a musician for one of the local Sleeper clubs. The other residents of Haven won't ever replace the family he lost, but they've given him a new one to fuss over, and in that sense he sort of serves as Break's right-hand man. It was Elliot, after all, who was clear-eyed enough even in the midst of his own grief to realize that Oz needed a lot of looking after and the Alices were in want of people to guide them to becoming people themselves.

Oscar Vessalius The Duke of Vessalius and Oz's beloved uncle, a wild and rambunctious fountain of positivity and love. Oscar is the one who taught everyone else the philosophy of the Unbirthday -- the active choice to celebrate the every day beauty of the mundane, and to treasure being with your loved ones in a conscious way. Break has him here both because he adores Oscar and has for years, and because "what would Lord Oscar do" has been his question to himself whenever he needs to cheer up a kid in particular. Oscar has met Trench's everything with unyielding light, routinely throws parties at it, and is known for dragging anyone who looks too sad -- or corrupt -- into insane shenanigans that may or may not involve sneaking into random places in disguise. His wife and child are around too, unseen, because separating them again would just be too cruel. Let him wax poetic at you about his Lovely Wife Sarah, a commoner he met while out mingling and masquerading as not-a-duke, fell for, married despite the scandal, and has been devoted to all his life. Yes, he even has that kind of love story. He's what Break tries to be, and Break isn't nearly so successful at it.

Bonus RWBYs: Where there is Break, there is Qrow, and Qrow's ideal has the rest of his family returned to him -- Yang, the niece he's actually related to by blood, Ruby's half-sister; Raven, his own twin, reconciled; Clover, the amiable ex who has finally settled in to really creating a life for himself now that he won't simply be ripped back to whatever does or doesn't await him in Remnant's afterlife; Tai, because the girls need their dad, and of course, his Shelly, the notorious Summer Rose. Given that Break doesn't know any of these people himself, the actual details on them are vague in the dream unless Qrow himself is also around to influence it. But one thing's for sure: Summer and Shelly are besties who routinely and lovingly terrorize everyone together, and they've drawn damn near everyone who could possibly be relevant into frequent mother-daughter activities ranging from shopping trips to club nights to tea parties.

Ange's Family™ is also around, probably. There are no details on this whatsoever because the only concrete facts he has here other than "they're dead" are "there's this one aunt we really don't like" and "the brother ran off with some asshole", and quite frankly Break is not touching that. Whoever's around, Ange is happy about it. We do not need to think about it any harder than that.


Prompts


A Very Merry Unbirthday

This is probably not the moment to be thinking about this, but...once we're back, I would like to hold another tea party.

So said Oz Vessalius as they all roamed the streets of Sablier together, on their way to try and save the world. That moment had been pivotal for Break, who had been stunned to find himself happy to be there with them in spite of everything. It was a side effect of the way Oz had punched a crack in his armor all the way back at the theater, allowing the lot of them to worm their way properly into his heart, and as the others planned their party all around him he simply couldn't deny it anymore. He'd known, then, that he was never going to see such a party, and that Oz himself was probably well aware it was the last time they'd be together like so. But the boy's capacity to hope in such a way all the same had kept Break going long after his last fight ought to have killed him, and let him die with hope in his own heart in turn where once there had been only the obligation to grant a wish.

No surprise, then, that a tea party wherein everyone is all together on a beautiful sunny day is the primary activity that Break's ideal future revolves around. It's to be held in Haven's backyard, of course, where there's ample space and a wall to protect them from the ambling dangers inherent to Trench, and the preparations are happening in earnest. Break likes to scurry around and have his nose in everything, so he can be found in all sorts of places. Before things really get going for the day, of course he takes his morning tea on the back patio with his beloved Rainsworths, in some combination or other. In the backyard with Oscar, he can be found helping to set up the tables and decorations and occasionally getting into ridiculous spontaneous musical numbers. Or, perhaps, in the Alices' craft room working on making the decorations. He's also in and out of the kitchen all day, sometimes antagonizing Gilbert or Reim, baking something or doing the washing up or happy to whip together a lunch for anyone who wanders in hungry from all the work. And, at the end of it all when the tea party is really going, Break is off to the side to listen in on Oscar Vessalius's usual speech, which he never gets tired of hearing:

Today might not be a special day, but...there's still every reason to celebrate it! The weather is fine, the wind is clear, the flowers are in bloom! Everyone, I'm really happy to be here with you today! That's it...today's a wonderful ordinary day, isn't it?

Happy unbirthday!

Everyone gathered lifts their teacups in a toast. Elliot settles in at his piano, dragged outside for the occasion, to play some jaunty tunes. Hayato Ichimonji is around, taking pictures he'll cheerfully pass out copies of later, because of course we all know photographs are a crucial part of every tea party. The sun really is there, brighter than any of the overcast days Trench has yet given them, and everyone laughs and chatters with no concern that they may attract a beast or some other Trench problem. The food doesn't do anything weird to anybody. Nobody is dealing with corruption, or if they were, it's certainly dwindling fast. As the afternoon drags into evening, the twinkling fairy lights that greeted everyone that very first night at the boardwalk illuminate the garden. Everyone is together. All is well.

Never mind that the dream is hazy, and shifts sometimes in obvious ways. Break seems to be in all sorts of places without really having to travel between them, as though this place exists in segments rather than in a continuous stream, and if he gets too distracted his missing loved ones all go still and quiet around him. People can walk in on him making one lunch and in the blink of an eye find him making their favorite instead. And, whether they succumb to it or not, anyone who gets too close to him feels the pull of his wishes on them -- Qrow is relaxed, unworried about the danger inherent to his Semblance, and loves easily. Ange laughs often, her exhaustion lifted. Don't worry about it. Today's a wonderful ordinary day.


And I'm Haunted

Break himself looks different, distinct from his "current" self in Trench. His long ponytail is back, for the sole reason that Shelly Rainsworth loves messing with it, and Break will never deny her anything. He hasn't "aged", per se, but he feels older, the atmosphere around him more gentle and at peace. Baltus has gained a few white patches down his chest and at the tip of his tail, a reflection of the peace Break is feeling, and the handprint and recently added single owl tattoo on Break's wrist -- an emotional blood bond, and an anti-corruption glyph -- have been joined by a couple more handprints and more tattoos on both forearms such that he almost has sleeves, each image a reflection of someone precious to him. These are the only ways his "ideal future" for himself manifests, as he certainly isn't really doing anything different than his usual Trench antics. But he's at peace, and he has so many people he loves enough that he wants to carry them in his heart all the time, and etch them right into his skin.

Every now and again amidst the chaos of the preparations and the party itself, however, Break pauses to take a good, hard look at the arch that seems to be following him around, appearing in various walkways and slowly crumbling away as the day -- days? -- progress. He fell easily to the moths that brought him here, and he can ignore the arch and sink back into his dream, mostly. But the worse the arch looks, the more he feels like he needs to go through it, and the more he's able to glance around and see that this life he's found himself in is not one he has actually earned.

"This place..." He murmurs it softly to whoever is at his side, loathe to disturb anything happening. "It isn't...really real, is it...?"


I Want Ours to Be an Endless Song

In the aftermath of it all, back in Trench proper and its suddenly unending night, Break isn't actually doing too badly. The certainty granted to him by his decision to leave has strengthened him, in a way, and he doesn't regret his choice to set the dream down and return to reality. He doesn't want to be gifted such an existence. He wants to be there for the journey towards it, every step of the way, and catch all the beautiful and terrible moments alike that bring them to such a beautiful future. This is really the only option for a man who gave his life to preserve his only timeline, even with all the pain and anguish embedded in it.

Even so, he's quiet and withdrawn those first several days...nights...that first week at home. Even if turning away was the right choice, that life was a beautiful one, and Break mourns it. He spends a lot of time pausing in what he's doing to stare absently at nothing, or to gaze out of the nearest window, and he's decidedly less chatty than usual. Baltus, all shadow and black again, sticks to him like glue, encouraging him to come along on his patrols and remaining in constant contact with Break when he's settled somewhere. Break leans over to rest his forehead against his omen's often, rubbing at the borzoi's ears.

"Ah, Baltus. Just how many lives is this place going to make me grieve?"



[OOC: Please enjoy this guided wildcard in the form of a novel! Please feel free to tailor a situation to suit yourself, have your character's "ideal" influence Break in turn, go as fluffy as you like, do a thread in the dream and come back for the aftermath later, whatever. I'll NPC the other Pandora Hearts characters as necessary! Since they're Break's idea of themselves, it's not like I can get them wrong.]

Comments

[entreats]

A lot of things about this situation should feel unfamiliar.

And yet.. they don't. Ange would never claim herself to be a party person, and yet she doesn't feel awkward at this one in particular. Even though there are quite some people present at this tea party, there's not even a trace of the usual urge to run and hide somewhere, to wallflower along the edges of the party and hope that no one spots her while she tries to just quietly eat some snacks by herself.

Instead the girl is actually wandering the party. Talking to people, just enjoying the weather, as if the darkness of the month never existed in the first place.

It's in that way that she - after a while - makes her way over to a table where two figures are sitting. She approaches them, carefully cradling her own cup of still-warm tea in her hands.

The two figures sitting there? One of them is Break, of course, and the person he seemed to be conversing with is none other than Sheryl Rainsworth. The woman Ange had previously only seen in a dream, but who suddenly doesn't feel quite as distant to her anymore here, in this space where everyone seems to mingle so naturally, like it's never been any different. Which is why, if there is any hesitation in Ange's smile when she approaches the other two, it's not born from any sort of shyness, or a natural desire to put up a front and pretend like she isn't happy to be among these people. Instead it's just a hint of politeness, a hope that she isn't interrupting something here.

"Is it alright for me to come sit with you two?"

[payingfordeliverance]

"Ah, is that Miss Ange?"

"Ufufu, Miss Ange, good day," Sheryl chortles. Cheerful and serene as always, she smiles at the girl over her teacup. "But of course you may join us. I imagine you've come to make sure our Xerx-dear is behaving himself, haven't you?"

"Tch! So mean," Break says warmly as he rolls out of his own chair to pull another out for Ange to sit down in. He does always mind his manners noticeably more in front of Sheryl, but it's not as though he doesn't spoil Ange with such things otherwise too, if only to fluster her.

The duchess chuckles a little more as she watches them. She enjoys seeing them together. She's the one person he's told most everything to for almost half his life now, and so of course she knew within hours of her arrival here that Break had attached himself to another lonely young lady, and fancied himself her "uncle". To that end, Sheryl has been just as warm and welcoming to Ange as she has been to her own family from the very start, and if she thinks Break is still "a big brother who can't bear to be parted from his little sister", she has kept it to herself. The time he had to spend alone in this place must have worn on him horribly, and Sheryl is pleased he found people who could take care of him while the rest of them caught up.

[entreats]

Honestly, even outside of the influence that Break is having over this reality and everyone in it, it wouldn't be hard for Ange to feel a little more open and free. There's just something about being somewhere and truly being so naturally welcomed by everyone that erases so much of the hurt that had changed the girl over the years.

After all, isn't that all Ange ever wanted? To not be alone. To actually be surrounded by people who care about her, rather than that enduring loneliness she faced. And here in this place.. there are the people from Break's world, who Ange didn't know before but have greeted and treated her so warmly in their own ways, as if she always belonged among them. There's her family right here with her, as if they never died. And then there are all the important people she met in Deerington and Trench. What more could she wish for?

It means nothing can stop her from sitting down on the chair that Break pulls out for her, yet at the same time batting at his hands with her own, like she's punishing a particularly naughty kitten.

"Don't try to act all cool in front of her!" She chastises him, but it's not quite as much in the angry and huffy way that usually accompanies that sort of statement. Sure, it's still huffy, but more in an almost playful way, like this is a well-practiced act between the two of them.

After all, it's hard to call anything about Ange's reaction angry when she's smiling at the same time. Something about the girl seems like she's having the time of her life.

"Seriously, miss Sheryl--" She continues, almost without pausing, as she turns towards the woman. "You should see what happens the moment you turn your back!"

Of course this is not true tattling on Break. Ange would never fully wish to ruin his relationship with anyone important to him, after all.

No, she's saying this exactly because she's sure Sheryl has got to know everything about this man sitting here with them. Even more than Ange herself does.

[payingfordeliverance]

"Oh, I may have something of an idea," Sheryl says, her voice full of a knowing warmth, while Break attempts to get around Ange's hands so that he can tug gently at her ponytails. When she actually manages to swat him, the game ends, and he settles back in his own chair with his knees pulled up against he table like a gremlin. "I do hope he hasn't been causing too much trouble for you at the bakery."

"So mean," Break cuts in again, looking well pleased with himself. "Why, Miss Ange hasn't even found a reason to throw anything at me this week."

"I imagine that's because you've been home this whole time, dear," says the former duchess, in the exact same smiling tone.

"A minor triviality," says Break, waving his hand vaguely. But, he leans over to grab a little plate for Ange, loading it down with a few of the snacks on the three-tiered tray at the edge of the table. He may not be on butler duty at the moment, but he is forever busying his hands taking care of the people around him anyway.

[entreats]

"He is absolutely giving Lysithea grey hair."

.. you know, of course the joke here being that Lysithea has always had that white hair in the first place. But Ange just can't resist an opportunity for a good dig like that when she sees one.

"I feel like I'm going to have to start worrying about my hair next. I think the red looks really cute on me, so I'd hate for him to ruin that." It's another one of those small signs of Ange being more open and comfortable, since she doesn't even bother to make her voice sound fully flat and emotionless as she calls herself cute - like she doesn't even feel the need to really pretend it's a joke or anything.

Maybe it's okay to be a little openly cute in front of other people sometimes. Especially when Sheryl is being so nice to her.

It's a bit of an odd experience, considering how little experience Ange has with grandparents of any kind, or just older people as a whole, but.. Ange certainly doesn't dislike it.

Though she does seem to notice what Break is doing here too, glancing in his direction before speaking up with: "What are you doing? If you eat this many, there won't be any left for me and miss Sheryl, you know."

.. yes, she does indeed not realise that he's grabbing these for her. Some things apparently never change about Ange, even under these circumstances. Apparently some people will forever be idiots about other people helping them or doing anything for them. Like Ange.

[payingfordeliverance]

"Whyyyyyyy is everyone always accusing me of being on the verge of eating the entire buffet?" gripes Break, who is always on the verge of eating the entire buffet. "All these lies and slander. I don't have to listen to this sort of nonsense from the young people."

He gives a prim little sniff of disdain as he slides the plate over to be in front of Ange. And, now that it is her plate, proceeds to steal a macaron off of it. Sheryl continues her fond chuckling; you can practically see flowers floating merrily around her head. The loneliness that Break has always carried with him, wrapped around himself like a cloak, is much less potent here in this strange world. She knows exactly why that is, and of course she'll do her best to enable it at every opportunity. It's good for dear Xerx, and it's also great fun for her to watch.

"I think it's just lovely that you've found so many playmates here, dear," she says smoothly. "You always did have such trouble getting on with the other kids."

Serene, she sips her delicious tea while Break has one of his tinier dramatic and offended snits. Now, it is again Ange's turn for the dragging, but if she flusters instead over being given treats, that will be fun too. Even now, these two have a way of awkwardly tripping over one another, and it is delightful. They are both simply trying so hard...!

[entreats]

Oh, there sure is fluster.

Of course there is fluster. It doesn't even matter that Sheryl is there. If anything, it seems that Ange is momentarily forgetting that exact fact, because she will certainly be even more embarrassed later when she realises that she was throwing an entire tsun fit right in front of the woman she wants to have a good impression of her...

.. but her reaction right now is way too instinctive to be stopped. It's hard for her cheeks to ever fully flush because of her darkblood, but her facial expression is speaking entire books right now. It's all there - in the way her eyes widen, her jaw drops, her mouth hanging open as she stares at the plate he shoved in her direction.

"H-Hold on!"

There it is. The sputtering.

"Why are you giving this to me after saying you don't have to listen to nonsense from young people, huh?! D-Don't say one thing and then do another, it makes no sense!"

At least Sheryl is getting a healthy serving of live fluster and Break scolding. Right in front of her salad tea.

[payingfordeliverance]

"Well, I won't have to listen to your nonsense when you've a mouth full of macaron, will I?"

Break says this with his own mouth full of macaron. He possesses exquisite table manners and uses them only when he damn well pleases.

"Although, if Miss Ange is fixing to go gray about her cute head, perhaps she is no longer such a young person after all --"

"Fufufu. You know, Ange dear, it may be high time we Rainsworths found a proper fan for you to carry," Sheryl cuts in smoothly, before Ange can get it into her head to fling the whole cake tray at him. The former duchess is not so uncouth as to make a fist, but she does move her arm in a circle a little, as though winding up for a good throw. "I'm still young myself! I can certainly teach you to throw a fan with enough force to embed it into a wall. A young woman should be able to defend herself gracefully from the vexations of men, isn't that so?"

Break goes abruptly silent by way of stuffing a whole piece of cake in his mouth and looks around innocently. Really, the arrival of the Rainsworths and their deadly fans only made it all too clear why he thinks riling Ange up enough that she hurls the nearest baking tool at him is a fun and amusing game. Now that he's again being whacked for his verbal indiscretions on all sides, all is right with the world, and it pleases him very much that Sheryl would make such an offer to Ange. It just means she's seen the Rainsworth in her, and that's a good thing.

[entreats]

Apparently Sheryl is just about the only person strong enough to keep this from fully escalating into something honestly too dumb to be allowed at this happy tea party. Because Ange looks like she's already halfway towards just jumping Break like some sort of feral cat when her attention is instead taken up by what the woman is saying, her head turning towards Sheryl with obvious interest.

"Oh.. Is that a family tradition for the Rainsworths?"

Look, Ange is definitely nosy. And while she has spared Break sometimes from her digging too deep into things, since she'd worry about perhaps going a tad too far, it's not like she's going to turn down an opportunity to ask these questions when it's basically being presented to her on a silver platter by Sheryl.

(She's kind of wondering if Break has ever been on the receiving end of it, but she's being good here and letting this man eat cake for a moment without her throwing those words at his head.)

Break seems to be so infinitely fond of that family, and Sheryl has been nothing but kind either, so of course Ange is interested. Fans might conjure images of aunt Eva and aunt Kasumi in her mind, which are the worst kind of images, but she's fully accepting of the idea of replacing those with clearly better fan-wielding women.

"I've never heard of something like that where I came from. Other than in movies."

[payingfordeliverance]

Sheryl, of course, delivers immediately. Eva and Kasumi both tended towards Barma vibes, with their own fans. The one the former duchess brings out from her ample mysterious skirt pockets has a teddy bear keychain hanging from the end of it. Nor does she unfold the thing so that she can peer coyly over the top of it; she simply hands it over to Ange to investigate, so that she can appreciate the legitimate weight of it despite it being crafted of paper.

"A woman of the Rainsworth family should always do her best to be cheerful, delicate, and beautiful regardless of the circumstances," she says, serene as ever. "But of course, there are circumstances wherein even the most cheerful, delicate, and beautiful of women must use a firm hand to discourage misbehavior."

Eva and Kasumi were both evil-minded individuals. Any caring sides they may have possessed were underwritten by distinct streaks of nastiness, and a need to lash out at those they hated or felt threatened by any time a single scrap of weakness presented itself. In contrast, the power that Sheryl radiates even just sitting here at this tea table in the middle of a festive party comes down to her firm expectation that the world will simply shift itself to meet her standards of quality. She may be talking outright about using fans for violence, but the tone in her voice is warm amusement, not maliciousness. Sharon is still growing into her position, but Lady Shelly radiates this sort of energy, too -- that she expects there will be no need for her to strike out at anyone, because everyone around her simply knows better, and wouldn't dare to disrespect the kindness that is a Rainsworth woman's standard.

Given how much fun Break has bickering with people, it's easy to imagine him meeting Aunt Eva tit for tat with exactly the sort of wicked false diplomacy so prevalent among the wealthy, and gloating hideously whenever he won. The Rainsworths, however, he adores with all he is, and for all that he was being a butt not half a minute ago he is currently beaming proudly. Rainsworth earned him.

[entreats]

When the woman hands her the fan, Ange does take it, but the way she holds it seems definitely very cautious by Ange standards. The way Sheryl talks about it makes it sound important, after all, and even that small teddy bear hanging off it makes it feel like something that was special enough to personalize. It's why she handles it gently as she turns it over in her hands for a moment, looking at it while Sheryl speaks.

It's also in that moment that she catches Break's expression from the corner of her eye. That smile on there, the feeling he's radiating.. It's pretty obvious just how much fondness he seems to be feeling in the moment.

And Ange doesn't think she can blame him. Even aside from what the Rainsworths did for him personally, everything about them seems a whole lot more respectable than most rich or noble families. It's not even that Ange dislikes her family, but she's conscious enough of what they're like to admit that this is entirely different from them. She couldn't imagine any of them talking about it this way. Aunt Natsuhi with her strictness without the fondness that Sheryl has to match, aunt Eva with her constant sharp tongue, aunt Rosa with her temper. Maybe Ange's own mother comes the closest, but then again, her mother had been practically the family member furthest away from all the dumb rich family customs with how she even fled her own heritage, so it doesn't feel like it counts.

It's to a point where Ange didn't even imagine that some rich families could be this way in the first place. With everything she's seen and learned, it's always felt to Ange like status and money corrupt anyone.

After having looked at it for a moment, Ange moves to hand the fan back to Sheryl, only then speaking up again.

"You're amazing," Ange says, open compliments coming more easily to her today than they usually would. But even if she might have had more trouble saying it under the usual circumstances, it's definitely something she would have thought even if Break wouldn't be right there, beaming the same words without having to even do as much as say them. Every single inch of him indicates it. "I really admire that kind of attitude."

She even smiles as she says it - something that comes more easily right now as well.

"Although I'm a little worried that it's probably too late for an uncute girl like me to really be able to master that."

And I'm Haunted.

[onekindsoul]

It was easy enough to fall under the sway of what was happening here. In Ruby's heart of hearts all she would really want is for the chance to be with and be happy with the people she had loved and lost along with those that still remained. Seeing the people Break and Ange cared for in their life did mean the world to her. But there was a tug at her heart each time she saw her mother, each time that she saw Raven with Yang in a way that didn't match the memories lingering in her heart.

It wasn't right and at her core she knew that. ...And as much as she wanted that to be different, part of what shaped her into who she was today was experiencing the loss and grief of those people. She... Was very aware of what not accepting that could do to a person.

But... She plays the part as best she can throughout this. Enjoys the party and takes in the what can be gained here. If they're going to keep these memories she'd rather them be happy.

It's not until she hears that murmur from Break that she finally let's her guard down a little more. The bright smile fades a little and her mismatched eyes droop down. She gives him a little nudge with her elbow.

"I'm sorry. It's awfully nice. But..."

[payingfordeliverance]

Break's own shoulders fall. Ruby is someone he trusts to have a weirdly clear head about things despite her age. But that just means that if she'd been against the illusion from the moment she walked into it, Break might well have seen her as confused at best, or corrupted in some way. That she's been allowing him -- and whoever else who is in here and "real" -- to take comfort in what's in front of them for a while is much more in keeping with the insistent kindness he's seen in her before.

So, he can believe it's really Ruby when she confirms his suspicions, and that she's right.

"...but this place toys with us before it does anything else," he finishes, his voice resigned. "If it's dangling something so lovely in front of us...that only means that -- to stay will be dangerous, in the end."

A ways away, Sharon and Shelly Rainsworth laugh merrily together, the sound calling Break's attention. Sharon is the one Break told Ruby about in their last serious talk, when she put her arm through his and made it a point to accompany him to "confession". He watches them now with a distant sort of ache written across his face. Guilt or no, this isn't a wish he's made any kind of peace with over the past month.

[onekindsoul]

Ruby feels awful to confirm to Break that this wasn't their reality. But at the same time it brought some relief to her shoulders and gut, honesty was always the best policy as she had learned. As much as she knew this meant the world to Break and whoever else was trapped in here.

She gives a sad little nod in agreement. "Yeah... I haven't seen anything leap out just yet. But I've been keeping an eye out." She follows Break's gaze as it travels to Sharon and Shelly and she feels a tug at her heart. Her own gaze shifts over toward her own mother and family looking cheerful and she frowns slightly.

"I can only guess how much you must miss them. I don't- I don't have a lot of memories of my mom. I was really young when she passed."

[payingfordeliverance]

"I imagine a lack of memories hasn't kept her ghost out of your life."

It's terribly blunt of him to say so, but it's been a decade since Lady Shelly passed, and so much of the time since has been outlined by her absence. Then, too, he's seen the impact it's had on Sharon, knowing how much of her mother that others saw in her -- Ruby is likewise the spitting image of Summer, he's noticed. Even if Ruby doesn't have much by way of memories of her own, Break can't imagine she hasn't felt the weight of the woman she echoes on the people she loves.

"To be able to look at pains you don't share, and feel compassion for them...that's a wonderful trait in you. You should hold to that." This situation and all the many feelings involved have Break in his rambling old man mode, apparently. He gives Ruby this praise with zero second thought whatsoever. "Mm, but...to exist in this place, but be outside of is spell...it must be rough for you, too, right...?"

[onekindsoul]

It was blunt and while Ruby does feel a sort of unexpected sting from the words. She understands where they're coming from. She knows her father, uncle, Yang's mom and even Salem of all people seemed to know more about her than Ruby did. There was always a sort of similar longing to know her mother, but not like this. She wanted to know the real woman even and not illusion.

She feels that sting of pain bull down and she smiles a bit more softly, she gives him a light nudge on the arm. "I don't think you have to worry about that. It's not always the easiest thing to do but it's not something I'd ever want to let go of. I's helped me through more than one situation."

She gazes around the room gently and she doesn't falter but her shoulders do a sag a little. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. A part of me wishes I could just fall into it live carefree for a little while. But- I guess I have a bigger responsibility here and that takes priority over how I feel right now."

[payingfordeliverance]

After a moment to digest her response, Break lets out a heavy sigh. These kids. These damned kids, and their stupid, stupid worlds that ask so much of them.

"That you would say such a thing...it's a side effect, I should think, of being tasked with a duty far bigger than you, to fix a world-ending problem you had nothing to do with causing." He sounds utterly exhausted, and the smile he turns to her is a little bitter. "You aren't even wrong. That's how it is, if you're going to live in service to others. However, I hope that...rather than shove your own feelings aside entirely, you'll find some way to indulge them. Otherwise they're liable to come exploding out of you regardless at some inconvenient and embarrassing time, you know...?"

The way he's phrasing it is a little humorous, perhaps, but there's an undercurrent of "don't ask me how I know".

a very merry unbirthday

[lludw]

Something feels off.

There shouldn't be anything off. It's a lovely day. The tea and food are good. He knows these people (does he?) and even likes many of them (is that true?). And yet, the feeling persists. Lucius feels awkward in his own body - it seems to be the wrong shape or size, throwing his movements out of alignment. He'd had to stop making a delicate Coldblood teacup (provides outstanding insulation!) because he kept dropping it. And if he tries to focus on any details, like what happened earlier today, things become...fuzzy. On his shoulder, Emrys starts to spread his wings, then stops.

Lucius should, he's certain, be happy today.

But being Lucius, he's finding that suspicious.

The least hazy thing around is Break. Of course, Lucius has known Break longer than he's known anyone else here. Perhaps it's just that Break is easiest to be around. In any case, Lucius wanders over to Break while the man seems to be wrapping up a conversation with Sharon. He carries the, well, handle of a teacup with a small amount of cup attached to one end with him. Holding up the failed project, he says "I'm afraid I won't finish it today."

I sure missed the hell out of this and I am very sorry

[payingfordeliverance]

Break, too, has been getting the vague notion that something is not quite right. But if he ignores it, it means he gets to chatter away with Sharon, and given how horrible Trench has been about taunting him with her these past months he can't help but indulge in being a little selfish. A little greedy.

No one present is a shambling corpse. Whatever this place is, it isn't a nightmare. For the moment, that's enough.

This line of thought is on his mind, at least subconsciously, when Lucius approaches. Break greets his comment with a bemused smile. From the perspective granted him here in the dream, Lucius has done very well, thriving in his own cunning and outfitting the household well with his practical inventions. But it's also given him a drive that's a little sad to see in a boy -- no, a young man Lucius's age. It reminds him of Reim and his workaholism, and his old, old soul.

"Working, even today?" he asks, his tone gentle as he takes the shard of teacup and gives it a proper look, running his fingers over the handle. "You don't have to, you know. Nobody expects it of you."

He isn't really expecting much by way of results, here. Lucius has never really been given to frivolity. If his idea of fun is spending the party off in a corner somewhere going about his business, that's that.

[lludw]

"I know I don't have to. But I can't eat all of this without working up an appetite first." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder at the extremely full table behind them, smiling. Even for someone without Break's sweet tooth, there's plenty to eat.

Though truth be told, he doesn't fit in with crowds. He acts like he does, easily, and there's enjoyment to be found in parties. But Lucius isn't the type to just settle in.

...Still? He expects, somehow, that feeling should be fainter than it is now.