⛧ Aʟʟᴇɴ "ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴘʀɪᴇsᴛ" Wᴀʟᴋᴇʀ ★ (
likethelight) wrote in
deercountry2022-05-06 11:26 am
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Entry tags:
We could go down in flames (but we'll melt the world away)
Who: Allen Walker and Shouto Todoroki
What: Allen comes back after dying while purifying beast-Dabi, cue pain (:
When: Early May
Where: Farther Shores
Content Warnings: Mentions of character death, character panic over disabling injury/body failure
[ Timcanpy has been waiting very patiently.
For over a week, Timcanpy has been waiting very patiently. While new Sleepers washed ashore and remembered their features and spring began and was celebrated on the boardwalk. After they had stopped appearing and the ocean once settled into its normal rhythm, grey and foreboding, without anyone further being brought in by the tide. Sunrise to sunset and throughout the night and moonrise, he stays up in the boughs of a lone flowering cherry tree along the black sand and watches the waves.
Sometimes having company, and sometimes not. Sometimes being the one keeping company. He comes down and stays with them, letting himself be sad then and clinging on.
But he's a good omen. He'll wait as long as it takes.
It's the first night of the full moon when he stirs suddenly, rousing from where he had been not-quite dozing, like someone disturbed from their sleep by a distant sound. Staring out into the waves so quietly, so intently, like he's straining to see... before he explodes into motion. Rocketing up, zig-zagging back and forth, before abruptly taking off towards the water—
—and then coming straight back, slamming into the nearby, camped out Todoroki's head and bouncing off like a squishy sort of softball. He's right back up and fluttering around in front of his face a moment later though. Get up, get up! Now! Nownownow!! ]
What: Allen comes back after dying while purifying beast-Dabi, cue pain (:
When: Early May
Where: Farther Shores
Content Warnings: Mentions of character death, character panic over disabling injury/body failure
For over a week, Timcanpy has been waiting very patiently. While new Sleepers washed ashore and remembered their features and spring began and was celebrated on the boardwalk. After they had stopped appearing and the ocean once settled into its normal rhythm, grey and foreboding, without anyone further being brought in by the tide. Sunrise to sunset and throughout the night and moonrise, he stays up in the boughs of a lone flowering cherry tree along the black sand and watches the waves.
Sometimes having company, and sometimes not. Sometimes being the one keeping company. He comes down and stays with them, letting himself be sad then and clinging on.
But he's a good omen. He'll wait as long as it takes.
It's the first night of the full moon when he stirs suddenly, rousing from where he had been not-quite dozing, like someone disturbed from their sleep by a distant sound. Staring out into the waves so quietly, so intently, like he's straining to see... before he explodes into motion. Rocketing up, zig-zagging back and forth, before abruptly taking off towards the water—
—and then coming straight back, slamming into the nearby, camped out Todoroki's head and bouncing off like a squishy sort of softball. He's right back up and fluttering around in front of his face a moment later though. Get up, get up! Now! Nownownow!! ]
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But he also knows, Allen isn't. It's why he doesn't automatically reach for his shirt and remove it like he might have with anyone else, aside from a girl... which is obviously different. He might not understand a lot of things, but he can tell when someone is uncomfortable. He hesitates. Fidgets. It's a side of Allen, he's seen a lot of today and isn't sure if it's a side effect of returning, or if it's him. If he's doing something wrong. So, he's hesitant too, cautious. ]
It doesn't bother me.
[ He waits for Allen to give him some kind of sign before reaching for his shirt and helps him out of it. The pants too, he waits for a gesture before proceeding. Left in the boxer briefs, Shouto doesn't try to remove those. ]
Can I pick you up?
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But really, his sense of privacy is always based more on how comfortable he is around someone anyway -- though that's different with girls. Obviously. But it's Shouto, so it's fine. And with his help, his shirt doesn't even get stuck on his head -- much! Much... Though also revealing the two new, should-have-been-fatal but weren't seeming scars since his 'rebirth' again. Though nothing from his fight with Dabi's beast form -- or Shouto's ice.
He does smile lightly though at the help after that, relaxed more now after his initial hesitation, as Shouto bends to help with the sweatpants and as he presses his palms down to shift his hips up to make it easier. ]
Mm, you can. [ The light twist of a smile deepens a bit at that; it's something Allen appreciates, but at this point he doesn't really need to ask anymore either. He'll reach out reflexively again too, and waits for Shouto to lift him before speaking again, more softly this time. ]
I feel bad, having to rely on you for so much... [ He doesn't sound guilt-ridden or that he's despairing that; just says it gently because it's important for him to.
Thank you. ]
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Heroes scar. It's not uncommon, and although he doesn't know the circumstances behind it, he knows it was excruciating. The knowledge drags at his troubled heart with the point of a knife, wiping the smile from existence. He doesn't try to touch him anymore or any less. He helps him out of the sweats, revealing the rest of the scar. His mouth twists down, unable to hide the turmoil brooding inside, and he lifts him into his arms, holding him close with more strength than necessary. He keeps him there, in his arms, close, yet he feels so far away.
How are you so strong, yet feel so fragile? ]
You shouldn't.
I want to help you... Even if you hadn't saved my brother. If I hadn't hurt you. I'd still want to help you.
You're always thinking about everyone else, you forget about yourself. You need someone to rely on too.
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Why do you somehow feel somehow like... you're scared?
His expression is quiet as he speaks, blinking slightly, but letting him finish before he just... smiles gently then. A little bittersweet but fond, warm in a delicate sort of way, and shifts so only his left arm is slung around his shoulders. So he can bring his right hand up--
--and touch the tip of his nose lightly. Not quick or strong enough to be a tap, but a very gentle touch. Almost like how one might press a finger to lips in a 'shhh' gesture, and his smile curls faintly. ]
I know. [ It's a little bittersweet. He really does know; Lenalee even told him that on a few occasions in almost as many words. "You think about everyone else but forget yourself." "I want to help you." "I'll always help you." "Why won't you let me fight by your side..." He knows how he is if he's actually pinned down and made to confess, but that doesn't mean that part of him can... change either when it's so fundamentally a part of him. He's crippled and he's more concerned right now with Shouto's brooding thoughts, that's just how he is.
Someone to rely on too, though... his expression softens at that, eyes becoming a warmer sort of grey. ]
But that's also why I'm so grateful. [ He withdraws his hand then, but only partially. It's not always easy to reach him with words alone, he's realizing. Ever one to use touch to reinforce his words anyway as they're sometimes the purest form of sincerity, that's a natural thing for Allen. So he brushes his fingers lightly against Shouto's opposite jaw before fanning along it lightly, warmly, and encouraging him to look at him. ]
Besides, aren't I relying on you now?
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The tightness in his chest remains even after he has his say and automatically reaches for his right side to ease the strain. However, he stops before he activates it, remembering he's still holding Allen and realizing he'll make him cold. Stubbornly, he lets it go. Away from the protective sphere of the sacred tree, his thoughts become easy prey for the corruption still nestled within him. The guardian sapling halted the corruption, but with his grief still strong, it couldn't clean the slate leaving him uncharacteristically vulnerable.
He listens to Allen but finds it difficult to look at him. He doesn't understand why he's grateful. The picture he paints of the world he comes from seems so much worse than their current hellscape. So, why?
Allen manages to drag his thoughts back to him with a tap to his nose. His eyes flicker with concern, but remain present, while Allen talks. When he starts moving again, the dark thoughts recede with the solid weight at his jaw, captured by that question. His throat grows tight, reminded of how much he's conceded since he washed up on shore.]
You are... Thank you.
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The darkness brings out the light. The darker it is, the worse someone is, the more his emotions swing in counterbalance to bring back the light. That's how he's always functioned. Always like the light, looking straight into the darkness and reaching out a hand, even as the darkness looks back into him.
So he's worried for you too. And wanted to stay together not just for a selfish desire he quickly tried to brush aside and smother, but also out of concern for those telltale little signs. Emotions that swing strongly, and the way the other boy had gone so cold and clutched at him at first. Joy and grief, despair and relief. I can help, so he wants to. Him relying on Shouto? Yes, but also no. Allen didn't concede because of being convinced for he needed help, in fact almost not at all. He did more because...
...we should rely on each other, right? He can't walk and you're plagued by your grief and doubts. Can't they help each other? You're the one who said he should change tactics.
That's the difference. He has no problem with that sort of promise.
He smiles at that response though, wide and bright, before giving a small 'heh', head cocked to the side as he lights up with just that very quiet sort of affectionate laugh. Patting his jaw lightly once and then twice (pat pat), before he reaches to brush the dual tone bangs from Shouto's eyes in a fond gesture, even if they pop right back. (It's kind of hilarious, really.)
It's nothing you need to thank me for when I'm happy for it too -- but he won't contradict him like that and just accepts it and that uncharacteristically tight quality in normally smooth voice in stride with a nod and a radiant sort of fondness. ]
If there's anything on your mind-- [ Bells in his tone still, but gentler. A little more serious. ]
...you know you can always talk to me about it, right?
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The kind he made to his family by virtue of his actions. By not giving up on his mother and quietly seeking her out, his siblings also gathered their courage to see her and rebuilt what was broken. The same with their father. By letting go of his pride and interning in the one agency he never wanted to step foot in, Shouto led the way for their siblings to face their father too.
This promise is different. It's not about broken bonds but broken people. Cracked with so many little fissures threatening to bring them down, they learned to patch themselves up and become self-sufficient. Yet, in these moments, they still need to lean on someone.
Rely on each other... he'd like that.
Maybe then, he can talk to someone about Touya. Someone who knew they were brothers. Who didn't simply know him as the Blue flame villain who killed so many heroes. Who wouldn't question his pursuit to get to know him. Understand him. With his friends still in the dark due to their earlier timelines and his promise to his brother not to reveal their relationship, his hands are tied. There's no one he can speak, bounce ideas off of and not be told to stop his pursuit.
So, when Allen asks him that question, his brother's image immediately comes to mind. How did he save him? What did he see? What is he... like? But those aren't the kinds of questions he wants to hear from him. Those are for Touya to answer. For Allen, there's another that he can't let go of, the ones that's been the source of so much of his spiraling thoughts. ]
When you were injured... in the end. After Touya stopped attacking. Where did all all that blood come from? [ The one that ended up corrupting him. ] Was it the ice?
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Allen's eyes widen for a moment before his brows twitch, conflicted. In the end... when he died. And he stills, trying to recall that time. Realizing there's been a reason why he hasn't been, pushing it down deep the moment he first clung to Timcanpy upon awakening. Ash and blood. Smoke. Death. Tears.
He swallows for a moment, pale grey eyes steadily on Shouto's own. Sorrowful, but gentle. Steady. ]
I don't... really remember a lot at the end. [ He doesn't remember the blood; just the sense of becoming cold from something other than the ice he'd been pierced with. Of feeling weak and drained, things he recognized as blood loss. ] It all happened very quickly after you showed up.
[ It really is the truth; it happened very quickly, and his coherency was already rapidly fading so he was running entirely on adrenaline. He'd felt death coming while still standing, so he wasn't all that aware of his surroundings. Just that he needed to stop Dabi (Touya) and purify him -- and when Shouto had been crying over him. Those are the two main things he recalls after being slammed out of Touya's spirit world.
The angle is awkward and he's unable to do or reach much while being held still, but he touches the other boy's cheek lightly. Brushing the back of his knuckles lightly along the curve of it as a point of contact offered as much as needed.
The answer here isn't good, his gut does say that. But please stay with him. ]
Your ice hit me, I remember that. [ He says it honestly but softly; trying to sugar-coat it would just make things worse. ] But the fire had already burned me really badly too.
[ He pauses, and already suspects the follow-up. It's what his instincts say too, recognizing that sensation. That particular way of dying. ]
...But probably, I imagine.
[ Fire doesn't cause blood loss, nor does his sword, and he hadn't sustained any cuts or anything else that would break the skin. And the death he'd felt--
He'd "died" once before from feeling his life slowly bleed out of him with his blood. It's a feeling you don't forget; it just happened faster this time. ]
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Drowning with grief in a pool of it, Shouto knows the reason for his corruption; he only needed Allen to confirm it. He closes his eyes and allows himself to feel the hand on his cheek. Solid and real with blood flowing through his veins, no longer bleeding. A week spent waiting for him under the guardian sapling with nothing to do but run through what happened, he knows. He had time to come to terms with it. He doesn't need to be to calmed but appreciates the sweet gesture nonetheless. Accepting his faults isn't difficult. He's full of them. It's uncovering them that proves the greater challenge. ]
Thank you for telling me.
[ He leans into the point of contact, eyes closing once again. Accepting the offered gesture. ]
I never meant to attack you... hurt you. I was always afraid of my fire, I forgot that my ice is dangerous too.
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Mm. [ A quiet sort of murmur; acknowledging. ] I know you didn't.
[ Before he told him earlier, too. Why else would Allen have still wanted to try and comfort him in his last moment?
Also, always afraid of his fire? That explains both the incident in the catacombs, and his troubled expression later after the fight with the Akuma at realizing he'd burned him. But he doesn't ask about it, it isn't the right sort of time for that, so he just leaves it softly and simply at that. ]
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I'll get you some soap and bath supplies.
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The warm water is an absolute blessing -- he'd been getting cold with barely any clothes in the somewhat chill air okay, even with Shouto holding him -- and the lack of weight he has in it makes it easier to move around. Allen twists around though, crossing his arms and settling his forearms along on the edge to watch Shouto with a curious, but also thoughtful sort of expression, chin resting on his wrists. Considering how the other had brightened and smiled at Timcanpy splashing around, and said of this whole place he liked the bath. ]
Did you want to take yours now too? It's big enough.
[ a beat ]
Timcanpy won't mind.
[ Clearly this is the deciding factor.
Look, he's covered enough -- would have preferred a towel but more preferred not having to awkwardly strip around the other -- and it's not really that different from how the baths were at the Order. He doesn't mind. ]
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He walks over to the small cupboard where he keeps a few supplies, hauling out some special items. When he returns, he's carrying two different bars of soap, lavender and eucalyptus. Shampoo and conditioner, plus a washcloth. A few choice bath bombs he got duped for as part of a 'rare and special' bath kit, but right now, it's worth every penny. He hasn't used them before, but what better time to experiment?
Setting down each item on the ledge of the wooden bath, Shouto looks up at the question, eyes shifting to Tim, who is busy splashing in the water, paying no mind. Then back to Allen, mulling over the offer. ]
Are you sure?
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Allen continues to watch with some curiosity as he lines up each of the items on the edge, recognizing some and not others, and sniffing for a moment at catching a bit of the scent of the bars. But his gaze flicks back to Shouto when he pauses and looks at him, and he lifts his chin up then and smiles. With an easy and certain sort of steadiness. ]
Mm, I'm sure.
[ He might be a kind and selfless person, but he also would legit not have offered if he wasn't also comfortable with it. He's not that selfless. ]
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The smile gives him his answer. He might not understand his comfort level, but he'll respect it either way. It's not like he minds. Though, saving water and hanging out with a friend is a much better prospect than bathing alone while he's asleep. ]
Okay. I'll wash up first.
[ Get rid of some of the sweat and grime first, to preserve the cleanliness of the water. ]
I won't take long.
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Alright. [ He dips back down then to give the other his privacy, and splashes the water a little to get Timcanpy's attention. Is his primary objective to play with Tim a little while waiting for Shouto? Yes. They haven't had a bath properly big enough for him to be able to do that with him in... ever as far as Trench is concerned.
Which means he's also going to be eyeing that washcloth, and after a bit lurks over to snag it. For himself? No. Prioritizing his golem first? Of course he is. Cleaning off mars that aren't there at all (he's an Omen after all) and merrily rubbing away at the little thing while Tim squirms and splashes around like a little kid at bathtime.
Allen's always loved baths too, and it's entirely because of Timcanpy and spending time polishing him. It's a companionship thing, you know. ]
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Once his uniform is set aside, he settles down on one of the wooden benches and starts cleaning himself with soap and a bucket full of freezing cold water. He barely notices it's 'cold'. Scrub, scrub, scrub. He gets to work and even rinses his hair so it's not such a mess - there's no difference when he's done. Washed and rinsed. He grabs a towel, wrapping it around his waist while he cleans up his area. Once he's done, he walks back to the bath and climbs over the ledge to settle himself inside. A few seconds later, the water starts to warm again, gaining some of the heat lost during his absence. ]
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He glances over when Shouto comes back, eyes flickering over before he gives him a light smile. Tim squirms free finally too, and begins puttering around in the middle of the bath, content to do his own thing for a while and bobble along. Brighter and shinier? A bit, and he has a gleeful smile for it.
Curious, Allen glances back over at the items Shouto had brought out, scooting a bit closer to the bath bombs to one side as he peers at one but doesn't pick it up yet. Balls of dusty soap? Everything else he recognizes, but... ]
What are these? I don't recognize them.
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From his seat, Shouto watches the little omen free-floating in the water. He enjoys watching his friends happy and content. It loosens some of his own rigid aspects, allowing him to relax around them. When Allen speaks up, he shifts his attention to him looking at the colorful ball in his hand. ]
They're bath bombs. If you put them in the water they dissolve and release salts and oils to moisturize your skin. They're usually scented.
[ So they leave a nice smell lingering in the bath while you soak. ]
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Sniffing at them for a moment and trying to isolate if there are different scents, he glances back at Shouto. Youthful curiosity amending him to look a touch more like his age. ]
Can we try one?
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Which one do you like?
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But it also smells far too much like roses and the idea of a rose scented bath is... weird. So he isolates the one that smells like lemon and lavender and holds it up, glancing back to Shouto. ]
This one. [ He glances between it and the water for a moment, and Timcanpy has drifted closer in order to watch. ]
Do we just... drop it in? [ no 'boom', right ]
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You can lower it slowly, so you can smell it better. [ He slowly lowers the non-object into the bath to demonstrate. ] It'll start to fizz and dissolve, leaving behind bits of lemon and lavender. The scent of both of them will hit you right away and you'll start to feel a subtle difference in the water.
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Ah, it does fizz. It tickles. [ He sounds absolutely fascinated by this, pale eyes round and bright, and Timcanpy starts snapping at the bubbles it releases like he's trying to eat them. And Allen's nose wrinkles as he breathes the scent in but gets some of the fizz.
It's funny, it's easy for him to shut off all the happenings of... the situation for why they're even here, just because that's sheer reflex for him to do. His near-useless legs, and the darker sense of guilt at the memories of his death kept tight behind a willful and desperate dam. If you can't do anything to change it, there's no point in dwelling on something. One coping mechanism. And when you're feeling anxious, it helps to think of happy things you can look forward to...
Or to better yet do if that's possible, take those rare happy moments and enjoy them, and he glances up after a moment and smiles at Shouto, a gentler sort of one that's more relaxed than bright now. ]
It's funny. I think a lot of people would be surprised you'd have something like this, but I think it makes sense.
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Tim is a reflection of him...
Small but full of life in every way that matters. He keeps his face to the sun and seems to grow more exceptional with every passing moon. Whereas Kizu is large and imposing, yet absent. Hidden away even now, while Tim happily treads in the open water. Boundless, he snaps at the fizz, ready to explore the unknown.
Caught off-guard, his eyes flick away from the little omen to his Sleeper. Smiling gently, Allen looks just as exceptional. It's distracting. Funny? ]
Why would they be surprised?
[ He's no mystery. He says what he means and means what he says. Any reputation he garnered outside of that has nothing to do with him but the tales others spin about him. From an imaginary Prince Charming to a golden boy that never existed. ]
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