better to burn out than to fade away ☼ may catch-all

[hopesparks]

Who: Anakin Solo, some CR, and maybe you
What: Catch-all with open and closed prompts
When: Throughout May
Where: Throughout the Trench

Content Warnings: None yet but they will be noted in the subject lines as needed!

Comments

[hopesparks]

"It's okay. Really."

He gives her a slight smile, trying to be reassuring.

"I'll keep you company for as long as you want me to. I'm not a great conversationalist, but I try to be a good listener."

[lightthedarkness]

She contemplated for a long time just saying nothing. But then, Anakin was a relative stranger in a lot of ways. He didn't know who all her friends were, who all her loved ones were, he knew nothing about her backstory. She could say things and just listen rather than connect the dots to all the people she loved.

Because she couldn't say this to her loved ones, the thoughts were there, but she knew how much these thoughts would upset them. It wasn't that they weren't enough, it was that she wasn't always strong enough. This place... it was too much sometimes.

"I've lost a lot a people I love recently... and it's hard not to think about following them, ya know? I know they would want me to keep going. I already know that before being told it. But the people I love... I chose this place for them. So why stay if they keep leaving?" Just like in the battle with Galaxia, if every single one of her loved ones was dead, why keep going in an endless war? If she was left here in Trench all alone...

But there were still loved ones here, but she wondered if they were remaining for her like she remained for them? Did they also want to go home and just didn't voice it?

"This isn't home for me. I make do... but I really... it's hard to ever think of this place as home, and I'm not sure I can."

[hopesparks]

Anakin lets the silence linger. If she wants to talk about it, she will. Or they could just enjoy the park together quietly. He's not exactly surprised when she breaks the silence.

He's quiet for a moment. "That's a really hard position to be in."

Anakin wasn't lying when he said he's not a great conversationalist. But he's listening. It's important that she feels heard.

[lightthedarkness]

"I think the part I hate most... is that I hate myself for choosing it," she whispered, bringing her hands up to her mouth, and closing her eyes.

"I know I can go back, but some part of me wonders if I shouldn't have even chosen this, to begin with and I hate myself for thinking that, because there were so many I loved here as well."

But now... the number keeps dwindling more and more. If there is no one left who she loves that deeply...

"I know loss is a part of life, I know I will lose people all the time. But I keep-" her breath suddenly hitches and her eyes burn. "I hate being left behind. I'm not strong enough to just keep going alone."